Davisx3m

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-Wrangel, my dear dear Wrangel, how are you
-Pretty much well sir. You?
-Ah, never better. I feel like a 15 year old boy ready to lose his virginity
-If i didnt know better id say you were still a virgin
-Hahahahaha, good one Wrangel. You were always one of my favorite colleagues. So full of passion, and fire in your eyes
-Yes...well...
-Just the kind of man this country wants for a prime minister
-REALLY???I mean...do tell
-And that is why i appointed a new prime minister-patriarch Vladimirov Vladoschevoschevich
-Oh you shoudnt...YOU APPOINTED WHO???

:rofl:
 

Crush3r

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Stefke said:
-Ok. By the way would you like to have dinner with me toghnight at 8 o' clock, just the two us, we could
-NO NO NO...i mean no sir i have plans toghnight

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

Stefke

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Chapter 4: Inspecting the troops!

In the base of the 1. Severnaya Armiya gen. Wrangel, the commander of the STAVKA and his loyal lackey gen. Vlassov were inspecting the combat readiness of the troops of this army

-And then i said to that pig-NOW YOU WILL SEE HOW IT IS TO BE LOCKED WITH PIGS!!!
-Hahahaha, nice one oh great lord
-Yes...i seriously love taking revenge. Further more with the Zemstva working again these kind of emperors will not be a problem. It was a good idea...but i would have done the same thing
-Indeed, your greatness
-Ok, it is time to inspect these troops

Wrangel and Vlassov stepped in front of the 1. Severnaya Armiya. There were about 500 badly dressed and equiped soldiers, some of them drunk

-THIS IS IT? 500 SOLDIERS???
-Well *hick*, said someone, most of them have either deserted, or are in the village partying but *hick* we have been under...under...*hick*...there are not many of anyways
-So how many of you are there?
-1500
-So you mean to tell me that 1000 soldiers are either drunk, or have deserted?
-We, *hick* like to call them missing in action
-Oh my god...this is so bad...well OK now what i want to do is to test your combat readiness. I am going to ask you some very simple questions and you will answear me, one by one. OK so first question:what do you do when you recive an attacking order

Silence

-Disobey it
-How can you disobey a direct order from the high staff
-Well we dont wanna die in the army dont we?
-Then why are you here?
-Party 24/7!!!
-Oh my lord, NO NO NO NOOO. You are here to obey and to die for you motherland. Ok next question:what do you do if you are attacked
-Retreat?
-Let us say you are surrounded
-We surrender?
-The enemy does not take prisoners
-We ask them to spare our lives really really nicely
-They dont want to
-We offer our selfs as slaves
-THEY ARE NOT GAY!!!
-Are you sure we cant retreat?
-OH MY GOD, YOU DEFEND YOURSELFS. Ok, ok next question. What is your rifle?
-A backscratcher?
-Good answear!, said Vlassov

Wrangel, irritated, slaps Vlassov

-Ever thought of firing it?
-A rifle that fires? HAHAHAHAHA. I havent seen that one like in 20 years
-Dear god, why are you punishing me? Ok now for some theory. Get into your combat positions
-Whats that
-Just stand in a line. Ok now you are gonna rush that house and established a defensive position after that
-Do we have to?
-Yes, now go

The soldiers stare at him

-There is beer inside the house

The soldiers rush the house like an angry mob. After 1 minutes of searching they do find beer and start opening it and drinking it. They also find Vodka inside and somebody goes to the barracks and brings even more drinking material. The soldiers then start to fight among each other for alcohol

-Oh god this is hopeless. I am calling it a day and i am going back to Moscow to present my report to Denikin, if he isnt too busy, which i doubt. Come on Vlassov and...VLASSOV NO BEAR FOR YOU
-Awwww...no fair
-This isnt fair at all. I should be ruling Russia but never mind. Let us go now to Moscow. We have to overthrow Vladimirov in any case. I have a cunning plan my dear lackey...
 
Last edited:

Davisx3m

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Haha great!!! :rofl: :rofl:
 

Crush3r

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

4th Dimension

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Crush3r said:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Then I shall: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
AHA
 

unmerged(87183)

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Nice updates.
:rofl:​
 

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Maj. von Mauser said:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


Nice updates.
:rofl:​
Curse your mass production ability!
 

Stefke

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Chapter 5: Consolidation of powaaaah

Peter Wrangel and his loyal lackey Andrei Vlassov have just walked into the caffe "Tsarevich" where the prime minister and the patriarch Vladimirov Vladoschevoschevich was having a private party. Alcohol, plenty of food and of course, ladies to rent for a night were all present here at this private party. Wrangel was apparantly disgusted (while Vlassov on the other hand was distracted), but he knew he had to do this

-Ok Andrei, nobody must see us. We have to get a good position and use this camera to take a picture of the patriarch in his obesity
-But wont people hear the camera and see the flash
-No because the music is too loud and everybody is distracted. Besides this is the newest model
-If you say so
-Ok let us go there, behind those flowers, that is a perfect position. Remember, the patriarch cannot see us, nor anyone else from the goverment
-So why did we then tell our names to the security?
-Dont worry Vlassov. The security are my kind of people. They respect me and know my rightfull intentions and want me to rule Russia as well. Besides, i just bribed them
-Very good, oh great and smart one
-OK, i am going to take a picture. I have a clear shot...

Wrangel prepares to take a picture but the camera malfunctions and makes a small bang. Wrangel drops the camera and lets out a scream. The patriarch sees him

-WELL WELL WELL IF ISNT PETER WRANGEL???
-Erm...yes prime minister
-What are you doing here, Peter? I dont remember inviting you
-We are...well the official cameraman who was supposed to take pictures got sick so...me and Andrei...you know how much we love cameras
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, you are so funny Peter. Come here, sit down, have a drink or two. This girl here thinks you are cute

One of the girls who was with the prime minister winks at Wrangel. Wrangel is tempted, but he focuses on his main goal. Vlassovs fascination with the half-naked girls could be clearly seen and Wrangel slaps Vlassov so he could fix the problem, as he is not fascinating neither the girls, nor anyone else

-No, no thank you...we are here on official duty. May I...take a picture of you and the girls
-Certainly
-Vlassov, hand me my camera we brought in case the German one fails. Ok everybody ready. Say-FOROURGREATMOTHERLAND!!!
-What?

*click*

-That was great, prime minister. Now could you...wrap your arms around the girls
-Certainly

*click*

-That was great, but could you start kissing now with each other
-Why not

*click*

-Now...

But the prime minister and the girls start losing themselfs

-Perfect!

*click* *click* *click*

-OK great, thank you for you time. Come on Vlassov, let us...NO VLASSOV YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THAT LADY, COME ON
-Awww...i never get to have fun
-That is because you are a henchmen, my dear Vlassov

The next day at the presidential office Wrangel and Vlassov were showing pictures to Denikin

-This is a discrace...THIS IS A DISCRACE!
-I know sir
-A prime minister, behaving like this!
-I know sir
-Throwing wild parties!
-Indeed sir
-And not inviting me! I love wild parties
-Yes and may I...You what???
-I must talk to him to have me invited. This place is begging for me! I have even rehearsed new dance moves. Check me out, I AM A SIZZLING VOLCANO AND I NEEDS TO BURN UP SOME LAVA
-NOO NOON NONOO...i mean no thank you sir, i am aware of your dancing capabilities
-You are? Then you must come with us toghnight on that Vladimirov's rave, we could...
-NOOOOOOOO...i mean no sir, i am planning to listen to the World Cup finals, Russia and Germany are playing
-Well suit yourself party-pooper. Now i have to find Vladimirov and...
-Wait...before you you go I must tell you something
-What
-Vladimirov...is planning to use goverment funding to buy himself a huge mansion!
-I dont care! I cant wait to see it!
-Vladimirov...is using goverment funding to finance his life costs
-I dont care
-He is planning to make soldiers wear pink uniforms
-HE IS?
-(Wrangel,in himself: I should have known better)
-Well...Vladimirov is planning to give church ultimate authority in the state...more authority than you
-BUT...BUT...THAT IS OUTRAGES!!! NO ONE WILL HAVE MORE POWER THAN ME!!! THAT IS IT, HE IS SACKED FROM HIS POSITION AND AS PATRIARCH AND HE IS UNDER ARREST!!!
-Good choice sir
-Thank you for informing me Wrangel. I owe you. And the new prime minister must be someone who i can trust...like you
-Really? Oh, sir
-And that is why I myself shall be the prime minister again

Wrangel bangs his head on the wall

-That is nice...well...we must be going...have a nice weekend

Wrangel and Vlassov leave the presidential office

-Well...that didnt go as i planned but still it got the job done
-Well my lord...what now
-We got rid of the priest but now we have to try to get rid of Denikin. He has a grip on the whole country and the army. The army is the key. We have to get control over it my dear henchmen
 

Davisx3m

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-This is a discrace...THIS IS A DISCRACE!
-I know sir
-A prime minister, behaving like this!
-I know sir
-Throwing wild parties!
-Indeed sir
-And not inviting me! I love wild parties
-Yes and may I...You what???

:rofl: :rofl:
 

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They have more hope of seizing power by making a NEW army than seizing the old Vodka Army.
 

Crush3r

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Bah, he should have just claimed Alaska as New Russia, armed 100 civilians and conquered Russia and it's Vodka Army. :D
 

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Crush3r said:
Bah, he should have just claimed Alaska as New Russia, armed 100 civilians and conquered Russia and it's Vodka Army. :D
Yup, make that objective no 2. bring back Alaska into the warm embrace of the motherland.
 

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YAY slavic colony in america :D
some slavic brethers in america yay :D
when i learn russian i go to hmh "amyerika" hehehe
 

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Stefke said:
-OK great, thank you for you time. Come on Vlassov, let us...NO VLASSOV YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH THAT LADY, COME ON
-Awww...i never get to have fun
-That is because you are a henchmen, my dear Vlassov

LOL! :D
 

Stefke

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Chapter 6: A night of relaxation

Peter Wrangel and his loayl henchmen, Andrei Vlassov were sitting in front of a radio on a quiet Moscow night

-So, whats on the agenda for today, oh most cruel one?
-Actually...nothing...we are gonna stay home and listen to the finals of the 1936 football european cup
-Do I have to listen
-Well you can...or you could go to that dinner Denikin invited us
-GO RUSSIA, LET US CRUSH THE GERMANS!!!
-Thats the spirit. Oh, here it begins

Ladies and gentleman welcome to radio Moscow's broadcast of the European cup finals betwen Germany and Russia. After the World Cup started in 1930 now finally this year the first European cup was organized thanks to a German initiative and the host city of Berlin really showed himself. Today it is going to be a close game, The German "Panzers" will try to beat our "Zbornaya Komanda" and we hope they wont succed! The Germans managed to beat Poland, France, Belgium , Netherlands. They were however held to draw against the UK while our team struggled in this competition, mainly we mean on the game vs. Finland but we managed to reach the finals and that is what counts! Germany has many great players like Hans Beznogowski, Dieter Bezmozowski, Arthur Krivonogowski and Markus Jarnogowski. And as we await for the refferies to signal the beggining of the match let us just mention that there are at least 30.000 spectators on the stadium. The refferies are from Austria and they have been appointed a day before the game since the Brazillian 4 who were supposed to lead the match suffered mysterious injuries after they had a few misfortunate accidents. AND THE GAME KICKS OFF, we shall see who will be crowned the first champion of Europe, this is certainly a huge must for Germany to win...and it seems Germany got its first corner kick. The biggest threat to our goal is the forward Dieter Bezmogowski, who is 2 meters tall and he is covered by our best player and defender Peter Maryevich. Germany takes the corner...AND ITS AN OWN GOAL! What a mistake by young Kerezutski who tried to get the ball out with a header but got it wrong completly and Germany leads by 1-0. Well its seems we will have alot of problems here in the game, now we lead the attack, its a fierce attack, the Germans are trying to put up a good defence but it seems there will be alot of problems...now our forward Makarevski has the ball, he shoots...AND HITS THE POST UNBELIVABLE but our second forward Korayevski has the ball, shoots but a great save by the German goalkeeper...wait now let us see why our team is rejoicing and heading back...ITS 1-1 UNBELIVABLE! WE EQUALISED OH WHAT A GREAT PLAY AND AN EXICTING GAME WE HAVE HERE. Hey you, kid, get out of my way i cant see a thing for christs sake. Germany kicks off, they have an attack, they are trying to get something here but all they get is a corner kick. Again Germany takes the corner...AND I DONT BELIVE IT, KEREZUTSKI SCORED AN OWN GOAL AGAIN, oh what a poor play by Kerezutski, its 1-2 for Germany. Russia kicks off again, again we have a great attack thourgh the middle, this is a good chance, Korayevski shoots again AND HITS THE POST BUT HE IS THERE AGAIN AND HITS THE CROSSBAR UNELIVABLE. Counter attack by Germany, its a fast attack but all they get is a corner BUT WHATS THIS! Maryewich abandons Bezmogowski and is guarding Kerezutski! Well this is interesting...the corner is taken AND OH NO THE BALL IS FLYING TOWARDS KEREZUTSKI but luckly Maryewich was there. Counter attack by Russia, Korayevski has it, shoots...AND THE POST DENIED HIM BUT THERE HE IS AGAIN AND MANAGES TO HIT THE CROSSBAR BUT HE IS NOW ONLY 3m AWAY FROM THE GOAL...AND HE SCORES, ITS A GOAL. No...wait...the goalkeeper has it. HEY YOU KID I TOLD YOU TO SIT DOWN. I CANT BELIVE IT KORAYEVSKI YOU STUPID IDIOT HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT??? Well play resumes and...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE ARE ENTERING THE FINAL MINUTES. What a game, Russia equalised in the 43th minute after the ball hit Korayevski in the head after it hit the crossbar. So far the 2nd half has been a nightmare, Russia had 2 goal dissalowed and got 5 red cards and its coach and the entire bench got red cards, even the doctors. We are now entering the 8th minute of stoppage time, Germany is playing an offensive 0-0-10 with an offensive goalkeeper...AND PENALTY FOR GERMANY. Beznogowski was 10m away from the goalkeeper completly alone when he was fouled...so far 9 russian players were complaining on injuries in the 2nd half, including 3 subs who replaced the inured players. Beznogowski steps up BUT MISSED. NO THE REFFEREE WANTS TO REPEAT IT. Aparently the goalkeeper touched the ball with his hands illegaly. Beznogowski again...AND SCORES. Its 3-2 and the referee signals the end of the game. Germany has won the...


Wrangel turns off the radio


-Blah, stupid Germans. They always win in extra time
 

Davisx3m

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Bah! Like the Swedish - Spanish match. They won in the 92th minute :(