The Rise of Zombie Napoleon: An Undead AAR!

[HannibalBarca]

Article in the London Times, December 12, 1840​

Napoleon returns to France!​

The frigate La Belle-Poule docked today at Le Havre, bearing the earthly remains of Napoleon, having travelled to and from Saint Helena island, where the former Emperor of France had lived until his death in 1821. He had been buried there under His Majesty's order that he never return to France, for fear he could reunite the French people in another disastorous war against Europe. Many questioned the fairness of not allowing the body of Napoleon to return, one particularly eccentric individual asking, "I wonder if the bloody King of England is afraid that Le' Empeurer will rise from the dead!" The official funeral is to be held in three days time, and...

Peirre Guerrier, generically named French guy and leader of the Bonapartist movement, closed the newspaper with a sinister grin on his mustachioed face. The Bonapartist movement had all but died after being driven underground following the disastorous defeat at Waterloo in 1815, and was all but defunct following Napoleon's death in 1821.

But now...now, Peirre had a plan. A genius plan...It would require the last few fanatic followers of the Bonapartist movement. But the fanatical support of less than twenty people would not be enough...he would need professional help...

Ingolstadt, Bavaria
March 13, 1841​

The night was perfect. Victor Frankenstein smiled every time lightning flashed outside of his small workshop, giggled gleefully as thunder boomed. Tonight, he would do the impossible, tonight he would raise the dead!

"Igor!" he screeched to his ugly, hunchbacked assistant, "raise the platform! Let the corpse be bombarded by energy from the heavens! LET THERE BE LIFE!"

Igor giggled psychotically. "Yess masster!" he said, as he yanked on the chains, raising a platform with a covered body up towards the open roof of the workshop. The metal platform would act as a lightning rod, drawing the electric blasts from the sky towards the body, cobbled together from the exhumed corpses of petty criminals.

"YES! YES!" Victor screamed. Suddenly, the door to his small workshop burst down. Several men armed with pistols rushed into the workshop, surrounding Frankenstein and Igor.

A short man with a large, comical mustache walked in, wearing a French Marshal's hat. "Greetings, Dr. Frankenstein. I am Peirre Guerrier," he said in a sinister tone. He glanced up towards the platform. "Perfect...you will come with us, you and that little assistant of yours. You will travel with us back to France, where you will continue your work. With one minor difference...instead of piecing together the corpses of criminals, you will ressurect...NAPOLEON BONAPARTE!" He launched into a bout of evil laughter, as Victor Frankenstein trembled....

 

[unmerged(17581)]

Since it will be used a lot in this AAR I assume, 'resurrection' is spelled with 1 's', 2 'r's. Remember: Re-surrection. There should only be one 's' as 'ssurection' would be a ridiculous word.

That said, excellent start! [/GhostWriter]

 

[Ayeshteni]

You know, I am sure I read that in The Sun (and I do believe it was mentioned in Aftonbladt not that long ago).

I was wondering if someone would do an AAR based off of erm.... that event misunderstanding.

Ayeshteni

 

[HannibalBarca]

Since it will be used a lot in this AAR I assume, 'resurrection' is spelled with 1 's', 2 'r's. Remember: Re-surrection. There should only be one 's' as 'ssurection' would be a ridiculous word.

That said, excellent start! [/GhostWriter]

Ah. My mistake! o

And thank you for your kind praise, I was certain you would probably be the first to reply.

EDIT-Ayeshenti, perhaps you should re-read that thread I started, a lot happened since you posted.

 

[unmerged(37096)]

There are never enough zombie AAR's on the forums,

Great start, I really enjoyed your Carthaginian AAR, so I look forward to this one about the ssurection, ressurection, re-surrection, about the second coming of Napoleon.

 

[Justinian7]

Good start, this should be amusing. I hope Napoleon attempts to subjugate Europe again as quickly as possible once he's back.

 

[Ayeshteni]

EDIT-Ayeshenti, perhaps you should re-read that thread I started, a lot happened since you posted.

:rofl:

I look forward to this, I really do. I believe the French had a strong surrealist movement, I can sense this will be proven with Napoleon's Return.

Aye.

 

[HannibalBarca]

Good start, this should be amusing. I hope Napoleon attempts to subjugate Europe again as quickly as possible once he's back.

Yes, the unquenchable thirst for brains will result in much woe for Europe!

Quirinus308-You're right. The lack of Undead AARs might be percieved as racist against the walking dead. The United Zombies International (U.Z.I) should sue!

 

[unmerged(10971)]

Zombie Napoleon! There is absolutely no way you could go wrong with that theme.

 

[Olaus Petrus]

This one sounds interesting. I'll be following it.

 

[Sleepyhead]

I'm so happy we got you into this

 

[Specialist290]

Well, this should be interesting

 

[HannibalBarca]

Dome des Invalides, Paris
April 7, 1841​

The three men crept quietly through the darkened corridors of the church, set on one target: Napoleon's coffin. Guerrier himself had hand-selected his finest, most stealthy followers for this mission. The coffin had to be brought back to Headquarters, no matter the cost.

They were armed with only pistols and daggers, instructed to avoid any guards at all costs. Guards, however, were nowhere to be found. Who would dare to defile the tomb of France's greatest hero? Extracting the coffin was another problem, considering its weight and the fact that there were only three of the Bonapartist agents. No matter. Under-paid artisans had constructed a wheeled carrying cart just for the occasion. They silently slipped out of the church. They walked for a block, alone in the night, silently wheeling the coffin along with them. They soon met with their cairrage, which took them and their precious cargo back to the Headquarters of the Bonapartists...

Secret Underground Headquarters of the Bonapartists, directly under a house outside of Lyons
May 2, 1841​

"I have said it once, and I will say it again...YOU ARE MAD!" Victor Frankenstein screamed at Peirre Guerrier.

"Perhaps I am, dear Victor, but just think of the reward we will gain! When Napoleon the Great rules France once more, we will be treated like KINGS! Statues will be built in our honor, everything we could ask for, money, friends, and all the little scientific toys you could want, my friend! It will be MARVELOUS!" Peirre replied eagerly.

"I want nothing to do with any of that!" Frankenstein snapped, "I will be the one responsible for releasing that monster upon the World, I won't be able to stand it! I do not understand why I should not just kill myself this instant!"

"Well, dear Victor, it is far too late for that! Your work is already complete..." Guerrier replied, sneering menacingly. "THROW THE SWITCH, IGOR!"

"Yess, masster!" Igor shambled towards the switch which would elevate the dead body of Napoleon Bonaparte up the shaft to the surface, to be bombarded by the lightning storm above. Peirre laughed and laughed as the Emperor's body ascended higher and higher until one could no longer see it.

After a minute of waiting, the platform lowered back down into the laboratory. One could almost feel the electric energy in the air pulsing from Napoleon. Peirre dashed towards his Emperor, threw the tarp off of him. For half a minute, he stared at Napoleon, who showed no signs of life. And then, the Emperor's eyes opened...

"IT'S ALIVE! ALIVE, ALIVE, ALIVE!" Peirre ran around the room, screaming and laughing as Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France slowly woke up from his long sleep. Everyone in the room turned towards Napoleon, perhaps expecting him to deliver a great speech of thanks.

"Braiiiiiinsssss....."

 

[Specialist290]

Looks like things aren't quite going the way Pierre expected them to...

I'm wondering if there's going to be a British general by the name of-- erm, nevermind. *whistles innocently*

 

[unmerged(11366)]

It's Fronkenshteen...!

Okay, this isn't exactly the old Napoleon is it?

 

[HannibalBarca]

It's Fronkenshteen...!

Okay, this isn't exactly the old Napoleon is it?

No, it's not. Instead of a thirst for power leading him on a destructive rampage across Europe, a thirst for brains does!

EDIT-Specialist...you're brilliant! Handicap match of the century: Zombie Napoleon vs. Zombie Ghengis and Zombie Wellington. My God, we must put this on Pay-Per-View!

 

[Specialist290]

Actually, that wasn't quite what I was aiming at, but it'll work

And don't forget Zombie Caesar, too!

 

[unmerged(47162)]

:rofl: this is gonna be great..

 

[HannibalBarca]

Actually, that wasn't quite what I was aiming at, but it'll work

And don't forget Zombie Caesar, too!

Yes...the resurrection of Zombie Napoleon sets off a chain reaction...Ghengis, Wellington, Caesar, Clausewitz...the Chinese attempt to ressurect Sun Tzu, however, goes disastorously wrong, resulting indirectly in the Opium Wars.

But no, I'll probably keep it to just Zombie Napoleon vs. Zombie Ghengis.

 

[unmerged(17581)]

But what will the Americans resurrect? We can't sit on our hands while the other nations of the world reanimate their old glorious leaders willy-nilly! We must find a zombie leader of our own! We cannot let there be a Zombie Leader Gap!