Them Crazy Swedes

[unmerged(47162)]

ahh to celebrate my birthday i might as well present to the forums my poor attempt at humor! and of course whats funnier than swedes? so expect plenty of poorly written jokes and maybe some :rofl: out of pity!

 

[unmerged(58579)]

Aye, keep it cummin!
if we dont die from it we'll get stronger eh?
a good laugh is always me fancy and if i cant get that, ill settle for a bad one, the next day you cant feel the difference anyway

 

[unmerged(47162)]

It was a dark and stormy night...(isnt it weird how stuff starts out like this?) Gustav V awoke with a fright..

Gustav V: A dream...I must populate the earth with low cost home furnishings stores! Only then shall the world realize the true might of Sweden! Muhahahaha!!! After all who shall stop me? The Danes? Pfft. We got the Nobel Prize and blonde Swedish girls. What do the Danes got? They only got their fancy-smancy hotdog...and nothing else! You know what else we got? This nifty island!

Gustav V:Got land? The Danes sure dont! :rofl: (action taken by GustaW) And I also forgot! Yarr matey I'm talkin' like a piraate becaus' it talk like a piirate day. You dont seeee any Daaanes taalkin' liike a piiirate dooo youu? Yarr Sweedes rock! Ok pirate time over. I still need a name for my low cost home furnishing stores..a name...Thinking makes me hungry...Might as well get a hotdog...But not a Danish hotdog! Death to Denmark!

*Advisor pop out of nowhere and whispers in GustaW's ear*

Gustav V: What? I'm not allowed to say what? Death to Denmark? Why not I'm the freaking King of Sweden!

*Advisor murmurs*

Gustav V: The FCC will sue me?! But they dont exist yet!

*Advisor murmurs*

Gustav V: Established in 1934!? But they cant control me..I'm in Sweden!

*Advisor murmurs*

Gustav V: What? They can? Well that sucks...Thats it I'm changing my slogan to "Death to the FCC!" (begins chanting) "They suck! I rule! They suck! I rule!"

*Advisor murmurs*

Gustav V: Whats that? Jante Law? Whats that?

*Advisor pulls out a copy of something*

Gustav V: What? And we believe in this? Ahh this is too much for me to handle in one hour. Back to sleep. WHERE IS THE ROYAL MAGICIAN?

TRM: Right here sire.

Gustav V: Put me to sleep!

*TRM takes out shiny pocket watch and chain*

TRM: You are getting sleeeepy sleeeepy....

*Gustav V falls to floor in a clump*

TRM: I cant believe I'm pulling double duty as The Royal Magician and The Royal Floor Sweeper...Into the bed you go.

*heaves GustaW on bed*

 

[GeneralHannibal]

:rofl: :rofl:
Happy Birthday again!

 

[unmerged(18239)]

that was a great attempt mister lifeless Waiting for the Ikea's

 

[unmerged(58579)]

nice start there, keep it up

and by the way Gustav is right, Jantelaw suxx big time.
how about the king coups the country and takes over the rule for good, then he could name the worldspannin chain of stores Gustavus

GO GO GO

PS: there are fine estates in finland, Vaasa is a nice place, why not "visit" Finland after the coup

 

[unmerged(51077)]

Lol :rofl: , I must say I find that somwhat amusing Mr. Lifeless please keep it coming , and you know Janteloven was actually invented by a Norwegian writer

 

[Snake IV]

Christian X: What is all this about. Everyone should know that I own the monopoly of picking down on Swedes and that saying anything offensive of Denmark ain't accepteble a all. Also, anyone at all threatening my controll of the North will be sent to legoland.

Snake IV: Quiet you. There's no monopoly and the veiw on Swedes are accepibly low. However lifeless should change his Danish veiws.

 

[stnylan]

Good for a chuckle or three, and I am hopeful for more in the future.

 

[unmerged(60155)]

hahaha, i enjoyed this first update and am looking forward to more

 

[Lord E]

Nice to see a new AAR lifless.
And this is very funny. That king is one crazy man :rofl:

 

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Simon-1979: nah there wont be a coup..for now.
GeneralHannibal: thanks!
Singleton Mosby: they wont be called IKEAs they will be called...something else
General Jac: grrr i must...invade...norway!
Snake IV: of course theres a monopoly! dont you know its commanded by..oops. said too much
stnylan: hopefully i'll do more!
chefportnen: thanks!
Lord E: indeed he is!

and didnt i say i would get a bunch of :rofl:'s after an update? psychic i tell ya psychic!

 

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Gustav V: A name...I still need a name for the stores! Wait a minute! Whats that noise!

*Opens a window and see a parade*

Gustav V: Minister guy! What is the meaning of this!

Minister: Dont you know my name? I'm the head of government! Well let me tell you its...

Gustav V: No! If I say your name is Minister Guy then your name is Minister Guy and nothing else! Now "HoG"..what is the meaning of this parade!

"HoG": Well your majesty...

Gustav V: Please, call me Your Lord and Savior

"HoG": Well My Lord and Savior...

Gustav V: I said Your Lord and Savior not My Lord and Savior!

*throws a pencil at "HoG"*

"HoG": Your Lord and Savior...this is a Great War Demonstration and they influenced us enough to be interventionalist.

Gustav V: But..but...I'm the pig headed isolationist! I even got this pighead mask to wear when people come visit me to join their alliance! Not that there been anyone that visit to get me in their alliance but...its best to prepare. And we didnt even participate in the Great War! What gives?

"HoG": Well Your Lord and Savior, I believe that some college students got drunk and decided to have a parade.

Gustav V: Errr ok. I need help deciding on a name....take me to Stockholm University!

*Stockholm University*

Gustav V: Blonde girls...everywhere!

"HoG": Well we do live in Sweden Your Lord and Savior. Everyone up here is blonde with blue eyes! Or so it says in this book.

*holds up book titled Stereotypes of the World*

Gustav V: Oh. What it say about Danes?

"HoG": Says here they like to play with legos and get their navy stolen and destroyed by the British.

Gustav V: Wait a minute? The Danes have a navy?

"HoG": According to this it say they have 5 ships.

Gustav V: Excellent! We beat them by 8! How many factories do they have anyway? I want to know because of my secret plan...I mean because I want to build a model Danish factory. That is instrumental to my secret plan! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ahem. Tell me.

"HoG": Says here they have 13 factories.

Gustav V: Soon I shall have control of those factories...wait a minute...I got it! HoG you are a genius! To the batcave!

"HoG":

Gustav V: Errrrr....Swede Society Wiking clubhouse??

"HoG": Yea I still dont kno what the hell youre talking about.

Gustav V: Arg!! You know...that small pub at that intersection that looks like it havent been cleaned in months...

"HoG": Moe's?

Gustav V: Thats it!

 

[stnylan]

Just so long as he does not build that model factory out of lego...

 

[Snake IV]

Moe's? There's where all other kings drink too. there's where the war starts.

Sweden only has 8 ship? I though it was way more.

 

[unmerged(51077)]

Moe's? There's where all other kings drink too. there's where the war starts.

Sweden only has 8 ship? I though it was way more.

No, you swedes are regulary building heavy ships that tend to sink before they get out on the North Sea *points to Wasa*

 

[unmerged(58579)]

Just so long as he does not build that model factory out of lego...

well Lego (TRADEMARK, YOU ****** - IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, IT MEANS THAT WE GONNA **** YOU SIDEWAYS IF YOU USE IT WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE!! ) is actually a very strong material, it would not be a bad material to use for building factories, why dont you take over Denmark - tear down the Lego (TRADEMARK AGAIN, YOU SCHMUCK!!) park and voila! enough buildin material for 2 factories is Stockholm - make an event for it.
If the danish kids cry out because of it send Pippi and her horse over for a tour
like this:
choice a: send her over
- 20 money + 2 IC in stockholm
choice b: feed them Wasa Knaecke instead
+ 2 IC in stockholm + 3% dissent

good idea?

 

[unmerged(50931)]

(TRADEMARK, YOU FUCKERS - IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, IT MEANS THAT WE GONNA FUCK YOU SIDEWAYS IF YOU USE IT WITHOUT OUR KNOWLEDGE!!

0.o

 

[unmerged(58579)]

say what? o0!?!?!? happy now?

 

[unmerged(60155)]

swedish lego factories... its kinda wierd how this has suddenly been brought up from an intelligence report of the danes