-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
March 4
Today, after reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "Today we slaughtered them in the harbour. They are out of Newcastle International Harbour. The force that was in the harbour, this force was destroyed."
March 5
Today, after more reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "We have crushed the whole force which dared to venture there [the harbour]. Now they're outside the wall and the heroic Newcastle Guard is now in control of the whole area. So where are those villainous louts, those mercenaries?"
Just what would we do without the heroic Newcastle Guard? I'm so relieved.
March 6
Today, after even more reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "Today, the tide has turned, we are destroying them. You can go and visit those places. Nothing there. Nothing at all. There are English checkpoints. Everything is fine."
March 7
Today, after a great number of reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "They are nowhere near the harbour. They are lost in the woods. They are retarded. We are not afraid of the Scots. God has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid!"
March 8
No news about the situation in Newcastle today. Hopefully no news is good news.
Today, after reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "Today we slaughtered them in the harbour. They are out of Newcastle International Harbour. The force that was in the harbour, this force was destroyed."
March 5
Today, after more reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "We have crushed the whole force which dared to venture there [the harbour]. Now they're outside the wall and the heroic Newcastle Guard is now in control of the whole area. So where are those villainous louts, those mercenaries?"
Just what would we do without the heroic Newcastle Guard? I'm so relieved.
March 6
Today, after even more reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "Today, the tide has turned, we are destroying them. You can go and visit those places. Nothing there. Nothing at all. There are English checkpoints. Everything is fine."
March 7
Today, after a great number of reports of fighting near the harbour, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "They are nowhere near the harbour. They are lost in the woods. They are retarded. We are not afraid of the Scots. God has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid!"
March 8
No news about the situation in Newcastle today. Hopefully no news is good news.
March 9
Today, after a few reports of the vile smell of haggis in the centre of Newcastle, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 soldiers into the centre of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind."
March 10
Today, after numerous reports of the vile smell of haggis in the centre of Newcastle, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked. We butchered the force present at the harbour, we are destroying them."
A very clever trap seems to have been sprung.
March 11
Today, after someone claimed that there were still Scottish soldiers in the centre of Newcastle, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "I now inform you that you are too far from reality. I triple guarantee you, there are no Scottish soldiers in Newcastle. We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."
If this is true, surely certain victory can't be far off.
March 12
Today, the countryside outside Newcastle was apparently looted and the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "We are in control, they are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."
Today, after a few reports of the vile smell of haggis in the centre of Newcastle, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 soldiers into the centre of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind."
March 10
Today, after numerous reports of the vile smell of haggis in the centre of Newcastle, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked. We butchered the force present at the harbour, we are destroying them."
A very clever trap seems to have been sprung.
March 11
Today, after someone claimed that there were still Scottish soldiers in the centre of Newcastle, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "I now inform you that you are too far from reality. I triple guarantee you, there are no Scottish soldiers in Newcastle. We're giving them a real lesson today. Heavy doesn't accurately describe the level of casualties we have inflicted."
If this is true, surely certain victory can't be far off.
March 12
Today, the countryside outside Newcastle was apparently looted and the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "We are in control, they are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."
Well, I'm still following this AAR and I must say it's hysterical. I find it hard to believe that such... sentences... were uttered outside Calvin & Hobbes. :wacko: :rofl:
March 13
The King, apparently not totally convinced of the cleverness of the defenders of Newcastle, summoned my father and me today. What followed both shocked and awed me, but in a positive way, I may add. Henry V proceeded to say that he had always admired my cunning and ability to gather valuable information and that my nickname was totally justified. He then asked my father permission to employ me as a Royal Spy, to which my father replied: "It would be a great honour, Your Majesty." I was speechless for a good while. Then I started stammering. And finally I nodded and managed to utter the seemingly simple word "Yes". King Henry then asked me what agent name I would like to take. After thinking it over for a few seconds, I replied: "James Bondage, your Majesty. James after my grandfather and Bondage because I consider myself nothing but your humblest of servants." "Very well", the King replied. "Your first mission is to infiltrate Newcastle and tell me what REALLY goes on there. You will receive a Royal Letter, which will grant you the right to command help from everyone in my Kingdom who may be of help to you. You know, I may even throw in a License to Kill, but please note that stealth is to be preferred. However, in an emergency..."
I got the idea and was extremely excited. I didn't get much sleep that night, and early the next day I was on my way to Newcastle as a Royal Spy.
March 14
A rather uneventful day due to the heavy rain. In between the downpours I amused myself playing "I spy".
The spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "They fled. The Scottish louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Newcastle Socialist Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the Scottish soldiers. We had not anticipated this."
If this is true, I'll soon be back in London.
The King, apparently not totally convinced of the cleverness of the defenders of Newcastle, summoned my father and me today. What followed both shocked and awed me, but in a positive way, I may add. Henry V proceeded to say that he had always admired my cunning and ability to gather valuable information and that my nickname was totally justified. He then asked my father permission to employ me as a Royal Spy, to which my father replied: "It would be a great honour, Your Majesty." I was speechless for a good while. Then I started stammering. And finally I nodded and managed to utter the seemingly simple word "Yes". King Henry then asked me what agent name I would like to take. After thinking it over for a few seconds, I replied: "James Bondage, your Majesty. James after my grandfather and Bondage because I consider myself nothing but your humblest of servants." "Very well", the King replied. "Your first mission is to infiltrate Newcastle and tell me what REALLY goes on there. You will receive a Royal Letter, which will grant you the right to command help from everyone in my Kingdom who may be of help to you. You know, I may even throw in a License to Kill, but please note that stealth is to be preferred. However, in an emergency..."
I got the idea and was extremely excited. I didn't get much sleep that night, and early the next day I was on my way to Newcastle as a Royal Spy.
March 14
A rather uneventful day due to the heavy rain. In between the downpours I amused myself playing "I spy".
The spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "They fled. The Scottish louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Newcastle Socialist Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the Scottish soldiers. We had not anticipated this."
If this is true, I'll soon be back in London.
Sabre Man said:
I for one am skeptical. I think young James Bondage will stay on duty in Newcastle for quite some time.
March 15
More heavy rain. As we approached Newcastle, I could see the city burning in several places. I also saw a wet kilt beside the road. It was easily enough to make me squirm.
I stayed the night in a farmhouse some distance from the city. Upon producing my Royal letter, my host produced his lovely young daughter, Anne. She's a pretty little brunette but her body is a little on the athletic side.
March 16
I rose early and bid farewell to my host and his daughter. Slowly and carefully I approached Newcastle. When darkness fell, I sneaked past groups of rowdy young Scots to enter the city. The smell of the enemy and their haggis made it easy to avoid them when taking advantage of the wind direction. No doubt, they hadn't had a bath in a good while.
March 17
To my horror, I discovered that the enemy was deeper entrenched than I had anticipated. Despite this, I personally heard the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issue the following statement: "We are chasing the cowardly imbeciles back into the woods. Eating beetles and roots, they are begging for mercy. We are harsh but fair. Soon, the war will be over."
March 18
I have heard and seen enough to appreciate the seriousness of the situation. The morale boosting speeches of the spokesman for the Newcastle town council are obviously nothing but a sham, and the Scottish commander no doubt knows it. With no hope of a relief force in the foreseeable future, the question I need an answer to is how long Newcastle can hold out. And I also have a more personal question I need an answer to.
More heavy rain. As we approached Newcastle, I could see the city burning in several places. I also saw a wet kilt beside the road. It was easily enough to make me squirm.
I stayed the night in a farmhouse some distance from the city. Upon producing my Royal letter, my host produced his lovely young daughter, Anne. She's a pretty little brunette but her body is a little on the athletic side.
March 16
I rose early and bid farewell to my host and his daughter. Slowly and carefully I approached Newcastle. When darkness fell, I sneaked past groups of rowdy young Scots to enter the city. The smell of the enemy and their haggis made it easy to avoid them when taking advantage of the wind direction. No doubt, they hadn't had a bath in a good while.
March 17
To my horror, I discovered that the enemy was deeper entrenched than I had anticipated. Despite this, I personally heard the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issue the following statement: "We are chasing the cowardly imbeciles back into the woods. Eating beetles and roots, they are begging for mercy. We are harsh but fair. Soon, the war will be over."
March 18
I have heard and seen enough to appreciate the seriousness of the situation. The morale boosting speeches of the spokesman for the Newcastle town council are obviously nothing but a sham, and the Scottish commander no doubt knows it. With no hope of a relief force in the foreseeable future, the question I need an answer to is how long Newcastle can hold out. And I also have a more personal question I need an answer to.
Having just bought Victoria, and considering how time-consuming this AAR is, I'm wondering if anyone would like to collaborate on it.
If anyone is interested, please PM me with suggestions for diary entries for the next few days and we'll take it from there.
If anyone is interested, please PM me with suggestions for diary entries for the next few days and we'll take it from there.
March 19
Today I followed the town councillor around all morning. He didn't seem to do very much, except for a few morale boosting speeches to the pitiful troops. In the afternoon, I tried to locate the Ye Olde Cheese Emporium, or more correctly, the proprietor's lovely daughter, Jane, but all that was left of the once great cheese shop was a heap of ruins and the smell of melted cheese. Those filthy Scots had burnt the whole neighbourhood more or less down to the ground!
March 20
After following the town councillor around for most of the day, I now have a clearer picture of him. His favourite pastimes include defining the colour white, watching stones, digging holes and gathering moss, so he's primarily the outdoor type. I've also heard rumours he enjoys camel spotting at weekends, but so far I've been unable to verify this either way. Also, he has got a pet hedgehog named Spiny Norman and despite his many interesting interests he is still a bachelor.
Today I followed the town councillor around all morning. He didn't seem to do very much, except for a few morale boosting speeches to the pitiful troops. In the afternoon, I tried to locate the Ye Olde Cheese Emporium, or more correctly, the proprietor's lovely daughter, Jane, but all that was left of the once great cheese shop was a heap of ruins and the smell of melted cheese. Those filthy Scots had burnt the whole neighbourhood more or less down to the ground!
March 20
After following the town councillor around for most of the day, I now have a clearer picture of him. His favourite pastimes include defining the colour white, watching stones, digging holes and gathering moss, so he's primarily the outdoor type. I've also heard rumours he enjoys camel spotting at weekends, but so far I've been unable to verify this either way. Also, he has got a pet hedgehog named Spiny Norman and despite his many interesting interests he is still a bachelor.
March 21
Today I decided to study the case of the disappeared cheese shop girl a little closer, so I went back to the smelly remains of the shop and located a few of the people I had noticed last time I visited this fair city. Soon my persistence gave results. When the Scottish soldiers attacked, they pillaged the area and set fire to several of the buildings, including the cheese shop. Most of the people in the area managed to escape with their lives, but unfortunately not Jane's father, who was heard crying out "Cheese fondue! Hurry while stocks last!" as the cheese shop went up in flames. Jane, her mother and her younger brother escaped and are now thought to be living with her grandparents in London. That's interesting!
March 22
After a few days without much fighting, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "To call the Scottish soldiers cowards is an insult to cowards everywhere. Let it just be known that they are falling over one another trying to escape." I knew it was a lie. And I was on my way back to report it.
Today I decided to study the case of the disappeared cheese shop girl a little closer, so I went back to the smelly remains of the shop and located a few of the people I had noticed last time I visited this fair city. Soon my persistence gave results. When the Scottish soldiers attacked, they pillaged the area and set fire to several of the buildings, including the cheese shop. Most of the people in the area managed to escape with their lives, but unfortunately not Jane's father, who was heard crying out "Cheese fondue! Hurry while stocks last!" as the cheese shop went up in flames. Jane, her mother and her younger brother escaped and are now thought to be living with her grandparents in London. That's interesting!
March 22
After a few days without much fighting, the spokesman for the Newcastle town council issued the following statement: "To call the Scottish soldiers cowards is an insult to cowards everywhere. Let it just be known that they are falling over one another trying to escape." I knew it was a lie. And I was on my way back to report it.