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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

DavidMK

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Is it wise to attempt 3 ARRs, 2 in CK2, at once? Probably not. Will this end well? I doubt it. Am I going to do it anyway? Obviously.

In this ARR I'll be making a custom character to start... ME! What will the Dark Age world look like with a 21st Century American calling the shots? Let's find out!
 

DavidMK

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Introduction

I'm a modest person, somewhat shy and withdrawn but still fond of beautiful women. My religious beliefs are unorthodox to say the least but I take a live and let live view of others provided they return the sentiment.
I'm not exactly sure how it happened. 1 minute I'm walking out of a Miami pawn shop after selling some things I'd found on the beach with my metal detector and the next I'm on some unpaved country road. At 1st I'd thought I'd been teleported (a thought that hardly calmed me) but as I walked I eventually came to a small farming village right out of a renaissance fair... Only even more primitive. That they spoke something other than English didn't help.

It took me a few hours of walking around the village like a madman (dressed in jeans, tshirt and sneakers while speaking a strange language) before I realized what language I was hearing, Irish. I didn't understand it of course, the dialect was archaic after all and my understanding of 21st Century Irish was basic at best. Even still I was able to pick up a few words and identify the language.

Eventually I found a friendly villager willing to put me up for the night (communication primarily thru hand motions). It was at this point I finally accepted that they weren't faking it and accepted the reality of my situation: Not only had I been teleported to some place in Ireland, I'd been sent back in time, gods know how far.

Immersion allowed me to pick up the language quickly and I quickly realized how desperate my situation was. None knew the proper year, ignorant peasants as they were. Nonetheless I was able to figure out I was at some point in the early Dark Age, The world was a chaotic mess and would be for another 800 years but the light of Rome had not yet fully been extinguished.

At this point I decided that I was morally honor bound, knowing what dark times lay ahead, to restore the light of civilization to whatever extent I could. Using my knowledge, basic by 21st Century standards but almost godlike to those I found myself living with, I gathered a following and led an army of peasants armed with folded steel weapons and blackpowder slingshots to the main 'city' in Leinster. The local levy was no match for my army and I quickly swept them aside and proclaimed myself 'King' of Leinster. I was no king of course, I've been in grocery stores with more people than I now ruled. Nonetheless, I was in a position of respect and could begin my work.

6 months ago I was just some random guy in Miami, now I'm in a position to change history. Gods help me.
 
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DavidMK

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Survival


I was 'king', a shocking turn of events. A Hellenist, English speaking Irish King David in what I had deduced to be sometime in 476 CE... Born in 1987 CE. Fortuna has an odd sense of humor. Still, I had chosen this path when I could have lived out my life as a simple farmer. Having made that choice, I obligated myself to performing my royal duties.

Sure I had gone into this looking to prevent the Dark Age, at least in my corner of the world. Still there were more mundane tasks to perform such dealing with uppity peasants, trying to curtail the barbarism of the tribals and... Having a son. If nothing else, the last part would be fun.

I was reminded of how many remarked that the most common of people lived better than the kings of old. Too true, I'd slept on planes that were better than my 'hall', eaten MREs during hurricanes better than my daily 'feast fit for a king' and my choice of women... Nobody of note would marry me, I was an infidel and unestablished. The only choices in my court who weren't already married or old hags were 3 young 'women' of 16. I had to remind myself of the times I found myself living in and chose a mild mannered girl. She was a shy thing but willing enough to marry the stranger who spoke her language with a strange accent for the chance to rise in station.

***




Perhaps it was unwise to profess my faith openly. While it is true that worship of the Olympians has not yet been driven underground, it is not a faith the Irish have ever known. My fellow Irishmen don't take kindly to my faith or strange language and have united against me. Fortunately I still have my peasant but battle hardened followers and superior weapons. I'll need them.


The 1st battle was close to home, mere miles outside Leinster. The Irish zealots came unprepared for folded steel and gunpowder. Crude and primitive to my mind, the sort of thing found in a particularly bright child's middle school science project, yet compared to the Dark Age army my general faced, literally centuries ahead. The enemy was repelled and my victorious army marched on.

I'm no warrior, certainly not in the brutal sense of Dark Age warfare. Once the army leaves Leinster, I'll have to rely on reports. Fortunately I'm a fan of Game of Thrones. Taking my cue, I made a point of implementing a similar means of communication when I 1st raised my army. It honestly wasn't too hard, the locals already understood the use of courier pigeons. I merely codified the process by setting up way stations for the birds to rest at and establishing the Order of the Pigeon to maintain the network and train the birds. Order of the Pigeon... Too grandiose perhaps, they're just pigeons after all.


I've received word that my forces have seized Dublin. I wonder what the historians will make of that, the future capital of Ireland sacked by 6th Century Hellenists armed with 16th century weapons. Of course they wouldn't know any better, I'll simply be remembered as some genius if my name survives the ravages of time. The jokes on them. I'm smart, sure but hardly some forward thinking battle master. I wonder if anyone will consider time travel? The Butterfly Effect is a strange thing, scifi may never become a thing to inspire such thinking.


The Irish zealots attempted to drive me from my home again. I had rallied the levy and was prepared to lead the defence myself but my army returned and attacked the enemy camp in the night. They were caught off guard, reports say only a few hundred escaped the battle.


I was walking in the market when I heard a whisper in my ear. It was a odd looking old man, the sort you'd see sleeping on a park bench. He told me he was a wizard. I'm no sceptic when it comes to magic but this guy seemed totally nuts. Still, the locals were superstitious and talked of an old Celtic wizard. I assumed this was the guy. I took him back to my hall and had him cleaned up. Honestly, a good bath and clean cloths really changed his look. Perhaps he's not the crazy old bum I suspected. Now don't get me wrong, he's coco for coco puffs but a bum? I think not.


Most of the Irish zealots have accepted the reality of my army's technological advantage, though many whisper of dark magic thanks to the gun powder. Black magic... The Chinese (Of this age!) are working with better stuff but then they wouldn't know that. I really should remember WHEN I'm living.


Apparently my Chancellor has been up to something. He just came to me with 'proof' that I have a claim on Ormond. It's laughable, I haven't even been born yet! Still, nobody actually knows that, not even my wife. As far as anyone knows, I could be some exiled noble that's reasserting my claims. Ormond's rightful claimant knows better as do I and I assume my Chanoler seeing as he couldn't have found anything legitimate. Still, it seems everyone else in Ireland is at least willing to accept the possibility because nobody accept the offended party has protested. Perhaps this is a good thing, unifying Ireland is obviously something I must do if I am to complete my (admittedly self issued) mission to prevent the Dark Age from fully taking hold.


I went to the stablemaster today. I figured that I needed a horse if I expected to go anywhere other than Leinster. What could be so hard about that? Alas, the stablemaster has the blood of a used car salesmen and wouldn't agree to a fair price. I was about to walk away when my Spymaster (doing who knows what in the stables) overheard our haggling and stepped in. He was able to talk reason to the stablemaster and get him to agree to a fair price.


Apparently I'm more persuasive than I thought. That or the Irish don't take religion as seriously as they will later, what with the Troubles and all. Whatever the reason, I managed to convert the local bishop!

***


My marriage was about establishing my dynasty. Even still, I never felt right forcing the issue nor had our marriage born any heirs. I decided it might help to actually get to know each other and so I've arranged a quiet weekend in the countryside so that we can properly get to know each other.


It seems my romantic gesture was appreciated. Derborgaill has really come along in her affections it seems.


I was walking in the fields outside Leinster trying to clear my head when a butterfly landed on my arm. Such an innocent thing, oblivious to the complexities of the world and all the strange twists of life.


Strange the sort of things that can inspire ideas. After considering the butterfly I encountered yesterday, I came to envy it's ability to simply fly from place to place. Being new to the region and now owning a horse, I've decided to travel across Leinster. It might be a modest fiefdom but I'd be wise to keep tabs on it.


It's taken a few days but I've finally finished packing and gathering my bodyguards. I can't wait to set out, I could use a vacation.


I asked my wife to join me but she refused. She agreed with my reasoning for leaving but felt it unwise to leave things in Leinster unattended. I agreed and issued orders for her to rule in my name. That will certainly inspire angry mumbling among the men of the court but I come from a more enlightened time and know women can rule.


I was married to a Irish women almost 2,000 years dead when I was born. After almost 4 years, I was still having trouble wrapping my head around my situation. I found our temperaments to be similar, shy yet eager to learn and literate in an age where such a thing was rare. Nor did she take her faith seriously, indeed going so far as to write me to let me know that he had chosen to accept my faith in order to smooth the path for our marriage. Perhaps, I'm thinking, at the instigation of my new formerly Christian Auger. I doubt her faith in the Olympians is any more sincere than it was for Yahweh but it avoids the awkwardness of her going to church without me and helps legitimize my faith in the eyes of the nobility and commoners.



My 1st stop was to visit my Auger. I've never been as pious as I should be but he's an educated man fully committed to his new faith and possessing a deep knowledge of Hellenistic writings. Apparently translating old Greek works into Latin (the language of the Church) was a hobby of his.

Before I had a chance to meet him, I came across an old Chinese man. He didn't seem surprised when I offered him the common Mandarin greeting. I don't know if he was aware of my... Advancement or if he'd simply seen too much to be phased for he had obviously seen much to make it all the way to Ireland. I invited him to join me in my prayers and he accepted.


After our prayers, we spoke of the lands he traveled thru, of the many empires he'd visited and his insistence that China was the only true empire. He did finally seem surprised when I expressed agreement for the Roman 'Empire' was more myth than fact. Perhaps he WAS ignorant of how far ahead of everyone I was, I doubt he'd ever met anyone this side of Persia that truly understood what China was.


As I rest my horse, I can't help but consider all that I've seen. While nothing compared to what I'd experienced in my own time, it was still almost overwhelming after so many years living life so slowly.


I was traveling down a wooded road when we came across the remains of a raid. My bodyguards suggested we take what we could but I have no wish to anger spirits. Instead I ordered a Christian burial in deference to their faith.


I can't help thinking about my lack of an heir. I'll really need to work on that when I get home. Now that there is love in my marriage, it shouldn't feel so... Wrong.


The past week or so have been quite and I'm almost bored. I can't wait to go home.


I was passing a farm when I noticed a young boy attempting and failing to woo a girl. Both looked to be peasants. I had a bodyguard bring the boy to me and told him the fastest way to a girl's heart is respect. I expected him to balk but he surprised me by accepting my advice. Perhaps I'd be able to civilize this world early after all.


At last I near Leinster. It'll be good to see my wife again and sleep in my own bed.


My wife ran up to me when I returned home, almost knocking me down as I attempted to both hug her and dismount at the same time. She whispered sweet nothing in my ear and I eagerly followed her back to our chambers.

I had faced uncertainty, armies of sectarians looking to put my head on a spike and worse and made myself known to my people. And I survived it all. Perhaps the gods look kindly on me after all.
 
Last edited:

blitzthedragon

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Florida Man Goes Back in Time to 5th Century Ireland and Drastically Alters History

That freaking Florida Man...
 

coragamy

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Wait so did you alter the tech of your army?
 

DavidMK

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Wait so did you alter the tech of your army?
I did a bit of cheating do to the whole 'knowing more' thing, yes. Just a 1 off thing to start myself out though.