Tokyo, '45, An Australian AAR

[roverS3]

It's interesting how much Australia is investing into it's own cruisers. It's almost like they don't want to buy, rent, or borrow British cruisers anymore. I guess we'll see who ends up with the better cruisers. The RAN or the RNZN (who I suppose might still be getting their cruisers in the traditional form of Royal navy hand me downs). The Kiwi's could definitely get almost as dangerous on the seas as those Emu's are on land, with some proper British Cruisers.

I'm loving Lavarack's tragic self-awareness. He knows how stuck he is in his ways, but there is nothing he can do about it. And then inspiration struck and he accidentally invents special forces. Infantry trained to fight in the worst terrain, where even with decades of development no tracked or wheeled vehicle would ever be useful.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

Infantry trained to fight in the worst terrain, where even with decades of development no tracked or wheeled vehicle would ever be useful.

A slight correction, tracked and wheeled vehicles are always useful in any terrain

as cover.

 

[Wraith11B]

Got to say, as a light infantry grunt, vehicles are only useful as cover.

 

[37th Armoured div]

So, for a lark, I took a look at the australian 2nd division, because I thought it very unlikely it would have just a number (with bad handwriting, to boot) as its logo. From this, I discovered that during WW2, the second division was infiltrated.

(Apparent Logo of Aus 2nd Div)

 

[37th Armoured div]

It's interesting how much Australia is investing into it's own cruisers. It's almost like they don't want to buy, rent, or borrow British cruisers anymore. I guess we'll see who ends up with the better cruisers. The RAN or the RNZN (who I suppose might still be getting their cruisers in the traditional form of Royal navy hand me downs). The Kiwi's could definitely get almost as dangerous on the seas as those Emu's are on land, with some proper British Cruisers.

I'm loving Lavarack's tragic self-awareness. He knows how stuck he is in his ways, but there is nothing he can do about it. And then inspiration struck and he accidentally invents special forces. Infantry trained to fight in the worst terrain, where even with decades of development no tracked or wheeled vehicle would ever be useful.

Notably, the Kiwis spent half of my original Australia playthrough buying production licences for cruisers from me. I was never able to buy production licences for cruisers from Britain, though, it just never showed up.

Instead, I ended up researching my own, and licensed some American cruisers late war.

I might just turn Lavarack into the comic relief, because its hard to find a role for him in the cabinet.

 

[37th Armoured div]

Oh, and yes, There have been two notifications about Bismarck's launch. The save I had made on the 2nd of august was broken, forcing me to resort to an autosave on the first of august instead. Though, it's fun to imagine that Bismarck had committed fission in drydock.

 

[Bullfilter]

The kiwi, and the penguin were sent to the midnight express

Good to see the institution has successfully migrated into Australian usage.

and l-l-look at me now, a member of the old guard, yelling about how wars should be fought with infantry! I should just retire, there's clearly better candidates out there!"

Now, for students of 1930s Australian history, branding someone Old Guard - or indeed even worse the New Guard - has a few implications. Will leave it to those interested to Google them if so inclined.

And then, the emus attacked.

Of course they did. Btw, Emu would be a great name for the first Australian fighter design! It could go up against a wing of RNZAF Kiwis and some Penguin INT based out of OMG Island.

"So what you're telling me, is that at 12 in the morning, you felt the need to inform me of a pointless uprising in a pointless province, because it could be made into a pun?"

"Yes."

"Consider yourself promoted."

The correct response, absolutely.

I weep for a military that finds promoting the makers of such egregious puns an acceptable doctrine. Demotion is the necessary response, even if only for the sake of right proper form.

Au contraire, no pun-ishment is warranted here!

Got to say, as a light infantry grunt, vehicles are only useful as cover.

Though the guys who fought the jungle campaigns in New Guinea, Bougainville etc sure like having them when they came up against Japanese machine gun nests.

Did plenty of Inf-tank coop training back in the day, and the infanteers would always say they couldn’t think of any use beforehand, but seldom afterwards. We needed them too. They did like it when we would spot infantry bunkers at 2-3ks away and we‘d ask if they’d like us to take them out one by one … and when close country needed clearing, we we happy to let them lead and call us on the phone (literally, a phone on the back of the tank) when they wanted something blown up. Good times.

 

[37th Armoured div]

Btw, Emu would be a great name for the first Australian fighter design! It could go up against a wing of RNZAF Kiwis and some Penguin INT based out of OMG Island.

I don’t know, I feel like Wirraway feels much more Aussie, and also doesn’t include the names of the one group we lost a war against; it’s not like the Germans called the Stuka an Englishman

If I recall, OMG island fields Santa as their aerial unit

 

[Bullfilter]

I don’t know, I feel like Wirraway feels much more Aussie, and also doesn’t include the names of the one group we lost a war against; it’s not like the Germans called the Stuka an Englishman

I was just riffing jokes on flightless birds for aircraft names … what is the connection between Emus and losing wars against someone? I missed that reference.

If I recall, OMG island fields Santa as their aerial unit

Priceless. Perhaps commanded by Rudolf the Red-nosed Baron?

 

[37th Armoured div]

losing wars against someone? I missed that reference

The emu war, source of eternal Australian mockery.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

At least the Kiwis have never lost a war against an oversized bird.

Actually come to think of it I'm not sure they ever have lost any kind of war... perks of not doing a lot of war-fighting I am sure...

 

[37th Armoured div]

The New Zealanders lost one of the New Zealand wars against the Maori, if i recall, but yeah, they never lost against the kiwi

 

[Wraith11B]

Wait, are we sure that @Bullfilter is actually an Ozzy? Cause how does an Oz not remember that not only did they fight whole wars against birds... But they lost. Twice.

I thought it was a universally known item down under.

 

[nuclearslurpee]

Wait, are we sure that @Bullfilter is actually an Ozzy? Cause how does an Oz not remember that not only did they fight whole wars against birds... But they lost. Twice.

I thought it was a universally known item down under.

With enough cheap beer, nothing need be universally known!

 

[Bullfilter]

The emu war, source of eternal Australian mockery.

Well there you go, in all my six plus decades, and having an honours degree in history (and writing a thesis on one aspect of Australian history) I’d never even remotely heard of that. I had to Google it. That actually makes the joke name even better for a fighter plane! And it’s on the coat of arms, after all. An Emu fighter and a Kangaroo tank should be your first research priorities, after the Crocodile class cruisers, the Funnel Web anti-personnel mines and the Taipan heavy machine guns. And maybe the Irukandji submarines.

Wait, are we sure that @Bullfilter is actually an Ozzy? Cause how does an Oz not remember that not only did they fight whole wars against birds... But they lost. Twice.

I thought it was a universally known item down under.

Remember, the Emu is truly Australian that for once we haven’t managed to make extinct, we are the introduced species. Come to think of it, a Cane Toad heavy tank would be indestructible.

With enough cheap beer, nothing need be universally known!

That, my friend, is as true a statement as you will ever see written in these forums.

 

[El Pip]

I now demand a Major Update, both on principle and because I am curious to see how far down this rabbit hole we can go.

General Update works. Brigadier Update makes me think of old school doctor who.;
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Jenkins?
Jenkins: Sir!
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Austrian chap with the dodgy moustache, there. Five rounds rapid.

It would be a short but satisfying chapter.

This seems too wordy, perhaps we should abbreviate this to "Expendable". Bonus points for accuracy if you ask the British.

Too late, King Gorge has spoken. And he clearly has a far lower opinion of Australians than King George VI ever had. Also Gorge is clearly far more than a constitutional figure head if he can order the Dominions to send armies to foreign lands.

Oh, and yes, There have been two notifications about Bismarck's launch. The save I had made on the 2nd of august was broken, forcing me to resort to an autosave on the first of august instead. Though, it's fun to imagine that Bismarck had committed fission in drydock.

Quite possibly the Bismark sunk in dock and then had to be launched again? Kreigsmarine build quality was pretty dodgy at the best of times.

 

[37th Armoured div]

Abyssinia had finally surrendered to the nation of Ethiopia.

Uhhh.....
I'd like to pretend that this was an Australian simply snarkily changing Ethiopia's name while chuckling into his beer, but no, this should have been Italy instead.

Also, the next update will probably be in early October.
Sorry

 

[37th Armoured div]

Major (not really) update

---

The scrap iron flotilla, having just finished a refurbishment process, (now a level 5 flotilla) had set sail on its shakedown cruise.
Included is a letter from ensign Wash, from HMAS Waterhen.

Hello Ma,
Beautiful day on the waves, but too bloody hot! Cap'n ordered us out on the deck at noon. Pretty hot, yeah? Well, it didn't get better, thats for certan (sic). so there we are, out on the deck, only stopped from fainting because of the air blowing in our face, and he tells the engineers to , Quote Unquote, "All Stop". And now the wind stops blowing. Remember that sauna? It was like that, but awful! Then he tells us, We have to go fishing! Fishing, Can you imagine! There are people getting burnt on the railings when they lean on them! And he tells us to sit still in the heat (Not him, though, he's standing in the shade!) until we catch fish! Of course, there's no fish that's fool enough to come near a destroyer, even when its not moving!

We're there for at least half an hour, with no bites, nothing, before a bloody miracle happens! A dolphin, an honest to god dolphin, practically jumps out of the ocean, clearing the railing, nearly clearing the ship, before hitting the captain in the side, and rolling to a halt midship. The captain fell overboard, and someone threw him a life ring, while most of the crew gently put the dolphin back in the ocean. Just saw him again actually. We really like that dolphin, someones taken to calling it Petty Officer Clip.
Not sure how this letter will get to you, but I hope it gets to you
Tim Wash.

 

[37th Armoured div]

Also, the next update will probably be in early October.

Boy do I like being wrong
Next Gameplay update in October

 

[nuclearslurpee]

Petty Officer Clip ought to be a national hero.