So. I have done even more digging. I no longer believe the problem is the game, at least it's not just the game. At least for me, on a i9-13900k, the issue is a combination of the AVX commands being called by the game which is pushing these CPUs harder in ways that they have not before, modern motherboards from Asus (and possibly MSI and others) helpfully optimizing the CPU for you by undervolting it (sometimes drastically), and the system being overly optimistic about how well the CPU being able to perform at high clocks with multiple cores at these settings.
I now have a stable setup for Victoria 3 and my i9-13900k which allows me to play for literally hours without a crash while also not being hot as hell. I am as shocked you are.
First, the motherboard: I noticed that my Asus motherboard (Z790-P Wifi) had SVID Behavior set to Auto by default. This setting runs the CPU over 0.2 volts lower than when setting it to Intel fail safe default. It was a diference between 1.64v for the Intel default and 1.38v or so for Auto. This is a pretty strong undervolt! I ended up using Worse Case Scenario settings which put the CPU at 1.47v. I really wanted to make this work as otherwise, left at these dafaults, the CPU would both thermal and power throttle when running something similar like the Intel XTU benchmark, eating 300-305W. With the Worse Case Scenario setting running around 1.47v, my CPU tends to run around 240-250W in the same benchmark.
Second, the CPU settings: I used Intel XTU for this part, as it allowed me to tune to my CPU. What became apparent after multiple stress tests is the CPU cannot handle this undervolted setting while running all the core at full bore. The default settings assumed that it could handle 5.5Ghz on all 8 P Cores and 4.3Ghz on all 16 E Cores at the same time for a period of over a minute. Well, it cannot. Esepcially true when AVX workloads are added the mix. I attached a screenshot of the tweaks I did in XTU for my processor. In short, I created as curve to lower the clock speed as more cores were enabled, and I did this for both the P and E cores. This has allowed me to run longer (5+ minute) stress tests for both regular and AVX workloads and prevent thermal throttle. This is important, as the AVX workload runs the CPU harder, pulling more power and causing more heat... and crashes. I am also using a strong AVX offset of 10. It's probably aggressive but its stable for me and with it and the core changes I can run a 6 minute long AVX stress test with no crashes and no thermal thottling. If you have a better CPU cooler and/or you do not mind some occasional thermal throttling, you could probably more the core ratios up when multiple cores are called.
With these settings I have a CPU which still turbos when I need it to turbo, a CPU that pulls much less wattage and generates much less heat, and most importantly for this forum allowed me to play Victoria 1.5.10 without crashing every 5-10 minutes.
You would need to play around in XTU to see what is stable for your CPU. Unless your CPU has absolutely won the silicon lottery, I am betting it is almost impossible to overclock these CPUs and also have stable game.