There might be Vikings out there! Or: how I accidentally traded my wife for a halibut

[Grubnessul]

Comagoosie: Your welcome. And yea, Thor is most definity silly (though I hope he doesn't read this...) and deserves that spot. I considered putting myself under 'the silly' aswell, but I thought it wouldn't testify of much self esteem to do so.

Bingo Brett: Thank you, sir!

Canonized: That's my job, isn't it?

 

[canonized]

ROFL when I first started reading that last update I was like "this sounds familiar" ROFL and then I got to "Victory was near! But the power of the Burgundians could not be undone…" ROFL and I realized how easily I fell into the trap XD

 

[ColossusCrusher]

I caught the Sauron reference at the end, and Star Wars Piet, but what were the others?

 

[Grubnessul]

w00t! Over 10k views! Towards the next 10k, keep clicking!

Canonized:

Glad you liked it.

ColoaauaCrusher: Those were the only ones, good finds

 

[Enewald]

I'm scared...
This just gets odder update by update.

 

[comagoosie]

I hope the 10k items are on sale, or else I ain't buying anything

Anyways, congrats on the achievment.

 

[Bingo Brett]

w00t! Can we buy Thor's pink underwear? Preferrably not used... :wacko: (and Gratz on 10K views)

 

[Garak]

Hmmm I expected atleast one reply about the explorers trade union name, guess it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be...

Lol, I got it. Made me chuckle.

 

[Garak]

Olav V: Fellow Vikings, I come to you in the wake of recent events to issue a call to silliness. Let no drunken bastard deny the perils of our time. While we battle one another, divided be the petty strife of this randomly generated history, the tide of greater conflict is turning against us, threatening to destroy all that we have accomplished. It is time for us as Vikings and as lousy Germans to set aside our long-standing feuds and unite. The tides of an very fun war are upon us and we must seek refuge on higher ground lest we be swept away by the crap. The Austrian Empire is no more, for the time being, whatever semblance of unity and protection it once provided is a phantom...a memory.

With our enemies left unchecked, who will you turn to for protection? The devastation wrought by those strange and funny smelling invaders is self-evident. We have seen our donuts and porno magazines destroyed by the calculated blows of the astonishingly angry Austrian armies. We have seen first hand our friends and loved ones consumed by the savage Swedish swashbucklers. Unprecedented and pretty much fun though they may be, these are the signs of our time. The time has come, my fellow Vikings, to rally to a new banner. In unity lies strength; already many of the dissident idiots have been annexed.

Out of the many we shall forge an indivisible whole capitulating only to a single throne. And from that throne I shall oppress your silly butts. From this day forward let no Viking make war upon a stupidly enough annexed German, let no smelly agency conspire against this new beginning. And let no man consort with foreign powers... and to all the enemies of Vikingkind seek not to bar our way, for we shall win through, no matter the cost.

Lüneburg monarch: hmm sounds fun, I’ll join you.

*Annexed*

StarCraft

 

[ColossusCrusher]

Whose speech?

 

[canonized]

Whose speech?

Mengsk of course XD

http://youtube.com/watch?v=F9bVlmjs2_o

 

[Grubnessul]

Garak: Welcome! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

CollosusCrusher: What Canonized said

Canonized: Ofcourse!

 

[Grubnessul]

Me, Lackey?

Finally, our brave Vikings manage to enter peace negotiations with the brutal Burgundian brutes At the palace of Regency Council, Harold is sitting in the waiting room, reading some local Burgundian pr0n.

Harold: Halibut!

*Some guy dressed up as a lackey enters the waiting room to escort Harold to the chamber where Regency Council is waiting for him*

Lackey: Mr. Hammerhoft?

Harold: Me, Lackey?

Lackey: No, me Lackey, you Mr. Hammerhoft.

Harold: But Regency Council, Lackey?

Lackey: No, Regency Council boss, me Lackey.

Servant: This way please, Mr. Hammerhoft.

Harold: Me, servant?

Lackey: No, he servant, me Lackey, you Mr. Hammerhoft.

French maid: Mr. Lackey?

Lackey (pointing randomly at the other persons present): Me French maid, you servant, he Mr. Hammerhoft

French maid: No, Lackey

Lackey: No Lackey, make coffee, feed the fish.

Servant: Clean, Lackey?

Lackey: Clean Lackey, call random exploration dude, serve me

Servant: You, Lackey?

Lackey: ME Lackey! You servant, you Mr. Hammerhoft.

Harold (now totally confused): But Regency Council, Lackey?

Lackey: Regency Council not Lackey. Regency Council boss, be servant, serve me French maid, you coffee?

Harold: Coffee, Lackey?

Lackey: Yes, please!

Annoyed as he was after falling to the oldest make-sure-someone-buys-you-a-cup-of-coffee-without-acting-as-a-cheap-ass-trick in the book, Harold decapitated Lackey and entered a random room with the words “Regency Council” on it.

Servant: Halibut!?!

The doors, saying “Regency Council” on the outside, shut behind Harold as he enters.

Harold: Howdy boys! So what kind of fancy treaty we sign this time?

Regency Council: None shall sign a treaty.

Harold: What?

Regency Council: None shall sign a treaty.

Harold: I’m done quarrelling with you, good sir Regency Council, so we must sign a peace treaty!

Regency Council: Than we shall annex you!

Harold: I command you as Harold Hammerhoft of prince and greatest moron of Vikingly Norway to sign a peace treaty!

Regency Council: We sign a treaty with no man!

Harold: So be it!

*The Vikings take back Oldenburg*

Harold: Now sign the peace treaty, worthy adversary!

Regency Council: This but a scratch!

Harold: A scratch? We kicked your army out of Norway!

Regency Council: No you didn’t!

*Harold shows the Regency Council the political map*

Harold: Than what’s that?

Regency Council: We’ve seen worse!

Harold: You’re a liar!

Regency Council: Come on you pansy!

*Yohan, his Midgets and the mercenaries under Big Fred kick the Burgundian army out of Friesland, Holland, Utrecht and Zeeland*

Harold: Victory is ours!

*Harold is about to sign the treaty when the Regency Council orders a counter attack*

Regency Council: Come on then!

Harold: You are indeed brave, Burgundian bastards, but the war is ours!

Regency Council: Oh, had enough, eh?

Harold: You stupid bastards, you’ve got no armies left!

Regency Council: Yes we have!

Harold: No, look, Yohan decimated them!

Regency Council: This but a few skirmish casualties!

* Regency Council spawns a lot more 1000 men armies*

Harold: Look, would you stop that?

Regency Council: Chicken! Chicken!

Harold: We’ll occupy your Dutch provinces for that!

*And Yohan and his Midgets do so*

Regency Council: Right! We’ll have you for that!

Harold: What are you going to do? Spawn more 1000 men armies?

Regency Council: We’re invincible!

Harold: You’re loony…

Regency Council: The Burgundians always triumph! Have at you! Come on then!

*Yohan and his Midgets beat another Burgundian army*

Harold: Okay, let’s call it a draw.

*Harold leaves the room and the flabbergasted Regency Council*

Just as Harold leaves the room, a British ambassador runs in, completely out of breath.

British ambassador (while gasping for breath): Hey wait! We Bri…

*Screen turns black*

Next: British ‘n Blunders

 

[Grubnessul]

Now that was a silly update, I'll try to update more soonish the next time... (Unless the EU:Rome demo sucks me up again >.<)

 

[canonized]

ROFL . I haven't seen that scene in a while . What're you going to do BLEED on me ?! XD one of my favourite lines ever .

 

[TheExecuter]

Mmm...methinks the Burgundian army is full of Sir Robins...

TheExecuter

 

[ColossusCrusher]

Sweet!

 

[Enewald]

Now that was a silly update, I'll try to update more soonish the next time... (Unless the EU:Rome demo sucks me up again >.<)

Rome demo.... mwuahahahaha.... it is only 20 years....
But you can play any nation.

And that is a good reason the stop updating.

 

[comagoosie]

I love monty python.

Anyways, it seems Burgundy didn't have the smartest of regency councils. Though there was that cliff hanger at the end about the silly british, which left me wondering what will happen next.

 

[Grubnessul]

British ‘n Blunders

Meanwhile in Walhalla:

Thor: Gentlemen, we have a problem. Our world-wide conspiracy is in serious danger.

…

Thor: Really? What has happened?

Thor: Our greatest fear has come to be.

Thor: What do you mean? We ran out of fabric softener so our pink underwear won’t be nice and soft anymore?

Thor: No it’s worse.

Thor: We’ve encountered a world-wide-conspiracy-to-counter-our-world-wide-conspiracy!

Thor: What?

Thor: Yes, it’s true, Yohan Andersson and his thousand trained, senseless typing monkeys have created EU: Rome.

(Note by the author: for Yohan’s typing monkey, see also the episode ‘Him’)

Thor: So what’s wrong with that? They did also release NA already, didn’t they?

Thor: Yes they did, but that isn’t that bad. You see, Grubnessul is the reincarnation of Napoleon, so that’s no problem. But now we have competition from the Roman gods.

Thor: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKSSSS

Thor: Now see what you’ve done, ‘Roman’ is an awful tinny word.

Thor: I’m sorry.

Thor: Anyway, this could set our plans considerably back in time.

Thor: What was our plan again?

Thor: … ehm… read the script!

Meanwhile in Denmark:

Harold: What are those British Bastards still doing here? Don’t they know that we’ve signed a truce with the Burgundian Brutes?

Barf: Dunno, maybe they’re upset about something?

Harold: Why would they be?

Barf: Erhm…

Harold: Anyway, this is silly, they’re trapped on their boats and we’re in Denmark. Would you send a diplomat to them to ask them to go away and (@_@#$ themselves?

Narrator: Ofcourse, the first time a diplomat tried this failed to convince the British Bastards of this and so did the second, and the third

And the forth…

And the fifth.

The sixth diplomat, however, was Swedish from origin, so no person in their right mind would understand what he was saying. The British, who are (as is well known) out of their mind, understood and liked this fellow, so they gave him a lot of their disgusting lukewarm beer. As the diplomat had his tongue bitten out during an attempt to French kiss a Doberman-pincher at a bachelor party (yea, he was that drunk) he actually liked it.

The British were flabbergasted with a foreigner drinking their lukewarm beer that they accepted the peace treaty he carried with him. They even invited him to come and live with them. The tongue-less diplomat became a very important man amongst the British Bastards and eventually he even married the beautiful princess of the country. When the old king died, he became king and together with his beautiful wife he would rule wisely for many many years. And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

Anyway, at that moment in Walhalla:

Thor: EEEEEK you said ‘Roman’ again. I’ve asked you not to say that dreadful word.

Thor: I’m sorry, my dear.

Thor: Greek has a nice woody sound to it.

Thor: Yes, Greek… Greeeeeeeeeeeeeek… Greeeeeek.
Thor: What about Carthagian? It has something woody but also something tinny about it?

Thor: Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. We were here to discuss the problem of Yohan Andersson and his monkeys!

Thor: Yes, you’re right. What about it?

*Knocking on the door*

Thor: We’re in the middle of a meeting, what’s it?

Henk, the cleaning dude guy of Walhalla: Ehm, Thor… the other ancient Norwegian mythological gods just called, they’re invited over at the gang on the Olympus for teatime, so they won’t make it to your little meeting.

Thor:…

*A British ambassador runs into the meeting room*

British ambassador (while gasping for breath): Hey wait! We Bri…

*Screen turns black*

Next: Beyond Burgundy. Or: Greedy Germans, Kool Kings and Incredible Ideas