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Chapter LXXXVI: The Conquest of Arabia - Part Two: Oman
"Ah, look! That fellow looks suspicious! He has so many men behind him, marching towards us, that one would almost think he was coming to invade us!" two Omani spies peered out from over a rock, and saw in the distance a man with a large army behind him. They turned to talk to each other, "Imagine if our army looked that cool! Do you see those uniforms? Their weapons? Someone really needs to teach our tailors some good taste in fashion. Those rags they give us are clearly out of style! Why, only yesterday I stained mine, and- ..."
"Oh, it couldn't be that bad! I stain mine all of the time, but those lowly new recruits clean it up real good... As long as you put that sword to their back, eh? Hahaha... Hey? What's wrong? W-... Ahh!"
Someone had grabbed the back of his shirt and lifted him off of the ground. He turned around to see that commander with the large following holding him up, smiling at him broadly. "Wha!! I've been attacked by a clown!"
Just then, Chibaka walked out from behind, with Date's head on a pike.
"Ahh! The clown's cronie carry heads on sticks! We're all doomed! It is clear now that aliens have come to.. ahh.. Kill us all! We're all doomed."
"Umm.. Shinden sir," Chibaka said, "this man is crazy!"
"I've noticed..." Shinden dropped the struggling man to the ground with a thud. He continued wriggling on the ground aimlessly, every few minutes calling out spontaneous nonsense.
"Well," Shinden said at last, grinning again, "It seems I've captured you!"
"Wha?" the still sane man gasped in his own tongue.
"It seems I've captured you!" Shinden said in Japanese.
"What?" the spy said in Arabic.
"It seems I've captured you!" Shinden said in Japanese.
"What?" the spy repeated in Arabic.
"IT SEEMS I'VE CAPTURED YOU!" Shinden replied once more in Japanese, this time very loudly.
"WHAT?" the spy said in Japanese.
"IT SEEMS I'VE CAPTURED YOU!!!" Shinden spoke in Arabic.
"I am afraid that I do not understand your language!" the man said in Japanese.
"Yes," Shinden frowned in Arabic, "I am afraid you are right. Shall we discuss this over tea?"
"Yes," the spy replied in Japanese, "Let's do that."
Five hours later...
"Oh," he said, finally understanding Shinden's words. "So you are going to sell me a monkey?"
"Umm.. Not quite, but we're getting close."
Five weeks later...
"Ohhhh! So you are going to tie up a fish with a long flexible tree branch from the moon, dance around like a toad, and then call out loudly as you secretly attempt infiltrate the great Scottish Empire which stretches from here to there?"
"Yes, that right! Wait.. No, no.. Still a little off.."
Finally, speaking in Ancient Norse, Shinden made his point...
"Ah, that is nice." the spy said nodding, "So when do we eat breakfast."
Shinden looked at his digital watch, "In about 12 minutes and 37.12 seconds."
"So," the spy said in Japanese during breakfast, his mouth full of food, "you want me to help you conquer my country? That's fine. Fine, yes. I think you should march in that direction." he pointed south towards Oman. "That is the wisest path." he nodded, as if assuring himself he was correct, "if you go this way, or even that way, or maybe even that way," he pointed north, east, and west, "You will most likely not arrive in Oman."
"Ah! I see..." Shinden nodded slowly, stroking his chin with his fingers as if deep in thought, as if considering whether or not the information was correct, or how to best use it.
"So perhaps my armies should travel in that direction?" he said at last, and he pointed south.
"Yes General, that is the most wise decision."
Shinden gazed southward: he saw a horseman galloping towards them on the horizon. Finally, he arrived.
It was one of his messengers, "Sir! We have conquered Oman, and have made peace, taking all of their provinces, except for their capital of course! We will leave them with that for a few more years and then annex them entirely."
"Oh? And when did you do this?" Shinden asked indifferently.
"During the past several days, sir," was the reply, "we decided to wait no longer for the translations, and so we invaded with Chibaka as our leader.
"Oh, good, good!" Shinden exclaimed, clapping his hands.
"Well, let's go forward, and conquer the Hedjaz!" Shinden called out to his men one week later, after they had finished plundering and ransacking the Omani cities they had conquered, on orders of the great Lord Oda. The treasure was now to be sent in a massive caravan back to his golden palace in the capital of the world in Kyoto. Mori Motonari had moved the capital to Nagasaki in Kyushu years before, as you may remember, but that was only his capital: Kyoto would remain the real capital.
Shinden once more dramatically pointed his sword westward, and began the march. Now, he had an Omani spy on his side...
"Ah, look! That fellow looks suspicious! He has so many men behind him, marching towards us, that one would almost think he was coming to invade us!" two Omani spies peered out from over a rock, and saw in the distance a man with a large army behind him. They turned to talk to each other, "Imagine if our army looked that cool! Do you see those uniforms? Their weapons? Someone really needs to teach our tailors some good taste in fashion. Those rags they give us are clearly out of style! Why, only yesterday I stained mine, and- ..."
"Oh, it couldn't be that bad! I stain mine all of the time, but those lowly new recruits clean it up real good... As long as you put that sword to their back, eh? Hahaha... Hey? What's wrong? W-... Ahh!"
Someone had grabbed the back of his shirt and lifted him off of the ground. He turned around to see that commander with the large following holding him up, smiling at him broadly. "Wha!! I've been attacked by a clown!"
Just then, Chibaka walked out from behind, with Date's head on a pike.
"Ahh! The clown's cronie carry heads on sticks! We're all doomed! It is clear now that aliens have come to.. ahh.. Kill us all! We're all doomed."
"Umm.. Shinden sir," Chibaka said, "this man is crazy!"
"I've noticed..." Shinden dropped the struggling man to the ground with a thud. He continued wriggling on the ground aimlessly, every few minutes calling out spontaneous nonsense.
"Well," Shinden said at last, grinning again, "It seems I've captured you!"
"Wha?" the still sane man gasped in his own tongue.
"It seems I've captured you!" Shinden said in Japanese.
"What?" the spy said in Arabic.
"It seems I've captured you!" Shinden said in Japanese.
"What?" the spy repeated in Arabic.
"IT SEEMS I'VE CAPTURED YOU!" Shinden replied once more in Japanese, this time very loudly.
"WHAT?" the spy said in Japanese.
"IT SEEMS I'VE CAPTURED YOU!!!" Shinden spoke in Arabic.
"I am afraid that I do not understand your language!" the man said in Japanese.
"Yes," Shinden frowned in Arabic, "I am afraid you are right. Shall we discuss this over tea?"
"Yes," the spy replied in Japanese, "Let's do that."
Five hours later...
"Oh," he said, finally understanding Shinden's words. "So you are going to sell me a monkey?"
"Umm.. Not quite, but we're getting close."
Five weeks later...
"Ohhhh! So you are going to tie up a fish with a long flexible tree branch from the moon, dance around like a toad, and then call out loudly as you secretly attempt infiltrate the great Scottish Empire which stretches from here to there?"
"Yes, that right! Wait.. No, no.. Still a little off.."
Finally, speaking in Ancient Norse, Shinden made his point...
"Ah, that is nice." the spy said nodding, "So when do we eat breakfast."
Shinden looked at his digital watch, "In about 12 minutes and 37.12 seconds."
"So," the spy said in Japanese during breakfast, his mouth full of food, "you want me to help you conquer my country? That's fine. Fine, yes. I think you should march in that direction." he pointed south towards Oman. "That is the wisest path." he nodded, as if assuring himself he was correct, "if you go this way, or even that way, or maybe even that way," he pointed north, east, and west, "You will most likely not arrive in Oman."
"Ah! I see..." Shinden nodded slowly, stroking his chin with his fingers as if deep in thought, as if considering whether or not the information was correct, or how to best use it.
"So perhaps my armies should travel in that direction?" he said at last, and he pointed south.
"Yes General, that is the most wise decision."
Shinden gazed southward: he saw a horseman galloping towards them on the horizon. Finally, he arrived.
It was one of his messengers, "Sir! We have conquered Oman, and have made peace, taking all of their provinces, except for their capital of course! We will leave them with that for a few more years and then annex them entirely."
"Oh? And when did you do this?" Shinden asked indifferently.
"During the past several days, sir," was the reply, "we decided to wait no longer for the translations, and so we invaded with Chibaka as our leader.
"Oh, good, good!" Shinden exclaimed, clapping his hands.
"Well, let's go forward, and conquer the Hedjaz!" Shinden called out to his men one week later, after they had finished plundering and ransacking the Omani cities they had conquered, on orders of the great Lord Oda. The treasure was now to be sent in a massive caravan back to his golden palace in the capital of the world in Kyoto. Mori Motonari had moved the capital to Nagasaki in Kyushu years before, as you may remember, but that was only his capital: Kyoto would remain the real capital.
Shinden once more dramatically pointed his sword westward, and began the march. Now, he had an Omani spy on his side...
J. Passepartout, you're a genious!
I hope that everyone likes the new chapter: And sorry about the rather long wait for it.
Meiji-Tenno
Well, considering that Mars and Venus were conjugated with each other while Jupiter was in the sixth house, and Saturn was aligned with the Empire State Building via the Eiffel Tower, it was simple. All I had to do was spy on you by using the Who's Online.
Wonderful update, as usual.
Wonderful update, as usual.
Wow, i thought this AAR was dead and buried... great to see it isnt and there has been like 6-7 installments since i last looked!
This part had me laughing uncontrollably.
Really, man, I need another update, SOON.
I thought this AAR was dead....good thing I'm always wrong!
The Japanese never had digital watches in that time frame...you must mean electronic watches....
The Japanese never had digital watches in that time frame...you must mean electronic watches....