Is it a long play? Perhaps I'll pick it up from the library sometime.
Although I still find the aar funny despite not having read it
Although I still find the aar funny despite not having read it
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Originally posted by Sharur
Is it a long play? Perhaps I'll pick it up from the library sometime.
Although I still find the aar funny despite not having read it
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard is not an excessively long play...sort of...it depends how well you know Hamlet. Also, though shortish, so many of the lines are packed with meaning so to skim through it will not tend to give you a full appreciation. The whole coin-toss-resulting-in-heads section is hysterical and introduces some very interesting philosophical issues. What you could do, if you can find a copy, is rent the movie which is an excellent production. IIRC Stoppard directed it so it is true to the intent of his words. Tim Roth is hysterical, and Richard Dreyfuss does an excellent job as The Player.
Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett is an astounding play. IIRC it was originally written in French and then Beckett himself translated it into English and (I think) German. If anyone happens to know of a film version I would be very interested to see it.
I read WfG first in school and didn't particularly like it...but maybe that's just normal teenage rebelion. Then a girlfriend of mine made me go and see it with her when it was playing at the Shaw Festival or the Stratford Festival (the two big theatre festivals in Ontario, Canada - I don't recall which it was) and I fell in love with it...a love that lasted a lot onger than the girlfriend
Then I bought the play and re-read it and decided that I have been mistaken earlier.As you can tell, both are still on my top ten list, and I go back and read them fairly often even now.
A plea...
Well folks…I need to make an author’s plea here to those of you who are following along. When you look at Zimbabwe you’ll notice that from the capital city to the beaches of Inhambane is three full territories away…through mountains. At my land tech level this took my armies about two months or something to traverse.
Since I said at the beginning that the entire play occurs in one stage set, I can’t now introduce another set in Inhambane. Besides, I need the passage of time in the next scenes to be in the order of a couple of days, rather than about 10 years that it actually took for all of the following to occur so it needs to be reasonable for this to happen and for characters to be able to go back and forth quickly. In fact, to prevent this play from getting incredibly long and tedious, I’m going to ask you to let me take some literary licence and shrink the entire country down to the size of a large city. That way the protagonists can travel from the shore to the capital on foot in a matter of some hours rather than in some weeks.
I hope you can live with that…and recognize that it will look like a bunch of game rules are being “broken” or ignored.
Did that make sense?
Well folks…I need to make an author’s plea here to those of you who are following along. When you look at Zimbabwe you’ll notice that from the capital city to the beaches of Inhambane is three full territories away…through mountains. At my land tech level this took my armies about two months or something to traverse.
Since I said at the beginning that the entire play occurs in one stage set, I can’t now introduce another set in Inhambane. Besides, I need the passage of time in the next scenes to be in the order of a couple of days, rather than about 10 years that it actually took for all of the following to occur so it needs to be reasonable for this to happen and for characters to be able to go back and forth quickly. In fact, to prevent this play from getting incredibly long and tedious, I’m going to ask you to let me take some literary licence and shrink the entire country down to the size of a large city. That way the protagonists can travel from the shore to the capital on foot in a matter of some hours rather than in some weeks.
I hope you can live with that…and recognize that it will look like a bunch of game rules are being “broken” or ignored.
Did that make sense?
Act II. Scene IV
[Enter GATSI, HUD, NAPPI and GUNGA. All are now equipped with spears and NAPPI is wiping blood from his. All three are now sporting minor wounds that have been bandaged but blood has obviously seeped through before drying.]
GUNGA: I’m thinking that maybe we shouldn’t have done that.
GATSI: Oh, I don’t know. How many more of them can there be?
NAPPI: It wouldn’t take many!
GATSI: Well, I only thought that the three of them would make a nice feast.
GUNGA: What do you suppose that strange silver covering on them was? It certainly made it impossible to poke them with our spears.
HUD: Boy did it ever. I hope someone thinks to show it to Lucki in case he can make something like that for us.
GATSI: There’s an idea.
GUNGA: We don’t even know what it’s made of. Or those shiny sharp sticks they were swinging.
HUD: They sure did hurt though!
GATSI: And almost a hundred of our warrior dead. (sighs and shakes his head, bemoaning the loss of his fellow tribemen)
GUNGA: I repeat: I’m worried that we have made a bad mistake here. What if there are more of them in that canoe?
[All three contemplate that horrible thought]
HUD: At least Trado will be happy now that we’ve all seen such a huge canoe. It’s even bigger than the one he was telling us about. And someone should tell Din too.
GATSI: Gunga, I think you had better call out the warriors. If there are more, they may come after us.
GUNGA: Yes my lord. I’ll see to it right away.
GATSI: And I think maybe you had better find every able-bodied man you can.
GUNGA: Aye sir.
[Exit GUNGA in a hurry]
GATSI: Nappi, I’d like you to take our warriors and the zebra riders and elephanteers and patrol the beaches near there. If there are more of those silver things, you’ll need to have the men ready to trample and poke them as soon as they start to come ashore.
NAPPI: I’ll get right on that.
[Exit GUNGA, also in a hurry]
GATSI: Hud, I’d like you to get together all the canoes you can and paddle out to the big canoe and see if you can find a way to sink it.
HUD: Will do, chief.
[Exit HUD]
[GATSI sighs to himself and rubs absently at a rather nasty head wound.]
GATSI: I wonder what or who they are? (yells loudly) Trado!
[Enter TRADO. VOLO is accompanying him]
TRADO: Yes Gatsi?
GATSI: You know the big canoe you’re always talking about? The one you saw at Zanzibar?
TRADO: (his face taking on an expression of someone who thinks he’s about to be made fun of again and doesn’t appreciate it) Yes.
GATSI: Well we all just saw one down off the coast of Inhambane.
TRADO: (surprised) You saw one?
GATSI: We all did. It was huge! Even bigger than you said.
[DIN stops working and comes over to listen]
GATSI: What’s more, a small canoe was dropped over the side and three diplomats in shiny silver covering got into it and used some very funny-looking paddles to propel it to shore. We were thinking they’d make a nice feast so we started poking them with our spears but they just bounced off their coverings. Then they started swinging some very sharp metal sticks that cut some of the men practically in half. I’ve never seen anything like it!
VOLO: I’ve never even heard or read anything like that. It sounds terrifying!
GATSI: I can tell you, it was. But what I need to know is whether it’s likely that any other diplomats might be in the big canoe?
TRADO: I can’t say, though I did see quite a few others with the merchant canoe I told you about. There could be scores of them…there was certainly room.
GATSI: That’s what I’m afraid of.
DIN: I’ve got to go see this for myself!
[Exit DIN]
TRADO: What are we going to do?
GATSI: I just don’t know. I’ve sent Nappi to assemble the warriors, and Gunga is going to get some more tribesmen together to help. I’ve also told Hud to see if he and some of the other canoeists can sink their big canoe, but considering the size of it, I doubt they’ll have much luck.
TRADO: And what if there are even more big canoes?
GATSI: More?
VOLO: Well now that we know there are two, it’s reasonable to assume that there may be more.
GATSI: Oh gods! I’d better get back to the beach.
[Exit, GATSI running]
VOLO: Well my friend, it looks like after all these years you are finally vindicated.
TRADO: So it seems, but at what cost?
VOLO: You don’t suppose that these white-skinned diplomat creatures are actually men like us do you?
TRADO: I guess it’s possible, though I don’t remember seeing any merchants that were white-skinned or looked like diplomats do.
VOLO: I guess there’s really no way to find out. I mean it’s not like they can talk…all the noise they ever make is that funny gibberish sound. I’ve never heard anyone say that they understood any of it though.
TRADO: Well, I guess they can’t be then.
VOLO: I think maybe we’d better grab a couple of spears and go help the warriors ourselves. The chief did say that every able-bodied man was supposed to help.
[They each go over to the spears that are leaning against the building and select one. Then they set off after GATSI]
[Exeunt]
[Lights down]
[Enter GATSI, HUD, NAPPI and GUNGA. All are now equipped with spears and NAPPI is wiping blood from his. All three are now sporting minor wounds that have been bandaged but blood has obviously seeped through before drying.]
GUNGA: I’m thinking that maybe we shouldn’t have done that.
GATSI: Oh, I don’t know. How many more of them can there be?
NAPPI: It wouldn’t take many!
GATSI: Well, I only thought that the three of them would make a nice feast.
GUNGA: What do you suppose that strange silver covering on them was? It certainly made it impossible to poke them with our spears.
HUD: Boy did it ever. I hope someone thinks to show it to Lucki in case he can make something like that for us.
GATSI: There’s an idea.
GUNGA: We don’t even know what it’s made of. Or those shiny sharp sticks they were swinging.
HUD: They sure did hurt though!
GATSI: And almost a hundred of our warrior dead. (sighs and shakes his head, bemoaning the loss of his fellow tribemen)
GUNGA: I repeat: I’m worried that we have made a bad mistake here. What if there are more of them in that canoe?
[All three contemplate that horrible thought]
HUD: At least Trado will be happy now that we’ve all seen such a huge canoe. It’s even bigger than the one he was telling us about. And someone should tell Din too.
GATSI: Gunga, I think you had better call out the warriors. If there are more, they may come after us.
GUNGA: Yes my lord. I’ll see to it right away.
GATSI: And I think maybe you had better find every able-bodied man you can.
GUNGA: Aye sir.
[Exit GUNGA in a hurry]
GATSI: Nappi, I’d like you to take our warriors and the zebra riders and elephanteers and patrol the beaches near there. If there are more of those silver things, you’ll need to have the men ready to trample and poke them as soon as they start to come ashore.
NAPPI: I’ll get right on that.
[Exit GUNGA, also in a hurry]
GATSI: Hud, I’d like you to get together all the canoes you can and paddle out to the big canoe and see if you can find a way to sink it.
HUD: Will do, chief.
[Exit HUD]
[GATSI sighs to himself and rubs absently at a rather nasty head wound.]
GATSI: I wonder what or who they are? (yells loudly) Trado!
[Enter TRADO. VOLO is accompanying him]
TRADO: Yes Gatsi?
GATSI: You know the big canoe you’re always talking about? The one you saw at Zanzibar?
TRADO: (his face taking on an expression of someone who thinks he’s about to be made fun of again and doesn’t appreciate it) Yes.
GATSI: Well we all just saw one down off the coast of Inhambane.
TRADO: (surprised) You saw one?
GATSI: We all did. It was huge! Even bigger than you said.
[DIN stops working and comes over to listen]
GATSI: What’s more, a small canoe was dropped over the side and three diplomats in shiny silver covering got into it and used some very funny-looking paddles to propel it to shore. We were thinking they’d make a nice feast so we started poking them with our spears but they just bounced off their coverings. Then they started swinging some very sharp metal sticks that cut some of the men practically in half. I’ve never seen anything like it!
VOLO: I’ve never even heard or read anything like that. It sounds terrifying!
GATSI: I can tell you, it was. But what I need to know is whether it’s likely that any other diplomats might be in the big canoe?
TRADO: I can’t say, though I did see quite a few others with the merchant canoe I told you about. There could be scores of them…there was certainly room.
GATSI: That’s what I’m afraid of.
DIN: I’ve got to go see this for myself!
[Exit DIN]
TRADO: What are we going to do?
GATSI: I just don’t know. I’ve sent Nappi to assemble the warriors, and Gunga is going to get some more tribesmen together to help. I’ve also told Hud to see if he and some of the other canoeists can sink their big canoe, but considering the size of it, I doubt they’ll have much luck.
TRADO: And what if there are even more big canoes?
GATSI: More?
VOLO: Well now that we know there are two, it’s reasonable to assume that there may be more.
GATSI: Oh gods! I’d better get back to the beach.
[Exit, GATSI running]
VOLO: Well my friend, it looks like after all these years you are finally vindicated.
TRADO: So it seems, but at what cost?
VOLO: You don’t suppose that these white-skinned diplomat creatures are actually men like us do you?
TRADO: I guess it’s possible, though I don’t remember seeing any merchants that were white-skinned or looked like diplomats do.
VOLO: I guess there’s really no way to find out. I mean it’s not like they can talk…all the noise they ever make is that funny gibberish sound. I’ve never heard anyone say that they understood any of it though.
TRADO: Well, I guess they can’t be then.
VOLO: I think maybe we’d better grab a couple of spears and go help the warriors ourselves. The chief did say that every able-bodied man was supposed to help.
[They each go over to the spears that are leaning against the building and select one. Then they set off after GATSI]
[Exeunt]
[Lights down]
It makes perfect sense, MrT Thanks for the recommendation, I'll try to check them out
Thanks for the recommendation, I'll try to check them out 
When the first Europa Universalis convention gets together the play must be staged !
Oh...I really will finish this...but probably not until next week since the co-op Denmark project is taking up most of my spare time right now.
Act III, Scene I
[Lights Up]
[Enter VLADI, MIR, ESTRA, GON. They are all now “equipped” (as it were) for war and simply covered in blood. VLADI and GON have managed to use their spears to fashion a stretcher upon which lies a body. Whose body is unidentifiable as the head is missing.]
VLADI: Couldn’t you two take a turn for a while?
GON: Why not just put him down here?
MIR: What? And clutter up our city centre?
GON: Well there’s hardly anyone left to complain.
[All four seem to pause, reflectively, and their shoulders slump. GON suddenly lets go of his end of the litter and the body crashes down to the ground. VLADI, who wasn’t expecting it, yelps and lets go of his end too, causing the body to now spill out of the stretcher and roll towards the rock. No one seems very shocked or appalled.]
VLADI: Do you suppose they are the gods?
ESTRA: Don’t you mean God. I thought we’d converted.
VLADI: Well you may have converted, but I still believe in the old gods. I wonder if it’s them, come to punish us for stopping believing in them.
ESTRA: Oh come on now. Allah will…
MIR: Allah will do shit! What are you expecting? God to come down out of the clouds and save us? Rubbish.
ESTRA: But if we pray hard enough perhaps he will take these creatures away.
GON: Oh grow up would you. It’s all very well to do the forehead on the ground thing every morning. I kind of like it actually, it’s soothing. But all the thunder and lightning and “save our souls” stuff? If you ask me it’s just false advertising.
VLADI: What about the old gods? I remember the story about the hyena. Do you remember that one?
MIR: No
GON: No
ESTRA: Which one? The hyena? No, I can’t say that I do.
MIR: Tell us.
VLADI: Well, the story goes that there was this hyena, or is it two hyenas? No one. There was this hyena that was out for a walk. No. Wait. I think it was a pack of hyenas. Yes. Definitely a pack. So like I was saying, there was this pack of hyenas out for a walk one morning.
GON: Oh this is ridiculous! Hyenas never go out in packs in the morning. Everyone knows that.
VLADI: Well this pack did. Or that’s the way I remember the story.
MIR: You’re not doing a very good job of it so far. You’ve turned a single beast into a pack in less time than it takes to piss. Talk about your population explosion!
VLADI: THERE WAS THIS PACK of hyenas out for a walk one morning. Oh. No. I remember now. It wasn’t hyenas at all. It was lions. That’s it. So. Okay. There was this pack of lions out for a walk…
MIR: Oh this is getting worse. Not only are lions never going to go for a walk in the morning, but they don’t even COME in packs. They’re PRIDES!
VLADI: Oh. That’s right. Well there was this PRIDE of lions out for a walk. In the evening! All right. In the bloody evening. So they’re out for a walk and the one lion says to the other lion: “Get a load of that moose.”
ESTRA: Moose:? What’s a moose?
VLADI: It’s kind of like a gazelle, only more or less completely different.
MIR: Oh that’s right. I remember.
GON: No. Wait! There aren’t any moose in Africa. We don’t even know about moose. You’re talking complete gibberish.
VLADI: Oh just because you’re in a bad mood you go and blame me for introducing a non-indigenous species into the story.
ESTRA: Maybe it was just visiting?
GON: Visiting? VISITING!!!! Oh sure. A creature we know nothing about has swum across an ocean we know even less about and happens to be tromping about in the plains to be seen by a talking lion that you probably will change into something else in a second. This is the most believable story I’ve ever heard!
VLADI: You know, it may have been gazelle.
GON: Oh. All right. A gazelle.
MIR: Do go on. I was rather warming to the story after we got the first bit sorted out.
VLADI: Okay. So the one lion says to the other “Get a load of that gazelle,” to which the other one replies “Mouse? I don’t see a mouse.” (pause) You know it must have been a moose. Otherwise the joke just won’t work…
GON: Oh for Christ’s sake!
ESTRA: Who?
VLADI: Huh?
GON: Forget it. Please do continue. By all means. Have you got any other little surprises in store for us? Hmmm? Atomic reactors? Apollo 13 oxygen tank explosions? The Spanish inquisition?
[Grand Inquisitor voice from off stage begins the wind-up for “Nobody expects the…”]
GON: STOP! Forget it. Forget I said anything. I didn’t mean it. I’m all ears right now.
VLADI: Well now you’ve made me forget where I was. I’ll have to start all over again.
MIR: (breaks in before he can get started again) Who do you suppose that was? (looking at the body)
[silence – the others turn to look at the headless corpse]
MIR: Sorry. Was I interrupting?
ESTRA: It was a bit of a non-sequetor. You caught me by surprise there for a moment.
[silence - they continue to stare at it]
VLADI: I think it was Nappi.
MIR: Nappi? But he’s the general. Who will lead us now.
GON: Well it’s not as though there are many left to lead. That was a real massacre.
VLADI: Awful!
ESTRA: Hideous!
MIR: Ghastly!
GON: Brutal!
[silence]
MIR: How many survived, do you think?
ESTRA: Well you saw that great big ball hit Hud’s canoe. It blew up into a million splinters. There’s no way he survived.
GON: Yeah. And I saw another one hit Din. He’s a goner for sure.
VLADI: What were those anyway?
ESTRA: Great big spit balls?
GON: Could be. They came from those giant blow guns on the gigantic canoe.
MIR: That was scary.
VLADI: Actually, that’s when I started to run away. Right before those hundred or so gods arrived at the beach.
ESTRA: Now that was really bad. The blood was spraying all over the place. I saw one of those shiny sticks coming right for me but I slipped and fell and it missed me. I just lay there and played dead until they went away.
MIR: Do you think they’ll be back?
GON: Probably. I saw a dozen more of the gigantic canoes on the horizon and they were all headed our way.
ESTRA: It’s probably only a matter of time.
[silence – all contemplating their impending doom]
[Lights Up]
[Enter VLADI, MIR, ESTRA, GON. They are all now “equipped” (as it were) for war and simply covered in blood. VLADI and GON have managed to use their spears to fashion a stretcher upon which lies a body. Whose body is unidentifiable as the head is missing.]
VLADI: Couldn’t you two take a turn for a while?
GON: Why not just put him down here?
MIR: What? And clutter up our city centre?
GON: Well there’s hardly anyone left to complain.
[All four seem to pause, reflectively, and their shoulders slump. GON suddenly lets go of his end of the litter and the body crashes down to the ground. VLADI, who wasn’t expecting it, yelps and lets go of his end too, causing the body to now spill out of the stretcher and roll towards the rock. No one seems very shocked or appalled.]
VLADI: Do you suppose they are the gods?
ESTRA: Don’t you mean God. I thought we’d converted.
VLADI: Well you may have converted, but I still believe in the old gods. I wonder if it’s them, come to punish us for stopping believing in them.
ESTRA: Oh come on now. Allah will…
MIR: Allah will do shit! What are you expecting? God to come down out of the clouds and save us? Rubbish.
ESTRA: But if we pray hard enough perhaps he will take these creatures away.
GON: Oh grow up would you. It’s all very well to do the forehead on the ground thing every morning. I kind of like it actually, it’s soothing. But all the thunder and lightning and “save our souls” stuff? If you ask me it’s just false advertising.
VLADI: What about the old gods? I remember the story about the hyena. Do you remember that one?
MIR: No
GON: No
ESTRA: Which one? The hyena? No, I can’t say that I do.
MIR: Tell us.
VLADI: Well, the story goes that there was this hyena, or is it two hyenas? No one. There was this hyena that was out for a walk. No. Wait. I think it was a pack of hyenas. Yes. Definitely a pack. So like I was saying, there was this pack of hyenas out for a walk one morning.
GON: Oh this is ridiculous! Hyenas never go out in packs in the morning. Everyone knows that.
VLADI: Well this pack did. Or that’s the way I remember the story.
MIR: You’re not doing a very good job of it so far. You’ve turned a single beast into a pack in less time than it takes to piss. Talk about your population explosion!
VLADI: THERE WAS THIS PACK of hyenas out for a walk one morning. Oh. No. I remember now. It wasn’t hyenas at all. It was lions. That’s it. So. Okay. There was this pack of lions out for a walk…
MIR: Oh this is getting worse. Not only are lions never going to go for a walk in the morning, but they don’t even COME in packs. They’re PRIDES!
VLADI: Oh. That’s right. Well there was this PRIDE of lions out for a walk. In the evening! All right. In the bloody evening. So they’re out for a walk and the one lion says to the other lion: “Get a load of that moose.”
ESTRA: Moose:? What’s a moose?
VLADI: It’s kind of like a gazelle, only more or less completely different.
MIR: Oh that’s right. I remember.
GON: No. Wait! There aren’t any moose in Africa. We don’t even know about moose. You’re talking complete gibberish.
VLADI: Oh just because you’re in a bad mood you go and blame me for introducing a non-indigenous species into the story.
ESTRA: Maybe it was just visiting?
GON: Visiting? VISITING!!!! Oh sure. A creature we know nothing about has swum across an ocean we know even less about and happens to be tromping about in the plains to be seen by a talking lion that you probably will change into something else in a second. This is the most believable story I’ve ever heard!
VLADI: You know, it may have been gazelle.
GON: Oh. All right. A gazelle.
MIR: Do go on. I was rather warming to the story after we got the first bit sorted out.
VLADI: Okay. So the one lion says to the other “Get a load of that gazelle,” to which the other one replies “Mouse? I don’t see a mouse.” (pause) You know it must have been a moose. Otherwise the joke just won’t work…
GON: Oh for Christ’s sake!
ESTRA: Who?
VLADI: Huh?
GON: Forget it. Please do continue. By all means. Have you got any other little surprises in store for us? Hmmm? Atomic reactors? Apollo 13 oxygen tank explosions? The Spanish inquisition?
[Grand Inquisitor voice from off stage begins the wind-up for “Nobody expects the…”]
GON: STOP! Forget it. Forget I said anything. I didn’t mean it. I’m all ears right now.
VLADI: Well now you’ve made me forget where I was. I’ll have to start all over again.
MIR: (breaks in before he can get started again) Who do you suppose that was? (looking at the body)
[silence – the others turn to look at the headless corpse]
MIR: Sorry. Was I interrupting?
ESTRA: It was a bit of a non-sequetor. You caught me by surprise there for a moment.
[silence - they continue to stare at it]
VLADI: I think it was Nappi.
MIR: Nappi? But he’s the general. Who will lead us now.
GON: Well it’s not as though there are many left to lead. That was a real massacre.
VLADI: Awful!
ESTRA: Hideous!
MIR: Ghastly!
GON: Brutal!
[silence]
MIR: How many survived, do you think?
ESTRA: Well you saw that great big ball hit Hud’s canoe. It blew up into a million splinters. There’s no way he survived.
GON: Yeah. And I saw another one hit Din. He’s a goner for sure.
VLADI: What were those anyway?
ESTRA: Great big spit balls?
GON: Could be. They came from those giant blow guns on the gigantic canoe.
MIR: That was scary.
VLADI: Actually, that’s when I started to run away. Right before those hundred or so gods arrived at the beach.
ESTRA: Now that was really bad. The blood was spraying all over the place. I saw one of those shiny sticks coming right for me but I slipped and fell and it missed me. I just lay there and played dead until they went away.
MIR: Do you think they’ll be back?
GON: Probably. I saw a dozen more of the gigantic canoes on the horizon and they were all headed our way.
ESTRA: It’s probably only a matter of time.
[silence – all contemplating their impending doom]
Act II, Scene II
[Enter GONDI, carrying the missing head. It is, indeed, Nappi’s and GONDI is contemplating it as if in a daze. He is crying silently.]
GONDI: Alas poor Nappi. I knew him Horatio. (shakes his head as if to clear the fog. He sees the other four and walks over to the body and tries, in vain, to reattach the head. Stops. Sighs.) I think that’s it boys. The monsters are marching on our fair city. The army is wiped out. Nothing stands in their way. I saw the lead creature split Trado in half with his shiny stick. The rest? Well they’re hyena fodder as we speak.
MIR: So it’s over, is it?
GON: Done like dinner?
ESTRA: Finished?
VLADI: Is there nothing to be done?
GONDI: Nothing. It’s a slaughter. Our beautiful civilization crushed like a bug in a matter of moments. From the heights of glory, where we could sit in idle silence and contemplate our navels, to the depths of despair where all you can do is load a saved game and try again.
[silence]
GONDI: Except, of course, that would be cheating.
[silence]
MIR: So we wait?
GONDI: We wait for Todog. It’s coming for us and there is nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.
GON: Todog? It’s that bleak is it?
GONDI: That’s only the half of it.
ESTRA: Todog. (wails) Aaaaiiiieee. I never thought in my lifetime to hear that word spoken.
MIR: Nor I.
GON: Nor I.
VLADI: Me neither.
[silence]
GONDI: Well don’t look at me. I certainly wasn’t expecting it. I thought we would live forever. In peace and quiet tranquility.
MIR: Could we have done anything differently?
GONDI: I doubt it.
VLADI: Would a larger army have defeated them?
GONDI: I don’t think so and besides, we could never have afforded it. Not with a gold mine a thousand times the size.
ESTRA: Could we have made peace with them before all of this violence?
GONDI: They wouldn’t even talk to us. They just appeared. Appeared and killed. What can one say to creatures such as that? They had their hearts set on our destruction and they had the means to do it.
GON: So we wait.
GONDI: We wait.
[silence]
[As from a great distance, the sound of many marching feet can be heard growing louder and louder. Occasionally the sound of orders can be heard, given in French.]
GON: Is that them?
MIR: I’m rather afraid it is.
GONDI: It is.
GON: And we’re going to die?
GONDI: I expect so.
ESTRA: (suddenly cheerful) What if we surrender?
[they all look at him with disbelief]
GONDI: I expect that is exactly what we will do, but they’ll want to kill us anyway.
ESTRA: (deflated) Oh.
[silence]
[the marching and voices are now very close indeed]
GONDI: Well. Good-bye.
ESTRA: Good-bye. It’s been nice knowing you.
GON: Bye.
VLADI: Chiao.
MIR: Tah Tah.
[Enter CHOISEUL and about 10,000 French soldiers of land tech level ~ 20.]
CHOISEUL: (in French): There are a few! (he points his musket and fires, hitting GONDI square between the eyes, draws a pistolette and fires again, getting MIR in the gut. The other soldiers open fire and soon the last five Zimbabweans are riddled with bullet holes and lie dead on the ground.
CHOISEUL: (in French): That was easy. Let’s go after Ethiopia next. ABOOOOOUT FACE!
[The soldiers pivot smoothly in formation]
CHOISEUL: (in French): FORWAAAAAAARD MARCH!
[Exeunt]
[sound of marching fades into the distance]
[lights down]
[Enter GONDI, carrying the missing head. It is, indeed, Nappi’s and GONDI is contemplating it as if in a daze. He is crying silently.]
GONDI: Alas poor Nappi. I knew him Horatio. (shakes his head as if to clear the fog. He sees the other four and walks over to the body and tries, in vain, to reattach the head. Stops. Sighs.) I think that’s it boys. The monsters are marching on our fair city. The army is wiped out. Nothing stands in their way. I saw the lead creature split Trado in half with his shiny stick. The rest? Well they’re hyena fodder as we speak.
MIR: So it’s over, is it?
GON: Done like dinner?
ESTRA: Finished?
VLADI: Is there nothing to be done?
GONDI: Nothing. It’s a slaughter. Our beautiful civilization crushed like a bug in a matter of moments. From the heights of glory, where we could sit in idle silence and contemplate our navels, to the depths of despair where all you can do is load a saved game and try again.
[silence]
GONDI: Except, of course, that would be cheating.
[silence]
MIR: So we wait?
GONDI: We wait for Todog. It’s coming for us and there is nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide.
GON: Todog? It’s that bleak is it?
GONDI: That’s only the half of it.
ESTRA: Todog. (wails) Aaaaiiiieee. I never thought in my lifetime to hear that word spoken.
MIR: Nor I.
GON: Nor I.
VLADI: Me neither.
[silence]
GONDI: Well don’t look at me. I certainly wasn’t expecting it. I thought we would live forever. In peace and quiet tranquility.
MIR: Could we have done anything differently?
GONDI: I doubt it.
VLADI: Would a larger army have defeated them?
GONDI: I don’t think so and besides, we could never have afforded it. Not with a gold mine a thousand times the size.
ESTRA: Could we have made peace with them before all of this violence?
GONDI: They wouldn’t even talk to us. They just appeared. Appeared and killed. What can one say to creatures such as that? They had their hearts set on our destruction and they had the means to do it.
GON: So we wait.
GONDI: We wait.
[silence]
[As from a great distance, the sound of many marching feet can be heard growing louder and louder. Occasionally the sound of orders can be heard, given in French.]
GON: Is that them?
MIR: I’m rather afraid it is.
GONDI: It is.
GON: And we’re going to die?
GONDI: I expect so.
ESTRA: (suddenly cheerful) What if we surrender?
[they all look at him with disbelief]
GONDI: I expect that is exactly what we will do, but they’ll want to kill us anyway.
ESTRA: (deflated) Oh.
[silence]
[the marching and voices are now very close indeed]
GONDI: Well. Good-bye.
ESTRA: Good-bye. It’s been nice knowing you.
GON: Bye.
VLADI: Chiao.
MIR: Tah Tah.
[Enter CHOISEUL and about 10,000 French soldiers of land tech level ~ 20.]
CHOISEUL: (in French): There are a few! (he points his musket and fires, hitting GONDI square between the eyes, draws a pistolette and fires again, getting MIR in the gut. The other soldiers open fire and soon the last five Zimbabweans are riddled with bullet holes and lie dead on the ground.
CHOISEUL: (in French): That was easy. Let’s go after Ethiopia next. ABOOOOOUT FACE!
[The soldiers pivot smoothly in formation]
CHOISEUL: (in French): FORWAAAAAAARD MARCH!
[Exeunt]
[sound of marching fades into the distance]
[lights down]
And that is the very bloody end to the old Zimbabwe game. Of course it actually took the French two wars to destroy me, but I didn't exactly care at the time. Until then, for a couple hundreed years, I had no contact with any other country whatsoever except for seeing Oman ( and I think Ethiopia's too but I don't recall now) merchants at the Zanzimar CoT.
I built a ship for fun, jst to watch the other boats pass by, but I never got an explorer so I was limited to my starting provinces and the three slave territories that were adjacent that I already knew about somehow. Spain, China, Portugal, England...they all sailed back and forth a bunch of times and never even bothered to stop and say hello. Finally when one country does, it happens to be France in a nasty mood. Boom, there are 15,000 French soldiers landing, they slaughter my army. And the next one. And the next one... I barely scratched them. They took my level 1 fortresse in no time flat; moved on to the next, took that; moved on to the next...
I tried surrendering a few times but by then I was broke and they wouldn't accept peace for just ceding provinces. Eventually they made a demand for the 3 that they held and I accepted. Five years lateer they DOW me again...same result, except I couldn't even afford to build more than about 5000 guys by then (due to 400%+ inflation and crappy income due to all the penalties).
After that, I just gave up and decided to write a morbid AAR. Hope you liked parts of it.
I built a ship for fun, jst to watch the other boats pass by, but I never got an explorer so I was limited to my starting provinces and the three slave territories that were adjacent that I already knew about somehow. Spain, China, Portugal, England...they all sailed back and forth a bunch of times and never even bothered to stop and say hello. Finally when one country does, it happens to be France in a nasty mood. Boom, there are 15,000 French soldiers landing, they slaughter my army. And the next one. And the next one... I barely scratched them. They took my level 1 fortresse in no time flat; moved on to the next, took that; moved on to the next...
I tried surrendering a few times but by then I was broke and they wouldn't accept peace for just ceding provinces. Eventually they made a demand for the 3 that they held and I accepted. Five years lateer they DOW me again...same result, except I couldn't even afford to build more than about 5000 guys by then (due to 400%+ inflation and crappy income due to all the penalties).
After that, I just gave up and decided to write a morbid AAR. Hope you liked parts of it.
LOL!!!
That was great, MrT. I especially liked Vladi's story. Although, I must admit that I didn't expect the... *screams of agony drown out the words*
Fantastic aar, not to mention a great idea. Congratulations on finishing it
That was great, MrT. I especially liked Vladi's story. Although, I must admit that I didn't expect the... *screams of agony drown out the words*
Fantastic aar, not to mention a great idea. Congratulations on finishing it
My favorite part, I guess.
Try Kongo. No inflation until you actually make it yourself. Good cash anyway. And neighbors to fight if you only get one explorer/conquistador. My reformed Kongo recently stomped around Benin, but I'll be entering that information into your Eire thread later. Tah tah.
Thanks to you both. I found it hard to sustain the format (as you can undoubtedly tell) but I would have hated myself if I hadn't finished it. It was a fun exercise if nothing else. I may, in fact, try something like it again but I'll try to mimic someone a little more in my line...(verbose )
)
This is a breath of fresh air, honestly I am both dissapointed and pleased at the same time.
For I thought my little play bit was a first but I certainly missed more than I should have in January while I was away. However your style is very similar to my own and it is good to see, its a bit of inspiration i should say. Perhaps there is a bit of aura in this forum after all
I have not read it all as of yet, I must get some sleep but I will finish reading this. Allow me to lift it up for now by using the ole Blast from the Past tool from last year (back when i had much more time to encourage and promote the AAR forum, ahh the good old days)
Anyways, good show thanks for showing me this MrT.
For I thought my little play bit was a first but I certainly missed more than I should have in January while I was away. However your style is very similar to my own and it is good to see, its a bit of inspiration i should say. Perhaps there is a bit of aura in this forum after all
I have not read it all as of yet, I must get some sleep but I will finish reading this. Allow me to lift it up for now by using the ole Blast from the Past tool from last year (back when i had much more time to encourage and promote the AAR forum, ahh the good old days)
Anyways, good show thanks for showing me this MrT.
Excellent
Superb stuff MrT. I recall reading an AAR in play format on the EU forum but I don't think it ever got finished. This, having been completed, is a quality AAR.
Personally, I wouldn't worry about changing rules about dates or locations in plays. Shakespeare did this all the time.
Superb stuff MrT. I recall reading an AAR in play format on the EU forum but I don't think it ever got finished. This, having been completed, is a quality AAR.
Personally, I wouldn't worry about changing rules about dates or locations in plays. Shakespeare did this all the time.
Re: Act III, Scene I
That has to be one of my favorite parts of the play, had me rolling with so many parts. This is a masterpiece. Very funny and crafty. Well done MrT, I only hope you do something like this again.
That has to be one of my favorite parts of the play, had me rolling with so many parts. This is a masterpiece. Very funny and crafty. Well done MrT, I only hope you do something like this again.
*bump*
Seriously though, the Cinema Noir 'Who Killed Cologne?' reminded me of another great dramatization AAR that I though people might like to see.
Seriously though, the Cinema Noir 'Who Killed Cologne?' reminded me of another great dramatization AAR that I though people might like to see.
Hehe. I hadn't thought of this one in ages...thanks for digging it up.
Has anyone else noticed that the longer I've been writing AARs, the longer they've been getting.
Has anyone else noticed that the longer I've been writing AARs, the longer they've been getting.
Words fail me!
this is purely brilliant!!!
And I'm glad it was as 'bumped because I haven't read it before'