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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Grauuu

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Unofficial title: The epic and difficult struggle of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid.


Index:
Chapter One: The Intro and presentation of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid and his nemesis and neighbour, Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud.
Chapter Two: The preparation of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid's Royal Desert Corps and other assorted tales.
Chapter Three: The continued preparation of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid and Jebel Shammar against the mighty Italians and damned Nejd..ians.
Chapter Four: The Dangers of the drunken Italians.
Chapter Five: The Final Preperations.
Chapter Six: War in the Desert.
Chapter Seven: The chapter in which the fourth wall is carefully assembled, then smashed into a thousand pieces, as Grauuu starts insulting his readers.
Chapter Eight: The chapter in which Azuzi is accused and taken to court, as the war evolves in Jebel Shammar's favour.
Chapter Nine: The Invasion of Dammam and the increasingly amazing feats by Jebel Shammar and it's beloved Emir.
Chapter Ten: The graphical(!) vacation of the Emir is shown, as Grauuu attempts to soften the cold hearts of his readers in a bad attempt at excusing his lazy behaviour. Sooner or later they'll find out that the update doesn't actually update(!) on the situation in the game itself. Good job Grauuu.
Chapter Eleven: The Great War continues to be fought. In the meantime, the Emir thinks about making a musical from the future, as the picture extravaganza continues and the evil plot of Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud is discovered!
Chapter What: What is going on here, this ain't a chapter.
Chapter Twelve: The update turns strangely normal and boring, as the game progresses slowly, but surely. The Austria-Hungarians are bastards, as always, and awfully bad at it as well.
Chapter Thirteen: The chapter in which Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid has to confront the increasingly demanding female population, as he continues to stare down and beat up his nemesis Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud. The Black Shadow smells.
Chapter Fourteen: A normal day in the life of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid involving picnics and names. In Europe, Austria-Hungary managed to reach a new level of horrible, as the Jebel Shammarian army continues to modernize.

-CHRISTMAS 2010 8-PART SPECIAL-

Chapter Fifteen: A retrospectical look on the world of 1918, while the style of the story quickly transcends back into that of times long past. Yes, that title did look very impressive to me as well.





Chapter One
The Intro and presentation of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid and his nemesis and neighbour, Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud.


Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid sat in his palace in Jawf.
What a magnificent place he has found himself to be ruler of.
With resources plentiful, a proud population and a powerful army, the Emir found himself in heaven.

At least that was his own view of his little Emirate, but the truth was much more grim.

After having lost the important city of Riyadh to 80 random men on camels, the power of Jebel Shammar was nowhere near what it has once been. Now stuck in Jawf, the goal of this small nation would be to retake what was rightfully theirs.

The Emir pulled out a map and looked at it. Ah yes, this was it. The map of both his magnificent nation and also his claims on the bastards from Nejd.

(You are looking at what is possibly the most beautiful thing you'll ever see in your life.)


He glared at the map, then looked around at his cabinet.

He was sadly the only one present, except for his black shadow. At least he would keep him company.

(Life was exciting in Jebel Shammar)


Life wasn't easy for Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid and he shed a single tear, as he studied the map again, clearly having nothing better to do with his time.

"So," he said to his shadow, "do you have any news for me?"
"Yes Emir, I have something that might interest you."
The Emir now glared at his shadow. "Well?"
"You see here Azuzi... Can I call you Azuzi? It's kind of cute."
"Fine! Just tell me what is going on!"
"Well, I know all too well of your ambition, but there is just one tiny problem..."
"What?!"



(The power!)


It seemed like the numbers stared into his very soul.
"What does this mean for me and my ambition?" The Emir asked.
"Well, for one, countries like Germany are around 235 times stronger than us.
Your rival Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud is also twice as powerful as you and he at least got some manpower..." The shadow looked awfully sad for a shadow.
"We've got no manpower either?! What about an army?" Tears started raining down the Emirs cheeks.
"Well... We got no army... And Nejd does. And they have manpower. And-"
The Emir quickly interferred "ENOUGH! You are dismissed!"

He now sat there waiting for the black shadow to leave, as hours went by...


A sudden knock on the door awoke the Emir from his trance. "Come on in!"
In the doorway stood the most hated man in all of Jebel Shammar.



(The face of evil.)


Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid quickly stood up and the two stared at each other for what seemed like hours.



(You decide whether this is Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid or his shadow.)


"What do you want, Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud?!" Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid snapped at the guest.
Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud let out a loud giggle. (Yes, these Emirs are real men). "I've come to warn you "Azuzi"."
"Don't call me Azuzi! How'd you even know about that name!?"
Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud smiled and giggled again. This time like a school girl. (Yes, these Emirs are real men).
"I've come to warn you Azuzi. Watch your step carefully. Sooner or later, I'll come for you and finally finish you off."
Emir Azuzi looked horrified. This could very well be the end of his small nation if he didn't choose his next words carefully.
But he couldn't come up with anything particularily clever, so instead he went into another staring competition. Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud joined in and stared right back.



(The pictures doesn't give the situation quite the intensity that is being portrayed, but trust me, this is intense!)

Then suddenly the silence was broken.
"Also, I've ordered my men to ruin your sand." Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud let out an evil giggle. (Yes, a giggle can be evil as well.) He quickly left the building leaving Emir Azuzi behind to scream in agony.
"Nooooooo-"



(The soldiers of evil doing what evil men does best.)


A couple of hours of tears and agony later...


"I think it's time for some revenge"
"I agree Azuzi," the Black Shadow said.
"He asked for a fight... We'll give him a fight. Quick Shadow, we need to prepare for war! Start the training of an army immediately!"



(These guys will change history.)


"All right, how long will this take Shadow?" The Emir questioned his shadow.
"Well Azuzi, we can produce at a speed of around 10% giving the total amount of time needed up to around... 650 days."



(This is so exciting!)


"So be it..." The Emir sighed. "I will personally start thinking!"
"You go do that Azuzi."



(He's a clever guy this Emir.)


"We've also found a surplus of oil around Jawf. Perhaps we should trade with the Ottomans?" The shadow questioned the Emir.
"Good thinking, Shadow."



(The Jebel Shammarians are good traders for sure.)


And so Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid prepared for the coming struggle.
 
Last edited:

Meadow

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This looks superb. A minor that's about as minor as it's possible to be, AND hilarious too. Consider me subscribed.
 

Grauuu

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atty: Glad you liked it! Here's hoping it will stay this interesting.

Meadow: Good to have you onboard and happy that you found the first update funny. Again, hoping I can keep it up.

----------

Chapter Two
The preparation of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid's Royal Desert Corps and other assorted tales.

Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid sat in his palace in Jawf.
What a horrible place he has found himself to be ruler of.
With no resources to speak of, no population and no army, the Emir found himself in hell.


The Emir sighed, then confronted his shadow.
"Any news yet?"
The shadow made a gesture one could expect from a shadow,
"yes! Italians are invading our good Ottoman friends!"



(You just can't please the Italians.)


"Will this have any effect on Jebel Shammar?" The Emir asked as he started to shine.
"No, nothing has any effect on Jebel Shammar and vice versa."
The Emir got gloomy again.
"Come back to me when you have any news I am interested in hearing about."


A month passed by...


"Azuzi! Azuzi! I've come with news!"
"About bloody time, this better be good." The Emir started smiling.
"Morocco goes to war with Spain. Morocco is allied with France!
And no, this will have no effect on Jebel Shammar."
The Emir got gloomy again.
"I swear to God, if you don't get any better news for me soon..."


Three months passed by...


"HAPPY NEW YEAR AZUZI!"
The Emir were awoken from his sleep. "WHAT, WHO, WHERE?!"
He fell off his camel into the sand.(Yes, real Emirs sleep on camels.)
"It's the year 1912 now Azuzi!"
The Emir shook his head. "1912? Well what happened with 1911?" He looked at his shadow confused.
"Well, nothing..."
"There's got to be something interesting going on, SOMETHING"
"Actually, if you look to your right."
Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid took a long, hard look eastwards. "Funny," he exclaimed, "there are Italian flags here... But this isn't Libya?"



(Obviously drunk, the Italians sailed around the Arabian Peninsula in the hopes of finding many treasures. All they found was Jebel Shammar.)


Suddenly, a couple of very Italian looking riders came closer.
"Hmph, great, Italians. just what I need," huffed the Emir.
"Ciao inhabitant. Our commander seem to have misplaced our maps and been a bit of a drinker and we accidently sailed somewhere to the... left of Libya. You wouldn't know the way back, would you?"
Clearly displeased at the lack of mention of Jebel Shammar, the Emirs retort might have seemed a bit aggressive.
"You damn foolish Italians, get out of my country, out! I don't want you around here!"

The Italians looked on in surprise, then travelled the minute-long trip back to Italian controlled lands. As they rode away, they could still hear the angry Emir scream at them: "I'M AN EMIR YOU KNOW, I DO HAVE POWER, YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. THIS IS A COUNTRY YOU KNOW, MY COUNTRY!"
This would be, but the start of a surely long and bloody rivalry between the two nations. A rivalry only one of them knew existed.

The Emir went back to mumbling and wondering when his life took a turn for the worse, but came to no conclusion on the matter before being disturbed by his Black Shadow once more.
"I bring exciting news Azuzi! Jebel Shammar has now finally gotten themselves an army!"



(The world looked on in amazement as the impossible happened.)


The Emir's face seemed to glow in excitement, "this is excellent news my dear shadow, now we can finally strike down our enemies. Prepare the camels, we are riding east to teach these Italians a lesson once and for all! Then turn south and finally defeat that bastard Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud! The world will be mine!" He let out a laughter, making sure it was loud enough so even the Italians could hear him.

"I hate to be a party-pooper, but we might possibly also have the worst army in the world. Our troops are fighting with a mixed assortment of swords, bows and cooking gear."
Once again(again), the Emir's face turned gloomy. He went back on his camel and sighed. "Nevermind, there is always next year, no?"

Then, like a spark of energy had run through his body, the Emir rose.
"Wait a minute, I have an idea!"



(The Emir's idea happened to have a fancy name.)


"Modern Military Establishment!"
"My god Azuzi," the Black Shadow looking on in amazement, "brilliant idea!"

Ah yes, life had suddenly taken a turn for the better. Everything seemed to turn out alright in the end...

The Black Shadow broke the silence "Emir Azuzi! We have a problem!"
"Please don't call me-"
"Our new army is eating up all the country's supplies!"
"Oh dear god..." The Emir put his palm to his face, sighing loudly(so even the Italians could hear him). "What do you suggest we do then Shadow?"
"We could build a Logistics Brigade?"
"Fine, do whatever you find necessary. The last thing we need, is a bunch of starving militiamen armed with cooking gear. Let me guess, this will take a long time?"
The Black Shadow started thinking. "Around 400 days or so."

... "Great"



(It's a neverending cycle.)


"Also, some Balkan countries have gone completely ballistic on our good Ottoman friends." the Shadow exclaimed.



(When you're dealing with Montenegro, you know you're in trouble.)


"Well," said the Emir. "That won't be a problem at all. The Ottoman Empire is powerful enough to stop-"



(-a fly. Stopping a bunch of angry Balkan countries, not so much.)


"I think I'll just go back to sleep now Shadow."
"You go do that Azuzi... you go do that."
"Don't call... me... zZzZz"
 
Last edited:

guy_montag

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YaY

looks intresting and promising!
good work ;-)

regards
guy montag
 

Asalto

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That's an awesome start, I love it! Please continue, I'll be following.
 

Mico94

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this has great potential:D
 

Meadow

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"Our troops are fighting with a mixed assortment of swords, bows and cooking gear."

I rofl'ed.
 

unmerged(169228)

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What an epic adventure of an Emir and his shadow :D.
 

El Pip

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This looks outstanding. I wish the Emir and his Black Shadow luck, for they will most certainly need it!
 

unmerged(166917)

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Brilliant ! :D
I'm in.
 

Grauuu

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guy_montag: Glad you found it interesting. Thanks.

Asalto: Happy to see you enjoyed the start! I'll continue it ;)

Mico94: Potential I'll hopefully reach, but we'll see in time.:D

Meadow: Glad you found it funny.

FlyingDutchie: If epic already, it'll be... even more epic later!

El Pip: They will need it, but do not worry, the Emir got a few tricks up his sleeve. Such as staring.

soulking: Their names are incredible, that's for sure. Glad you liked it.

history dude: Happy to see it got you laughing, lets see if I can keep this up for an extended period.

Karaiskandar: G-reat! Welcome aboard.

Thanks for all the comments.
-------------------------

Chapter Three
The continued preparation of Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid and Jebel Shammar against the mighty Italians and damned Nejd..ians.

Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid sat in his palace in Jawf.
What a somewhat-horrible place he has found himself to be ruler of.
With no resources to speak of, no population and a small army, the Emir found himself in something resembling, but not entirely the same as, hell.


"Azuzi!" yelled the Black Shadow, as the Emir fell off his camel again.
"It's already 1913! Any wishes for the new year?"
The Emir shook his head. "I swear, if I fall off this camel one more ti-"
"Perhaps we could be more focused on being powerful as a hawk, striking down enemies everywhere!"



(The Black Shadow doing his best impression of a hawk.)


"Fine, fine!" The Emir nodded with approval. "Just give me some time to relax for once."
"You've been doing nothing all year Azuzi, the men are restless, they need a leader!"
"Fine, I'll command them if you just shut up."



(The Emir never ceased to amaze.)


"So," asked the Emir, "what is my full title now?"
"That would be Head of State, Head of Government, Foreign Minister, Chief of Staff, Chief of the Army, General of the Royal Desert Corps and Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid."
"Impressive, I like it." Said the Emir as he struck a brave and quite Emir-y pose.
The Emir was interrupted in his posing, however, as a small rock was hurled at him.
"Jebel Shammarians all smell bad!" Was shouted.
"What!? Who dares defile the honour of the Jebel Shammarians and Head of State, Head of Government, Foreign Minister, Chief of Staff, Chief of the Army, General of the Royal Desert Corps and Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid?!"



(Those eyes can kill.)


"You!" shouted Emir Azuzi. "Get out of here, now!"
Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud let out a hardy laughter(or giggle), and continued: "If Jebel Shammar was an animal, it would be something tiny and stupid!"
Clearly feeling undermined by the rhetorical skills of his adversary, Emir Azuzi simply started staring.
Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud stared back.



(Déjà vu...)


As time passed by, the two Emirs were finally getting sleepy. Sooner or later, something was bound to happen.
Emir Abdul-Aziz ibn Abdul-Rahman Al Saud finally snapped, slapped Emir Azuzi across the face, then ran off. "Till we meet again Azuzi!"
"Don't call me Azuzi!" screamed Emir Saud ibn Abdul Aziz Al Rashid back.

He let out a loud yawn, then looked at his Black Shadow. "What did I miss?"
"Well..." explained the Shadow, "in the month you've been staring at each other, Spain has been invaded by France and the Three Pashas has managed to coup the government of the Ottomans."




(*Insert hilarious joke about the French here*)


"Is that it?"
"Actually, the Bulgarians also attacked the Serbians and Greeks, which in turned caused the Ottomans and Romanians to attack Bulgaria."



(The BCF was very much real, even in 1913.)


"Right, wake me up when something interesting happens. I'll be on my camel."



The Emir was awoken by a loud noise coming from a crowd of people nearby. He got up, looked around for a bit, then rightfully confronted his shadow.
"Hey, Black Shadow, what's going on here?"
"Oh, the soldiers are just celebrating the new Logistics Brigade we've made Azuzi. They'll starve no longer!"



(The world looked on as the impossible happened... again.)


"So how much will they eat now?" asked the Emir curiously.
"Well about that..."



(Look, this should actually be impossible, yet it happened.)


"... Using this new technology, sand has become the best treat for a soldier, allowing us to basically feed them nothing!"
"I don't know whether to be pleased or grossed out..." said the Emir, as he attempted to combine both emotions into a single expression.



(It looked something like this.)


The Emir cleared his throat. "What's the situation regarding our manpower then Black Shadow?"
The Black Shadow let out a sigh.



(This doesn't mix well with ambition.)


"I think I'll just go back to sleep again..." said the Emir.
"Must every update end with you sleeping?"
"... zZzZz..."
 

Asalto

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Another great update, just love the rivalry between the two Emirs. :rofl:
 

unmerged(166917)

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:eek: What happened with Spain and France ?