• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Jestor

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Vassal #1 forced back into line. I imprisoned another one, too, I think.



...Go to hell, Sverker. Depressed, sick people aren't supposed to be able to fall in love. :mad:



Who cares if the vassals hate me? THAT'S ALMOST 300 GOLD! I'S BE RICH!!!!



Imprisoned Vassal #2, or maybe he's #1. I get my vassals confused. Anyway... ....I can't revoke the title? Fuck you.



I take it anyway.



Dealing with all this crap would make anybody stressed out. I have no idea what that's like, though. I'm depressed, not stressed. Not like one of the guys I did my masters program with. He's a part-time teacher and he's not only depressed and stressed, he's also the most anxiety-ridden dude I've *ever* seen. I should ask him next time I see him on Facebook if his name is Sverker.

Anyway, I'm winning the war against the independence faction way easily, so I go ahead and do this...



Because I'm a boss like that.



Forgot it was my own brother who led the rebellion. Dick.



Sverker's mom dies. I wish she didn't. I really don't want to have to worry about Jorvik right about now.



Ho hum. Another war, another win.



Oh yeah. You know what's coming.



I AM TOTES LEGIT KING, HOSERS!!!! KISS MY CROWN!!!!!



They should call me King Sverker the Awesome, because I am.. that.damn.awesome.



...Yeah... this kingdom's gonna be an asspain to rule. BUT I AM KING! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, UGLY REDHAIR AND UGLY WHITE MUSTACHE DUDE AND ALL YOU OTHER UGLY ASS CROWNS! KING! KING! KING! SEE IT AND WEEP, YOU BASTARDS!

Time for VICTORY CIGARETTE!
 

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Yeah! I haz crownz!

Btw, big thumbs up for American Beauty reference ;).
 

unmerged(58610)

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Our "hero" won't have any cigarettes and will have to go shopping. What? you ask Jestor. A successful round of CK2 for Sverker - his queen actually loves him (clearly the exception that proves the rule.) and a substantial inheritance. And all I can say about it is no cigarettes. Sverker is King of Lithuania. I think this round is the most successful session, you've played.
 

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Quite a life this guy has... That said, I don't imagine Dick Gustavsson has a better one. ;)
Depending on his personal wealth, Mr. Gustavsson by now is either the lucky recipient of a quadruple bypass surgery and a stomach band, or a cheapskate headstone at his local church. :p

Dealing with all this crap would make anybody stressed out. I have no idea what that's like, though. I'm depressed, not stressed. Not like one of the guys I did my masters program with. He's a part-time teacher and he's not only depressed and stressed, he's also the most anxiety-ridden dude I've *ever* seen. I should ask him next time I see him on Facebook if his name is Sverker.
Autobiographical content seeping into the story there? ;)

Good, victorious, session. Even if your kingdom looks like a mutated Pac Man (Lithuania) feverishly chasing pellets (those bits in Sweden and northern England).
 

Jestor

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Athalcor: One of the greatest movies of all time.

Chief Ragusa: Most successful in this AAR, yes. TBG&THC had some more successful campaigns, but Gavelkind does well to prevent the steamroll.

DensleyBlair: There's actually other things I had my eye on doing, but perhaps I should wait before doing that.

Stuyvesant: One of Nabokov's favorite games was to insert little autobiographical touches in his novels. I am, of course, not saying one way or the other whether the same has happened here. :D

And it's time to update, methinks.
 

Jestor

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I haven't been totally honest. The distance I spoke of with that earlier girl was not immediate. In fact, roughly a year after her marriage, she invited me to accompany her to a place known for its happiness and joy. She had an audition and interview with a professional theatre company known for its penchant for musicals. Her husband was not able to get off work, and her other then co-best friend (now elevated to solo status, and was superior anyway) had not the money to make the trip. A weekend of delight awaited me - not for anything to happen, of course. I am far too disgustingly moral for that, and besides which, the year-point is a critical time in marriages, for the first bloom of novelty and honeymoon ecstasy has subsided, to replaced with a quiet, happy tranquility in good marriages or the first cracks of dissolution in bad ones. Needless to say, theirs was the good kind, and rightly it is so, for he is a far better man than I in every conceivable respect.

No, what thrilled me was the prospect of two and a half days of just being alone with her - an event that had never occurred ever in the history of my life with any non-relative female, let alone one I cherished so much as her. I envisioned long conversations, loads of fun, and most happy for me, hours at a theme park with a pretty girl at my side... a private wish I'd longed for ever since I was six and saw an impossibly beautiful blonde kissing her boyfriend in the line for The Demon at Six Flags Great America.

Unfortunately, what I had not counted on was my snoring, which, unbeknownst to me heretofore, has the sleep-destroying quality of blaring dubstep at max volume. The next day, she was so fatigued from lack of sleep, she opted to stay in and get rest before her evening audition, and suggested I go to the park by myself, as the next day we were going our separate ways, and my flight was much earlier than hers. Seeing the good sense in the idea, I went and wandered, going on rides and browsing stores, managing to have a good time in spite of my crushing disappointment.

That night, I sat in the lobby while she went to her audition, hoping she did well and battling my own feelings of bitterness. You see, when I was much younger, far closer to six than thirty-five, I had promise as an actor. So much so that my parents considered moving from Arkansas to Hollywood to launch my potential career. Eventually they decided against it, and though I continued to have success in elementary and middle school, high school was far different. I took the first acting class I could, of course, and did my usual exceptional job, looking forward confidently to joining my school's theatre company. The unwritten rule was that anyone who did well in Mr. Questor's introductory acting class automatically got accepted into Theatre Company.

Imagine my shock and outrage then, when I was denied, due to Student Council politics I do not feel much like going into at this point. Suffice it to say that after that, my thespian ambitions were everafter thwarted. A few tryouts as an undergraduate, sure, when I could get up the nerve to go through it. Always a callback, never a cast. Eventually I gave up, acknowledged that I would never be allowed back on the stage even in insignificant local productions, and consigned it to the trashcan of broken dreams.

So there I sat in that lobby, with those volatile, conflicting emotions in me, and overall love, love, love for her still setting fire to my veins. It was hopeless, impossibly so. After all, as I've said before, I was permanently trapped in the frozen ice block of brotherfriend zone, which is a far more confining space than the ordinary friend zone, which chance and a well-timed blast from the breath of a Destiny Dragon can melt and permit the previously stuck would-be paramour to prance through Paradise's pristine meadows. And yet still, as we talked that first night, in the hours before that ill-fated Snorebomb, I found myself thinking how kissable her lips looked and how, were the situation not what it was, I might have had the daring to dart forth and meet mouth with mouth, my all-over ache assuaged by accomplishment of physical contact.

But I could not do so, and would never do so. I knew too well the futility of such a gesture.

The next morning, she headed to the park, her later flight affording the hours to while away there that had I the day before. She thanked me for coming with her, hugged me, and walked away, towards the bus, while I slowly trekked the opposite direction back to the lobby to await my shuttle, letting the first tears fall. Regardless of everything else, I knew happiness when I was with her - genuine, real happiness, and every time I left her, I felt my heart breaking all over again, because I always feared that it would be the last time. Each time, I wanted to turn right around and run back to her, throwing away whatever half-life I had wherever I lived then to just be with her and have her close. God! I hated to leave her and will hate still, even in my dying hour, to leave the same Earth on which she resides, even if continents and oceans were to divide us rather than the six hours that do now.

She received an offer to join the company, but after long thought, decided it was better for her growing family to stay put and simply continue her accomplished community theatre career while pursuing greater ambitions for her day job.

But for whatever reason, since that weekend, our conversations have been scant - once every three or four months if that - and the brief, stilted variety common to people who have no real connection with one another. Worse still, I knew it when I arrived home from that trip, as I wept for a good three hours before falling into a deathlike twenty hour slumber, the tears still glistening on my cheeks. I do not pretend to know the source of my hyper-awareness, especially since there was no logical cause, but I have always been able to predict the flashpoints of ruin on the ever descending tumble of my pathetic occupancy of space and time.
 

Stuyvesant

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Well, that's depressing.


I appreciate your ability to paint this man as an intelligent but oh so socially inept person, full of thoughts and emotions that are never shown, never met. I enjoy the way the language bounces across the board, from naturalistic, to more formal, to frankly rather florid ("the frozen ice block of brotherfriend zone", "the breath of a Destiny Dragon", "permit the previously stuck would-be paramour to prance through Paradise's pristine [meadows]"). But in the end, what really sticks with me is how utterly depressing this whole update is. If I could rein in my verbosity, I would've just left it at the first sentence. :p
 

Athalcor

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Oh man, even though I so enjoy this AAR, this is, well, so depressing :p.

Btw, you keep enlarging my vocabulary - things like 'unbeknownst to me heretofore' have been, well, unbeknownst to me heretofore.
 

unmerged(58610)

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A man with that amount of self-loathing would have thrown himself off a bridge by now, if he didn't loathe himself too much to do even that.
 

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A man with that amount of self-loathing would have thrown himself off a bridge by now, if he didn't loathe himself too much to do even that.
He seems to combine his self-loathing with a large dose of apathy/lethargy, which keeps him from achieving pretty much anything. :) I think something that required as much active effort as suicide is not yet on the cards - I think he would need to build a rage inside of himself before he could do that.
 

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Thanks, folks, and I'll reply more fully later, but I just found out my mom is having her liver transplant, so tapping into this particular character probably isn't a good thing right now.
 

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You have more important things to focus on than this AAR right now. Best wishes for you and your family and I hope your mother has a speedy recovery (as speedy as you can have with major surgery).

Hope to see you back when things settle down a bit for you.
 

Jestor

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Thanks. Unfortunately while the donor turned out to be a match, the liver was not viable, so they sent her home.
 

Gotya64

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Best wishes for your mother, Jestor. Such things can be quite frustrating. :(
 

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Before I catch up here, I thought I'd just pop in to wish you and your mother the best. Naturally, take all the time you need before updating again. I don't imagine tapping into our recluse's psyche every few days is that healthy, anyway. ;)
 

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Thanks again, all. This AAR isn't dead, but with end semester craziness and going to my parents' for the winter break, it'll be mid-January before there's another CK-related update. I'll probably get in one or two non-CK updates in before then.