How the hell could I've missed that you have been writing a new AAR this long? I'll start reading right away! Keep up what I'm sure is great work. 
-
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Well, I didn't mean to let my break take that long. It seems I've been gone for quite some time. Well, this next update goes out to all of you who still bother checking this thread.
Enjoy the quick tour!
Enjoy the quick tour!
Cast: King Zog I, Midhat Frashëri, Ruok Geraj, Lead Scientist
June 12th, 1938
"Mmm... Strawberries," mumbled Zog.
"Yes, they're wonderful, but there are more important things to do, Zog," explained Midhat feverishly.
"That's Lord Buttercup to you, mister!" replied Zog angrily.
Ruok fell out of his chair.
"Wh-What?" stammered Midhat.
"Ow... What's this?" said Ruok, getting back up.
Zog, peeking over his pile of strawberries, eyed Ruok, while Midhat eyed Zog.
"What is what?" snapped Midhat.
"I think... I think I made an Accidental Discovery, some sort of Miraculous Breakthrough," said Ruok, scratching his head.
"Well, isn't this exciting?" said Zog gleefully, bouncing in his seat.
Midhat looked at Zog wearily, then turned away quickly as Zog downed another strawberry.
"Gulp," he said.
"Lord Buttercup," started Ruok and Zog smiled. "I believe I'd better get this discovery to the scientists as quickly as possible, lest I forget what it is."
"Right! I'll come with you," replied Zog happily. He grabbed another strawberry and his 7 Iron and walked off with Ruok.
Midhat also grabbed a strawberry after Zog's back was turned. He then proceeded to pick up his driver and followed the other two.
They walked right out of Zog's office and closed the door behind them. Midhat couldn't help but notice what had been printed on the glass.
"King Zog I - Lord Buttercup"
On their journey, they first walked by a door marked, "Zog's Personal Stuff." This door not only had a lock and security system, but it even had its very own sleeping guard. Zog kicked him as they passed. The next door they encountered was marked, "Zog's Other-er, Stuff." This door had two guards, neither of which were sleeping. Zog kicked them anyway. They continued lazily down the hall chatting about world conquest and ways to avoid it. They passed "Human Resources - 1st Division," "Human Resources - 2nd Division," and "Human Resources - If You're Here, You'd Be Better Off Unemployed" before they came to the door marked, "Secret, uh, Things." This door required security clearance, the guard told them so after Zog had woken him up with a swift kick. Zog merely stated that he was Lord Buttercup. This appeared to be enough for the guard, as he allowed them to pass.
This door led to another hallway so they began walking. They passed, "Not Really Secret," "Pretty Secret," "Keep Out," "Janitorial Supplies," "Only Zog Knows," and "Even Zog Doesn't Know." They paused after the last one as Zog made a double take. He turned and moved as if he wanted to go in that door, but Ruok and Midhat held him back.
"But I wanna," complained Zog, trying to break their grip.
"Read the door, Zog, you're not supposed to know," said Midhat.
Zog nodded and began to walk away, Midhat and Ruok followed. Zog took a few longing looks over his shoulder at the door, but did not make another fuss. They passed a door labelled, "Torture Chamber." They could hear screams from this room. They passed another door labelled, "Torture Chamber Annex," and heard more screams. They passed, "That's Gotta Hurt" and "Yes, It Did," and heard more screaming. After which they passed, "Good Wholesome Family Fun," there was screaming behind that door as well, for some reason. They passed a couple more doors labelled, "Mistakes," and "Oops, We Did It Again," until they finally found the door they were looking for, "Science 101."
They entered and the scientists looked up. Each was wearing a white lab coat and pocket protector. One scientist walked up to them, they could tell he was in charge because he had the flashiest pocket protector.
"What's up, Doc?" asked Zog.
"Lord Buttercup, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here today?"
"Ruok here made an accidental discovery," Zog said, patting Ruok on the shoulder.
"Ah, excellent," said the scientist. "What is it?"
"I'm... uh... I'm... afraid I forgot," said Ruok blushing.
"Right..." replied the scientist. "I'll be off then," and he was off.
"What a fun trip!" exclaimed Zog. "Who's up for some golf?"
June 12th, 1938
"Mmm... Strawberries," mumbled Zog.
"Yes, they're wonderful, but there are more important things to do, Zog," explained Midhat feverishly.
"That's Lord Buttercup to you, mister!" replied Zog angrily.
Ruok fell out of his chair.
"Wh-What?" stammered Midhat.
"Ow... What's this?" said Ruok, getting back up.
Zog, peeking over his pile of strawberries, eyed Ruok, while Midhat eyed Zog.
"What is what?" snapped Midhat.
"I think... I think I made an Accidental Discovery, some sort of Miraculous Breakthrough," said Ruok, scratching his head.
"Well, isn't this exciting?" said Zog gleefully, bouncing in his seat.
Midhat looked at Zog wearily, then turned away quickly as Zog downed another strawberry.
"Gulp," he said.
"Lord Buttercup," started Ruok and Zog smiled. "I believe I'd better get this discovery to the scientists as quickly as possible, lest I forget what it is."
"Right! I'll come with you," replied Zog happily. He grabbed another strawberry and his 7 Iron and walked off with Ruok.
Midhat also grabbed a strawberry after Zog's back was turned. He then proceeded to pick up his driver and followed the other two.
They walked right out of Zog's office and closed the door behind them. Midhat couldn't help but notice what had been printed on the glass.
"King Zog I - Lord Buttercup"
On their journey, they first walked by a door marked, "Zog's Personal Stuff." This door not only had a lock and security system, but it even had its very own sleeping guard. Zog kicked him as they passed. The next door they encountered was marked, "Zog's Other-er, Stuff." This door had two guards, neither of which were sleeping. Zog kicked them anyway. They continued lazily down the hall chatting about world conquest and ways to avoid it. They passed "Human Resources - 1st Division," "Human Resources - 2nd Division," and "Human Resources - If You're Here, You'd Be Better Off Unemployed" before they came to the door marked, "Secret, uh, Things." This door required security clearance, the guard told them so after Zog had woken him up with a swift kick. Zog merely stated that he was Lord Buttercup. This appeared to be enough for the guard, as he allowed them to pass.
This door led to another hallway so they began walking. They passed, "Not Really Secret," "Pretty Secret," "Keep Out," "Janitorial Supplies," "Only Zog Knows," and "Even Zog Doesn't Know." They paused after the last one as Zog made a double take. He turned and moved as if he wanted to go in that door, but Ruok and Midhat held him back.
"But I wanna," complained Zog, trying to break their grip.
"Read the door, Zog, you're not supposed to know," said Midhat.
Zog nodded and began to walk away, Midhat and Ruok followed. Zog took a few longing looks over his shoulder at the door, but did not make another fuss. They passed a door labelled, "Torture Chamber." They could hear screams from this room. They passed another door labelled, "Torture Chamber Annex," and heard more screams. They passed, "That's Gotta Hurt" and "Yes, It Did," and heard more screaming. After which they passed, "Good Wholesome Family Fun," there was screaming behind that door as well, for some reason. They passed a couple more doors labelled, "Mistakes," and "Oops, We Did It Again," until they finally found the door they were looking for, "Science 101."
They entered and the scientists looked up. Each was wearing a white lab coat and pocket protector. One scientist walked up to them, they could tell he was in charge because he had the flashiest pocket protector.
"What's up, Doc?" asked Zog.
"Lord Buttercup, what a pleasant surprise! What brings you here today?"
"Ruok here made an accidental discovery," Zog said, patting Ruok on the shoulder.
"Ah, excellent," said the scientist. "What is it?"
"I'm... uh... I'm... afraid I forgot," said Ruok blushing.
"Right..." replied the scientist. "I'll be off then," and he was off.
"What a fun trip!" exclaimed Zog. "Who's up for some golf?"
This is my new update song:
Satcho,
up date this thread
it is at the bottom of the list
and we are all getting p*****
So update your AAR!
Satcho,
up date this thread
it is at the bottom of the list
and we are all getting p*****
So update your AAR!
You posted in the OT forum, I know you're here somewhere! Even a little update would be better than none at all!
Mr. Capiatlist said:You posted in the OT forum, I know you're here somewhere! Even a little update would be better than none at all!
Sorry, bud, I have this clinical condition known as laziness...
o OT forum doesn't require me to be creative and think of something funny. But anyway, tonight I'm going to set up the computer that has the files on it and I'm going to transfer them over to the computer that I actually do use. When I have the files at my fingertips I will have fewer excuses to not update and all will be well. I'll use the time between now and tonight to try to figure out what in the world I'm going to write about.
Woops! Sorry about not updating yesterday, but check back later on tonight, you won't be disappointed!
Unless you don't find the update funny, then I guess you'll be disappointed...o
Unless you don't find the update funny, then I guess you'll be disappointed...
o
How have I managed to completely miss this AAR? Now that I stumbled upon it and read the whole thing: this is hilarious, Satcho, but I guess you already know that!
Figures... I say I'm going to update and then I'm not able to connect to the forum for the rest of the day. It's all a plot by Paradox to make me a liar, I say!
Anyway, here you go.
Anyway, here you go.
Cast: King Zog I, Midhat Frashëri, Ruok Geraj, Jocelyn Percy, Benito Mussolini, Announcer
June 17th, 1938
The announcer stepped up to the microphone in the middle of the ring and began to speak.
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies and Gentlemen! Welcome to tonight's influencing between the Italian 'Empire' and the Kingdom of Albania. The opponents are a bit uneven but it promises to be exciting. Let's meet the combatants!
"In the red corner, weighing in at 230 pounds, the undefeated champion of Abyssinia, Benito "Muscles" Mussolini!"
The crowd booed as 'Muscles' raised his arms in the air and showed off his gut.
"And in the black corner, weighing in at 140 pounds, the 4 time champion of his own golf course, King "The Zoginator" Zog I!"
The crowd cheered loudly as Zog raised his arms, tripped over his shoelace, got back up, and ran back over to his trainer to have him take a look at the scrape on his shin. The bell rang and both fighters walked out to the middle of the ring and met with the referee.
"You two know the rules, no hitting below the belt and no hugging, this isn't a lovey-dovey episode. I want this to be a clean influencing, so go back to your corners and when the bell rings come out fighting."
'Muscles' hit Zog's gloves and almost knocked Zog down, then moved back to his corner. Zog gulped and walked to his corner.
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die..." muttered Zog to himself.
Ding!
Zog tried to catapult himself over the ropes to try and escape, but his trainer, who happened to be Midhat, blocked his way.
"You've gotta fight, Zog, no turning back now."
"That's King Zog I to-" Zog began before he got clobbered by 'Muscles.'
Zog crumpled and fell to the ground. 'Muscles' grinned evilly and walked back to his corner. Midhat smacked his forehead.
"One!" shouted the referee.
Zog had little X's over his eyes.
"Two!"
The little birdies around Zog's head tweeted happily.
"Three!"
Zog moaned.
"Four!"
Zog groaned.
"Five!"
The birdies looked a little dejected as Zog slowly began to move.
"Six!"
Zog was on his elbows now.
"Seven!"
Zog was no longer on his elbows.
"Eight!"
Zog was on his elbows again.
"Nine!"
Zog just managed to get to his feet before the referee said the word that Albania was dreading. Cheering ensued... Until the bell rang again.
Ding!
'Muscles' charged and Zog, who was a little unaware of his current predicament, lost his balance and staggered to the side. 'Muscles' was a little unprepared for this and found himself unable to stop, so he just kept charging to the side of the ring, over the ropes, and onto Ruok's lap.
"Security! Air force! We need security and air force!" shouted Jocelyn jumping up from behind 'Muscles.' "I'll get on it!" He then rushed out the door, called a taxi, and left for the nearest weight loss center.
"Gasp!" said the audience.
"One!" shouted the referee.
"Eh?" inquired Zog.
"Ugh," moaned 'Muscles.'
"I'll add this to my list of unpleasant things," said Ruok and buckled under 'Muscles's' weight. "Check, please!"
"Two!"
Midhat was beckoning Zog back to his corner.
"Three!"
Zog seemed to start remembering where he was.
"Four!"
Zog hurried over to Midhat.
"Five!"
'Muscles' shifted his weight. Ruok let out a little cry.
"Six!"
'Muscles' stood up. Zog let out a little cry.
"Seven!"
'Muscles' walked back to the ring. The paramedics rushed to Ruok.
"Eight!"
'Muscles' moved the ropes out of his way and put one foot in the ring.
"Nine!"
'Muscles' was now fully in the ring. Tears could be seen in Zog's eyes.
Ding!
'Muscles' charged Zog again, the dolt, and Zog jumped out of the way. Midhat wasn't so lucky and was thrown from the ring as 'Muscles' hit the turnbuckle. The paramedics moaned and rushed over to help Midhat. 'Muscles' grunted, snorted, pounded his foot, and charged Zog again. Zog felt the urge to say, "Olé!" but decided instead to dive to the side just in time to miss 'Muscles' as he rushed past. 'Muscles' roared in frustration, pounded his feet, and charged once more.
"That's it," thought Zog. "This is where I fight back."
So, naturally, Zog put one hand over his eyes and stuck the other arm straight out ahead of him. After the briefest of moments he felt a sharp pain originating at his outstretched fist and running the length of his arm. He stumbled backwards, let out a little, "Mommy!" and came to rest on the ropes.
"One!"
"Wait! I didn't fall!" shouted Zog as he opened his eyes to see 'Muscles' sprawled out on the ring floor. "Oh."
"Two!"
Zog walked back to his corner.
"Three!"
Zog realized the crowd was cheering loudly.
"Four!"
Zog looked at 'Muscles' and saw that muscles had a stupid smile stuck on his face.
"Five!"
Zog had a feeling he knew what that meant.
"Six!"
"Stay down," urged Zog quietly. "Stay down!"
"Seven!"
"Oh, please, please, pretty please!"
"Eight!"
The cheering grew louder.
"Nine!"
Zog sighed in relief.
"Ten! You're out!"
Zog thrusted his arms in the air and bounced around the ring. It was over, he had won! The crowd began to swarm the ring, when they reached Zog, they hoisted him in the air.
"Zog! Zog! Zog!" they chanted.
"Me! Me! Me!" Zog sang happily.
'Muscles' moaned as a rather frightened Italian man tried to wake his leader. The cheering continued and Zog smiled happily. Italy had hardly influenced Albania.
June 17th, 1938
The announcer stepped up to the microphone in the middle of the ring and began to speak.
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaadies and Gentlemen! Welcome to tonight's influencing between the Italian 'Empire' and the Kingdom of Albania. The opponents are a bit uneven but it promises to be exciting. Let's meet the combatants!
"In the red corner, weighing in at 230 pounds, the undefeated champion of Abyssinia, Benito "Muscles" Mussolini!"
The crowd booed as 'Muscles' raised his arms in the air and showed off his gut.
"And in the black corner, weighing in at 140 pounds, the 4 time champion of his own golf course, King "The Zoginator" Zog I!"
The crowd cheered loudly as Zog raised his arms, tripped over his shoelace, got back up, and ran back over to his trainer to have him take a look at the scrape on his shin. The bell rang and both fighters walked out to the middle of the ring and met with the referee.
"You two know the rules, no hitting below the belt and no hugging, this isn't a lovey-dovey episode. I want this to be a clean influencing, so go back to your corners and when the bell rings come out fighting."
'Muscles' hit Zog's gloves and almost knocked Zog down, then moved back to his corner. Zog gulped and walked to his corner.
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die..." muttered Zog to himself.
Ding!
Zog tried to catapult himself over the ropes to try and escape, but his trainer, who happened to be Midhat, blocked his way.
"You've gotta fight, Zog, no turning back now."
"That's King Zog I to-" Zog began before he got clobbered by 'Muscles.'
Zog crumpled and fell to the ground. 'Muscles' grinned evilly and walked back to his corner. Midhat smacked his forehead.
"One!" shouted the referee.
Zog had little X's over his eyes.
"Two!"
The little birdies around Zog's head tweeted happily.
"Three!"
Zog moaned.
"Four!"
Zog groaned.
"Five!"
The birdies looked a little dejected as Zog slowly began to move.
"Six!"
Zog was on his elbows now.
"Seven!"
Zog was no longer on his elbows.
"Eight!"
Zog was on his elbows again.
"Nine!"
Zog just managed to get to his feet before the referee said the word that Albania was dreading. Cheering ensued... Until the bell rang again.
Ding!
'Muscles' charged and Zog, who was a little unaware of his current predicament, lost his balance and staggered to the side. 'Muscles' was a little unprepared for this and found himself unable to stop, so he just kept charging to the side of the ring, over the ropes, and onto Ruok's lap.
"Security! Air force! We need security and air force!" shouted Jocelyn jumping up from behind 'Muscles.' "I'll get on it!" He then rushed out the door, called a taxi, and left for the nearest weight loss center.
"Gasp!" said the audience.
"One!" shouted the referee.
"Eh?" inquired Zog.
"Ugh," moaned 'Muscles.'
"I'll add this to my list of unpleasant things," said Ruok and buckled under 'Muscles's' weight. "Check, please!"
"Two!"
Midhat was beckoning Zog back to his corner.
"Three!"
Zog seemed to start remembering where he was.
"Four!"
Zog hurried over to Midhat.
"Five!"
'Muscles' shifted his weight. Ruok let out a little cry.
"Six!"
'Muscles' stood up. Zog let out a little cry.
"Seven!"
'Muscles' walked back to the ring. The paramedics rushed to Ruok.
"Eight!"
'Muscles' moved the ropes out of his way and put one foot in the ring.
"Nine!"
'Muscles' was now fully in the ring. Tears could be seen in Zog's eyes.
Ding!
'Muscles' charged Zog again, the dolt, and Zog jumped out of the way. Midhat wasn't so lucky and was thrown from the ring as 'Muscles' hit the turnbuckle. The paramedics moaned and rushed over to help Midhat. 'Muscles' grunted, snorted, pounded his foot, and charged Zog again. Zog felt the urge to say, "Olé!" but decided instead to dive to the side just in time to miss 'Muscles' as he rushed past. 'Muscles' roared in frustration, pounded his feet, and charged once more.
"That's it," thought Zog. "This is where I fight back."
So, naturally, Zog put one hand over his eyes and stuck the other arm straight out ahead of him. After the briefest of moments he felt a sharp pain originating at his outstretched fist and running the length of his arm. He stumbled backwards, let out a little, "Mommy!" and came to rest on the ropes.
"One!"
"Wait! I didn't fall!" shouted Zog as he opened his eyes to see 'Muscles' sprawled out on the ring floor. "Oh."
"Two!"
Zog walked back to his corner.
"Three!"
Zog realized the crowd was cheering loudly.
"Four!"
Zog looked at 'Muscles' and saw that muscles had a stupid smile stuck on his face.
"Five!"
Zog had a feeling he knew what that meant.
"Six!"
"Stay down," urged Zog quietly. "Stay down!"
"Seven!"
"Oh, please, please, pretty please!"
"Eight!"
The cheering grew louder.
"Nine!"
Zog sighed in relief.
"Ten! You're out!"
Zog thrusted his arms in the air and bounced around the ring. It was over, he had won! The crowd began to swarm the ring, when they reached Zog, they hoisted him in the air.
"Zog! Zog! Zog!" they chanted.
"Me! Me! Me!" Zog sang happily.
'Muscles' moaned as a rather frightened Italian man tried to wake his leader. The cheering continued and Zog smiled happily. Italy had hardly influenced Albania.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Is all I can manage to type until I stop laughing
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Is all I can manage to type until I stop laughing
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Who dares to defy the Zoginator? Maybe Adolf 'Hitter' Hitler, in his leather boxers?
Cast: King Zog I, Midhat Frashëri
August 8th, 1938
"Zog, you've got to stop!" emphasized Midhat.
"What did you call me?!" growled Zog.
"Your royal madness, you've got to stop!" exclaimed Midhat.
"Stop what?" asked Zog.
"The forts!!" insisted Midhat.
"Yes, I see the lovely forts," agreed Zog. "Just finished, you like?"
"No!!!" exasperated Midhat.
"Well, why not?" puzzled Zog.
"Your lunacy, it's draining our economy to keep building them!" advised Midhat.
"Nonsense!" disagreed Zog.
"Plus, they're useless!" added Midhat.
"What!? Useless!?" demanded Zog. "Static defenses and strong forts are the way of the future! I'm afraid you don't know what you're talking about."
"But..." sputtered Midhat.
"Keep that to yourself!" salivated Zog.
"Yuck!" flailed Midhat.
"Now what are you complaining about?!" inquired Zog.
"What else do I complain about?! You!" bombed Midhat.
"Achoo!" sneezed Zog.
"For the love of...!" deafened Midhat.
"Excuse me," apologized Zog.
"I'm leaving!" informed Midhat.
"Yep," agreed Zog.
Thus concluding, Fun with Verbs.
August 8th, 1938
"Zog, you've got to stop!" emphasized Midhat.
"What did you call me?!" growled Zog.
"Your royal madness, you've got to stop!" exclaimed Midhat.
"Stop what?" asked Zog.
"The forts!!" insisted Midhat.
"Yes, I see the lovely forts," agreed Zog. "Just finished, you like?"
"No!!!" exasperated Midhat.
"Well, why not?" puzzled Zog.
"Your lunacy, it's draining our economy to keep building them!" advised Midhat.
"Nonsense!" disagreed Zog.
"Plus, they're useless!" added Midhat.
"What!? Useless!?" demanded Zog. "Static defenses and strong forts are the way of the future! I'm afraid you don't know what you're talking about."
"But..." sputtered Midhat.
"Keep that to yourself!" salivated Zog.
"Yuck!" flailed Midhat.
"Now what are you complaining about?!" inquired Zog.
"What else do I complain about?! You!" bombed Midhat.
"Achoo!" sneezed Zog.
"For the love of...!" deafened Midhat.
"Excuse me," apologized Zog.
"I'm leaving!" informed Midhat.
"Yep," agreed Zog.
Thus concluding, Fun with Verbs.
Cast: King Zog I, Midhat Frashëri, Qemal Komani
August 27th, 1938
"I like guns."
"Um, that's nice Qemal," said Zog then he turned to Midhat. "Keep your eye on that one."
"Right," said Midhat, adding a name to his list labelled, Lunatics in Positions of Power in Albania. Zog was already on there three times.
"Now, without further... um... what's the word?" asked Zog.
Midhat just shrugged. Qemal just started foaming.
"Well, whatever it is, let's have no more of it," said Zog clearing his throat. "We are here today to commemorate the completion of more anti-aircraft guns in Vlore."
"Yippee!" exclaimed Qemal.
Midhat got on his cell phone and Zog moved a step away from Qemal.
"This is a momentous occasion as it shows that we are showing our refusal to simply bow down to 'Muscles,' er... Mussolini. So now let's fire the commemorative shot and find something else to do."
BANG!
"Woohoo!" Qemal jumped with joy.
The men in white jumped at Qemal.
"Yipe!" screamed Qemal.
A short wrestling match ensued followed by Qemal being escorted away wearing a brand new jacket.
"The boomer..." sniffed Qemal as he walked away.
Midhat walked up to Zog. "It's taken care of, your travesty."
"I feel bad for him," sighed Zog. "Let him out in a few days, will you?"
Midhat's mouth dropped as Zog walked away, humming Camptown Ladies.
August 27th, 1938
"I like guns."
"Um, that's nice Qemal," said Zog then he turned to Midhat. "Keep your eye on that one."
"Right," said Midhat, adding a name to his list labelled, Lunatics in Positions of Power in Albania. Zog was already on there three times.
"Now, without further... um... what's the word?" asked Zog.
Midhat just shrugged. Qemal just started foaming.
"Well, whatever it is, let's have no more of it," said Zog clearing his throat. "We are here today to commemorate the completion of more anti-aircraft guns in Vlore."
"Yippee!" exclaimed Qemal.
Midhat got on his cell phone and Zog moved a step away from Qemal.
"This is a momentous occasion as it shows that we are showing our refusal to simply bow down to 'Muscles,' er... Mussolini. So now let's fire the commemorative shot and find something else to do."
BANG!
"Woohoo!" Qemal jumped with joy.
The men in white jumped at Qemal.
"Yipe!" screamed Qemal.
A short wrestling match ensued followed by Qemal being escorted away wearing a brand new jacket.
"The boomer..." sniffed Qemal as he walked away.
Midhat walked up to Zog. "It's taken care of, your travesty."
"I feel bad for him," sighed Zog. "Let him out in a few days, will you?"
Midhat's mouth dropped as Zog walked away, humming Camptown Ladies.