I agree. I find it quite mystifying how people can spend literal hours complaining about the game instead of e.g. playing another game that they like more. It's like a horrifying toxic relationship where someone detest their partner's guts but instead of leaving and moving on just continues to insult that person.
I think your analogy is apt (though I don't understand what's mystifying about it). I fell in love with Stellaris when I played version 1.0, it was a breath of fresh air, light and bubbly. Each major version update was like an upgrade in the relationship. Promises of future joy, followed by months of excitement. DLC releases were like new children being born. This gradual progress continued up until 1.9.1, after all the positives we decided things couldn't keep improving without some drastic changes... So Stellaris redecorated (reworks), started drinking (added major bugs), had an affair and turned to prostitution (DLC visibility experiment, mobile spin-off with plagarism, lots of small DLCs)...
Now with 2.7.2 it's 3 years later and things are pretty rough. It's hard to throw away all that was good, the happy memories and the feeling of investment. It's easy to say that people should make a clean break but there's a reason so many people stay in abusive relationships. They have hope, sometimes it's a slim hope but even that is enough to make people want to fight to make things better, rebuild, salvage something and help each other learn from past mistakes. If you love something, it's hard to stand by as it debases itself. Criticism of the game is like pointing out a drinking problem. Stellaris hears, but is unwilling to make the changes that need to be made... It's been 3 years since Stellaris was last sober, now it's sluggish and struggles to put together a sentence but you know underneath, with a bit of work, there's something truly beautiful.
Toxic: "Paradox doesn't give a shit about this game, they just want to sell you shitty DLCs and line their pockets. You're wasting your time trying to communicate with the devs because they don't care."
I don't think that a statement like this is without value. If you break it up it's got 3 parts:
1. Feeling of abandonment (fewer Devs working on the project)
2. Lack of Developer communication (the Devs being silent)
3. DLC/sales seem to be a priority, DLC quality has dropped, perhaps indicating a lack of investment or the expectation that things will only be fixed at the same time something is being sold to you. Little aftercare. (e.g. the experiment with DLC visibility, having a DLC announcement with no (free features), (bug fixes) posts as they once did).
Wheras the first message;
Not toxic: "It's really irritating that the game has been in a broken state for so long, I'm really disappointed and I want it fixed. I paid for this game and I expect it to function correctly."
Has the following parts:
1. The game is broken. (we all know that)
2. I expect something broken to be fixed. (that's implicit when you say something is broken. You aren't pointing it out because you enjoy bugs and want to keep them)
If anything I'd say the non-toxic argument is of far less value than the toxic one. By trying to sound more polite you strip away the true feelings and underlying arguments. The toxic part is the emotion, the interpretation of the actions and motives of another person or entity. Those interpretations can be wrong, but the cause for those angry feelings must exist somewhere. It takes a bit of work to unpick an angry message, but there's a great deal of meaning there if you try.
Edit: I'm not trying to advise people to be "toxic", merely saying that labeling any angry comment as toxic wastes relevant feedback. Lots of swearing, lies or personal attacks should be dealt with by the moderators (with warnings, suggestions to curb language, corrections in the case of lies, timeouts etc.) but what is left, however angrily it is presented, has value.