Alright so I'm at war with Mexico. I've occupied every one of their territories. I don't want to annex them and take all of their land. Nor do I want to take any of their land that doesn't belong to the U.S.. I'm too lazy to go through that lonnnnng list and pick out the territories that belong to me. So how do I get this event to come up?
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I don't know about the event, but if you satellite them you'll automatically get all the provinces of theirs that are your core provinces.
AFAIK, you have to sign a peace where you get a at least a province (to prove that you won the war) and then it will fire after the peace. As beowulf said though, it's better to satellite them, as you will then get all your core provinces automatically.