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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Keep it coming Joeb.

If your goal is SE Asia you might want to go after Burma next, as the UK has an event that can send it into war with Burma (you don't want them taking it before you do).

The same thing goes for Annam.
 
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joebthegreat said:
"Sir, are we ever going to go home?" A British soldier asked.

"And leave this liquor factory!? Screw that!" the British general yelled.
:rofl: Brings to mind what happened in my game as Persia some time ago.
I had good relations with both Russia and UK when the Crimean War triggred. Both tried to ally me, but as my army wasn't so large I didn't feel like fighting neither of them. UK asked me to give him military access, and I gave it. Then, after UK and France had landed in Finland and the Baltics, the war ended.
After about 2, maybe 3, years later British troops start to pour into my country from Russia. They apparently had walked all the way from Finland to there, they only had 1000-200 troops each. That must have been about half of their army loosing ~9/10 of their troops because they had to walk all the way to home.
Silly Brits :rofl:
 

joebthegreat

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Yoy21 : I dont know if I should be grateful or if I should warn you about the dangerous side-effects of reading and liking my stories... thanks :D

Quirinus308 : I plan on doing that soon... thanks for the advice :)

Lützow : That's the UK for ya... they have so much power they dont mind just leaving random soldiers here and there across the world...

Lurkers and non-posters and people who dont really care and are just skimming through this AAR and plan to leave me forever: :( *starts to cry from lack of attention*

anyway... I've played the game and plan on an update soon today!
 

joebthegreat

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Brawl in Bali... part one

After the Netherlands victory in Johore, King Graugermauf was feeling invincible. In this feeling of invincibility he put on a cape and jumped from the top of his tower in Pohang. He was never heard of again.

King Graugermauf had a son, unfortunately, so his line would continue. The child's name was Glenn. Plain and simple Glenn. Glenn hated people because they would always laugh at him for his simple name.

"Why dont you get a more complicated and Dutch name!" Baufminnwattzle Polvonhoist would yell.

"Yeah!" Reuborboun Voltrisk would scream right along side him.

Glenn would show them. He would show them all. He might not have a complicated name, but he had something no one else had. An influencial daddy.

"Your dad's dead" a guard said monotonously opening the door.

"What? No... this can't be... who will protect me when the kids start making fun of me!?" Glenn cried.

"Dont be so sad, you're the king now, you can do whatever you want" the guard said, and then left.

"Excellent" King Glenn said to himself with a grin.

After a couple beheadings, King Glenn headed out to a boat that would take him to his armies in Southeast Asia. They planned on taking two islands that the Netherlands had thought were a part of the empire for a long time now. They were called the Kingdom of Bali.



"You know the drill men! Get in the boat and wait for months until that diplomat finally arrives and we can legally declare war!" General Lackof Agoodname yelled to his men.

"Aww... but this is boring!" said a young soldier with a wife and kids.

This soldier was shot for his incompetance.

Fortunately it was only in the foot and he would be able to go home to see his wife and kids.

Unfortunately his wife was having an affair and planned on divorcing him and taking the kids.

"Soo... how's that weather..." Lackof Agoodname trailed off in boredom. This was going to be a LONG wait.

(With the Java people)

"Alright! The Dutch have said they want some more natives! Let's show them how good we are at fighting!" Said captain Jalambalamba Tikitaktoe. All the soon-to-be soldiers nodded their heads in agreement.

"Ready... aim... FIRE!" the captain yelled.

All the soldiers missed the targets completely. captain Jalambalamba was hit, as was about three thousand of the wannabes.

"That was pathetic! Pretend you're doing this against French soldiers!" captain Jalambalamba coughed out.

Every soldier shot and hit thier mark perfectly. Not a single miss, not a single error. The dummies that were set up to practice on were completly blown away.

captain Jalambalamba cheered. Then he died from that wound he had gotten earlier.

Everyone in the army cheered.

"Congratulations! You've been deemed 'good enough!' You will now go to the other Java soldiers and combine your might to equal that of a fourth of one British man!" General Greelfarsheen said to the men.

"Some day... our people will become a computer program... and we will destroy the world!" one Java man who had been watching all this said.



"So bored" General Lackof Agoodname said walking in circles. He had been on this blasted ship for two months with absolutely nothing to do.

"Sir! I have news relivant to the situation!" a soldier said walking into the room.

"Yes! What is it!" General Lackof said with glee. He was finally going to get off this stupid ship and fight these stupid Bali people and win and oh it was going to be so glorious.

"Honduras has declaired it's independance from the United States of Central America!" the soldier said.

"..."

"Sir? Is something wrong sir?" the soldier asked.

This soldier was shot for his incompetance.



General Lackof Agoodname was sitting in his room in the fetal position. He had been on this boat for seven months strait. Absolutely nothing two do but sit there and get rocked by the waves for SEVEN CONTINUEOUS MONTHS!

Why couldn't they just go to war with these stupid Bali people? Why couldn't they just attack? What did that diplomat do that was so special? General Lackof had killed almost 1000 soldiers on the transport with him in his dilerious state.

(With King Glenn)

"Your Majesty! Our scientists have researched Mechanical Production! We are on our way to becoming self-sufficiant in industry!" a royal guard said, walking into the room.

"Um, sure, whatever, fine" King Glenn said.



By the eighth month. The transport ship General Lackof Agoodname had gone insane. He was storming around the boat screaming his head off, knocking anyone who got in his way off the boat.

"Calm down sir!" a soldier, Yayomayo Shnitzle, said. Yayomayo had been great with calming people down. He had taken several courses in psychoanalisys in the past. Hopefully that training would pay off here.

"AND WHY ARE YOU SO FINE!? WHY ARE YOU NOT BORED OUT OF YOUR MIND!? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?" Lackof screamed pulling a gun.

Yayomayo opened a door to show a game of poker that all the soldiers were playing, they were drinking liquor and throwing empty bottles everywhere and having the time of thier lives.

"Oh... I forgot we had liquor stored on this ship..." Lackof said and soon joined in, partying with the guys.

Soon, another soldier walked in.

"Sir! The diplomat is here! We are declaring war at your command!" the soldier said.

"Aww... do we have to go now ? Can't he wait another month? This is fun!" Lackof said.

"Sorry sir, but the King wants us to hurry up and defeat these stupid Bali people so we can get on with our lives" the soldier said.

"Aww fine... bring him here..." General Lackof said.

Soon, an angry army was ready for battle.



"What island is it?" Yayomayo asked General Lackof.

"I have no idea, they didn't tell me back at HQ" Lackof replied.

"Let's attack the left one!" Yayomayo yelled.

"No, I think it's the right one..." Lackof responded.

"But I wanna attack the left one!" Yayomayo cried.

"Fine... fine... we'll attack the left one..." Lackof said as the entire army of the Netherlands went charging the left island.

It was the wrong island.

Yayomayo was shot for his incompetance.



After so many months of waiting for the diplomat to come, the army had charged the wrong island. But soon they were on the right island. The problem was that, without the element of surprise, the Bali army had gained nine thousand extra soldiers for battle.

"We're all going to die! It's a decent sized army that's fully dug in that we have to attack from the water! We'll never make it!" one soldier screamed.

"Relax, there's one thing we're not taking into account here! These Bali soldiers are bigger cowards then you guys are! They're likely to retreat before we even kill a fifth of them!"

He was wrong. The soldiers fought hard and long. And retreated after having lost excactly one fifth of their men. Lackof was humiliated in the eyes of the world.



"Sir! We control the entire island! King Glenn is demanding that you annex the country immediately!" a soldier said.

"No!" General Lackof Agoodname yelled.

"Fine!" the soldeir yelled and left.



A month after having lost everything it owned, Bali sent a diplomat to the Netherlands.

"Hello. I'm Bobojumbo Maumbo. My country offers peace, we will give you one of our islands and tell a bunch of countries that you are really awsome." the diplomat said.

"Screw that... but... now that you're here... GUARDS! SEIZE THIS MAN!" Lackof yelled as soldiers poured into the room and locked the diplomat in a cage.

"See, it's all part of my master plan. I would stay in control of the area until your country would send a diplomat to offer peace. Then I'd capture the diplomat and use him to declare war on anyone I want!" General Lackof yelled with victory. "Oh, and no I dont want to accept those terms of peace."



(Meanwhile, in the Netherlands)

"OK men! Our glorious empire has hired us to protect against the evil Strait of Dover! Everybody charge the shoreline! And dont give up until the water retreats!" the general yelled. Everyone let out a hearty cheer and charged the water.

"YES MEN! COME ON! THE WATER IS GOING BACK!" the general screamed. "Wait no, nevermind! The water's coming back with a second wave of attack! STAND YOUR GROUND! OK! THE WATER'S RETREATING! NO! NEVERMIND! THE WATER'S CHARGING AGAIN! DONT GIVE UP MEN! ALRIGHT! THE WATER'S RETREATING! VICTORY MEN! VICTORY! NO! THEY'RE ATTACKING AGAIN! HOLD IT WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!"

This continued on for a long time.



(Alright... this is a long enough update... I hope it will keep you busy for at least a short ammount of time)
 

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:rofl: The stupid, happy water, the English still in Holland, and Lackof capturing a diplomat :D All in one package.
 

joebthegreat

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OK people! I will be updating within the hour... and in case I dont you have all the rights to slap me.

Yoy21 : My most loyal reader... upon you I bestow twelve golden stars. May you use them wisely.

Duke of Wellington : Just read through my AAR? And you didn't get bored? This is a sign of things to come!

Anyway...

On to the update!
 

joebthegreat

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After the victory in Bali, the Royal Dutch Navy was given a message from the Netherlands. Captain Joekle Frohemeian recieved this message on the third of February, 1841.

"Help! We are under attack by the Strait of Dover. Our men are resisting valiantly, but we fear there is little to no hope for them at this point." the message said as Captain Joekle read it in horror.

"The Netherlands needs our help! Hoist the sails! We're going to the Strait of Dover!" he said as his crew looked at him in horror. They remembered the slaughter of FFS Ruebarknerforber. They hoped they would never have to be reminded of it again.



Meanwhile, in the cold, frozen mountainous land of Tibet, word had spread of the evils of the Dutch empire.

"I feel threatened by the evil Dutch empire." was a catch phrase in Tibet. It would have been better, but Tibet didn't have the money to invest in cool catch phrases. So this would have to do.



"Hey, Jimbowowo, let's rebel against the Dutch!" said one Bali man, Kukunukumaia.

"Yes, they are far too opressive, Kukunukumaia!" Jimbowo said with a fist.

"Where will we find an army?" Kukunukumaia asked. They both looked to the sky in thought.

(Days later, with King Glenn)

"Sire! There is a rebellion in the former Kingdom of Bali!" one royal guard yelled, running into the room.

"What!? How did this happen!" King Glenn asked.

"Apparently two men started advertising it in our newspapers!" the guard replied.

"And nothing was done about this!?" yelled the king.

"Apparently, the newspaper editors were members of the rebellion as well."

"What about the police!? Why didn't they do anything!?" King Glenn screamed.

"You dont have a police force, they all joined the rebels due to lack of funding. The teachers all joined because of overfunding. The tax collecters joined because they had too much money to collect from everyone. The regular people joined because they had too much money to give to the tax collecters. We also lost prestige because we have the only economy that has managed to piss everyone in the empire off with no exceptions" the guard said.

With this, the king broke down and started crying.



"Come on men! Stand your ground!" the general was still yelling as the Dutch soldiers had dug trenches to keep the water from advancing. Sadly, these trenches flooded and the Dutch were pushed back.

"Sir! It's been months! We're all tired!" one soldeir cried.

"Quit your complaining! I haven't lost a man yet and I don't plan on it either!" the general screamed.

Just then one man who was stuck in the flooded trench drowned.

"OK... I don't plan on losing too much men!" the general said as the Dutch fell back and started digging another trench.

The way the battle was going looked grim. Despite pounding the strait with everything they had, it had only let up a couple of feet (this was due to all the flooded trenches taking up water). The general looked at his men with sorrow. Despite their best efforts the water just kept coming back for more.

(Meanwhile, with the navy)

"There our men are! They're taking one hell of a beating captain!" one sailor, Greuderhorshten von Klemingscow, screamed.

"Shut up you person with a name that sounds more German than Dutch!" the captain replied.

"German, Dutch, what's the difference!?" the sailor asked. This caused the captain to gasp in horror.

"There's a huge difference! Like... like... the way they talk!" the captain yelled.

(With the army)

"Look sir! Reinforcements!" one soldier yelled pointing to the ships coming in their direction.

"Come on men! To the reinforcements!" the general yelled as the army decided that, rather then waiting for the ships to land in a port, they would just march across a mile of water and get on the ships while they were still out at sea. Nobody knows how they did this, nobody ever will.



"Ok! We've taken this island! Now for the next one!" Jimbowowo said to his men.

"There's a problem with that... we don't have a navy!" Kukunukumaia cried.

"Whatever... let's just sit here then" Jimbowowo said.

(On the other island)

"Hey! They rebelled on that island! Let's rebel on this one too!" some native said.

So they did.



"Your great and most noble majesty!" a guard yelled running into the room.

"What now?" King Glenn asked.

"Our top scientists have just researched Late Classical Theory!" The guard said.

"Wait... what? How in Gods name do scientists research CULTURE???" King Glenn asked.

"Well, you see..." the guard trailed into a long story about clones and zombies and blood and death and the end of life as we know it.

(Hours later)

King Glenn stared in shock and horror.

"And that, your majesty, is where babies come from"

"Oh my God..." King Glenn yelled as he couldn't shake the dirty feeling he now had. "And how does that relate to how scientists can research culture!?"

"About that. Well, I have no idea" the guard shrugged and left the king. Who was twitching slightly at what he had just heard.



"Alright men! I didn't really ever pass my dramatic speech class... but we can still win without one of those! Right!?" the general yelled. This was met by a half-hearted murmer by the soldiers.

"That's alright! We're only fighting natives! You don't need to be at your best! You dont even need to be at your half best really..." the general said as they then charged the island. It was soon theirs.



All the Netherland's soldiers were on the far East side of their island. All the Rebel soldiers were on the far West side of their island. They sat there, staring.

"We'd kill you if you were closer!" the Rebels screamed.

"Nuh-uh! We could totally kill you!" the Dutch screamed back.

"We have culture!" the Rebels screamed.

"We're from Europe!" the Dutch screamed back.

"We will have books written about us a hundred years from now talking about how great we were to stand up against an evil empire like yours!" the Rebels screamed.

"We have Europe! All the good writers are from there! So in the end we'll still end up victorious!" the Dutch screamed back.

All this screaming got on the nerves of the general.

"WILL YOU BOTH JUST SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP HERE!"

"You're just a big meanie!" one soldier yelled.

This soldier was shot for his incompetance.



General Lackof Agoodname had heard about the uprisings in Bali. He and his men were soon on their way to put down the rebellion for good.

"Alright men! If not for your empire, then for me! And if not for me, then I may have to shoot you for incompetance!" the general screamed as his men screamed in either patriotism or fear. Mostly the later.



"Bali is once again ours your majesty!" a guard yelled running into the room.

"But it took over two freakin years! I want General Lackof Agoodname fired! I want a competant general!" King Glenn yelled.

So Lackof was fired. Unfortunately this was before they had found a replacement, so they just let the army go without any leader and forgot all about the problem.



Alright... that was just putting down a rebellion... next time will be much better I promise!
 

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YEAH! pwning Rebels and killing incompetent soldiers! WOOT! :rofl:
 

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Man, poor king! Finding the secrets of babies and having all those islands rebel. :rofl:
 

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Oh yes, balancing both the trouble on the continent and on the Dutch West Indies is quite troublesome. :D
 

unmerged(37096)

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Man, the battle for the straight of Dover is becoming legendary. This is the kind of stuff AAR's are written about (oh wait, that's what you are doing)

Shoots himself for incompetance
 

joebthegreat

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Wow... :cool: ... people are actually reading this...

Duke of Wellington : You must realize that what you ask of me requires me to actually do work (counting is very hard work) and as I am lazy this will likely take time... but I could keep a tally of how many soldiers got shot for incompetance at the bottom of each update :)

Yoy21 : Yes... soon the whole world (or at least 1/256th of it) will be under my command! I can feel the power now! :D

Tskb18 : Mwahahahaha! My plan is working! :cool: ... dont worry though, I can show you my underwear if you're really desperate...

anonymous4401 : Yes, well, King Glenn is feeling very emotionally scarred right now and would like to be left alone. Poor little guy :(

Michaeru : :D Especially when one of your enemies is a seemingly invincible Strait of Dover ;)

Quirinus308 : Of course... no battle that the Strait of Dover has ever been in HASN'T been a great and hard battle to be told for the ages ;)

The other fifty people that read this and like it: I know you read this and like it! Stop trying to fool me by not posting here! :(

OK people... enough winking and grinning really big... it's time to get really spiritual and serious... :eek: ... let's all just be a big happy family... I will be updating today...
 

joebthegreat

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Southeast Showdown (in theatres as soon as they start answering my phone calls)

Lackof Agoodname stormed into the palace with rage. He had just heard about his dishonourable dismissal and wanted an explanation. He was not going to be given the boot so easily.

Sadly, the guards thought he was just another Javan rebel and so they shot him on sight.

"No... why did it hav..." Lackof started.

"I hate when they start saying long dramatic speeches before they die!" one guard yelled.

"I know... It's so boring!" the other guard said, nodding in agreement.

So they stabbed Lackof before he could finish the speech.

"Why did you stab me? Are you not loyal to yo..." Lackof started on another speech.

"Grr... why can't they die quickly like all the other people! Main characters get on my nerves!" the first guard said with the second guard nodding in agreement.

"If you know I'm not a rebel then why are you still trying to kill me?" Lackof said, starting to be on his way towards death.

"Because you're ANNOYING ME" the guard yelled.

Soon Lackof's best friend, Fhund Agudnaem, stormed into the room and shot both the guards for their incompetance.

"Fhund? Is that you?" Lackof cried.

"Umm... no... It's your dear wife Brunghammie" Fhund said with a giggle.

"Oh... I never liked you, you were always so fat, and annoying. I only married you for the cake." Lackof said with a tear in his eye.

"WHAT?" Brunghammie yelled storming into the room with shock. The guards thought she was a rebel too and so they shot her. She actually died, unlike Lackof.

"It's OK Lackof, I'm here for you... you're going to make it through this" Fhund said crying.

"This isn't gay or anything is it?" Lackof asked with concern.

"Dont worry about a thing..." Fhund said.

crap... he isn't answering me directly... that must mean it is... I have to find a way out of this Lackof thought as he looked over to the side. There was a string, some candlewax, and his wife's corpse. perfect

Lackof jumped up and did an awsome backflip while spinning 360 degrees and then used the candlewax to stick his wife's corpse to the string and began swinging her around like a weapon.

"What the... THAT'S why you weren't affected by the guards shooting you! They only shot you in the leg, and the bullet only scraped your skin! When they stabbed you they only slightly cut your arm!" Fhund said examining Lackof's wounds.

"This isn't a gay thing is it?" Lackof asked.

(With King Glenn)

"Why did you fire me!" Lackof yelled with rage as he stormed into King Glenn's throne room.

"Because it took you over two years to take a small two island country and stabilize it!" King Glenn yelled.

"What would you know!? You're only seven years old!" Lackof yelled with rage.

"He is?" The royal guard asked. "I never noticed..."

"Shouldn't there be someone to watch over him until he comes of age or something?" Lackof asked with fury.

"No... wait! Don't! I don't wanna stop being king! Being king is fun!" King Glenn whined.

"You're right... we'll put the advisor on it right away!" the royal guard said.

They didn't have an advisor.

"Crap..." the royal guard said.

"I could do it!" Lackof said.

"Nah... I don't trust you..." the royal guard said.

The royal guard was shot for his incompetance.

"I'll be the person in charge guy and my first act will be to make you the general over everything in our army and navy!" Fhund said.

"But I don't wanna let him be the general!" ex-King Glenn cried.

"SHUT UP!" the two friends yelled looking at the ex-king with rage. He gulped... down some soda and then continued to look at them with innocent and yet scheming eyes.

(With the Royal Dutch Navy)

"Alright men! We will soon be going into battle with the Vietnamese people! They have more soldiers than we do, mostly due to our unwillingness to spend any money on actual soldiers! They have the advantage of the land! We still have one major advantage though! We're from Europe, and therefore have some strange ability to fight better than ten of our native counterparts!" Lackof said trying to motivate his men. "So now, it is time. Prepare to prepare for the preparation to invade Annam! Which will prepare Southeast Asia for the Netherland's preparations!"

There were hearty cries and cheers from the men, mostly begging to go home. These crys were ignored.



"We declare war on you!" the diplomat stuck in a cage yelled while pointing in the general direction of Annam.

"That's a good little boy" Lackof said while patting the diplomat on the head.

"Could you at least show some respect and not keep me in a cage all the time!?" the diplomat asked looking up at Lackof.

The diplomat was shot for his incompetance. Lackof soon realized what this meant and cried for hours at what he had done.

The Dutch soldiers charged the mainland with everything they had. They expected resistance. They obviously had never been colonizing before.



"Let's show these Europeans that Javan soldiers can fight too!" the Javan general yelled.

"Nah... we'd rather not..." one soldier said.

This soldier was speared for his incompetance.

"Come on men! If not for your empire, then for the fact that I'm making lots of money being your general!" the general yelled as the Javans stumbled forward, tripping and stumbling occationally.



"Hatien is ours men!" Lackof yelled, drinking some liquor in celebration.

"Can we go home now?" one soldier asked.

This soldier was shot for his incompetance.

"Of course not! We still have all of Southeast Asia to conquer!" Lackof yelled.

"Aww..." the army said with a groan.



"Alright! The Dutch soldiers will march north and capture the capital of Cambodia! The natives will go west and have fun doing whatever! Are we clear!?" Lackof yelled.

"Sir! Somewhat good enough! Sir!" the army chanted.

"Move out!" Lackof yelled as everyone started marching towards their destination.

So they did.

The first group to reach Cambodia's capitol was one divition with little over 8000 men. They were going against 10000 dug in Cambodians in the nations capitol. The head officer of the army marched to the front of his troops.

"Surrender to the supperior Dutch empire! We have you surrounded!" the officer screamed.

After a brief pause, while the Cambodians looked around, their general replied.

"No you don't!" the Cambodian yelled.

The Dutch soldiers looked to their general in confusion.

While this was going on the Cambodians moved and surrounded the Dutch. They had nowhere to run.

"This is your last warning! We have you surrounded and are not scared to use force!" the Dutch general yelled.

"Alright! I give up!" the Cambodian yelled as his men all came out of their extremely well placed hiding places and well fortified trenches to surrender to the enemy.

"NOT!" the Cambodian general yelled as his men then attacked. The Cambodian soldiers were caught off guard by this as they thought they were actually surrendering. Almost all of the Cambodians were slaughtered and the rest were forced to run.

"HAHAHA! WASN'T THAT FUNNY!?" the Cambodian general giggled as the Dutch general walked up to him.

"Surrender now! We have you surrounded!" the Dutch general shouted.

Just then Lackof and his army reached the battle, just in time to notice that all the Cambodians had run away.

"What happened here!?" Lackof screamed. "I wanted to fight some of them too!" Lackof cried. His life was so miserable.





"Hey! Remember that time the Bali people rebelled when the Netherlands had no chance to stop them and were crushed!" Jokokwo Mokokieto said, talking to a good friend of his.

"Yeah!" his friend answered.

"Well, let's try that again! Only this time, they will have a navy and soldiers within striking distance! And we'll do it with far less men!" Jokokwo said.

"You're so smart!" his friend answered.



"We're going to have to send the natives to stop the revolt!" Lackof said looking at his situation.

"It's alright sir! Natives suck at fighting everything BUT revolts!" said one soldier.

"Hey! You're right! You're actually competant! This is amazing!" Lackof said pointing at the soldier with amazement.

"It isn't nice to point sir..." the soldier said.

This soldier was shot for his incompetance.



"Come on men! Let's prove to the world that Java would make for a great hot drink!" the general yelled as his men cheered. They soon charged the beach of Johor as the rebels waited to meet them.

"Hey there! We're the rebels... yeah... wanna go eat lunch or something?" the rebels asked going to shake the Javan hands.

The Javans killed all the rebels.

"We just wanted to be friends..." one rebel cried.

"Then why were you rebelling?" the Javan general asked.

"We thought it would be a cool way to meet new friends!" the rebel said.

"What kind of crap is this?" The Javan general yelled.

"They have a point you know... you didn't have to be so mean..." one man from the UK said. "In fact... this makes my country hate you even more!"

"Your country already hates us with a passion, so screw you!" the Javan general yelled.

"Aww... that wasn't nice at all..." the man from the UK said shaking his head in sorrow.

Just then a Frenchman popped out of the shadows. "VIVA LA REVELUTIO... nah you know what just screw it... I ain't dying out here for some stupid cause " he said and left. Sadly, the Javan training instinct kicked in when the Frenchman walked onto the scene and every enemy was completely and totally destroyed.



"Cambodia has been fully annexed sire!" a royal guard yelled while running into the room.

"Excelent..." ex-King Glenn said scheming to himself.

"Shut up you little snot! Excelent!" Fhund yelled. "I want today to be a national holiday!"

"It already is sire... it's April fools day... APRIL FOOLS!" the royal guard yelled while laughing. King Glenn started to laugh at the joke too. Fhund just sat there, rage building inside him.

"Sire? Is something wrong?" the royal guard asked.

This royal guard was shot for his incompetance.



7 times someone was shot for incompetance this update! And once someone was speared!

(Sorry for ignoring the Strait of Dover... but all our recourses are in SE Asia and we can't afford a two front war...)

I did this at 4 AM... expect mistakes... lots of them...
 

unmerged(17581)

AARlander
Jun 12, 2003
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A lot of incompetence indeed!
 

unmerged(37096)

Lt. General
Dec 21, 2004
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Yes, this must be the most incompetant AAR ever :rofl:

Just joking of course ;)
 

joebthegreat

Practitioner of "Calm Rage"
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May 13, 2006
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Alright... incompetance is slowly but surely being destroyed... soon we shall have an army that knows how to do things properly!

Duke of Wellington : Yes... we will kill every last incompetant soldier in our army! With the ammount of incompetance that is this will make the number one cause of death in Annam getting shot for incompetance.

anonymous4401 : Yes... but have no fear! We shall overcome!

Quirinus308 : Ye... HEY! :mad: ... anyway... thanks for posting! :D

Lurkers: You can come out of the shadows... it's alright... I wont bite... :D

Expect an update by the end of the year...