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Johan11

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Hmmmmm......

I think Francesco has the Paranoia.....
 

sjones25

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dinofs: :)

mayorqw: Of course! If there's one thing the Bourbons aren't, its French.

Johan11: Ha, I didn't even notice that! And Paranoia doesn't begin to describe whats wrong with the king! It would probably take the tireless work of all the psychiatrists in the world to diagnose all of these guys' disorders!

theconfusedone: That would be epic, but it would also involve changing to Orthodox to form the Byz and then switching back to Catholic to become the Pope.

JDMS: Yea, I'm pretty confident at this point.

morningSIDEr: Longer, more humiliating, more painful, but much less satisfying. Clearly you've never had the pleasure of chopping someones head off!
 

sjones25

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French Noble: My Liege, it is good to finally have you back in France! After all these years, we had started to think that your family had forgotten its roots! But now you're back where you belong and the Empire is finally France again!
Francisco: Yea, well, its been fun. I wonder where I'll go next...
French Noble: What do you mean?
Francisco: You didn't expect me to stay in France forever, did you? Are you kidding me? The palace here doesn't even have toilets! My archeologists did uncover a sweet wine collection though! Mmmm, sweet Burgundy draft of 1437. I took great pleasure drinking the last drops of their nation's greatness!

Messenger: My Emperor! Exciting... or strange... well... interesting news from Russia, or should I say Spain!
Francisco: Well, which is it? Russia or Spain?
EU3_1.jpg

Francisco: Oh... oh my. I think the Spanish Nationalists got lost...

Francisco: Well. Thanks for everything France! Its been great! I think I'll come visit again sometime. On second thought, probably not. But anyway, bye!
French Noble: But, but, but... My Liege, you've only just arrived!
Francisco: Yeah, well, duty calls! Business and all that! Goodbye!
EU3_2.jpg


Adviser: Umm... Orkney, Your Highness?
Francisco: Pretty cool, huh? Check out all the Scottish Viking guys! We should come up with a cool name for them like Scotings!
Adviser: Scootings?
Francisco: I suppose it would need both the t's huh? Scottings? Still sounds funny... how about Viktts.
Adviser: How do you even say that? Its got four consonants in a row!
Francisco: How should I know? Go ask a linguist or something!

Time for Persia to die.
EU3_9.jpg


Where'd they pick up that province??? I could have sworn I left them a OPM in our last war!
EU3_10.jpg

Your trickery has saved you for now! Five more years Persia! Just you wait!

The empire is somewhat less than shocked to here that Francisco succumbed to the cold, soggy, stormy environment of his new home.
EU3_11.jpg


Francisco's son, Robert III, is crowned aboard a longboat with full Viking ceremonies.

Noble 1: Does anyone even bother pointing out that the empire has never had a Robert I or Robert II anymore?
Noble 2: No, not usually.
Noble 1: Why do we even bother showing up to these coronations anyway?
Noble 2: I don't know... The hot Norwegian women?
Noble 1: Works for me.

Money money money!
EU3_12.jpg


There's still the small problem of the Byzantine Empire still existing, preventing me from ever becoming them.
EU3_14.jpg

That will soon be rectified.

A few new vassals later:
EU3_18.jpg


Robert: The "City of Manly Desires" is now ours!
Adviser: I'm not sure you got that phrase quite right...
Robert: Nonesense! Is it not ours? Are the French not the manliest people in the world?
Adviser: Well....
Robert: Good point. Now I understand why my father wanted to become a Viking.

Robert: Prepare to shift cultures! Hang on tight!!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
EU3_21.jpg


Robert: Now lets form Scandinavia!
EU3_22.jpg


Robert: Or we could sit around bored for a whole year...

One year later:

Robert: NOW lets form Scandinavia!!
EU3_24.jpg


Maps:
EU3_MAP_SCA_1730913_1.jpg

Something funny about this map is: Scandinavia, Gotland, Finland, Denmark, and Sweden all exist simultaneously and all have provinces in Scandinavia!

In other news: Vikings rule the world!
EU3_MAP_SCA_1730913_2.jpg


France √ - Ireland √ - England √ - Great Britain √ - Italy √ - Netherlands √ - Prussia √ - Germany √ - Spain √ - Russia √ - France √ - Scandinavia √ - Persia - Papal State - Mughal Empire - Byzantine Empire

11 down, 4 to go!
 
Last edited:

JDMS

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I'm surprised this hasn't turned into a WC . . .
 

theconfusedone

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Orkney! That's one nice plot twist :p
 
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France √ - Ireland √ - England √ - Great Britain √ - Italy √ - Netherlands √ - Prussia √ - Germany √ - Spain √ - Russia √ - France √ - Scandinavia - √ Persia - Papal State - Mughal Empire - Byzantine Empire

11 down, 4 to go!

I am not sure, but there is a decision to form China right?
 

dinofs

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Vikings!
 

morningSIDEr

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Robert: Or we could sit around bored for a whole year...

Thats what happens when you make Orkney your capital, alot of sitting around bored...
 

Johan11

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Thats what happens when you make Orkney your capital, alot of sitting around bored...

Kirkwall is funny at this time of the year. I'm there right now!
There's a lot of......... room for thinking!
 

sjones25

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JDMS: Yeah, I am avoiding WC on purpose. Taking all those extra provinces would just make culture shifts harder!

theconfusedone: I like Scotland. Bizarrely enough, I actually had more Norwegian provinces than Danish or Swedish. So Orkney was the only logical place.

morningSIDEr: I never made it up to Orkney, it sounds nice to visit, but there would probably be very little to do if you actually lived there. Of course my monarchs never really "live" anywhere, they just visit for a few months to years and then move on.

Johan11: What are you doing in Orkney? Hopefully not just sitting around bored for a whole year :D

Junuxx: Thanks!
 

sjones25

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Robert: Something has to be done about Persia!
Adviser: What do you mean?
Robert: Well you see, it still exists.
Adviser: Ah. Um, why is that a problem?
Robert: How are we supposed to call ourselves Persia if Persia still exists?!?
Adviser: You want to change our nation into Persia?
Robert: Yes, of course. Its the only obvious move to take from here.
Adviser: My Liege, if I may point out-
Robert: You mayn't.
Adviser: Mayn't?
Robert: Guards!

A quick war with anyone will do, seeing as the stupid OPM Persians have warned us!
EU3_2.jpg


Hooray! The Persians are finally gone. But don't be sad, they'll be back.
EU3_3.jpg


The Ottomans are put in their place as well.
EU3_5.jpg


Robert: I hereby declare that being a Viking crusader guy rampaging through the middle east is awesome. And you know what crusader guys like better than killing heathens? Destroying the Byzantine Empire of course!
EU3_6.jpg


The Byzantines are OPM'd.
EU3_7.jpg


Robert: Well, as fun as my stay here on Orkney has been, I have to be going. Come on courtiers, we're leaving!
Courtier: Where are we going this time?
Robert: What a silly question! Persia, of course!
EU3_11.jpg


Well isn't that cute.
EU3_15.jpg


Robert: Hey little guy. Aww, you want to be big and powerful again don't you? I know! You can be part of my empire! Then at least you'll be part of something big and powerful.
EU3_17.jpg


The Byz save me the trouble of having to DoW them.
EU3_18.jpg


Robert: Hey I just got a letter from the Byzantine Emperor! 'To my hated enemy, the King of France' What? France? We haven't been France in years? Keep up man! 'Your heresy and expansionism has reached a point where no one on earth can stand you... blah blah blah... Please come annex my pathetic little kingdom as soon as possible. Sincerely, your good friend, the Emperor of Rome'
Adviser: Did he really say that?
Robert: Yeah! Can you believe it? He called us expansionist! The nerve of this guy!
Adviser: Um... I was more asking about that last part. Where he asked you to come annex his country.
Robert: Oh, no I made that bit up. But we'll let him have it anyway.
EU3_19.jpg


Well, goodbye Vikings!
EU3_21.jpg


Robert: Now we're Persians. We should probably... were turbans... and do whatever Persians are supposed to do... I don't really know anything stereotypical about Persians, to be honest.
Adviser: And by that you mean, you don't know anything about Persians at all.
Robert: Nonsense! I am Persian!
Courtier: Its hot here. When can we go back to Scandinavia?
Robert: Silence! And put your turban back on! We are Persia now, so get used to it!
EU3_24.jpg

This is probably the funniest decision text I've seen when you read it in the context!

This map isn't very helpful since there's at least three nations that are all the same color of tan.
EU3_MAP_PER_174421_1.jpg


If you ignore all the vassals, all of Europe, and the bit sticking out into India, this Persia actually looks pretty good.
EU3_MAP_PER_174421_2.jpg


France √ - Ireland √ - England √ - Great Britain √ - Italy √ - Netherlands √ - Prussia √ - Germany √ - Spain √ - Russia √ - France √ - Scandinavia √ - Persia √ - Papal State - Mughal Empire - Byzantine Empire

12 down, 3 to go! Hold on tight, things are about to get crazy! (and by that I mean, more crazy then it already is)
 
Last edited:

dinofs

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Hmm.... It says that Robert is Shiite... But your next objective is to become Pope. :wacko:
 

zagoroth

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yes, "several" of the neighboring regions have been conquered;).
 

morningSIDEr

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A very nice update.

12 down, 3 to go! Hold on tight, things are about to get crazy! (and by that I mean, more crazy then it already is)

That seems near impossible!
 

theconfusedone

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It's a Catholic Persia right?
DOUBLE THE EPICNESS

Persian stereotypes? They speak with a British accent and jump from wall to wall. Well at least their prince does. :rolleyes:
 
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