Heres the reply to that Collingwood!
Joachim Friedrich and his wife rode their horse through the countryside in December of 1604, on the outskirts of Berlin. Laughing and talking, as young lovers, they stopped. Leaping off his horse, he walked over the his wife putting his hands on her waist, and lifted her off the horse. They walked hand in hand over to a oak tree and sat down. They talked about so much that day, rather, he talked, she listened, about the running the nation, and about how they should raise their children as kings, etc.
The afternoon drifted by without either of them knowing what time it was. Joachim heard the faint gallop of hooves. At first he thought nothing of it, but when he looked in the direction of his gaurds, his chamberlain was rushing through them, his face red.
“My Lord! My Lord!, you must come at once!” the chamberlain cried.
Joachim rose slowly, angered that the two were interrupted he yelled at the chamberlain, “Put yourself together, before you enter our presence!” At which the chamberlain stopped, patting himself down, the dust billowed off his cloths. “Why must I come at once?” Joachim asked when the chamberlain was ready.
“We’ve just had word that Sweden has declared war on Russia my lord,” said the chamberlain.
“Yes…,” started Joachim, “we knew that was coming, we all ready agreed to support them. Why all the fuss? There had better be something dire chamberlain, because if you interrupted us becau…”
“My Lord, what the Swedes didn’t know, or what any of our allies didn’t know, was that that day we talked about it, the Russian Czar had just signed an alliance with Austria and Bohemia!”
Joachim leapt at the man in shock, “WHAT?”
“I sai…”
“Shut up, get on your horse,” at which he bowed to his wife, told some guards to see her home, leapt onto his horse and raced towards Berlin, with some gaurds and the chamberlain following.
On January 13 1605, he decided it was in his best interest to prepare to join the Evangelic Union. Then all hell broke loose…
Brandenburg shares a border with Bohemia, all large border. Russia shares a large border with Sweden and Courland, effectively ending all support they could lend Brandenburg, The Platinate, and Hannover. Brandenburg was utterly unprepared for war against these two nations, specifically not against the Emperor, who controlled many regions near them, (Hessen, Koln, Kleeves, Baden)
But if was Bohemia that launched the invasion into the Fatherland, when they destroyed an army of 15000 in Brandenburg, then lay seige to Berlin itself. Austria then entered Danzig, through Bohemia, laying siege to that. Austria then invades Anhalt as the Brandenburgian army was heading to Berlin to relieve the seige, the 20000 Brandenburg army was no march for the 35000 Austrian army. It lost 8500 men before retreating to Magdaburg. Austria then lay seige to Anhalt, and sent another army into Magdaburg. The army there new ahead of time and moved to Vorpommern. Vorpommern and Bremen began recruiting like crazy to fill the ranks of the army. On September 4 Anhalt fell to Austria. Brandenburg then sent the army in Vorpommern to Berlin to relieve the siege, with they thankfully did. This army then marched and relieved Magdaburg, while the army from Bremen marched down and lay siege to Anhalt. The Austrian army had moved into Hannover, laying down a siege. The Austrians also siege and took Pflaz from the Platinate, annexing them in March of ’06.
Between January 1 1606 and December 1 1606, rebellions in Holstein, Poznan, and thankfully Danzig sprung up becoming apparent that war exhaustion had kicked in. The rebellion in Danzig was put down by the Austrians. An army was raised in Brandenburg, and when ready attacked this beleaguered army, causing an Austrian retreat.
The army in Magdaburg was first sent to Poznan, then to Holstein, crushing the rebellions. Hannover fell to Austria in July of 1606 and Anhalt fell to Brandenburg in December of 1606. Joachim then sent his army from Anhalt to Hannover to attack the Austrians in stationed there. With the help of a small Hannoverian army, the Austrians were put on the retreat. Then laying siege to the Austrian held province, liberating it on September 30 1607. The two Brandenburg armies then converge on the Austrian held provinces. The first army invade Hessen in October of ’07 and the other invaded Kleves in November of ’07.
Sadly Joachim Friedrich passed away before he could bring the war to a close, and Johann Sigismund took up the sword of war. Late December of 1608 both Hessen and Kleves fall. With her northern armies shattered, by the miracle of God, and the strength of the armies of Brandenburg, Austria admitted defeat, ceding Hessen and Kleves to Brandenburg. Sweden brought the war to an end, by giving Russia 250 ducat as reparations.
The Greatest war as well as the most difficult Brandenburg had fought was over, he had survived near destruction, although a vassal was annexed. They had fought and held their own against the greatest nation in the Empire. But more hardships were to come…
