The Rise of the Phoenix
Hello brave voyagers through the stormy seas of AAR's, and welcome to my first attempt at any kind of fanfiction. I have to acknowledge the debt I owe to all of those writAARs whose works have given me inspiration, if I see any of you in the audience, I may be persuaded to build in cameos, references etc.
By the way, if you see any ideas or themes that look familiar, it just means I have shamelessly nicked them, hope you dont mind too much.
Anyway, on with the show.
Game: Victoria
Mods: Nope
Scenario: Grand Campaign
Country: Greece.
The Phoenix from the ashes.
Or, my Big fat Greek Weeding.
Prologue:
Athens was not the most jolly, happy city in the whole wide world. This was hardly surprising, as the whole of the Greek government had been wiped out by a freak explosion in the King’s palace. This explosion had mysteriously missed all of the servants, courtiers and assembled peasants, and the only casualties had been those Greek statesmen who were important enough to merit a place in the history books.
This terrible accident meant that the new King of Greece, and ruler of all he surveyed was the little known distant descendant of the last Emperor of Byzantium, who, until last week, had been a turnip farmer in Yorkshire, England. His name was Alexander Yatalos, and he was not a happy bunny.
Chapter I, El Greco:
1836 dawned, and Alexander did not like the look of it one bit. Just last week, he had been a happy (poor, but still happy) turnip farmer in England, preparing to come up with another excuse for his landlord as to why he could not pay the rent on the village horse; and now he found himself the king of a country that had only existed for a few years, and he already hated.
The first thing Alex did was to call his financial minister, Yuri Pennilos.
King Alex: So, Pennilos, what is the current state of my nation’s finances?
Pennilos: Well, your majesty, in a word, you haven’t got any.
KA: WHAT???
Pennilos: Don’t shout like that your angriness, I am after all, an old man.
To cut a long story short, Greece is a very poor country, and our monetary reserves are never that robust. The recent flood of state funerals has left us, not only with no stable income, but we don’t even have the cash to keep the government running from day to day.
KA: So tell me Pennilos, (can I call you Penny by the way?) How are we actually keeping the country itself going?
Penny: Well, oh financially destitute one, the world bank is currently drafting us daily loans to maintain the land.
KA: Ah, so that explains the big burly men touring the palace carting away anything valuable.
Penny: ‘Fraid so, oh monetarily disadvantaged one.
KA: Right, let’s do something about that. What about the grubby commoners in rags loitering around here, can we sell some of them? And by the way, you can knock it off with that “oh accountingly impaired one” stuff, before I knock you off, comprendi?
Penny: I am afraid to tell you that slavery is frowned upon as a means of liquidating assets in Europe, the best that you can do is to screw the local goat herders out of what little money they have by way of taxation.
At that moment, a tall, hairy man staggered into the audience chamber, obviously drunk, ranting about the Rhine in springtime.
KA: Who is this unpleasant man, Penny, have him dragged kicking and screaming from here immediately.
Penny: I would oh perpetually irritable one, but he is wearing the official sash of a court ambassador. Perhaps we should hear what he has to say.
KA: Very well, let him approach.
Ambassador: Danke you ferry much, your mangistty, Ich bin zee ambassador fur zer glorious ruler of zer mighty state of Nassau. We are much pleazeed to be of the offering of alliance to your faraway rulership.
KA: As pleased as I am to hear that, I must confess to being confused as to where the hell Nassau actually is. I take it from your ridiculous comedy stereotype accent that you are from Germany, but I need to check my European atlas to find this country you mention.
Several hours of fruitless searching of the “Big book of places to invade.” 1815 edition (the Greeks were on a budget after all) later, the state of Nassau is finally located.
Penny: Here we are oh geographically mislocated one, Nassau, it was hidden in the fold of the page.
KA: But that nation is even more tiny, ridiculously poor and insignificant than us!
Ambassador: Ya, that is zee reason why vee are vanting alliance viz your country mighty Koenig, mein Koenig is terrified zat you are about to launch invasion of Nassau.
KA: But the Greek army is comprised of half a dozen yokels with pointed sticks. I couldn’t persuade them to invade my bathroom!
Ambassador: Aaagh, I have dizcovered ze zecret vepons of zer Greek army, please, oh terribly powerful one, do not smite us viz your sticks!
KA: Get up, you pathetic man. As Nassau obviously is a tiny, weak, insignificant country with no money, I see no reason why I shouldn’t ally with you. (Besides, I need to feel superior to someone)
After the departure of the Nassau ambassador, not much happened for a while in the Greek court. The king desperately tried to improve the finance situation, and the ambassador to Egypt announced that the Egyptians had, for some reason dramatically improved their relationship with Greece.
Hello brave voyagers through the stormy seas of AAR's, and welcome to my first attempt at any kind of fanfiction. I have to acknowledge the debt I owe to all of those writAARs whose works have given me inspiration, if I see any of you in the audience, I may be persuaded to build in cameos, references etc.
By the way, if you see any ideas or themes that look familiar, it just means I have shamelessly nicked them, hope you dont mind too much.
Anyway, on with the show.
Game: Victoria
Mods: Nope
Scenario: Grand Campaign
Country: Greece.
The Phoenix from the ashes.
Or, my Big fat Greek Weeding.
Prologue:
Athens was not the most jolly, happy city in the whole wide world. This was hardly surprising, as the whole of the Greek government had been wiped out by a freak explosion in the King’s palace. This explosion had mysteriously missed all of the servants, courtiers and assembled peasants, and the only casualties had been those Greek statesmen who were important enough to merit a place in the history books.
This terrible accident meant that the new King of Greece, and ruler of all he surveyed was the little known distant descendant of the last Emperor of Byzantium, who, until last week, had been a turnip farmer in Yorkshire, England. His name was Alexander Yatalos, and he was not a happy bunny.
Chapter I, El Greco:
1836 dawned, and Alexander did not like the look of it one bit. Just last week, he had been a happy (poor, but still happy) turnip farmer in England, preparing to come up with another excuse for his landlord as to why he could not pay the rent on the village horse; and now he found himself the king of a country that had only existed for a few years, and he already hated.
The first thing Alex did was to call his financial minister, Yuri Pennilos.
King Alex: So, Pennilos, what is the current state of my nation’s finances?
Pennilos: Well, your majesty, in a word, you haven’t got any.
KA: WHAT???
Pennilos: Don’t shout like that your angriness, I am after all, an old man.
To cut a long story short, Greece is a very poor country, and our monetary reserves are never that robust. The recent flood of state funerals has left us, not only with no stable income, but we don’t even have the cash to keep the government running from day to day.
KA: So tell me Pennilos, (can I call you Penny by the way?) How are we actually keeping the country itself going?
Penny: Well, oh financially destitute one, the world bank is currently drafting us daily loans to maintain the land.
KA: Ah, so that explains the big burly men touring the palace carting away anything valuable.
Penny: ‘Fraid so, oh monetarily disadvantaged one.
KA: Right, let’s do something about that. What about the grubby commoners in rags loitering around here, can we sell some of them? And by the way, you can knock it off with that “oh accountingly impaired one” stuff, before I knock you off, comprendi?
Penny: I am afraid to tell you that slavery is frowned upon as a means of liquidating assets in Europe, the best that you can do is to screw the local goat herders out of what little money they have by way of taxation.
At that moment, a tall, hairy man staggered into the audience chamber, obviously drunk, ranting about the Rhine in springtime.
KA: Who is this unpleasant man, Penny, have him dragged kicking and screaming from here immediately.
Penny: I would oh perpetually irritable one, but he is wearing the official sash of a court ambassador. Perhaps we should hear what he has to say.
KA: Very well, let him approach.
Ambassador: Danke you ferry much, your mangistty, Ich bin zee ambassador fur zer glorious ruler of zer mighty state of Nassau. We are much pleazeed to be of the offering of alliance to your faraway rulership.
KA: As pleased as I am to hear that, I must confess to being confused as to where the hell Nassau actually is. I take it from your ridiculous comedy stereotype accent that you are from Germany, but I need to check my European atlas to find this country you mention.
Several hours of fruitless searching of the “Big book of places to invade.” 1815 edition (the Greeks were on a budget after all) later, the state of Nassau is finally located.
Penny: Here we are oh geographically mislocated one, Nassau, it was hidden in the fold of the page.
KA: But that nation is even more tiny, ridiculously poor and insignificant than us!
Ambassador: Ya, that is zee reason why vee are vanting alliance viz your country mighty Koenig, mein Koenig is terrified zat you are about to launch invasion of Nassau.
KA: But the Greek army is comprised of half a dozen yokels with pointed sticks. I couldn’t persuade them to invade my bathroom!
Ambassador: Aaagh, I have dizcovered ze zecret vepons of zer Greek army, please, oh terribly powerful one, do not smite us viz your sticks!
KA: Get up, you pathetic man. As Nassau obviously is a tiny, weak, insignificant country with no money, I see no reason why I shouldn’t ally with you. (Besides, I need to feel superior to someone)
After the departure of the Nassau ambassador, not much happened for a while in the Greek court. The king desperately tried to improve the finance situation, and the ambassador to Egypt announced that the Egyptians had, for some reason dramatically improved their relationship with Greece.
