The travels of Zuckergußgebäck part II - Can you move-a?

[Zuckergußgebäck]

- FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFOOOOOSCHHHHHHHHHHHH! Exterous switched of the torch, since he was the architect of the future, he had been given the very imortant job as chief architect of the (tannu tuvan)reich, this also included turning Blitzkreigs little tank that looked like Dresden-to-be into a lean, mean fighting machine. Finally it was complete.

Nuculear winter was walking through the endless rose-gardens, pulling a small artillery piece.
- BOOOOOOOOOOOM!
- A house demolished! Haha! Nuke shouted, unfortunately, what he had blown up was Blitzkreigs little tank which Exterous had assembled with love and care for days.

Exterous was pissed off.

--- In session ---

- So, tell me again, who are you? Mr. Kaputt said.
- I am king Gustaf II of Sweden 'Cum Deo et victricibus armis'!
At that moment, Nuculear winter walked through the door with knives sticked into every part of his body and suvearly burnt with a weld.
- My god, what happened? Mr. Kaputt screamed.
- I destroyed the little tank of Blitzkreig! He shouted.
(Everyone scuttled for the bunker)

---

Exterous sulked and hugged Eddie, his little teddybear, how were he to get welded armour now? He thought, then hugged Eddie again.


Thus ended February 10, 1937...

 

[unmerged(15409)]

Harrr!!!! I want to see him go around screaming "Blitzkrieg!" again

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Harrr!!!! I want to see him go around screaming "Blitzkrieg!" again

BLITZKRIEG!

No, but seriously, I have got promoted to colonel, yeeeeeeeeeee-haw!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Zuckergußgebäck and the gang sat in front of a television screen.
They harnessed the immense power of the screen, turning them into braindead zombies, they were approaching the border to overdose...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

BLITZKRIEG!

Blitzkreig drove his little blown-up tank through the wall, destroying the television, Zuckergußgebäck pushed himself up against the wall, pointing towards the telly, Exterous hugged Eddie, while Semi-lobster began to cry (if half crustaceans can cry, that is).

Kemciik-ool had to act fast, he jumped up and screamed:
- I´ll read you a story!

Everyone was delighted and sat down around Kemchiik-ool, apart from GeneralSS-kommendanturfestnungsbefehlshaberfeldmarchallleutnantobergefreitehauptmanncoloneloberstserganttrafficwarden Bob who was playing with a handgrenade.

Kemchik-ool began:

In the days of cardinal Richelieu lived three brave musketeers called d'artagnan, Athos, Pothos and Aramis (that makes four, but who´s counting?).
Oh, well one day they were summoned to the queen, who told them that she had given away a beautiful gem (which she had received from the king) to a lover in England.
But now the king was to have a great party and demanded the queen to carry that particular gem.
The queen asked the musketeers if they could possibly do something about it.
And they could!
d'artagnan, Athos, Pothos and Aramis immediately went to the press with this and sold the world copyright for one million gold dubloons.
Richelieu and the king became very upset, but the queen said: bah, you know how much the newspapers lie!

Everyone wanted Kemchik-ool to tell them another story, apart from Exterous who was sucking on his thumb.

Kemchiik-ool bagan to talk:

Once upon a time, there was a giant standing outside the city gates and was squeesing the juice from a lemon. 'Haha!', he screamed to the people in the town, 'it is all dry now, I guarantee that you can´t get a single more drop out of it.'
Then a small guy stepped out and said: 'Let me try'.
He took the lemon in is right hand and with easy squeesedseveral litres of juice from it.
- You must be a proffesional, that can squeese so much juice from a lemon which I have already emtied to a 100%. What´s your job?
- Tax collector. the little guy said.

Now, everyone was sleeping, Exterous hugging Eddie and with his thumb still in his mouth.

Kemchiik-ool got up, since he was of swiss origins, he just couldn´t let them lie there, so he shouted:

- BLITZKRIEG!

(Everyone scuttled for the bunker, since they felt it more safe to sleep there)

Thus ends this saga.

---

*Gets trampled by angry readers*
- No, you fools, this AAR doesn´t end!
*Gets knocked uncontious by those who didn´t hear*

 

[unmerged(15409)]

Man, I just want to declare something:

BLITZKRIEG!!!

His appearances, screaming and smashing walls do have to be the funniest ones!

I just wish I had a cool line like that *turns around back to sleep, hugging his pet beer (that´s right, two EEs.)

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

OK, guys, I have an important announcement:

THIS IS GOING TGW!

So, please tell me which country I shall play, I will listen to your demands nd not take heed, as always, all but majors are accepted.
(And please do not pick Sanusia...)

 

[Jopi]

One of Benelux countries.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

One of Benelux countries.

Man, you want me DEAD?
On the other hand, this is what this AAR series is all about.

*Damn*

 

[unmerged(15409)]

No, play a Taanu-Tuuvazzed germany. Only Germany will do!
And I can even help editing the game so that we have Showa as Minister of Staff!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

No, play a Taanu-Tuuvazzed germany. Only Germany will do!
And I can even help editing the game so that we have Showa as Minister of Staff!

*Smacks nuculear winter over the head with... ummmm... chandelier*

- ONLY MINORS!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Zuckergußgebäck was training at the gym, when Kemchik-ool burst in.

- BLITZKRIEG!
- No, wait, you´re not Blitzkreig! Zuckergußgebäck screamed in despair.
- No, but he lended me his little tank. BTW, why are you in the gym?
- I tried out a new bathesuit yesterday.
- Yes?
- And I looked like a stripy sausage for heavens sake!
(OOC: Tribute to Tiffany Persson)
With that, Kemchiik-ool drove away, leaving a giant hole in the wall.
Exterous sulked, as Reichsarchitekt, it was his job of rebuilding damaged walls.

He hugged Eddie and went to work.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

BEEEP!BEEEP!BEEP!BEEP!

Jopi got up from his extremely hard bunk bed, he knew what this ment, WAR!(Fiction)
He took onboard his nukes, removed Nuculear winter who had misunderstood Jopi when he ordered them to 'load the nukes'.
Jopi was just about to take off when...

...

...

...

...

...

...(twiddles thumbs)

- BLITZKRIEG!
Blitzkreigs little tank ripped off the entire back part of the aircraft (also known as Jopi) who turned around, made a nose dive, danced tango, killed a giraff before sticking in Shomas mouth.

- What on earth where giraffs doing in Roaritania? Kemchik-ool thought as he drove off into the sunset.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

What do you think, shall I take a break and relax my poor brain?
Or do the jokes still hold a reasonable class?

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

March 2, Splinter cellsau, Roaritania

Zuckergußgebäck leaned beck in his comfy little chair that was in the middle of the sun, if he spent long enough time here, he might just get a tan...

- PURGE THE TRAITORS!

Some unknown guy ran past and knocked Shoma over, the sheep was still struggling to get Jopi out of its mouth and had actually managed to get out 5 centimeters of Jopi from its mouth.
Now, as the cheap sheep who used to say cheep fell over, Jopi was pushed 10 centimeters into its mouth.

The sheep took Eddie from Exterous, hugged the bear and began to cry, so did Exterous(it was his teddy-bear after all).

The unknown guy stood in front of Zuckergußgebäck:

- Unbreakable Union of freeborn Republics,
Great Russia has welded forver to stand.
Created in struggle by will of the people,
United and mighty, our Soviet land!

CHORUS:
Sing to the Motherland, home of the free,
Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong.
O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people,
To Communism's triumph lead us on!

Through tempests the sunrays of freedom have cheered us,
Along the new path where great Lenin did lead.
To a righteous cause he raised up the peoples,
Inspired them to labour and valourous deed.

CHORUS

In the vict'ry of Communism's deathless ideal,
We see the future of our dear land.
And to her fluttering scarlet banner,
Selflessly true we always shall stand!

CHORUS

He declared, drawing a tear from Kemchik-ools eye until he found that it was actually a dead fly that caused it and not the song.

- Who are you? Zuckergußgebäck asked in a polite manner.
- I am an ex-georgian priest turned bankrobber then social agitator.
- Aha! Michael Jackson! Zuckergußgebäck screamed.
- Who?
- Nevermind, who are you?
- I am.... STALIN!

(ominous silence)

The silence was long, and then... everyone began to laugh hysterically.

Stalin shook his head and then began the long trek back to home to purge some more officers.

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Hey, guys, I´ve made terrible mistake, 'Hymn to the Soviet union' wasn´t intoruced as the soviet national anthem until 1944, forgive me, please

On the brighter side, I promise that personguyfellow will have his cameo in the next update (he has already had two obscure cameos, but the next one will solve it :wacko: )

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

Errrr... is anyone reading this?

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

June 2

FFFFFFOOOOOOOOSSSH!
Exterous truned of th weld, finally th blown-apart german who could only say achtung had been assembled.
- ACHTUNG!

Zuckergußgebäck walked in, then stepped into a jar of black treacle and struggled to get out.

- Who is this? Zuckergußgebäck asked as he was busy freeing his right leg.
- Since he looked so ugly and made prominent ladies faint, I´ve descided to call him the Pharmacologist of the opera. Exterous answered.
- That is a long name, Zuckergußgebäck said as he freed his right leg, found out that both of his legs were in the air and fell back down.
- I know! Let´s call him Personguyfellow! Exterous said with a evil grin on his lips.
- YAY! Zuckergußgebäck said as his head got stuck in the treacle.

- HAHA, BLITZKRIEG! A small tank burst through the wall and tipping over Zuckergußgebäck just as he had freed himself, the result was that he got stuck again.

- Blitzkreig, what is that? Exterous asked.
- It is a great officer pudding from Russia. Look, there is a little piece of Zhukov! Blitzkreig said.
- Nonono, you´ve got it all wrong! There is a great officer PURGE going on in Russia at the moment, no great officer puddings!
- Oh, sorry. Blitzkreig said as he burst through the opposite wall to return the pudding to the shop.

Exterous sulked, then he looked at Zuckergußgebäck who was now covered in black treacle.

Exterous descided that it was a monster.

(Exterous scuttled for the bunker)

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

OK, guys if you do not tell me how pretty I am and that you will hang yourself from the ceiling if this AAR isn´t continued, this will be dead!

 

[unmerged(26154)]

OK, guys if you do not tell me how pretty I am and that you will hang yourself from the ceiling if this AAR isn´t continued, this will be dead!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dont end this!! this has been one of the funniest AAR's ive ever read!

 

[Zuckergußgebäck]

As Han Solo says: that´s one!