The Triumphant Turks: An Ottoman AAR

[unmerged(60725)]

The donkey incident may never be told...
And CSK, the brought their allies in. You're also the winner of the competition. Expect to see you in this AAR soon.

 

[stnylan]

The importance of donkeys in internal relations has clearly hitherto been grievously overlooked.

 

[unmerged(44386)]

The map is actually quite good . Not so sure about the plan to annex Naples and Athens though as that will send BB soaring for so little gain, but anyway....the Parrots great

Nice to see the odd political screenie now and then.

 

[unmerged(48100)]

And CSK, the brought their allies in. You're also the winner of the competition. Expect to see you in this AAR soon.

Yay!

I want to be an Austrian General! Who betrayes his own country and let's you take Vienna although he could prevent it.

 

[unmerged(60725)]

Time to reply...

The importance of donkeys in internal relations has clearly hitherto been grievously overlooked.

Really? They're very good at breaking things...

The map is actually quite good . Not so sure about the plan to annex Naples and Athens though as that will send BB soaring for so little gain, but anyway....the Parrots great

That wasn't my original idea. I was going to annex Athens and make peace with the other Italian nations, but the Papla states and Tuscany were causeing so much pain, I decided to take Apulia. Napoli was a spur-of-the moment thing.

Nice to see the odd political screenie now and then.

I happen to have one for this update...

I want to be an Austrian General! Who betrayes his own country and let's you take Vienna although he could prevent it.

I could get you down for that too. I currently have you as Commander of the 3rd army and secondary adviser to Murad. But that's a good idea.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
June 1st 1422

Murad was already up and about on the plains near the Tuscan city of Taranto. He was aready planning the battering ram and the diversion he would create to stop his plan from failing. He was sketching his ideas on the ground as a parrot landed on his shoulder.
“To Murad STOP From Çandarlı STOP Our infrastructure has just improved STOP Those researchers you hired have devised a training course to turn bailiffs into tax collectors STOP We have also had a missionary visit us and ask to try and convert our lands STOP What shall we do FINISH.” It squawked.
Murad dug into his pocket and pulled out four silver pieces. The parrot took them greedily as Murad gave him his message:
“To Çandarlı STOP From Murad STOP Excellent news! STOP Set the bailiffs in our capital on the training course and send the mercenary to Macedonia STOP We are continuing with the siege and should own Taranto by December FINISH.”
The parrot flew off.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

November 8th 1422

Murad was feasting on a roasted pigeon as the parrot came in.
“To Murad STOP From Çandarlı STOP The annexation went along as planned today STOP Hellas is now owned by us STOP Can you please update me on your progress? FINISH.”
Murad finished eating, then went outside to where the siege was in full swing. He took four silver deben out of his pocket and handed them to the bird.
“To Çandarlı STOP From Murad STOP Thanks for the info STOP The siege is carrying on STOP should control Taranto by February at the latest FINISH.”
As the parrot flew of, an arrow struck down one of his captains. The army turned to look at Murad. He smiled.
“CHARGE!” he cried.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

July 6th 1423

Murad was in a good mood. The capital of Naples, Napoli, seemed even easier to conquer than Taranto, which he’d captured 5 months ago. He raised his head as another parrot flew towards him. It perched on his shoulder and squawked out a message:
“To Murad II STOP From Ca Sa Ka Pasha, commander of the 3rd army STOP We have initiated a siege on Firenze and have slaughtered the 1900 man garrison in the surrounding area STOP So far no armies have tried to stop us FINISH.”
Murad let out a rare laugh. This was easy. Way too easy.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

April 23rd 1424

Murad smiled. He was sitting in Napoli’s finest palace facing Louis III, king of Naples who was trying to combine crying and drinking alcohol to make it seem not so bad. Murad talked to him soothingly.
“It’s fine. I know you have no kingdom now. We took it from you eight days ago. Listen, I’ll need a local governor to control this area. I can’t be everywhere at once. I thought you had the most expertise in this sort of thing.”
Louis III sighed, then drunk another pint. He sighed again, and drunk another. Murad looked worried.
“Drinking isn’t all that good for you you know. It can damage your liver.” But Louis wasn’t listening. He’d already downed another pint and was finishing his 34th. Murad sighed and got up.
“I’ll leave you to it.”
Murad exited the room and walked out onto the balcony. As he did, a parrot landed on the railing. It squawked:
“To Murad II STOP From Ca Sa Ka Pasha STOP Firenze is ours STOP Their king wants to talk peace STOP What should the offer be? FINISH.”
Murad gave the parrot two silver deben and his message.
“To Ca Sa Ka Psaha STOP From Murad STOP Ask for 50 gold deben, Apulia and peace with all other countries in his alliance FINISH.”
The parrot gave a sqwauk, then flew off. Inside, Louis drunk his 53rd pint before dropping dead to the floor.

Our lands after the war
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

January 27th 1425

A knock on his door caused Murad to jump.
“Come in.”
The door opened and Çandarlı, Ca Sa Ka and another guy with shifty eyes and a strange beard entered. The unknown man stepped forward.
“Sire, I am Molla Fenari. I wish to present you with an idea.”
“Murad raised his eyebrows. “Really? What is it?”
Molla unrolled a scroll. “It is the Sheikh-ul-Islam Office. You are Islamic right?”
“I am.” replied Murad.
“Our office would make sure that everything you did would be in accordance to Islam. From declaring war to sending merchants, we’ll make sure you keep to Islamic ways. We can also boost your stability, decentralize you and make you less innovative.”
Murad thought for a bit. “Well, we could do with the stability boost, but not with the latter two. However, if we don’t institute you, our stability will decrease.”
“To –2” Ca Sa Ka noted.
“A step away from absolute chaos.” Çandarlı agreed.
“Hmmm… well, I could always wait till 1429 for innovativeness to drop…”
“Well Murad, it does make us look good in front of our people.”
Murad made a decision. “Molla, you’re hired. Çandarlı, take him out to the balcony and proclaim his work to our capital’s citizens.”
Molla ran gleefully out of the room towards the balcony. Çandarlı turned to face Murad. Murad winked.
“And afterwards, find him a nice quiet office to work in. The dungeons are particularly nice at this time of year.”

 

[unmerged(48100)]

Bah, the Ottoman Empire must stay centralised. Don't bow down to some narrowminded peasants!

 

[stnylan]

Time to seize the City of Men's Desire once and for all.

 

[Duke of Wellington]

Into Italy, good job. I like the last line .

 

[unmerged(44386)]

CSK "...", stnylan "...", Duke of Wellington "..."

Yeah, what they said

 

[unmerged(51378)]

Your Empire looks ugly without Constantinople. Fix it.

Anyway, nice AAR so far.

 

[unmerged(60725)]

I can't answer now since I'm just about to pop out, but here's something for you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
March 15th 1426

Çandarlı entered the royal chamber. Murad had moved Mehmed’s old map table into the centre of the chamber and had found his toy soldiers. He had been tinkering with plans to conquer Thrace all day. Now he seemed satisfied.
“Ah, Çandarlı, here at last. Ca Sa Ka Pasha and me have decided on our plan of attack. It goes as follows:

We’ll use a pincer movement to attack Thrace. I’ll head the Imperial army stationed here. We’ll march into Thrace and kill off the Byzantine defenders. The 4th Army will then head in and back us up. The 1st and 3rd armies will be roaming our lands in case any Byzantines get away. Our Imperial Fleet will be patrolling the nearby waters for Byzantine ships. Any questions? None? Çandarlı, here’s 2 silver deben. Send a parrot to declare war will you?”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
August 15th 1426

“You took your time.”
“Sorry Murad. We were attacked by a Byzantine raiding party on the way here.”
Murad smiled. “Well, you’ve missed most of the fun Ca Sa Ka. The Byzantines went down easily and the seige Is going well. Still, I can’t reject 4, 769 infantry and 2,498 cavalry can I?”
“You can’t sire.”
“Do you want dinner? It’s roast pig.”
“Why not.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 23rd 1427

“I didn’t know that the weather’s like this in Constantiople Çandarlı.”
Çandarlı turned to Ca Sa Ka. “I didn’t either. Our maps showed no snowfall.”
Murad came wading through the waist high snowbanks. “It’s apparantly some freak weather caused by a storm in Ufa, where ever that is.”
Ca Sa Ka shrugged. “What ever it is, it’s real annoying. A third of our men have perished in these past 12 days.”
Çandarlı raised his hand. “We could get some reinforcements in from Anatolia.”
Murad smiled. “Good idea. Here’s two silver deben. You know what to do.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 2nd 1427

“CHARGE”
Murad woke with a start. “What the ****…”
An army thundered over the hills brandishing spears, bows and a variety of weapons. Their commander was riding a massive horse. Murad smiled.
“The reinforcments.”
Çandarlı entered his tent. The commander sends his help. His name’s Istanbal.”
Outside, the army had battered down the gates to Constantinople. Istanbal was battling the pitiful remainder of the Byzantine guard single-handedly.
“Die you ******* scum. Your mother ****** a *** ** * ***** and you ******* **** were ******* born. ******* die you ******* ********!””
Çandarlı whistled. “Reminds me of Mehmed I.”
Murad nodded. “He talks just like him.”
They walked into the newly-opened gates of Constantinople unhindered.

 

[unmerged(48100)]

Maybe this is not his right name though? After all he talks like Mehmed and is a good warrior.

And snowfall in Istanbul? Strange weather...

 

[stnylan]

Fare well Rome.

 

[unmerged(60725)]

Time to reply properly...

Time to seize the City of Men's Desire once and for all.

Your Empire looks ugly without Constantinople. Fix it.

Have done.

Yeah, what they said

I can see why.

Maybe this is not his right name though? After all he talks like Mehmed and is a good warrior.

Nope. His name his its reasons...

And snowfall in Istanbul? Strange weather...

Got to have something strange every now and again. :wacko:

Fare well Rome.

Perhaps not quite yet...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
April 11th 1427

Murad drummed his fingers against his throne in Anatolia. Çandarlı waited for Murad’s reply.
“We could.”
“We could?”
“Why not?”
“Good point.”
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Çandarlı opened it and a messenger came in.
“ My lord, I have come from Constantinople with a message.”
“Ah, the newly conquered city. Get on with it.”
“My lord, the Patriach wants to know what will happen. Will you allow it to exist as it is, which would lower your stability, increase your relations with many countries that I personally have never heard of and make you more innovative, appoint a new patriach, which would increase your stability, make you more centralized and increase your relations with three countrjes we know, or you could close us down, so that you could gain 300 coins, make you less innovative and decrease your relations with a lot of countr…”
The messenger ran out of breath. Murad looked at him curiously.
“Well. Çandarlı, bring Ca Sa Ka in.”
“I’m already here sir.”
“How did you do that?”
“I entered through the back way sire.”
“We have a back way?”
“It appears so sire.”
“Anyway, what did you think of that?”
“Well, I don’t think we should take the final option. We’re disliked as it is. The first option would mean that we’d have to wait even longer to become less innovative, stability would drop and though it’s a nice idea to improve relations, I much prefer option two.”
“I agree with Ca Sa Ka Murad.”
Murad smiled. “Very well. You heard us right.” the messenger nodded. “Good. Deliver what we just said. Go.”
The messenger hastily walked throgh the door. As it slammed, Murad turned to Çandarlı. “We could move the…”
The messenger came back in. “My lord, there are some men here to see you.”
“Send them in.”
Three men walked into the room. One of them was about to speak when he was elbowed by another wearing red, white and blue robes. He stepped forwards.
“Greetings your Highness. I am Tha Realdel and these are my companions, Stnyal and Duc Wellin. We have come to make you a proposition.”
The one that seemed to be known as Duc Wellin stepped forwards and spoke. “Constantinople is a great city sire and one fit for a Sultan like you.”
Stynal strode forwards. “We think that ypu should move the capital to Constantinople. It has a beautiful palace which is brilliantly kitted out for your needs.”
“It is twice as large as the one here and has two new things called…” here Tha Realdel paused and twisted his face to get the foreign syllables out. “Central Heat…ing and Air Condi…tioning that can keep you warm in the winter and cool in the summer.”
“The last ruler had an entire collection of murals and a special room in which he painted them.”
“Some time ago, a ruler added a huge fencing-practise room made and stocked it with only the best equipment.”
“There is a large rock which has plenty of footholds inside the grounds.”
“It has some very big dungeons.”
Murad stared at the men who had been trying to out step each other. They were now a foot or so away from his face. He smiled weakly. “I think it might just be a good idea to move the capital. Under one condition. I want to change Constantinople’s name.
Duc Wellin raised an eyebrow. “What too?”
“Istanbul, after the commander that gave his life so we could conquer the city. Ca Sa Ka, send these men on their way.”
The three men were grinning like Cheshire cats as they exited to room. The moment they’d left, the doors opened again and another messenger walked in.
“Honestly, the doors haven’t stopped swinging today.” noted Murad.
The messenger bowed. “I’m Suny Zal, Head of trade in Alexandria. We have a proposition to make.”
Murad sighed. “Another proposition. Go ahead.”
“We have noted that you have changed your capital to Istanbul, yes?”
Çandarlı gasped. “We only just decided that.”
“News travels fast in the merchant buisness. Anyway, we propose to make a center of trade in Thrace. We have 1000 gold deben to do so.”
“ONE THOUSAND DEBEN!”
“Yes, quite. Now, I happen to know that the big trade nations aren’t going to like you if you choose to accept our proposal. They will however prefer it if you didn’t open a C.O.T, and if you didn’t, these 1000 deben…” here he had to pause as Ca Sa Ka and Murad had to sustrain Çandarlı who was going mad at the thought of having 1000 deben. “…would go straight to your coffers….”
“ONE THOUSAND DEBEN ARE NOT TO BE SNIFFED AT MURAD!”
“Calm down Çandarlı.” Murad tried to keep a calm face. “It may be a lot, but think what would happen. Those 1000 deben…”
“ONE THOUSAND DEBEN!”
“…would be spent almost immediately. Howvwe, a C.O.T would mean that we constantly get money - it makes sense in the long term.”
Çandarlı sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Good. Now send Suny Zal on his way Ca Sa Ka.”
A Suny left, Murad turned to Çandarlı. “We could move the mural. It would probably catch more light there as it is.

 

[unmerged(48100)]

*Smacks hand against head*, any chance this Ca Sa Ka is me? I hadn't imagined until now, but as others appear in the story with a bit changed name, this seems obvious.

And all I thought about him until now was that he has a crappy name. :rofl:

 

[Duke of Wellington]

Some familar characters in there .

 

[unmerged(44386)]

Well, well , start giving guest appearances and then we'll start demanding more scripts

Those events are nice...let the good times roll...so does the powerfully built, handsome Lord Realdel (elite commander) take charge of his majesties grand armies in the conquest for Eqypt....then your highness shall possess two C.O.T's.....

 

[unmerged(60725)]

Reply time...

*Smacks hand against head*, any chance this Ca Sa Ka is me? I hadn't imagined until now, but as others appear in the story with a bit changed name, this seems obvious.

Yep. That's you.

And all I thought about him until now was that he has a crappy name.

I can change it. I had a bit of writer's block at the time. You're still down as the Austrian General though.

Some familar characters in there

Well, I was stuck for names, so I looked at the first available source.

Well, well , start giving guest appearances and then we'll start demanding more scripts

Those events are nice...let the good times roll...so does the powerfully built, handsome Lord Realdel (elite commander) take charge of his majesties grand armies in the conquest for Eqypt....then your highness shall possess two C.O.T's.....

Not unless you win the next competition. Like I said, I just needed some names for one-time appearences.

Just a quick update. Events are fun...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
March 25th 1428

“A heir to the throne! A heir to the throne!”
The messenger ran along the palace corridors and stopped abruptly as a large oak door opened and whacked into his face. Çandarlı peered around and looked at the messenger.
“A heir…” he muttered. “I didn’t know Murad had a wife…”
He stormed back in to the royal chambers where Murad was dicussing the trade situation with Ca Sa Ka.
“Why is a messenger running through the palce declaring that there is a heir to the throne? Murad, you don’t even have a wife!”
Murad blushed. “Errrmmm…you know that pretty serving girl who keeps flutttering her eyelids at me…”
“MURAD!”
The Sulatan hung his head. “Sorry.”

 

[unmerged(48100)]

Hey, Murad is the Sultan! He has not to be sorry about anything he did!

Though, appointing him to a heir? He should at least have married the girl. Shame on you Murad!

I can change it.

If you look in my own AAR you'll see I already made chokes about my name, so I don't think you should do that, it's just my first impression most of the time.

 

[Duke of Wellington]

Go Murad. An illegitimate baby is in line for the throne? That can't have been good.