The worst system except for all the others - A UK 1936 interactive political AAR

[Tommy4ever]

What a glorius triumph for all anti-democrats, authoritarians, bourgeiosie, aristocrats, imperialists, lovers of instability and of course the enemies of Britain.

Whilst this coalition of the pocket filling upper classes is no doubt leaving Berlin and Rome giddy it should be greeted with naught but pain and anguish on the streets of London, Liverpool, Glasgow and ever other town, city, village and hamlet of this fine Isle. Whats more in Bombay, Calcutta, Karachi, Singapore, Cairo, Jerusalem, Mombassa, Kingston and Khartoum the untold millions living under the dictatorial rule of the British colonial Empire will now know that all that awaits them in the near future under this regime is yet more toil, yet more famine, exploitation and death.

The voice of the common man cannot be supressed forever! The corrupt and woefully biased democratic system used in this election robbed the proletariat of liberation. One Man One Vote! In this election the vote of the proletarian counted for half the vote of the authoritarian. No more!

Long Live the Revolution Comrades!

The largest Party in Britain and the only representative of the proletariat cannot be defeated. The Red Flag shall fly over London, if not today then the next.

 

[unmerged(51002)]

Huzzah!

 

[quaazi]

What a glorius triumph for all anti-democrats, authoritarians, bourgeiosie, aristocrats, imperialists, lovers of instability and of course the enemies of Britain.

See, when you're going to make stuff up about us, I'm going to do the same in return.

So my dear proletariat. Be happy that this BABYKILLING SHEEPSHAGGING COMMUNIST LOONEYBIN didn't ascend to power.

Besides, it was all of you voters own consious choice to reserve your second vote. That is entirely your own shortsightedness.

Sorry, I meant to say HRAAAGH OPRESS THE MASSES HRAAGH KILL THE UNIONS UURGH BUY MORE SHINY ROCKS FOR THE KING BLURGH

HRAAGH

...

HRAAAAAAGH.

 

[Tommy4ever]

Sorry, I meant to say HRAAAGH OPRESS THE MASSES HRAAGH KILL THE UNIONS UURGH BUY MORE SHINY ROCKS FOR THE KING BLURGH

HRAAGH

...

HRAAAAAAGH.

He shows his true colours!

 

[tuore]

Good job quaazi, 2 victories in two different games in a row. Down, communists!

 

[BootOnFace]

He shows his true colours!

OMG, I almost died laughing!

 

[Ivir Baggins]

He shows his true colours!

We don't suppose that you'll be showing yours any time soon. After all, you are a Communist, are you not?

 

[yourworstnightm]

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party is very disappointed that a government is formed, because it's clearly not what Britain need. Say NO to government and YES to Tea and Bisquits for everyone!!

 

[unmerged(51002)]

We don't suppose that you'll be showing yours any time soon. After all, you are a Communist, are you not?

Um. Red is a colour?

 

[quaazi]

They haven't acted red in the slighest, what with the calls for nationalism and democracy.

In any case, here's our first draft of policy in 1936. All coalitionmembers are more than welcome to propose suggestions, fixes and whatever, really, just a first draft anyway.

1. The Economy/Re-armament
1.1. Create incentives for small businesses by offering reduced setup costs and state protection in the case of possible bankruptcies.
1.2. Contact large armaments producers and offer state subsidies for large-scale armaments production.
1.3. Set up state-sponsored classes to teach the unemployed new skills that could funnel more and more skilled labour into heavy industry.
1.4. Introduce flat tax, with a moderate cutoff limit to ensure no economic problems for the lower classes.
1.5. Tax exemption for colonels, of course.
1.6. Sponsor the expansion of the RSAF.

2. Foreign policy
2.1. Zero-tolerance policy for aggressive expansion on the borders of the British Empire. This obviously refers to the Italian-Abyssinian war firstly. If Italian troops do not ceae hostilities with the Abyssinians, we will close down the Suez channel to Italian naval traffic. To back up this ultimatum, we will redeploy the armies in India to the borders of Abyssinia and Italian East Africa, as well as Lybia.
2.2. Convincing the dominions (Canada, Australia, New Zealand) to enter into closer relationships and centralization, to ensure the integrity of the British Commonwealth. Military and economic cooperation is the key. If this succeeds, political centralization would follow.
2.3. Encourage closer ties between the British Empire and english-speaking lands such as the United States and Ireland, in an effort to bring the nations together into the British Commonwealth by whatever means.
2.4. Strong diplomatic notes sent to Italy, the USSR and Germany, making it clear that territorial ambitions inside Europe are not to be tolerated.

3. The Armed Forces
3.1. Expansion of all branches, as brought up in the BAD manifesto -

2.1. The Royal Navy must have an extra of 3 battleships, 3 fleet carriers, 10 light cruisers and 10 destroyer flotillas by 1939. The British Navy must be a force that can single-handedly curb German, Italian and Japanese expansion in the world's oceans. (IG effect: self-explainatory)
2.2 The British Army must begin a large-scale recruitment, aiming to have over a million people employed in the British Army one way ro the other by 1939. (IG effect: 50 divisions of either inf, mot inf, or (L) arm by 1939)
2.3 The Royal Air Force must increase its amount of fighters 100% by 1939, all new and up to date models ready to compete with the most modern designs of our possible enemies. (IG effect: self-explainatory)

If the gamemaster wishes more, just axe.

 

[unmerged(169228)]

The Blimpist Party agrees to the provisions set out by our just slightly unbritish coalitionpartners. As Chief of Staff, we will see the formation of armed forces Nelson andWellington alike would marvel at.

 

[hoi2geek]

As Foreign Minister, I seriously applaud our foreign policy goals for the Coalition, and I will see to it that all of these goals are carried out to the best of our ability.

 

[keynes2.0]

1. The Economy/Re-armament
1.1. Create incentives for small businesses by offering reduced setup costs and state protection in the case of possible bankruptcies.
1.2. Contact large armaments producers and offer state subsidies for large-scale armaments production.
1.3. Set up state-sponsored classes to teach the unemployed new skills that could funnel more and more skilled labour into heavy industry.
1.4. Introduce flat tax, with a moderate cutoff limit to ensure no economic problems for the lower classes.
1.5. Tax exemption for colonels, of course.
1.6. Sponsor the expansion of the RSAF.

....

3. The Armed Forces
3.1. Expansion of all branches, as brought up in the BAD manifesto -

So in a nutshell:

1) Large, permanent increases in spending
2) A huge reduction in the tax base

Also, isn't the right wing small business fetish an anachronism in 1936?

 

[unmerged(51002)]

3. The Armed Forces
3.1. Expansion of all branches, as brought up in the BAD manifesto -
2.2 The British Army must begin a large-scale recruitment, aiming to have over a million people employed in the British Army one way ro the other by 1939. (IG effect: 50 divisions of either inf, mot inf, or (L) arm by 1939)

So, you'll be introducing peacetime conscription?

 

[quaazi]

1) Large, permanent increases in spending
2) A huge reduction in the tax base

1) Not permanent. Something we'll have to get over quickly for it to pay off in the near future.
2)I doubt it's "huge". The officers are not a huge demographic group, and flat tax will not result in a "huge" decrease either. Besides, less money in our hands = more money in the people's hands = more money flowing freely HUZZAH

So, you'll be introducing peacetime conscription?

Never said that.

 

[yourworstnightm]

So what's the government's policy on pants?

 

[quaazi]

Well, we're going to conduct a survey on the subject of "who wears short shorts?"

 

[unmerged(51002)]

Never said that.

If you want to recruit 50 divisions' worth of men in 3 years you'll need conscription.

 

[unmerged(181057)]

As minister of the interior... I ... 'pat quazzi on the back'. I will do my best to free the oppressed within Britain. And, if the questionable foreign policy does actually come into effect, I will do my best to help the opressed in other nations in our empire.

 

[unmerged(51002)]

JANUARY-MARCH 1936​

Good evening, afternoon, morning and tuesday to all the nations of the BRITISH EMPIAH I'm Raleigh Jigglehurst, chief government propagandist.

GLORIOUS PRIME MINISTER BALDWIN TODAY ANNOUNCED

No, we've got a new one now.

Ah, very well.

Our new government has assumed glorious office today, after a terrifying election fraught with Communists and Bolsheviks and peasants and Muslims and Hindoos of all shapes and proportions.

Assuming office are new faces, pledged to a National Government, imbued with an OVERWHELMING MANDATE of 53%. A band of landless resolutes, men with no names and less history, some of them missing limbs or eyes or even heads! Among them, QUAAZI, our new Prime Minister, FLYING DUTCHIE the Chief of Staff and head of the inspiring paramilitary organisation known only as the Colonels (or the Blimps). HOBOPUPPY, a guardian of freedoms and sous-chef supreme, and of course DEADLY VIRUS our new economic mastermind.

The government announced great works of such magnificence that they can not even be described!! EDUCATION SCHEMES REACHING ACROSS BRITAIN! INDUSTRY AND JOBS AND STIMULUS!

AND A GREAT BUILDUP OF ARMS!!! In a STUNNING recruitment campaign, the government has started to sponge up as many men as possible, doing its best to recruit a BILLION MEN without conscription.

But the power of the ring, could not be undone. Italy's invasion of Ethiopia was so SHOCKING that it literally killed George VI, who was replaced by chaste, pure, intelligent, democratic, non-racist Edward VIII.

BUT WHAT OF THE FOE ACROSS THE SEAS?

Despite a strongly worded note, the Italian army has refused to cease its invasion of deepest Abyssinia. BUT WHAT, men asked themselves, AND WHEN AND HOW AND WHY AND FOR WHAT PURPOSE AND FOR WHAT REASON AND WHO will the government react?

Actually, not who.

BUT WHAT WOULD THEY DO?

Some men cried WAR! Others cried DEUS VULT! Others cried PEACE! Others were more manly, so they didn't cry.

You need to decide how to deal with the Eyeties.

Military and economic recovery has begun.

Unemployment is 2.8 million.