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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

DingoWalley

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URealms Theme Song (Recommended you play before reading)


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The small town of Hy, located right on the edge of the Silverflats and the Gnomish Mountains, is a small desert city mainly home to free Porcs. Like any small town, it has an Inn and a Smith Shop. The pride of Hy, however, is one of the most renowned Dive Taverns in the Silverflats known as 'El Desperado'. Bandits, Thieves, Scalawags and non-Criminal patrons from all over the world come to El Desperado to enjoy good food and good drink. El Desperado also allows for live entertainment, as their stage has had numerous Bards that have gone on to do great things, like winning the Battle of the Bard competitions.

Our adventure begins here, in the early hours of the Day. The Bar has just been opened and already a large number of patrons have entered. Our heroes shall enter the Tavern, and on this day, they will encounter a person who has a job for them, at his Benefactors' Request...

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CHARACTER SHEETS:
Abertholl Barsnik - Hill Dwarf Bard - iisbroke
'King' Claud - Seaswagger Kobold Bandito - Luftwafer
Sus McScrof - Bloodtusk Porc Bandito - Noco19 (Resigned)/Gen. Marshall
Marcia Lucas of House Bush - Nobleborn Elven Booty Raider - Ironhide G1
Thaepher Mondcyn - Tall Dwarf Bandito - Canadian_95_RTS
Isengrim - Cygmy Gnome Cabalist - Haresus
Penn Lynx - Triton Ground Kobold Swashbuckler - Corman50
Elunir Carassion - Spellblade Elf Wrestler - Gorganslayer
 
Last edited:

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And so our story begins, early in the day, at the famous Tavern of El Desperado. Inside, numerous patrons are talking and consuming Alcohol of all sorts. Our heroes will enter this tavern one at a time, and interact with these patrons.

Currently, all of the characters are out of Combat.
 

iisbroke

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Abertholl walks through the door strumming his lute. I waner if there be any good loot to be had? His eyes dance across the room as the cool air flowed past him from outside.

((I'd like to use the story trait to see if there is anything else I know about the room. If I can't do that yet don't worry I'll think of some other ice breaker than a story))
 

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Abertholl walks through the door strumming his lute. I waner if there be any good loot to be had? His eyes dance across the room as the cool air flowed past him from outside.

((I'd like to use the story trait to see if there is anything else I know about the room. If I can't do that yet don't worry I'll think of some other ice breaker than a story))
((You can absolutely use Story Time right now, but remember that it's limited and technically you aren't allied with any Bandito yet, so doing this means you won't be able to do this again until then. If you don't wanna do this because of it, that's fine, but I'm still going to make a post based on what you said here. :) ))

Abertholl Barsnik enters El Desperado.


No one really pays attention, although a few Goblins near by look over their shoulder just to see what entered the tavern. Abertholl then cast Story Time, using 0 stamina to cast it due to his Oaken Staff.


It is a successful casting. ((Alright, if you do want to do Story Time, then I need a story about your character. Nothing to fancy, but something entertaining at least.))
 

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Abertholl climbs up onto the nearest table and begins to strum his instrument. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH. . . dere once was a dwarf on a wharf. Got to to drinkin and stinkin and trippin and sinkin. Rushing in the water waves in the Sea of Faives. Found himself on a rock saved by a mermaid who sucked his. OOOOHHHHHHH. . . den he bid goodbye and went to lie off in a tavern hall, that's tale of Abertholl."

((The information on a combat encounter I want is, what would cause one here once the group sets up. Incase that'll be funny enough for Abertholl to do.))
 

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Abertholl climbs up onto the nearest table and begins to strum his instrument. "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH. . . dere once was a dwarf on a wharf. Got to to drinkin and stinkin and trippin and sinkin. Rushing in the water waves in the Sea of Faives. Found himself on a rock saved by a mermaid who sucked his. OOOOHHHHHHH. . . den he bid goodbye and went to lie off in a tavern hall, that's tale of Abertholl."

((The information on a combat encounter I want is, what would cause one here once the group sets up. Incase that'll be funny enough for Abertholl to do.))
Abertholl climbs onto the nearest table and performs a little song with his lute.


Although it gets the bar patrons attention, only the big Porc claps. A couple of the Goblins boo at Abertholl, and one of them says "You suck! Get off the Table!" However, Abertholl does learn that angering the Bar Patrons off enough will definitely start a combat encounter, but since it'd be a lot of Porcs and Goblins against a Hill Dwarf would prove suicidal. A Porc in a Dress and Make up comes up to Abertholl.


"Excuse me, sir," she says in a standard Porc voice (goofy and deep), "but uhhh, we're gonna need you to not climb on the furniture, okay? I mean, my dad paid a lot for these Tables, and, we don't want the customers to start ruining them with their feet."
 

iisbroke

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"O'course lassy" Abertholl climbs down but keeps strumming the instrument.
 

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"O'course lassy" Abertholl climbs down but keeps strumming the instrument.
Abertholl climbs off the table.


"Thank you," the Porc lady says. "I'll be with you in a moment, I gotta finish getting the orders for those stupid Goblins." Then she goes back to the Goblin table.


((Alright, I think now another character of ours can enter while Abertholl continues to do his own stuff.))
 

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((Plans to go to the really big porc and ask if the broken chastity belt is his daughters' or just slap a goblin in the face with it. Eventually <.< I'll leave that OOC up to the rest of the party XD))
 

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I enter the building, looking fantastic and then go over to the bar.

"Matey, give me some of that Booze!"
 

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I enter the building, looking fantastic and then go over to the bar.

"Matey, give me some of that Booze!"
King Claud enters the bar.


Immediately, he runs over to the bar and demands alchohol from the Porc behind the counter.


"Oh, absolutely, sir!" The Porc says, gruff and confident as he cleans a mug in his hands. "What can I get ya?"
 

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"Bring me your finest Whiskey!"

Turning to the others at the bar
"What do you fine fellows want?"
 

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"Bring me your finest Whiskey!"

Turning to the others at the bar
"What do you fine fellows want?"
Claud demands the finest of Whiskeys from the Porc Bartender. "You got it, sir!" And then he goes to look for the Whiskey. Turning to the Kobold next to him, he asks what they want.

"Ay," the other Kobold says in a very gruff voice with a Seadog accent, "That be real swell of ya to buy me and my comrade, Burrito here, a drink! We'll take what yer drinkin'!" Then he gives a bit of a laugh.

((I just realized you have no gold, Luftwafer, I don't know how you're going to afford this drink. :D))
 

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((I get that reference))
Add it to my tab, I'll pay it before I leave!
A man like me can afford these things
 

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((This looks fun, but how does it work? I gather we're supposed to make a character sheet, somewhere?))
 

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((I get that reference))
Add it to my tab, I'll pay it before I leave!
A man like me can afford these things
((I knew you'd know most of the Characters here. :) ))

"Oooh," the Pirate Kobold says when Claud says that, looking at Burrito. "We got us a fancy pants Kobold 'ere, don't we Burrito?"

"Yes we do, Captain!" Burrito the Porc says. "Sorry, pal, but everyone from 'round these parts, everyone knows that the El Desperado doesn't take Credit. You just gave away that you're new to Hy. You're gonna be eaten alive!"

"Ah, go easy on him," The Pirate Kobold says to Burrito, "He clearly ain't one to be triffled with, what with all of 'em scars, and his peg leg. I'll do the generous thing and pay for the Whiskey."

The Porc Bartender comes back and unveils a bottle of Whispey Whiskey, and before he says anything, the Pirate Kobold slaps 500 gold on the Bar. "Oh," the Porc says confused, "I thought this Kobold was paying for it?"

"Oh," the Pirate Kobold says, "He's a little light on change at the moment, Mormo. I be payin' for this round."

The Porc Bartender shrugs and gives them the Whiskey.

"That was awful nice of you to buy us all drinks, Captain," Burrito says with a dumb smile.

"Ay, it was, lad." Then the Pirate Kobold turns to Claud. "Ye say ye can afford these things, ey?"

((This looks fun, but how does it work? I gather we're supposed to make a character sheet, somewhere?))
((I'm sorry to inform you, but sign ups have sadly been closed for 2 weeks. I promise to keep you in mind when the next campaign starts. Until then, enjoy the read. :D))
 

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((I'm sorry to inform you, but sign ups have sadly been closed for 2 weeks. I promise to keep you in mind when the next campaign starts. Until then, enjoy the read. :D))
((Aw, damn. Yeah, I'll make sure to enjoy the read instead
))
 

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(Well as we all know from the apocrypha lore I just made up, dwarves like to fight, and bard's are notorious pranksters.)
Abertholl shall execute plan Why Not?
 

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"Ay me ladie! I can indeed."

"I propose a toast!
To freedom, to brotherhood and to get absolutely Rekt on Whiskey"
 

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"Ay me ladie! I can indeed."

"I propose a toast!
To freedom, to brotherhood and to get absolutely Rekt on Whiskey"
"Sounds good to me!" Burrito says happily as he raises his glass.

"Ay lad! A Toast! Freedom, Brotherhood, A Good Drink... And to Brighter tomorrow's, ay?!" The Pirate Kobold pours the Whiskey into all of their glasses and all three of them drink. The effects of this Whiskey will be made apparent in Combat.

(Well as we all know from the apocrypha lore I just made up, dwarves like to fight, and bard's are notorious pranksters.)
Abertholl shall execute plan Why Not?
((Wow, okay. If Abertholl somehow survives this, he's getting a very specific trait.))

Abertholl, angered by the insults from the Goblins, goes over to their table. The Goblins, too inebriated to focus, don't pay much attention.


He notices that most of the Goblins are Greenskin and Hobgoblins, but the Goblin he's currently behind is a Female Piggerback Goblin. He also notices the Goblin next to her appears to be a Gobolf. Regardless, he wants to teach these Goblins a lesson, and so he takes out the Broken Chastity Belt he has, and slaps it over the back of her head.



His aim is slightly off, and he just barely touches the back of her bonnet. The Gobolf next to him immediately notices Abertholl do this, and then Abertholl asks if the belt is hers or her mothers. "What the hell are you doing, Dwarf?!" The Gobolf yells in a raspy, soft voice.