The Royal Army of Zog: An Albanian AAR

Satcho · May 6, 2004

Cast: King Zog I, Midhat Frashëri, Ruok Geraj

October 1st, 1937

"All finished," said Ruok, putting the finishing touches on a brand new anti-aircraft gun.

"Excellent, these new anti-aircraft guns will help protect Tirana and our kingdom!" exclaimed Zog.

"Why is it pointed at me?" asked Midhat.

"Now is a time for celebration, we are one step closer to being safe from Italy! And perhaps worse," continued Zog.

"Yes, indeed, sir. These new AA guns will keep us safe for centuries to come!" agreed Ruok.

"Why is it pointed at me?" insisted Midhat.

"I believe with these additions to our defensive network, we are nearly inpenetrable," informed Zog.

"Yes, definitely inpenetrable, those Italians stand no chance," the yes-man, er... Ruok stated.

"We should fire off a salute to the completion of the AA guns... And to hopefully scare the Italians," Zog suggested.

"Wonderful idea, sir. Prepare to fire, gunners," commanded Ruok.

"Why is it pointed at me!?!?" screamed Midhat.

"Oh, don't be a party pooper, Midhat. Go ahead, Ruok," said Zog.

"You may fire when ready," Ruok continued.

"Why is it-ah!" Midhat was cut off in mid sentence as the guns fired.

After the smoke had cleared and the noise had died down, Midhat got to his feet and brushed himself off.

"I hate you," he stated and staggered away.

"Geez, what's eating his shorts?" wondered Zog.

Ruok just shrugged.

unmerged(15561) · May 6, 2004

Welcome back!!

Your style is as fresh as ever!

All kneel before Zog, er......Satcho

unmerged(15409) · May 6, 2004

:b: Great update, much better even than the other ones!

Keep it up!

unmerged(26982) · May 6, 2004

ONTO MOSCOW! Oh... sorry... wrong post... feeling awkward... why is everyone staring... SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

unmerged(24841) · May 6, 2004

Lt.Col.Kilgore said:
ONTO MOSCOW! Oh... sorry... wrong post... feeling awkward... why is everyone staring... SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Right......
Any way poor old Midhet or was it Midhat (o well we now know something is eating his shots I mean shorts)

Satcho · May 7, 2004

Cast: King Zog I, Ruok Geraj, a Gunner

January 1st, 1938

"It's that time again, King Zog I!"

"Yippee!" glowed Zog.

"That's right! More anti-aircraft guns in Tirana!"

"This makes me so happy!" exclaimed Zog. "Hmm... Where's Midhat?"

"I think he learned his lesson last time to stay away from AA completion ceremonies."

"Shame..."

Ruok nodded.

"So, who are we going to try to shoot this time?" asked Zog.

Ruok scanned the crowd. "Hmm... That guy in the 4th row with the red hat looks good. Unfortunately, we might hit the people around him."

"So?"

"Roger."

Zog hopped up and down expectantly.

"Prepare to fire, gunners."

Zog shivered in excitement.

"Fire when ready."

Zog waited anxiously... and waited... and waited...

"Uh... sir?"

"Yes, what is it?" asked Ruok impatiently.

"The gun... it's... uh... jammed."

"What do you mean jammed!?" screamed Ruok.

Zog rushed over and had a look for himself.

"It's full of..."

He paused for effect.

"RASPBERRIES!!!"

The crowd gasped.

"Only one man would dare give me the raspberry..."

He paused again for effect.

...

...

...

Uh... Sorry, the camera ran out of film.

Jopi · May 7, 2004

Spaceballs again! Great update.

cdat · May 7, 2004

Doing good so far.

unmerged(15409) · May 7, 2004

Just to know, what is the current level of your provinces´s land forts, sea forts, AA guns and etc ? (I´m specially curious about the level of etc,it´s kind of hard to get a high one as a minor).

Any navy so far? Any plans for geting one? Any divisions?

Nuke

Satcho · May 8, 2004

Nuclear Winter said:
Just to know, what is the current level of your provinces´s land forts, sea forts, AA guns and etc ? (I´m specially curious about the level of etc,it´s kind of hard to get a high one as a minor).

Any navy so far? Any plans for geting one? Any divisions?

Nuke

Yeah, I really don't know what the levels are... They all started at zero in both provinces, so you can go back and look at my updates and add 'em up yourself.

As for armed forces, none so far. Some day...

Thanks for reading, everyone. Next update on Monday when I have more time.

Satcho · May 11, 2004

Cast: King Zog I

February 27th, 1938

Zog stepped up to the microphone and began speaking.

"As this is yet another post about fortifications being completed in Vlore, we're going to try something a little different. We're, um... going to wait for the next update and hope that it has something to do with something other than fortifications. Sorry about that..."

Satcho · May 11, 2004

Sorry about that last post. I think I've exhausted every possible slant I can take on fortification building. So I'm going to think about what in the world I'm going to write about for the next update and then update tomorrow. Hopefully it will be amusing.

Oh, and COEBAOTAUTROTFU, could you please try not to antagonize my other readers? Thanks.

unmerged(26982) · May 11, 2004

Satcho said:
Oh, and COEBAOTAUTROTFU, could you please try not to antagonize my other readers? Thanks.

Yeah! What he said! HAHAHHAHAH! You got in trouble, you got in trouble...

unmerged(24841) · May 16, 2004

Satcho said:
Oh, and COEBAOTAUTROTFU, could you please try not to antagonize my other readers? Thanks.

Who me???? Couldn't be.......

Satcho · May 20, 2004

Hearts of Iron said:
1938-04-26 : 0:00 May 27, 1938 : We have finished constructing more anti-aircraft guns in Vlore.

Ok, so that's the next update... I've been thinking about it and, honestly, I have no idea what to do with it. I think I've completely exhausted this topic.

So if anyone wants to post their rendition of what happened on that day and we can decide which is most likely or best or something? It'll be like a super cameo... Any ideas?

klink · May 21, 2004

I don't remember reading that you had to post a specific intervals of your game. Just wait until something happens then fill us in. Just make progress! Don't give up! I need the entertainment at work!

Satcho · May 22, 2004

Yeah, I just like to post something for everything that happens in my country. So you all know exactly what I'm doing and... ahem... not doing. It's an AAR, after all, I'd feel delinquent in my duty if I didn't post about every little thing going on in Albania.

Zuckergußgebäck · May 22, 2004

Kin Zog was very busy taking a bath in strawberries whena suspicious-looking man walked in - under a ladder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Zog screamed in despair and tried to get hold of a towel, when he realized that he was holding a strawberry leaf instead of a towel, he fainted.

"DUNK"

The suspicious-looking man shook his head and walked out again - under a ladder.

---

Midhat was sitting behind his huge oak desk trying to heal the gret pychological wund inflicted to him on behalf of the AA.

"Hello" the mysterious man began "The door was locked so I picked it and went in."
"Huh"
"I come from the AA and..." The man continued but was interrupted by Midhat exploding, or the closest thing to it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"

"I thank you for your approval to set up headquarters in Vlore, AA members all around the world will make pilgramiges to Vlore. Thank you, oh great man with the hat in the middle!"

The AA representative left and a shaken Midhat stopped klinging to the chandelier.

"BUMP"

unmerged(24841) · May 28, 2004

WOW i didn't miss much

Mr. Capiatlist · Jun 11, 2004

YES! It is the return of Satcho's Monty-Python style humor! YES! I love it! This one might just beat Luxemburg one! Haha! That was good.

The Royal Army of Zog: An Albanian AAR

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M.I.A

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Major

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