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What nations can you play in EU 2..? could you make alist please and is it good?
What rates would you gives it as im thinking of buying it.

ps- how much is it and whats the latest version out, were can i bye it???

Cheers in advance :)
 
Danny Sherinam said:
What nations can you play in EU 2..? could you make alist please and is it good?
What rates would you gives it as im thinking of buying it.

ps- how much is it and whats the latest version out, were can i bye it???

Cheers in advance :)

Danny, you probably should ask these questions in the main EU2 discussion forum rather than hijacking this thread. With apologies to Farquharson, let me give you a couple of quick answers.

On a scale of 1-10, I rate EU2 as 20. I don't know where you can buy it now, but do yourself a favor and find it somewhere and buy it.

In EU2 you can play any country in Europe plus many in North Africa, the Middle East, and Asia; also several pagan nations from Africa and America are available.

I urge you to check out the main forum for more information on this great game.
 
Great writing and entertaining story. Oh, yes, and it is also funny :d Keep on writing.
 
Oh - posts, posts, posts! Yum!

Stroph1, coz1: Here's a mysterious coincidence - every one of the Muslim nations I know of have relations with me at -200! I think there's a conspiracy afoot... And here's something even spookier - the only other Provence AAR I've found (written in French) was by someone calling himself "mosquito"... :D

stnylan: Ditching the French - hmmm. Unfortunately I need the French as my staunch allies, so I can continue to keep my army at a mega-paltry level and have the French fight all my wars for me :) . Other potential allies of any size are kind of thin on the ground in my neighbourhood. My plan is to stick with France while gradually getting bigger and bigger, then, when they're struggling with the Reformation or something - WHAM! I take them on. I could even let them have Maine early on, and take it from them last so I have a CB on them as long as I want :) .

Another reason for sticking with the French is that I can keep the story closer to actual history, thus weaving in more wacky fact with the wacky fiction... :D

Troggle: Tell me about it! I even have people accusing me of being legendary right here in my own AAR! :p To subscribe - er... I forget. I think once you've posted a reply in a thread you're automatically subscribed anyway. That's been my experience anyway, and the reason I don't know how to subscribe otherwise. Can someone confirm that?

jwolf: Thanks!

Danny S: I hope by now you've taken jwolf's excellent advice and found out lots of information elsewhere in the forum. I'd only add that I thought 20 out of 10 was a bit stingy. :) IIRC I bought my copy of EU2 from Amazon UK for the laughable price of £7.49.

Nalivayko: Thanks - and happy birthday! ;)


Chapter 3: 1434 - 1437
How Provence got Suddenly Bigger

At the end of the last chapter Louis III d’Anjou had just died, victim of a ruthless six-legged assassin. In 1432 he had finally got around to marrying Margaret of Savoy, youngest daughter of Amédée VIII le Paisible, but in their two years of wedded bliss she had borne him no children. Despite his arduous duties as army commander, his brother René, along with his wife Isabelle of Lorraine, had certainly found time to make up for this shortcoming, and the House of Anjou was literally crawling with their numerous offspring.

Tree1434.JPG

It will be recalled that Joanna II of Naples had adopted René as her heir, but only after she had first adopted Alfonse V of Aragon as her heir, then renegued on this. Of course, René had been the rightful King of Naples all along, even without being adopted by Joanna II. It was thus a mystery to the Angevins how Alfonse V had managed to stick his arrogant Aragonese nose into this particular royal succession at all, but stuck there it was, and it spelled trouble.

René decide that charm and diplomacy was the best approach, and he persuaded the Aragonese to accept a royal marriage with the House of Anjou in November 1434. Shortly after this he went to Paris to check up on another Angevin royal marriage, that of his sister Marie and her husband, Charles VII of France. Unfortunately, he caught Charles at an awkward moment:


His Most Christian Majesty Charles VII of France, disentangling himself from the arms of a ravishing blonde maid-in-waiting: Err, oh - um, hello René! It’s, er... great to see you. What an... er - pleasant surprise!

René duc d’Anjou, comte de Provence, peering closely at the ravishing blonde: Er... that’s not my sister...

Charles VII: Well, er, no technically it isn’t... Let me introduce you - this is, er... Sophie. Sophie, this is René d’Anjou, my - er - brother-in-law.

Sophie, fluttering her eyelashes: Enchantée, monsieur...

René: But... but.. this is adultery!

Charles VII, with a charming smile: Monsieur le comte - this is France...

René: Does Marie know about this?

Charles VII, shocked: But of course not, mon vieux! That would cause a scandale!

René: Well, where is she now? Because she’s going to know soon...

Charles VII: René, calm down! I’m sure we can come to some arrangement here...

René, looking shrewd: Arrangement? What sort of arrangement?

Charles VII: Well, it just so happens I was about to declare war on those treacherous Auvergnats - you may have heard that they just made an alliance with the witless Portuguese instead of with us. Such impudence!

René: Yes, quite. But what has this got to do with Marie and - madame, here?

Charles VII: Well, my dear René, I just thought that if you decided not to trouble Marie with any - er - distressing news, you might find yourself with an extra province under the old Angevin belt...

René: You mean the Cévennes...?

Charles VII: ...could soon be yours, mon ami!

René: Ahem, well, as you say, this is France, and all that. Perhaps it’s really best for Marie if we don’t mention anything to her...

Charles VII: Wonderful! Now, Sophie, I think we will have see to our unfinished business another time. Come, René - let us go and find your charming sister...

CharlesVII.JPG

Charles VII, pictured here in one of his more Christian moments​

Charles declared war on Auvergne the following day, and their Portuguese allies promptly deserted them, which was unfortunate for them as they didn’t actually have an army of their own. René quickly returned south to lead his small army of 3000 cavalry into the mountains of the Cévennes. After some general pillaging they were joined by a large French army in December, with whom they settled down to besiege Aurillac. Charles VII remained in Paris and discussed the course of the war at great length with Sophie, which was strange as there was very little to discuss...

In February 1435 news reached René that Joanna II of Naples had died at the age of 64, after a dissolute life of scandal and incompetent rule. René was of course deeply saddened by this news, but found comfort when he suddenly remembered that she had named him her successor. Suddenly Provence owned the Kingdom of Naples, minus the island of Sicily, which was currently occupied by the arrogant Aragonese. It was of course a tricky moment, as René could not really leave the siege of Aurillac to attend his coronation, but luckily the people of Naples were very understanding about this.


Naples.JPG

A view of Naples, with Mount Vesuvius in the distance​

The people of Aragon were not in the least understanding, however, and a herald from Alfonse V arrived at René’s camp the following month:

Herald from Alfonse V, King of Aragon: Your Highness, I bring greetings from His Majesty King Alfonse V.

René duc d’Anjou, comte de Provence, King of Naples and Sicily: Well, how very nice. Tell him I send him greetings myself. Good day to you.

Herald: Actually, that wasn’t all.

René: Oh? And what else did King Alfonse V have to say?

Herald: King Alfonse V of Aragon, Naples and Sicily wishes you to know that he looks with displeasure on your unlawful occupation of Naples.

René: Ahem - well, “unlawful” may not be quite the word he’s looking forward, actually. “Unwelcome”, from his point of view perhaps. “Unexpected”, I daresay. But it is in fact entirely lawful.

Herald: And who says it is lawful?

René: Er - well, God actually, since you ask.

Herald: What?!

René: Speaking through his most sacred ambassador here below, His Holiness Pope Eugene IV.

Herald: Yes, well, perhaps His Holiness got that message a bit wrong. In any case, I will report your stubborn intransigence to His Majesty King Alfonse V, and I think you can safely assume that you have not heard the last from him on this matter.

However for the time being Alfonse V was too pre-occupied with a war against Tuscany, Modena, Siena and His Holiness Pope Eugene IV, which had begun, ironically enough, when he had declared war on Naples in 1431. The House of Anjou were still tied to Aragon by a royal marriage, but apart from that relations were strained to say the least.

The people of Aurillac finally surrendered to René in October 1435, but when they found themselves annexed into the growing Provençal nation, they immediately rose in revolt the following month. René’s small army, now without French support, were ignominiously driven out of the province and retreated to Lyon. By the following June, however, reinforcements had arrived from Marseille and René had no trouble in dealing with the rebels. And still the looming threat of Aragon remained nothing more than that...


Provence1436.JPG

Territories of the House of Anjou in 1436
The six provinces: Maine, Cévennes, Provence, Piemonte, Napoli and Apulia​
 
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I tried before to make a scenario about Provence - it is great to see that all the events I dreamt about are here already. Good job on that update - one question though. CB on Sicily - did you get it when inheriting Naples or before?
 
great
At the moment i am doing just the same with the anjou family by ruling all of england and half of france as England on the mongol mod.
Those Anjous get everywhere..........
 
Good progress.

About subscribing - in your options in the User CP you can choose the option to automatically subscribe to any thread you post in. I believe it is the default option.

you can also subscribe to a thread by clicking on the thread tools button at the top of each thread page, and clicking the relevant option in the pop-down menu.
 
Malaria is one of thos disease which only occurs in the tropics ;)

It must have been one of those evil Moslem nations around the equator. I suggest that you take a hard look at those Indonesian and Indian sultanates (as soon as you actually discover them and are able to look at them at all)... I feel certain that it was the Sultan of Brunei who did it.
 
Pablo Sanchez said:
Malaria is one of thos disease which only occurs in the tropics ;)

It must have been one of those evil Moslem nations around the equator. I suggest that you take a hard look at those Indonesian and Indian sultanates (as soon as you actually discover them and are able to look at them at all)... I feel certain that it was the Sultan of Brunei who did it.

Surely you can use this as a cause for war when you get to that part of the world, or am I getting ahead of myself? :D
 
nalivayko: Provence has cores on Napoli and Apulia from the start of the game, but gets additional cores on the two Sicilian provinces after the inheritance event.

Van Engel: I agree about those Anjous. I hesitated for a while before embarking on a Provence AAR, but it was the fascinating exploits of the House of Anjou that finally persuaded me :) .

King Yngvar: Errm... I don't really have a land route to Austria at the moment. Frankly I get into so many wars just by being Provence and being allied to France, I'm not looking for extra ones :wacko: . It'd be nice if someone else eliminated the BWB, though :D .

stnylan: Thanks for clearing up the subscription question ;) .

Pablo S: Apparently malaria used to be rife in the marshy areas around Rome, which is where (historically) Louis III probably caught it, while campaigning in Italy. The odd mosquito may have strayed as far as Marseille by mistake, but I prefer the conspiracy theory :D .

Troggle: I didn't have plans for conquering India or Indonesia, but games sometimes do end up a bit different from expected... ;)

Chapter 4: 1437 - 1440
War and Pizza

On the death of Joanna II of Naples in 1435 René d’Anjou, comte de Provence had found himself King of Naples and Sicily and began eating lots of pizza. Naples came under his control immediately, but Sicily was under Aragonese occupation, and Alfonse V of Aragon, who claimed that he was rightful King of Naples and Sicily, was uttering dire threats against René. The only thing that stood between René and the might of Aragon was his powerful ally France. Unfortunately Charles VII seemed to be tiring of this relationship, although he did see fit to issue a guarantee of Provence’s independence in 1438.

In 1439 René launched a major diplomatic campaign. He began by sending a crateload of pizza Napolitana to Filippo Maria Visconti, duke of Milan, in the hope that eventually he might agree to becoming René’s vassal. Next he arranged a royal marriage with his ally Hessen, to further solidify the French Alliance. Finally in May he sent a crate of pizza to Charles VII, which drastically improved their relationship. Later that month, Alfonse V of Aragon paid a state visit to Marseille to discuss the Naples issue with René. René was just having lunch:


Pizza.JPG

René’s new diplomatic weapon​

René, munching a mouth-watering slice of pizza: Mmmm... Oh, hello Alfonse, how nice to see you! Excuse me, I’m just having a bite to eat - and very delicious it is too...

Alfonse V, King of Aragon, self-styled King of Naples and Sicily: Hey, don’t mind me.

René: Perhaps you’d like some of this delicious pizza yourself? Oh wait, no, I forgot - you’re Iberian of course. You wouldn’t be interested in Italian food.

Alfonse: Well, actually...

René: No, no, don’t say another word! My chef does an excellent Olla Barrejada. He’ll have it rustled up in no time.

Alfonse V: Really, pizza would be fine...

René: Oh, I know you’re just saying that. You Aragonese probably hate the stuff. Me - I love it! Mmmm... Look at all the toppings on this one - mushrooms, olives, anchovies, tuna, mozzarella...

Alfonse V: Well, while you’re stuffing your greedy Angevin face maybe we can get down to business?

René: Business? Oh, I thought it was just a social call...

Alfonse V: Sorry, but I wouldn’t waste my time on a social call to your pitiful excuse for a ducal court.

René: Royal court, if you don’t mind, Alfie. Remember, I’m King of Naples and Sicily now.

Alfonse V: Ahem, well that was the business, as a matter of fact. The point is, I’m afraid I don’t share your opinion about the validity of your claim to Naples, never mind Sicily.

René: Well, that’s too bad, really. Hmm - I wish the chef would hurry along with your Olla Barrejada. I must say I’m so enjoying this pizza. So I think you’ve kind of wasted your time anyway, if that’s all the business you came to discuss.

Alfonse V: Well, here’s my proposal. Either you hand over Naples immediately, or we march over your armies, grinding your fat Angevin faces into the dirt, and take it by force.

René: Hmm. Yes, I’d heard diplomacy wasn’t exactly your strongpoint, Alfie. If you think you can take on the might of the French Alliance, you’re welcome to try. Meanwhile, let’s chat about something less nettlesome while we wait for your stew.

Alfonse V: Actually, I seem to have lost my appetite all of a sudden. I think I’ll be on my way. My advice is - enjoy your pizza while you can still get it. Good-bye.

As soon as he arrived back in Barcelona, Alfonse unleashed what came to be known as the Pizza War. The whole French Alliance came to René’s aid, whereas Alfonse’s Castilian allies deserted him and he was supported only by Foix. Richemont, who commanded the Provençal Army in Naples, quickly took up a defensive position in Apulia, but was defeated in a ferocious battle in July and escaped to Napoli with fewer than a thousand cavalry remaining of his army. The Aragonese, themselves having suffered heavy losses, were unable to mount a siege of Taranto, and spent the rest of the war pillaging the area.

René went to defend Marseille from possible Aragonese landings. Sure enough, two attempts were made in September, but René drove them both back into the sea. Meanwhile the proud Provençal Navy, consisting of three warships under Commodore de Sagazan, sailed out of Marseille harbour towards the Straits of Messina. There they were engaged by a single Aragonese galley which somehow managed to sink one of them, and chase the other two to the port of Napoli. It was a humiliating defeat.


Navy.JPG

The proud Provençal Navy getting thrashed​

The French had by now begun a siege of Perpignan, which they considered to be unlawfully occupied by the Aragonese, who insisted on calling it Perpinya. René marched his army there now, arriving on Christmas Day 1439 and immediately taking command. The city was captured in April, shortly after the only Aragonese attempt to break the siege had failed.

Alfonse V not surprisingly refused to hand over the province of Roussillon to René. Instead he offered René 72 ducats in indemnities with a dish of paella thrown in for good measure. Since René’s main objective in the war was to end it, he accepted the ducats and fed the paella to his dog, which died the following day. Relations between the two claimants to the Neapolitan throne remained at a low ebb. René withdrew to the Cévennes once more, while Richemont, with a reinforced army, returned to his defensive position in Apulia.


Doggy.JPG

René’s dog - last heroic casualty of the Pizza War​
 
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Mmmmm, pizza...very nice. :rofl:
 
Hey, where's the picture of Rene's dog?
 
This is hilarious! Great writting, nice to see you could continue your unbroken string of humorous AARs! I especially like the Pizza War. :rofl:
 
Very funny indeed. Clearly the Aragonese had a prototype-Virginia or something with that galley.