We AAR All Doomed! A Terribly Odd Prussia AAR.

[unmerged(93782)]

Author's Disclaimer: No mind-altering substances were used in the making of this AAR.

God Save the Queen! (We mean it, MAAAAAAN)

The Reich has been making progress in South Africa, and Transvaal is also taking territory.

Reich Soldiers are fighting the largest battle in the South Africa Campaign.
Ech, nein comment.
What?
I've nothing to say, really.

Oh geez more Ameri---
HAHAHA. ENGLAND'S COLONIES ARE OURS!
SHUT UP! I VANT TO TAKE A NAP!

AMERICA HAS TAKEN LAND!
Good for you, we've taken more.
SHUT UP.
Nein, your mother!

So the US makes a bold move on the UK's homeland.

I give them the Inverness Army
Now vy did you do zat? Zey won't shut up now.

Well, they did take Scotland.
Ja, but really. Does anyone care about what America does?
I DO.

Meanwhile, the last vestiges of English resistance in South Africa are eliminated.
Zat ist good news.
There's bad news.
Of course...

The US lost Scotland.
Idiots!
IT WASN'T OUR FAULT, ENGLAND'S FULL OF CRAP AND MOBILIZATION POOLS.
True.
True.



So, Kaiser, I gotta say something.
Vas?
I.. Uh... Kinda altered the South Africa reports.
Vas?
Well, you see, we never had an army there.
Vas?!
It was all taken by one man.
You lie.
Nope! Here's a picture.

Vas hath God wrought?



AUTHOR'S NOTE: I refuse to alter Bismarck's remarkable 'stache.

 

[Murmurandus]

Go Otto!! Take them all out!!

 

[coz1]

It looks like Prussia is in the lead, especially with a mechanized Bismarck. Send him up to GB and see what he can do.

 

[unmerged(83622)]

Truly, the Iron Chancellor.

 

[robou]

Caught up, and i have to say, these American presidents seriously scare me, fortunatelty Bush is not clever enough to be able to use a battle suit of any kind.

 

[Alekeg]

And the crowd goes wild...

It's BISMECH!

Classic. :rofl:

 

[Woody Man]

And the crowd goes wild...

It's BISMECH!

Classic. :rofl:

:rofl: I love it

 

[billy bob]

And the crowd goes wild...

It's BISMECH!

Classic. :rofl:

I for one welcome our new Bismech overlords.

Deustchland UBER ALLES!

 

[unmerged(84988)]

I loved the Benjamin Harrison voiceovers on page 11, I pictured them in my head like an evil booming voice.

THE WORLD WILL BOW BEFORE ME, THEIR DARK KING, THEY SHALL LOVE ME, AND FEAR ME. THE GROUND TREMBLES, THE SKY DARKENS, THE BLOOD OF INNOCENTS SHALL---

 

[TheExecuter]

Bring it on, Kaiser! We will never surrender...unless you take this on the road. Sortof a comedy road show...with the blood of innocents staining the aisles...and massive robomech heads of state duking it out in cage matches and the like...then we will happily surrender!

TheExecuter

 

[unmerged(62343)]

Okay, I have somehow managed to make it all the way through this insane silliness.

Came here because somebody voted it best comedy in the ACA and I needed a Vicky comedy, so here I am, and....and....I dont even know where to begin.

Well, in my head your dog has a really cool, and ridiculously silly German accent. Ok, he sounds like the Govenator. And, well...that's it I guess. Although more pictures of Kaiser when he is conversing would be nice. I like the dog head on the Kaiser body.

Otherwise, keep up the good work, very funny and all that you know. No, I'm really laughing...really. I'm serious.

And, well, yeah...I'll vote for it.

 

[unmerged(84988)]

Okay, I have somehow managed to make it all the way through this insane silliness.

Came here because somebody voted it best comedy in the ACA and I needed a Vicky comedy, so here I am, and....and....I dont even know where to begin.

Well, in my head your dog has a really cool, and ridiculously silly German accent. Ok, he sounds like the Govenator. And, well...that's it I guess. Although more pictures of Kaiser when he is conversing would be nice. I like the dog head on the Kaiser body.

Otherwise, keep up the good work, very funny and all that you know. No, I'm really laughing...really. I'm serious.

And, well, yeah...I'll vote for it.

In my head I imagined him as having a sort of less deep voice.

 

[unmerged(93782)]

First off, let me say: Oh Shnap. I've got people voting for me? Oh Shnap once again. I just want to say a really big thank you to everyone who's read this and ensured survival for about a month to everyone who has voted or will vote for this AAR in the big AARland vote... Thing.

I never thought that my first AAR would really get me any recognition, but thanks guys, really. There is moisture coming from my eyes.

Also, you might get more pictures of the legendary Kaiser soon.

Let's Get the Party Goin', We're Gonna Party Hard (Bismech Remix)

Alright, let's check how the War is going!

Does my ginger heart proud to see this.
Vas, Ireland under another foreign conquerer?
That's besides the point, the main thing is that England is getting it's butt kicked.

Oh wait.
Vas?
Oh god!
Vas?!
There's a new US president.

I AM GROVERBOT.
Oh, you have to be kidding me, Kaiser, they're trying to one up us.
Zey can't beat Bismech!
I know!
Posers!

The Frenchies are loosing.
Ja, anything new you vant to tell me?

We're at Dunkerque.
Zat ist... Familiar.
What, you think they have a massive evacuation fleet?
...Ja.
*sigh* I'll send the Navy.
Thank you.

The Frenchies are actually winning in Africa.
Ja, how many Englishmen are there?
None.
Exactly.

Ah crap.
Let's get out of zis while we're ahead.

Alright, let's check the spoils

We made a quick land grab for the UK territory by Ethiopia.
You know, zat gives me an idea.

You know, zose Ethiopians, zey just can't defend themselves in ze state zat zey are in!
Uh-huh.

Spread ze German protection!


Note: For that guaranteed survival for a month deal? Sorry to any Ethiopians reading this.

 

[Brian Roastbeef]

What is this, about 1893-97? That means that there is Groverbot 2.0... still ain't got a damn thing on Bismech.

Funny as usual.

(Hey, 600...cool)

 

[unmerged(62343)]

Funny, funny....yeah well.

 

[robou]

The USA is begining to scare me...a lot... but im sure the legend that is Kaiser will somehow be able to make something out of not a lot.

 

[billy bob]

We're at Dunkerque.
Zat ist... Familiar.
What, you think they have a massive evacuation fleet?
...Ja.
*sigh* I'll send the Navy.
Thank you.

Perfect.

Oh and you are sooooo lucky that Annonymous4401 left. Otherwise you would be beaten quite severely for that attack on Ethiopia.

 

[likk9922]

I loved this. :rofl:

What is wrong with America, some may ask. Well you look at this AAr, and you can see what's right!

 

[unmerged(90994)]

Yes, America is getting scary. Even if you can keep Groverbot on your side, you will soon have to contend with William MacHinely and Teddy RooseBot!

Still, do they have time-traveling dogs? I think not!

 

[unmerged(93782)]

The Final Countdown

The Frenchies have (suprisingly) handed the Colonial British a sound defeat.
Zey are using ze Foreign Legion, zose soldiers are to good to be French!

And thus ended the 'Everyone Hates the English War'.

We've begun building some structures on the horn of Africa, it's odd, the world is now at... Peace.

Forget zat! America ist attacking Mexico!
Groverbots... Assemble!
Well... There goes Central America.

Soon Mexico bends to American demands.
Ze Americans are trying to screw up history more, but ve screwed it up ze most!

So, seems after that, we really are at peace!

Oh COME ON!
Just keep saying 'We are at peace' and ve vill take over ze vorld in no time!


We join the Americans, and the French join the Spanish.

Well, Kaiser, let's take Paris, for old time's sake.
Ja, vhen vas ze last time ve took it?
Hmmm, Way back when we took the Sudetenland.
Wow.
Ah, the old days.

Well, not much happened really, it was kind of boring and we wanted out of the war, so we just took some of France's Africa claims.
Ah vell, ve can always take more later.

The US and Spain settle their differences, but the US and France are still going at it.
I vill get ze popping corns!

So, end of the update, and the Reich is at peace. Oh no no no. I didn't say it! Oh no.
Oh Ja!

OH CRAP.
Jahahaha. Ze vorld vill be ours because of you!


AUTHOR
35 years of game left. We're getting close, and I've created an ending that everyone here will love and remember.