• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

EvilSanta

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Sing to the tune of "Run To The Hills" by Iron Maiden



Black men dwell, across the sea
They bring us gold, and ivory
We trade them clothes, we trade them beans
We use their gold, to armies needs

The Indians, live far to east
Their traders are, some bloody beasts
They have gold, for buying all of me
Oh will I gold of my own see

Trading through Chinaland, pricing hard on the spice
Selling the whitemen Chinese silk
Making worth more than a milk
Murder for spices, a stab for a vase
Police says that "this is a solved case"

Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums
Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums



Slavery thing is all nice and neat
Their rowing our trade fleet
Cheating the women and men face the same
The only good traders are lame
Selling them trash and taking the gold
Making a fortune selling the cows

Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums
Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums



Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums
Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums

Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums
Aa-raa-bii-aans
Buy-ing your mums
 

EvilSanta

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This is sort of sequel to my CK musicAAR "The Medieval KISS-AARmy - A MusicAAR About Nothing (link at the sig)

This will also be told entirely with relyriced songs as demonstrated upper. I know that EUIII doesnt offer me as good variety of events to draw my song material as CK but you will have to use your imagination more than there. I might post just one picture per update and then throw some lyrics fitting it.

And if you wonder "what in Gods name have those lyrics to do with the pictures???", well here is answer. I plan to concentrate on trading a lot, Arabia beeing such a poor place not really worth conquering.

Oh, I am using Stonewalls mod with some of my own modifications. For one I removed the outrageous -5 colonists penalty everyone except Christians have and second I removed the events that lead to forming of Russia and the like.
 
Last edited:

unmerged(63836)

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Dec 25, 2006
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So you moved to EU3, I started to believe you started serious AAR ;) .
That`s real masterpiece Evilsanta :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 

EvilSanta

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Sing to the tune of "Born To Be Alive" by Patrick hernandez

We were born to get, married
We were born to get, married

Born, born to get married
(Won't you get married)
Yes you were born
Born, born
(Born to be servant)



People ask me "can I have your very pretty cousin as my
Wife wife wife"
It does have always really helped our bad relations to
Thrive thrive thrive



Yes we were born
Born, born to get married
(Born to enslave you)
Yes we were born
Born, born
(Born to inherit )
It's good to get married
To get married
To get married

It's good to get married
To get married
To get married
It's good to get married



Marriage allows me to enslave all of your puny little
Kings, kings kings
For wife has the ability to make men forgot all of their
Things things things

Yes you were born, born
Born to get inherited
(Born to get inherited)
Yes you were born, born, born
(Born to be enslaved)
Yes you were born, born
Born to be enslaved
(Born to be enslaved)
Yes you were born, born, born
(Born to serve my son)
Yes you were born, born
Born to serve my son
(Born to be servant)
Yes you were born, born, born
(To get inherited)



Born, born to be enslaved
(Born to be enslaved)
Yes you were born, born, born
(Born to be servant)

Born, born to be servant
 
Last edited:

Lord E

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Great the first EUIII music AAR. Very nice and funny so far :rofl:
 

EvilSanta

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Sing to the tune of "Lets Get Rocked" by Def Leppard

Do you wanna get allied?

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get
Allied

I'm an average, ordinary, everyday king
Happy to ally anyone
I don't cheat my kin
I got a million ways to help ally, all people do agree
Cause when friend gets invaded I
Got plans for it



Get your men work for me - Stop buggin' me
Get allied and defend my borders - Don't fear hordes
I said
Get allied - Who me?
Form union? - Not my style man!
Give access? - No way!
Make trade deal? - C'mon get real!
Sorry dude, gotta say "no" here
Now get the suck outta here



Zero-day weekends
Up all night
Gonna need help
Even beg I might
Can't beat an attack
Can't win alone
So join me, dear pal
Come on, come on, come on



Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Let's go all the way, guarantee give I may
C'mon let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied



I'm an average, ordinary everyday sheik
Ruling in my country, to make it more than fake
Im trading even in Indian Cots and Im ready to train some troops
So what I got is not a joke and I can show it too



It is - Oman, Hedjaz, Mamelukes
It makes me wanna cooperate - Najd, Ottomans, anyone?
Join me! - That ain't my scene
Well, okay dude, here's my confession
I think your not out of question



Zero-day weekends
Up all night
Gonna need help
Even beg I might
Can't beat an attack
Can't win alone
So join me, dear pal
Come on, come on, come on

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Let's go all the way, guarantee give I may
C'mon let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied

Oh, all I want is to have a mate looking at my back
Every time I ask you to join I get "something here lacks"
Heaven knows I'm sick'n'tired of begging from these pals

I feel lucky today
Hey, look at that land!
Do ya wanna get allied?
Do ya wanna get allied?



Oh,
It won't take you an army
It won't take you troops
So get on, my buddy
Oh, c'mon
Everybody!

Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Become top fella
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Do ya wanna?
Do ya wanna?
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Get ready for it
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Love to use your army, fella
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied
Let's go all the way
Let's guarantee mate
Let's get out and play
Fight heathens away
C'mon
Let's get, let's get, let's get, let's get allied



You wanted to ally
 

Dysken

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Great to see a follow up. But is the Kiss-AARmy discontinued?
 

EvilSanta

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Time to make first replys (after 3 updates I have gained 3 replies and 100 views, even my CK one is more lively. Is this so much worse than that one?)

Dysken: No, no. KISS-AARmy has still many countries to invade and songs to sing. This is like Doomsday, a stand-alone expansion to it :)

Lord E: Thank you. If you are interested, my CK AAR has exactly same pattern.

...

Should I get a special mention to librAARy for making first musicAAR? *nudge nudge wink wink rowr rowr meow meow ooooooowww to Duke*

thrashing mad: Me? Serious AAR? That is so crazy idea it might even work!

And that song was dedicated to you. I remembered that you requested it in the CK one so I made one. It is gift for making your awesome Polish AAR.

And by the way, if someone hasnt worked it out yet, the name of the song works as a link to that songs YouTube video to help you following.
 

Snake IV

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Nice, another one.
 

unmerged(11366)

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Oh my gosh! He's at it with two simultaneously!

*head spins*

EvilSanta is kind of like ... RodgAARs and HammAARstein. :cool: Or AARving Berlin. Or George and AARa Gershwin. Or Andrew Lloyd WebbAAR ................................................ or .......................................................something
 

EvilSanta

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Sing to the tune of "Sex Over The Phone" by Village People

Go go verment level
Go go verment level
Go go verment level
Go go verment level



When you give money
To your scientist buddy
You will make progress
No more nation regress
And it will you allow
Your pride swallow
And have more men pal
By changing law feudal

Mo, narchy feudal
Mo mo narchy feudal
Mo, narchy feudal
Mo mo narchy feudal



When simply I say "I want my goverment to change"
All of my stupid people feel oppressed
I dont care what they think I anyway it make
And all revolts will get violently supressed



Mo, narchy feudal
Mo mo narchy feudal
Mo, narchy feudal
Mo mo narchy feudal

This is the techings prize
I have ideas like
Own national bank
And inflation sank
I can trading use
For making money, goose
I can troops provide
Invade even I might



Na, national bank
Na na national bank
Na, national bank
Na na national bank

Go, verment level
Go go verment level
Go, verment level
Go go verment level

Its teching that I need
My success quaranteed
It costs much but Im surely investing
Its large piece of my small budget but come on dude
Come let muskets do the, talking

Go, verment level
Go go verment level
Mo, narchy feudal
Na na national bank
 

EvilSanta

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When I saw that video on YuTube, I knew I had to make one about it. Definately not the best song around but rather funny.

thrashing mad: You are welcome, buddy. ;)

Snake IV: Don't tell anyone but I actually have third one under planning. It will have to wait until atleast other one is finished. But think about it: "A MusicAAR About Everything", the end of trilogy.

It turned out my testweek didnt slow down me writing these things afterall. :D

Well, it is partly because my testweek is now easier than usual and it is hard to motivate myself reading then. :eek:o

Hajji Giray I: And even during my testweek! I must be nuts or something. But this just is so much fun.

Got to hope my tests wont go completely shitty. I dont have a good feeling about any of the 3 I have already made this far but it is the way it should be. Always when I feel that "I nailed it this time" it is just 7 or something.
 

Lord E

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A lot of fine progress there, and that video/song was very funny:rofl:
 

unmerged(62343)

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Do your musical tastes run to all these catagories and era's or do you just find them randomly?
 

unmerged(60841)

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The Indian in the Village People currently has this really amusing (possibly pathetic?) half-time show he does at Basketball games. I saw it once, and it definitely made this update memorable to me. Glad you're expanding the musical empire Santa. I don't have EU III yet (resisting the urge-can't afford a new addiction) but this is amusing stuff.
 

EvilSanta

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Sing to the tune of "Beautiful World" by Devo

Its a beautiful land I claim mine
A sweet lucrative place
Courteus people not one swine
The way they sow their grain
Makes me want to say



Its a productive land, its a productive land, its a productive land
For me, for me, for me



Its a wonderful time to go there
Its nice to have CeeBee
Affluent people everywhere
It is land of spice and sea
Makes me want to say



Its a productive land, its a productive land, its a productive land
For me, for me, for me

Hey

I just won a fight



Oman armies are all extinct
So I gained my first big win
Hey hey



Its a beautiful land I invaded
A sweet lucrative place
Spice trade is really worth the dead
The way they make their trade
Makes me want to say

Its a productive land, its a productive land, its a productive land
For me, for me, for me
Its not for you



Its a productive land
For me
Its a productive land
For me
Its a productive land
For me
Its a productive land
Not you
Its a productive land
Its a productive land
Its a productive land
Its a productive land
 

EvilSanta

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So, testweek is over and Im back on business. (hah, like that testweek slowed me down! It went pretty well, anyway)

Lord E: Have to say Im pretty amazed I got goverment after a year without even really investing in i. The better, national bank allows me to cash my nice trade income and allowed me to arm troops enough for that Oman fight.

grayghost: Yes, I do have quite varied musical taste and I listen to these outside this, too. But there are also songs/artists I absolutely hate (Justin Timberlake, Darin and similar teen pop-idols for example. Grrrrr!)

JimboIX: Of course I have to preach the Word to people outside CK. ;)

Like I have hinted before, there might be a third one to make this a trilogy. That "duology" just doesn't sound so cool.
 

Lord E

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Nice update. Seems like the war went really well and your country has certainly grown in size. The song was nice also, although not as crazy and funny as the last one, but it was good and fitted the update