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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Seelmeister

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A very enjoyable update, how with Lord Norfolk fair against EUIV's improved rebels?

I imagine if you're having a fairly typical experience in the game so far, this could well be the first of many Sherwin has to deal with! The Catholic connection is interesting, could we be seeing some religious rebellions as well as the Cornish rising up?
 

LordTempest

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Given your talent for portraying west country accents in the first Norfolk AAR and the fact that the rebels were Cornish, I did find your choice of accent rather perplexing at first. I thought you were going to do the Spanish jailer at one point, but I actually thought the accent you used read closer to the revolutionary jailer (Chris Barrie?) from the Pimpernel episode in season three. That is to say, it came off more French than it did Spanish.
 

DensleyBlair

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That would be the correct interpretation :).

When I first read it, I of course had a picture of Hugh Laurie's Mad Prince Ludwig in my minds eye, and so I reading it a bit the way he spoke, which was unfair to the way you actually wrote it, and of course not appropriate to a Spaniard, as Hugh was playing a German. I reread it again now and it worked better. Did it sound Spanish? Well I'm not really sure what a parody of a Spaniard should sound like. I only really have Manuel from Faulty Towers to work with :). Parodying German is so much easier.

I will admit, I can't claim to have a great knowledge of the intricacies of Spanish dialects and accents, but Neither can I claim to have been going for completely accuracy in the update, so I'll take Prince Ludwig as a compliment! ;)


Am I to take that as your initial post being facetious, and you just taking the opportunity to use one of my own comments against me? That, sir, is low! ;)

When you referred to me as 'the author' I must admit my suspicions were aroused that you weren't being entirely serious, but in hindsight the accent issue is a valid concern. Whatever your reasons for bringing it up; thanks Gen! ;)

I love it if the game gives you fun rebellions, I got overthrown around times in my Portugal game :rofl:

To my mind the words 'fun' and 'rebellion' don't sit too well together...

Good to see you here, BR.

I don't have a problem with accent. But then again I don't know the accent.:p

I'm not entirely sure I know it... ;)

Thanks for the comment, Nikolai.

A very enjoyable update, how with Lord Norfolk fair against EUIV's improved rebels?

I imagine if you're having a fairly typical experience in the game so far, this could well be the first of many Sherwin has to deal with! The Catholic connection is interesting, could we be seeing some religious rebellions as well as the Cornish rising up?

The Catholic population of England will endeavour to make the rest of the country aware of their presence for the rest of the game. I had a pretty large revolt quite early on. The Cornish rebels are actually Catholic – though they don't stop there. Soon they'll be popping up all over the Home Counties!

Given your talent for portraying west country accents in the first Norfolk AAR and the fact that the rebels were Cornish, I did find your choice of accent rather perplexing at first. I thought you were going to do the Spanish jailer at one point, but I actually thought the accent you used read closer to the revolutionary jailer (Chris Barrie?) from the Pimpernel episode in season three. That is to say, it came off more French than it did Spanish.

I'll take that. I write accents – like most, I imagine – by saying the sentence aloud and then transcribing as best I can. A lot of now I was characterising Egidio was based off our old evil revolutionary friend (you would be correct in that he is portrayed by Mr. Chris Barrie.)

As for the choice of accent itself; the game, in its wisdom, decided that it would be a good idea to give me a Cornish rebellion lead by an 'Egidio Bembo,' who, to me, sounds decidedly not Cornish. I decided that I would draw inspiration from the esteemed Signore Leonardo Acropolis (the artist in 'Money') and write our rebel leader with a really silly Romance accent.

And it should go without saying that we'll be seeing some West Country accents soon enough. ;)



Thank you all for your feedback and opinions. I always appreciate it when, as an author, one can have such a good dialogue with one's readers – especially when stuff like characterisation needs clarification.

Provided I have time after various other commitments this weekend, I hoping to our next update up around Sunday evening or Monday. If not, Wednesday will be the aim.

'Uhzair!
 

aldriq

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I'm impressed by how far Sherwin goes to please Her Majesty/keep his head (and even more by the fact that he survives, especially after the urine-drinking expedition).

As for the accent, well, I must say I agree with other posters, it came across a bit weird, on the Cthulhu side... definitely not Spanish – as a Spaniard myself, I guarantee... And the name seems Italian anyway :p

¡Juzá!
 

DensleyBlair

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Uhzair???? Densly what's wrong with you?

Did no one ever tell you not to be rude about other people's accents? ;)

I'm impressed by how far Sherwin goes to please Her Majesty/keep his head (and even more by the fact that he survives, especially after the urine-drinking expedition).

As for the accent, well, I must say I agree with other posters, it came across a bit weird, on the Cthulhu side... definitely not Spanish – as a Spaniard myself, I guarantee... And the name seems Italian anyway :p

¡Juzá!

I think keeping one's head is a pretty powerful motivator to do just about anything.

As for the accent, I'll reiterate;

Though I'm not in a position to judge whether or not the characterisation is 'Cthulhu-esque' (I've never read any Lovecraft) I'll admit that it definitely isn't Spanish. I think I was aware of this as I was writing it really – and rather sought to portray our Catholic friend with a Blackadder-esque 'silly Romance over-the-top' accent. As a guideline, think of the artist from Money, Leonardo Acropolis. I do know a few Spaniards, so I can definitely see where you're coming from (well, Spain ;)) but I think the key really is, as with the rest of this series, to take it with one's disbelief firmly suspended. ;)

I'll concede that he sounds more Italian, though. I'll have to plead an ignorance of the nuances between the various Romance names of the Age of Discovery. :p



Oh, I almost forgot:

Urrah!
 

aldriq

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As a guideline, think of the artist from Money, Leonardo Acropolis. I do know a few Spaniards, so I can definitely see where you're coming from (well, Spain ;)) but I think the key really is, as with the rest of this series, to take it with one's disbelief firmly suspended. ;)

That character definitely came to mind, after a few seconds and a bit more stretching of my disbelief suspenders...


I'll have to plead an ignorance of the nuances between the various Romance names of the Age of Discovery. :p

I was going to construct a joke with no one is expecting and Spanish and... never mind.
 

DensleyBlair

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ee5b700bc4f844c1db2211422d1bd875_zps0aaf2f9e.jpg

"Right, Turquetil, is my horse ready?"

"You don't have a horse, milord."

"Then go forth into the streets and make it known that Lord Norfolk wishes to buy one."

"One what?"

"Good Lord, I really did luck out when I secured your services as a servant, didn't I?"

"Nah you didn't."

"It seems a quick revision session in rudimentary sarcasm will be in order once we have finished advanced equine biology. Turquetil, go and get me a bloody horse."

"What do want one of them for?"

"Turquetil, I advise you make your inevitable explanation phenomenally good."

"Well, you don't want a bloody horse; it'd be dead before we even got out of town!"

"You will be too if you don't leave soon. Now get out before Nevill arrives and beats you to death with that blunt instrument he carries around between his ears."

"Oh! A hammer!"

"No; the weapon I'm thinking of is small, grey, and just so happens to rhyme with 'pain.' Now get out!"



"Ho there, Sherwin! Did I just pass your servant on the way in?"

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought he would've got out of the building before you arrived. The stench didn't bother you too much, did it?"

"No no, I'm quite alright."

"Of course; I'm sorry, I forgot your nose is more resilient than Henry VIII's codpiece. Now, are you ready for this afternoon's pie eating contest."

"Pie eating contest, my lord? I thought we're going to Cornwall to fight Catholics."

"Oh dear... I am glad that defending oneself against aggressive peasants doesn't require a large understanding of figurative language. Now, where's Turquetil got to? Ah! Speak of the Devil – if, indeed, the Devil was having a particularly bad day. Do you have me a horse?"

"No, milord."

"And why not?"

"..."

"Turquetil, your track record in the explanation field is admittedly poor so I shan't get my hopes up too quickly, but I advise that you exceed yourself rather soon if you wish to stay in my employ much longer."

"I couldn't find one, milord."

"A fine attempt at coherent thought, Turquetil—"

"Oh, thank you, milord. No Turquetil's ever come up with a coherent thought before!"

"No, no – let me finish. A fine attempt at coherent thought, Turquetil, but sadly not good enough. Get out."

"But, milord! I've been in this house since 1534!"

"So has the dry rot in the privy. Now get out before I am forced to encourage you slightly with these small bony things at the end of my feet."

"You mean toes, milord. I'm surprised you of all people forg—"

"Out!"

"Oh come come, Sherwin! You can't get rid of Turquetil! Surely you can think of some reason to keep him?"

"I'm afraid I don't have time, Nevill; we've got to leave in half an hour."

"Please, milord! I could do the work for free..."

"So no changes there, then."

"Well, I could sleep outside, too!"

"You'll really need to come up with something more tempting if you want to stay..."

"What if I found a way to stop the rebels without you having to go to Cornwall?"

"What?"

"Well you see, milord, I have a cunning plan..."

"And what would that be?"

"Well, you know how the Pope is Christ's vicar of girth..."

"I have a feeling this idea's feasibility will soon be heading sharply in a southerly direction."

"Well, milord, I thought that if I could become Pope, I could tell the rebels to stop being revolting and go back to the fields."

"Turquetil, some pretty dire things have come out of your mouth over the years, but that plan is so bad that it could take top prize in the 'Complete Crap' category at this year's Dungworth Parish Village Idiot's Plan of the Year contest. That said, it's all we've got at the moment."

"Well beshrew me, Sherwin! Turquetil? The Pope? He's not even Catholic!"

"Really, Nevill, the world of the papacy does pass you by, doesn't it."

"Yeah; none of the popes are Catholic any more."

"Really?"

"Yes, milord. In fact, Pope Julius III wasn't a cardinal, either. He just turned up drunk outside the doors of St. Peter's Basilica one night and ended up naked in front of the Curia."

"Really? Old Vomity-Cassock? Surely not? Well, I guess he did always seem a bit over-qualified..."

"That settles it then. We'll set off for Rome in the morning – that should give us enough time to bathe Turquetil and find him some clothes that don't smell like they've been worn by an aged baboon who'd really let itself go."

"But Sherwin! Won't the Queen have you executed if we don't to to Cornwall."

"Ah yes – providence spits repeatedly in my codpiece once again."



"Ma'am."

"Sherwin! Why aren't you in Cornwall dealing with those revolting Catholics?"

"I remember when I used to have to deal with the revolting things you left lying around. It seems nary two shakes of a cow's udder since you would walk around saying nothing but 'Lizzy go plop-plop!' And of course it would be Nursie-wursie who would have to clean it all up. And then I have to give your little botty spank and tell it not to be so naughty as to leave mess on the carpet—"

"Be quiet Nursie! Sherwin's trying to speak."

"Well, ma'am, Lord Nevill and I were just on our way to Truro when we had an idea."

"Spit it out!"

"Well, madam, we thought that we could the rebel problem much more effectively if we went to Rome instead."

"What good would going to Rome be? You can't kill rebels from all the way in Rome, can you?"

"If I may finish, ma'am—"

"If you must..."

"Thank you; we would travel to Rome, where we would cunningly infiltrate the Curia and elect a new Pope, who could then tell the rebels to stop revolting."

"Sherwin is being very stupid today, isn't he Sylvy?"

"Quite, majesty. In fact, I might suggest that he just wants to get out of going to Cornwall at all."

"Is that true, Norfolk? Are you scared of a few smelly men?"

"Not at all, your majesty."

"Good. Because otherwise I might just have had to have your block chopped off..."

"Quite, ma'am. I'll just go and pack my bags."



"Fat lot of good that did."

"Well pish and fie! There is nothing for it. We must set off for Cornwall and face our inevitable doom!"

"Judging by the latest military reports to come out of Padstow, inedible might be a better word. Though I'd rather not be impaled by a turnip disguised as a farmer... Hang on – I've had an idea. Of course! I've been so bloody stupid!"

"Do you mean to say, my lord, that you have a plan that can stop us going to Cornwall after all?"

"Yes. And it's so cunning you could slap a silly hat on it and call it Geoffrey of Monmouth. Turquetil, get me some wax, some parchment, some ink and a large red hat..."



To be continued...
 
Last edited:

DensleyBlair

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Intermezzo

Intermezzo

Or; did you really think I'd last the whole AAR without breaking the fourth wall?

"Well, strip off my trousers and paint me purple!"

"I'm sorry, Nevill. I was under the illusion that it was customary to speak English in these parts. Was I misinformed?"

"Oh no, my lord, you're quite right. Why do you ask?"

"Nevermind, Nevill. I'm long past thinking that I can drill any sense into you. Though seeing as it's highly unlikely that you actually want me to make you look like even more of a ponce than you already are, what in God's name are you talking about?"

"Well, Sherwin, I merely wished to express the fact that it's been rather quiet around here lately."

"Oh yes, silly me. Of course, only yesterday I heard men skipping around Cheapside wishing to express how loud it was by exclaiming rather loudly a desire to be beaten and dipped in a large pile of manure – I really should've drawn the connection."

"Well yes, my lord. It does seem rather odd that you missed that, actually. Usually you're the clever one around here."

"Believe me, Nevill, the only way you would be the most intelligent person in the room is if I suddenly died of dysentery."

"Come now!—"

"Oh, sorry, I forgot – Turquetil's still here. Looks like your only hope is moving to the Home Counties."

"Well you have to admit, things have been quiet around here..."

"I'd just assumed that Turquetil had stopped trying to produce his turnip replica of Michelangelo's David."

"Don't worry, milord, I'm still working away at it!"

"Thank goodness. For a moment I thought we were going to have to call off the entire Renaissance."

"Well, Sherwin, if not that, what else?"

"Well, perhaps the King of Naples has finally recalled the diplomatic mission?"

"I must admit, my lord, it is a convincing argument."

"You'd be convinced by Geoffrey de Quack's '101 Everyday Cures for Leprosy'."

"Beshrew me, Sherwin! 'Tis a compelling read!"

"Indeed it is. If, of course, digesting invertebrates is your idea of 'compelling.'— Get the door, Turquetil."

"Of course, milord."

"..."

"It's the Italian ambassador, milord."

"What does he want?"

"I don't know, milord – he's speaking Italian."

"Just tell him to sod off."

"Yes, milord."

"It would seem the Italians haven't gone after all."

"Yes. And it's a bloody shame, too. You would've thought that when I bought the house I would've been told that it came complete with an adjoining room full of loud, flamboyant Mediterraneans trained in the art of public speaking."

"This is quite the mystery, Sherwin. If that's not it, why is it so quiet?"

"I've no idea, Nevill. I've no idea..."



Normal service will be resumed soon.
 

Gen. Marshall

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Hm, I don't really get it I think. You speak of "breaking the fourth wall", which usually means that you address the crowd in person. However, you have not done so yourself (Multatuli-style), so that would imply that the characters were in fact speaking to us.

When looking at the text, this does not seem to be the case either. The characters are describing a situation, namely that it is quiet. The Napolean emissaries seem to be a side-track of the story. So, we can deduce that the "quietness" in the Intermezzo chapter (which incidentally covers the post right after last chapter, which IIRC was posted some time ago) somehow relates to us, the commenters...

...Nah, I don't get it.
 

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Enjoyed the last update, and an interesting aside.

It seems that Norfolk cannot escape to Rome, but what is this cunning plan to avoid the battle? I look forward to the continuation of the story!
 

LordTempest

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Subtle... very subtle, it was certainly better than expressing your thoughts out loud and coming off as desperate in any case. My apologies for not saying so sooner. (but then again, if I had done so we may not have been treated to such a superb interlude :))

I rather liked that little interlude, especially parts involving turnip replicas and the home counties.
 

DensleyBlair

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Hm, I don't really get it I think. You speak of "breaking the fourth wall", which usually means that you address the crowd in person. However, you have not done so yourself (Multatuli-style), so that would imply that the characters were in fact speaking to us.

When looking at the text, this does not seem to be the case either. The characters are describing a situation, namely that it is quiet. The Napolean emissaries seem to be a side-track of the story. So, we can deduce that the "quietness" in the Intermezzo chapter (which incidentally covers the post right after last chapter, which IIRC was posted some time ago) somehow relates to us, the commenters...

...Nah, I don't get it.

Don't worry, Gen. Future 'updates' will be somewhat less confusing. ;)

Enjoyed the last update, and an interesting aside.

It seems that Norfolk cannot escape to Rome, but what is this cunning plan to avoid the battle? I look forward to the continuation of the story!

Thanks Seelmeister. Rest assured, the plan is suitably cunning – though will it work? With Norfolk, it's always hard to say. ;)

Subtle... very subtle, it was certainly better than expressing your thoughts out loud and coming off as desperate in any case. My apologies for not saying so sooner. (but then again, if I had done so we may not have been treated to such a superb interlude :))

I rather liked that little interlude, especially parts involving turnip replicas and the home counties.

I prefer subtle to the I see no one is interested in this so I'll give up type posts we see. That said, I was also in need of a pseudo-update that I could put out, so lamp shading the issue seemed like a good idea.

Glad you enjoyed the interlude.



In other news, update will probably be coming soon. I'm aiming to get some work in this week, then I have the half-term holidays next week, so progress will probably pick up.

Huzzah!
 

aldriq

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"Well, strip off my trousers and paint me purple!"

Clearly Turquetil's turnip-carving abilities and Nevill's speech craft are the forces behind the English Renaissance in this timeline, why deny it? :rofl:
 

DensleyBlair

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Clearly Turquetil's turnip-carving abilities and Nevill's speech craft are the forces behind the English Renaissance in this timeline, why deny it? :rofl:

I imagine that even with their combined brain power, the pair still think 'Renaissance' is a French man. :p
 

Davout

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I imagine that even with their combined brain power, the pair still think 'Renaissance' is a French man. :p

I think you will find the correct quote is that:

"The Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it Turquetil?"

I am also looking forward to the day when we see Bob bob up for some manly japes. And speaking of promised updates...
 

DensleyBlair

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I think you will find the correct quote is that:

"The Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it Turquetil?"

Baaah! Sure you of all people know the industry rules?

"One must never use a joke on more than one occasion in the same piece unless one lampshades its appearance." :p

I am also looking forward to the day when we see Bob bob up for some manly japes. And speaking of promised updates...

I'm sure Bob will appear soon. Not this episode, but soon after, I imagine. As for said update, it's half finished. The whole idea of a half-term holiday being for resting, playing Paradox games and writing is apparently not the convention. I've been mercilessly assailed by English and art coursework.

Huzzah! (If, of course, you like closely analysing Of Mice and Men...)
 

LordTempest

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The best way to turn off a student towards reading a particular book (or indeed reading itself) is to force that student not only to read said book, but also to analyse it, page by page with the equivalent of a fine-tooth comb. :)
 

aldriq

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The best way to turn off a student towards reading a particular book (or indeed reading itself) is to force that student not only to read said book, but also to analyse it, page by page with the equivalent of a fine-tooth comb. :)

True, but it works both ways – I remember hating Don Quijote while having to do the text analysis at school, then when I read it a few years later I thoroughly enjoyed it. But how much of that later appreciation was due to what I'd learned during the analysis? (And equally, how much of it due to not having any homework associated with it?) :)
 

Davout

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Baaah! Sure you of all people know the industry rules?

"One must never use a joke on more than one occasion in the same piece unless one lampshades its appearance." :p



I'm sure Bob will appear soon. Not this episode, but soon after, I imagine. As for said update, it's half finished. The whole idea of a half-term holiday being for resting, playing Paradox games and writing is apparently not the convention. I've been mercilessly assailed by English and art coursework.

Huzzah! (If, of course, you like closely analysing Of Mice and Men...)

I'm sorry. Can I still tend the rabbits, George? I didn't mean no harm, George....