Say I invite over courtier X for "stat marriage", she's a 45 y/o woman with 2 kids that are not yet 16 -- in most cases, these will follow her.
Let's just say they are two randoms, w/ no claims, no bloodlines, etc. I don't want them in the first place. Now, it does make some sense that to get this woman to come to my court, that the children would have to come as well ... fine. The problem is that after she dies or if I decide to kick her for some reason, I can't be a jerk and then throw these kids out on the street ... I'm stuck with them until they turn 16.
There are plenty of potential wives, concubines, secondary wives, etc. out there that already have kids. The only realistic way to get rid of these kids before 16 is then by landing either the woman or the husband. The -40 opinion malus from Tyranny -- don't see that as viable (or murdering them all one by one, but time issues on this, again, not great option)..
There are also some occasions where I may find some useful courtier (great stat for councilor, commander, has some artifact, whatever) that I invite over that is already married. For these add another 1-9 kids or such and possibility for more. If great stat guy dies a year later, I could kick out the mother (or father) but kids will stay with me until 16.
I think I'd be more of the opinion that if your court size isn't 200+, you are doing something wrong .. with current game mechanics. That said, I wouldn't mind 'struggling' to keep my size under 100 .. if I could remove children, stop people from coming back to court after 3 days (what do I do here? keep kicking out every 3 days for 5 prestige hit?).
I also take great care of my courtiers and they have access to great social programmes. Unfortunately, with new patch, when wave of refugees comes over including children that I am forced to keep in orphanages, the drain on treasury is bad for my existing citizens.
The 'Great Wall' work doesn't help this, they scale the wall. It is not high enough.
so you are telling me, your court has you and your close family, 5 councilers with wives or maybe without, and 180 children?
I find that rather hard to believe