• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

unmerged(53496)

First Lieutenant
Feb 1, 2006
226
0
(with sincere apologies to Alf M. Landon, his friends and family)

Howdy.

I'm Al 'Alligator' Landon. I'm the new President of these here United Statues of Aymerica. I won the job off Frankie D. I hear he's off to Hollywood, for his retirement. He's gonna Relax.

This is me:


Now what in tarnation? Pig-headed Iso-what-shunist? Just 'cos I think we should keep Aymerica for Aymericans and leave the rest of the world to those there foreign types, that's not reason to be callin' me names!

Anyways, those uptight types what help me run things have sat me down in front of this here calculatin' engine with it's cinematographic display. It's right fancy, I gotta say. Apparently I can use it to run the country! Who'd a thought it?

These here bar-thingies tell me what politics in Aymerica are like:


Looks complicated. I think I'll leave those alone until I'm sure what I'm doin' with 'em.

And this here is our foreign relations (not the sort like Aunt Chachinka from the old country, son):


We got lots of them non-aggression treaties. Well that's good. I'm a laid back sort of guy.

Frankie D sure did have a lot of things he wanted buildin'. I don't right now how I'll finish 'em all. But at least he wanted lots of factories. That's good. I like factories.


He also ordered a buncha soldiers and some planes. I'm not sure why. We got soldiers and planes and ships already. Still, I guess he had somethin' in mind for 'em, so I'll let 'em run. Don't figure we'll need no more, though.

In addition to buildin' stuff, Frankie had some boffin types learnin' about new stuff to build. Frankie was one smart cookie, I tell ya. Kinda makes you wonder how I won the election.

Two words: dyslexic clerks.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Boffins. I'm sure this stuff'll come in useful one day.


Wow. Frankie sure had a lot of fightin' type stuff in mind didn't he? Almost like he thought he was gonna need it.

Naaaaah.

Maybe he was just worried about this little ol' barfight:



Seems the orange guys and the pale yellow guys are fightin' about what to call their country. I like the orange guys. They're Republicans. I'm a Republican too, so that makes us buddies.

Not that I'm gonna get involved, of course. No sir. Not the Alligator. Aymerica won't get dragged into any wars on my watch!


Game Notes
I let the computer run the US from 1 Jan 36 to 1 Nov 36 while I vacationed in the Dominican Republic. Then I took over the US.

Vanilla HOI2. SMEP 5.0beta. DAIM. Hard/Aggressive. Silliness.

Arbitrary rules:
Until I get my first gear up, I can't:
- add any new units to the build queue (though I must finish any orders started by the computer)
- disband any units
- make manual slider changes (changes from events are fine)

After the 1st gear up, I can:
- build ships and planes
- make manual slider changes
- still not build land units, or disband any units

After the 2nd gear up, I can:
- do anything I like
 

Mico94

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cool, i'm in *subscribed*
 

caffran

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i'm a here too boy!!

great stuff!:rofl:


later, caff
 

Nathan Madien

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Paradox gave Frank Knox a weird picture.

Other that that, this AAR tickles me. I think Landon's friends are all dead, so you should be safe.
 

Raaritsgozilla

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Looks good to me, I'm in
 

unmerged(9046)

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Interesting start. I though Al was from Kansas but he sounds more like H. Long!

Good luck on this one.
 

unmerged(64529)

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I love it so far. This should be great! :D
 

Chamboozer

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Frankie D sure did have a lot of things he wanted buildin'. I don't right now how I'll finish 'em all. But at least he wanted lots of factories. That's good. I like factories.
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Subscribed :D
 

El Pip

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I won the job off Frankie D. I hear he's off to Hollywood, for his retirement. He's gonna Relax.
You had me at this line. :D
 

unmerged(53496)

First Lieutenant
Feb 1, 2006
226
0
Howdy folks, and welcome back to Al's House of Ribs!

Wait, that was my previous career.

Now I'm in charge of Aymerica, that fine and mighty nation. Not all nations are so lucky as mine. Why, those Spanish fellas are still beatin' on each other somethin' fierce. Looks like the orange guys are winnin'.



Mind you, the pale yellow guys ain't outta the dance yet.

Ya put yer left leg in …



Ya pull yer left leg out …



Ya put yer right leg in …



Ya pull yer right leg out …



What do they call that dance again? The tango, or somethin'?

Whatever it's called, it had one of those infectious beats that just makes you want to jump up and join in. Or at least, I guess that's what happened to ol' Hirohito and Co.



Though for a while there it seemed like the Japanese had forgotten the steps …



… but actually, it was just that they were planning a cunning move. Sneaky one, ol' Hirohito!



The old Amphibious Stab in the Back! That's an alligator trick, too. Sneaky beasts, Alligators. Gotta watch out for them. And for Japanese invasion fleets.

I guess maybe that's why ol' Frankie D wanted all those soldiers. All our Beaches are completely safe. Not even Bette Midler could sneak onto 'em, now!



Still plenty goin' on in China …





Maybe the Spanish lines will be as dynamic?



Guess not … maybe they're all on siesta.


Game Notes
And that was 1937. I didn't have much to do but watch the two wars … I just let the existing unit builds run to completion and set off some more factories in their place. Al likes factories, remember.
 

Myth

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This is a bit silly, but good. I like how blunt yet naive Al is with everything. :D
 

Nathan Madien

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Perhaps Al's House of Ribs can open a chain of beach resturants. Gotta feed all those soldiers somehow.
 

unmerged(53496)

First Lieutenant
Feb 1, 2006
226
0
Welcome back, folks! I'm Al Landon, and I'll be your President today (and for the next seven years, polls willin').

The surgin' Japanese tide (and I don't mean the laundry detergent) seems to have been turned back in Southern China, at least for now.



Meanwhile, over in Europe, the search is on for Austria, which seems to have gone missin'.

Now you see it ...



Now you don't!



Now just how does that fella with the funny little moustache do that? Where's my "instant annexation" button? My country's bigger than his! I wanna annex Canada!

No? How about Luxembourg, then? No-one would miss Luxembourg, right?

Still no? Darn it.

Speakin' o' disappointments, things were still lookin' pretty good in China ...



... but them dang Japs and their boats are just too clever for words! Sneaky sons o' ... well, there may be ladies present, so I won't say any more.





Folks here in Aymerica got right annoyed about Nanjing fallin', I tell ya! I don't understand the fuss, myself. What's Nanjing ever given us? There's no Nanjing Duck or Nanjing Chicken!

Chiang's Chinese keep on fightin'. Ya gotta admire their pluck.

Mmm, pluck. Szechuan Chicken ...

... where was I? Oh yeah. Chinese resistance continued! Go Chiang! Go Chiang! We know he's the good guys because the Chinese are Coolies.







But the weight of Japanese attacks was slowly grindin' down the noble Chinese. They set themselves up a puppet state.



Mengkooky? What kinda name is Mengkooky? Sounds like some bohunk town in Delaware ...

Looks like Japan has about half o' China in its grasp. Guess those folks'll all need to learn to cook Teriyaki.



Gee, things sure are busy over in Asia. With all that activity over there, I guess somethin' new musta happened in Spain by now, too?



Guess not.

Games Notes
I continue to do not much of anything. Except build factories. They're like an addiction :)

My experience of the Spanish Civil War in SMEP5.0 is that Nat Spain either collapses completely, or ends up hemmed into a couple of provinces and the front lines just stay static for years … just like happened here. I think, before I start my next game, that I'll try tweaking the event a bit.