Things I've Learned from Victoria 2

[matt12th]

>>Starting in 1836, North Dakota was a highly desirable place to live. As soon as it became a state, no one wanted to move there.

This is kinda true, not 1836, but a lot of towns in that area were bigger in the 1800's than they are now.

Also its interesting historically that 19th century Austria humbled all opponents and inaugurated an era of peace and hegemony in eastern europe where even today the people are noted for their uniform southern_german culture.

 

[Secret Master]

The Balkans were there powderkeg of Europe. However, teachers often have difficulties lecturing on this point in their classes. The problem stems from the lead-up to, and the countries comprising, the largest war in southern Europe in the Victorian period: the Italian Conquest of Languedoc. The Italian government, tired of French meddling in the Balkans, used a border dispute to press ahead for a war that promised to chastise the hated cheese-mongers for their arrogant placement of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy in their sphere. When war was declared in May of 1920, Italian troops eagerly crossed the border into Languedoc from their bases in Provence and Rhone (acquired in the previous War of Provencal Conquest) and engaged the conscripts of the French army, giving them a good thrashing at the battles of Verdun, Paris, and (obviously) Languedoc.

This is the easy part of war to teach students.

The hard part to teach students is what was happening in the eastern theater. Austria and Hungary, two of Italy's closest allies, fought a valiant war against Austria-Hungary. Austrian and Hungarian troops fought against the hated Austria-Hungarian brigades in a series of battles that claimed many lives as trench networks grew exponentially. But as valiant as the Austrians and Hungarians were in their attempts to break the lines of the Austria-Hungarians, the battles were not decided until troops from the Ottoman Empire marched through Bosnia and encircled the Austria-Hungarian armies. The largest battle ever fought in eastern Europe, and comprising Turks, Austrians, Hungarians, and Austria-Hungarians, was not actually fought in Austria, Hungary, or in Austria-Hungary. It was fought in Croatia, which has caused a never ending stream of undergraduates to fail their tests on the subject.

Macmillan textbooks often use the following visual aid to assist new teachers who try to teach this confusing segment of European history. [Just in case you think I am making it up.]

 

[Arizal]

Austria and Hungary vs Austria-Hungary? :rofl: This is hilarous! How did that happen?

 

[Secret Master]

Well, Austria and I fought a long series of wars. During these wars, I liberated Slovakia and Croatia. That brought their prestige down enough for them to fire the Duel Monarchy decision. They were now a different tag, so it became possible to liberate Austria itself. So, in a continuing series of wars, (don't look at me like that! They kept starting them to reclaim cores!) I was able to liberate Austria and Hungary.

And when I finally managed to beat them so bad that they gave up Vienna to my Austria, Austria was able to fire off the architectural decision for Vienna a second time.

But that's not all. They still have a colonial empire near Ethiopia, despite not having European coastline for a few decades.

 

[Morboth]

Well, Austria and I fought a long series of wars. During these wars, I liberated Slovakia and Croatia. That brought their prestige down enough for them to fire the Duel Monarchy decision. They were now a different tag, so it became possible to liberate Austria itself. So, in a continuing series of wars, (don't look at me like that! They kept starting them to reclaim cores!) I was able to liberate Austria and Hungary.

And when I finally managed to beat them so bad that they gave up Vienna to my Austria, Austria was able to fire off the architectural decision for Vienna a second time.

But that's not all. They still have a colonial empire near Ethiopia, despite not having European coastline for a few decades.

Care to share the savegame? Would most definitely LOVE to play that game.

 

[Drogan]

80% of the french population move in mass to algeria by 1850

 

[Naxias]

History goes like: On June 28th - 1891 a great power constructed both the Panama Canal and the Suez Canal. Construction was started and finished on the same day. Also that day the owning countries peacefully handed over the areas around the canals to the great power.
The following 3 days 200,000 unemployed pesants migrated to each area.

Despite this feet of engineering and despite having knowledge of advanced steam driven locomotives the great power had to spend years constructing primitive railways with ox driven carriages because the area did not already have a railroad.

And I've learned that:
In the late 19th century 85% of Danish Capitalists were supporters of the socialist cause, but were unable to get minimum wage reforms through parlament due to heavy opposition from their mostly conservative employees.

Iceland has the best recruitment officers in the world.

Most military breakthroughs are made during peacetime.

Even if a building project is expected to take years you don't start construction until the last box of nails has been purchased.

Doctors, maintainance and service staff do not contribute anything to soceity or to the economy whatsoever.

All government projects are completed on schedule and within the budget.

Peasants need to be successful in order to want to become factory workers.

 

[Rockingluke]

People lived in silence from 1836 - 1936 in case they offended Great Britain and caused 1000 ships and 50 million British-Indians to storm their home country.

 

[Secret Master]

Care to share the savegame? Would most definitely LOVE to play that game.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/2760471/Italy1914_09_22.v2

Here's the game at 1914. Have fun, you just conquered parts of southern France and Austria is looking to reclaim some land.

 

[JPeif]

By the late 1870's the Dakotas, Montana and Idaho were all States. Florida, Michigan, and Wisconsin, though, still remained territories waiting for their paperwork to be approved.

 

[Zanko Hale]

The idea of a united Germany was scrapped in favour of mass emmigration to the newly aquired Prussian Greenland and Iceland.
Russia meanwhile fought countless wars to reclaim the rightfully Russian South West England.

France found herself in a pickle when 100% of its population both wanted to allow and ban slavery. Chaos ensued

 

[Wenla]

If you like to improve your relationship with France, ban their embassies.

 

[Secret Master]

I learned that the following conversation took place in an colonial office in India at around 1901. It was recovered from an old diary written by Wilkins, John J., a low level bureaucrat who was later instrumental in the extension of suffrage to the 2 million Englishmen living in Panjab at the time. He would stand for Parliament twice, and lose both times because of this specific conversation, however.

"Good news, Sir Robert! We just opened Japan for trade!"

"Good show, Wilkins. Now that we beat the Americans and the French to the jewel of east Asia, the world's tea will be all ours, to do with what we please. With Japan in our sphere of influence, those American upstarts can go back and crawl into their hole in Hawaii."

"Jolly good, sir. But the Japanese government is requesting our help."

"Oh, and what do they need?"

"Well, they were wondering if we should be willing to share some military technology with them."

"Good heavens, Wilkins, we already have a legation quarter set up, and some province modifiers that improve their research speed. What more do those blasted Japanese want?"

"Well, sir, they were impressed with our breech-loading rifles. You know, the ones we've been replacing with Gatling guns and bolt-action rifles? They were wondering if we could just give them breech-loading rifles so they could upgrade their army. Oh, and they really would like mechanical production. You know, so they can make more tea and all."

"Certainly not, Wilkins."

"But Sir Robert, why not? We have Bessemer steel and poison gas. The least we could do is help them upgrade their technology to the previous generation from us. I mean, if their army is upgraded, then we won't even have to defend this part of out empire that much."

"Wilkins, I can see why you have never been promoted in colonial service. It is forbidden by the Prime Directive of 1836 to grant technology to other countries. All of the Great Powers and secondary powers are signatories to the Prime Directive. In fact, do you remember when Sweden became a Great Power last year? God save her, but the Queen refused to grant them Great Power recognition until they signed the Prime Directive."

"But Sir Robert, if we could just give Japan Clean Coal, we might not have to import anymore coal from Russian Manchuria. Surely the Queen is tired of lining the pockets of the Russian Czar because we use all of our coal building three times as many steamers as we need?"

"Certainly not, Wilkins. And I don't want to here anymore about it. And before you go, make sure that all those Japanese members of the Emperor's family who will be attending Oxford next year are never allowed to take any science, economics, or philosophy courses. We don't want to inadvertently violate the Prime Directive just because a Japanese royal was accidentally allowed to take a course in Organic Chemistry."

 

[Fire and Ash]

1. A United Germany is a myth. It was never formed and has always been a jumble of city states.

2. Japan Colonised the Congo not Belgium.

3. China took over India in 1870.

4. Mexico won the USA Civil War.

5. Columbia conquered Australia and Canada by 1910.

6. The Pope discovered Atheism.

 

[olvirki]

1.Every Capitalist is an Alcoholic because they love to build Wine/Liquor Factories
2.Planes and Tanks aren´t that different from Infantry: They are the same
3.Gunboat Diplomacy is a myth: it never happened
4.Enacting Social/Political Reforms can make several thousand to several Million angry people happy less than 2 hours
5.Elections are always unfair because only the Ruler has Voting Rights

Gunboat diplomacy... you mean blockading their port and demand something ? If so.. Then you are wrong. Iceland did that to Oman in the mid 1850's.

 

[olvirki]

The late-2000's American Tea Party movement is but a revamp of the 19th century "Anarcho-Liberals".

Also the party "Besti Flokkurinn", founded by a commintian in 2010.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdUrg9L7jAU

Translation: These last few days have been very hard and after a long and careful thinking I have decided to no longer take part in the election..................................................... No just kidding.

They even released a music video!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxBW4mPzv6E

 

[th3freakie]

The American Civil War had many reasons to start, but modern pulp-history generally agrees that the USA-USCA Alliance fought the CSA-Mexico Entente over the Confederates decision to abolish slavery, something which The North could not accept.

In the period of 1836-1870, the USA had the 4th largest army on Earth, but almost no Navy to speak of.

One of Brazil's main goals in the 19th Century was to acquire a land connection to the Pacific. To this end they fought and lost countless wars against Peru-Mexico-Colombia-Venezuela-Argentina-Uruguay-Chile, never realising that attacking an alliance multiple times more powerful than themselves was not the best of ideas.

 

[Panjer]

I learned that the following conversation took place in an colonial office in India at around 1901. It was recovered from an old diary written by Wilkins, John J., a low level bureaucrat who was later instrumental in the extension of suffrage to the 2 million Englishmen living in Panjab at the time. He would stand for Parliament twice, and lose both times because of this specific conversation, however.

"Good news, Sir Robert! We just opened Japan for trade!"

"Good show, Wilkins. Now that we beat the Americans and the French to the jewel of east Asia, the world's tea will be all ours, to do with what we please. With Japan in our sphere of influence, those American upstarts can go back and crawl into their hole in Hawaii."

"Jolly good, sir. But the Japanese government is requesting our help."

"Oh, and what do they need?"

"Well, they were wondering if we should be willing to share some military technology with them."

"Good heavens, Wilkins, we already have a legation quarter set up, and some province modifiers that improve their research speed. What more do those blasted Japanese want?"

"Well, sir, they were impressed with our breech-loading rifles. You know, the ones we've been replacing with Gatling guns and bolt-action rifles? They were wondering if we could just give them breech-loading rifles so they could upgrade their army. Oh, and they really would like mechanical production. You know, so they can make more tea and all."

"Certainly not, Wilkins."

"But Sir Robert, why not? We have Bessemer steel and poison gas. The least we could do is help them upgrade their technology to the previous generation from us. I mean, if their army is upgraded, then we won't even have to defend this part of out empire that much."

"Wilkins, I can see why you have never been promoted in colonial service. It is forbidden by the Prime Directive of 1836 to grant technology to other countries. All of the Great Powers and secondary powers are signatories to the Prime Directive. In fact, do you remember when Sweden became a Great Power last year? God save her, but the Queen refused to grant them Great Power recognition until they signed the Prime Directive."

"But Sir Robert, if we could just give Japan Clean Coal, we might not have to import anymore coal from Russian Manchuria. Surely the Queen is tired of lining the pockets of the Russian Czar because we use all of our coal building three times as many steamers as we need?"

"Certainly not, Wilkins. And I don't want to here anymore about it. And before you go, make sure that all those Japanese members of the Emperor's family who will be attending Oxford next year are never allowed to take any science, economics, or philosophy courses. We don't want to inadvertently violate the Prime Directive just because a Japanese royal was accidentally allowed to take a course in Organic Chemistry."

That's hilarious! :rofl:

 

[BootOnFace]

I hereby nominate Secret Master as Public Master of this thread.

BTW:
- The British named the territory south of Columbia Washington, in honour of the rebel General's brave treason and sedition.
- The Machine Gun was in wide use all across the civilised world by 1872.
- The Tank Armored Vehicle was invented in 1905 by the Austrians to break the Yemenite lines in the Acquisition of Austrian Yemen.
- Countries with Liberal parties in power had to import all of their tanks in the early 20th century unless they wanted to keep ridiculously large stockpiles of unused armors.
- Great Powers routinely used mustard gas shells when fighting Anarcho-Liberal rebels or Arabic tribesmen.

 

[Secret Master]

I hereby nominate Secret Master as Public Master of this thread.

Thanks.

The fun part of all this is trying rationalize these quicky mechanics in 19th century terms. I love this game, but the silliness we see sometimes is also great fun.