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Jestor

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DensleyBlair: Nickel bag being $5 isn't strictly British (if that's the reference you're going for). It's an Americanism as well. If there's some other meaning, I'd be quite curious to hear it.

Stuyvesant: Good catch on the Hello Kitty thing. Didn't spot it until I tilted my head the way. As for its age association, depends on what group you're talking about. HK is extremely popular with Asian girls and women of all ages, particularly Japanese (falls under the whole kawaii heading). Among American women, HK is popular with Japanphiles, which have been a growing number since, oh, about the late '90s I'd say. It's also possible HK has popularity with hipster girls, although I steadfastly avoid hipsters so I can't say that with any certainty.
 

DensleyBlair

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DensleyBlair: Nickel bag being $5 isn't strictly British (if that's the reference you're going for). It's an Americanism as well. If there's some other meaning, I'd be quite curious to hear it.
Well tuppence – so nickel – is sometimes used as a euphemism for some thing else a girl would keep in her pants, which would turn the whole sentence into a thinly-veiled euphemism itself.

My original thoughts, though, we're along the lines of pants being to me are what I guess you'd call 'y-fronts' or similar. The idea of storing money down there is odd, to say the least ;)
 

Stuyvesant

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DensleyBlair: Nickel bag being $5 isn't strictly British (if that's the reference you're going for). It's an Americanism as well. If there's some other meaning, I'd be quite curious to hear it.

Stuyvesant: Among American women, HK is popular with Japanphiles, which have been a growing number since, oh, about the late '90s I'd say. It's also possible HK has popularity with hipster girls, although I steadfastly avoid hipsters so I can't say that with any certainty.
Interesting. Regardless of the reasons/national origins/hipsterness, I don't begrudge anyone their personal preferences, even if it's an unhealthy obsession perfectly acceptable interest in all things Hello Kitty, regardless of their age. I just find it disturbing. :)

Well tuppence – so nickel – is sometimes used as a euphemism for some thing else a girl would keep in her pants, which would turn the whole sentence into a thinly-veiled euphemism itself.

My original thoughts, though, we're along the lines of pants being to me are what I guess you'd call 'y-fronts' or similar. The idea of storing money down there is odd, to say the least ;)
I've learned another euphemism - can't ever have too many of those. As to American underwear terminology, from my observations as an outsider, I'm tempted to say 'underwear' is used generically, while men's underwear might also be referred to as 'briefs' or 'shorts'. Oh, and then there are 'tighty whiteys', but that's not a value-neutral expression. 'Y-fronts'... not sure if I've seen it used in American English, but you'll have to ask Jestor: he's the only true-blooded American between the three of us.
 

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Nice update ;). You do not really need the game, do you :D?
 

Jestor

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DensleyBlair: Ah, yes. No doubt also related to Iago's line in A1S1 of Othello about the old black ram tupping the white ewe.

Stuyvesant: I'll admit I've never watched San Rio, or whatever the source show is, but I believe many of the so-called anime emoticons derive from SR's Keroppi. Also, Y-fronts is a particular of underduds, available in either briefs or boxer-briefs. Underwear is generic; briefs, boxer-briefs, and boxers all refer to a specific type of men's underwear. There's also thong underwear for men, but that's such a minority that it's not really worth discussing. Now, when you get into women's underwear, there's an even broader range. So much so that I'm not going to list them all here. Suffice to say, having worked at Victoria's Secret for four years during my undergrad career, I'm familiar with many of them.

Athalcor: Thanks. :) And yeah, the non-game updates tend to be easier to write than the game-related ones. :D

Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, folks. Semester starts Monday and I'm having to re-design my syllabus due to changes in the text and in the particular theme I teach.
 

Jestor

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I get in 'till the sunrise
Going 90 in a 65
Windows rolled down screamin' out
Hey-ey-ey so paid
Number one hustler gettin' money
Why you wanna count my money


Payday always feels wonder, despite my pittance. I always play this song, and rap my favorite verse as I spread $100, all in 20s, across the table:

I just sound like money, baby I should've been a Porsche
Paid like a like a sugar free Red Bull
I'm so paid you know I keep a pocketful
And that's before the taxes
Took my own gross and hid it under my mattress
I used to get bored, count 20s for practice
Paper therapy we let that money relax us


Then I put the money in a shoebox and do put it under my mattress. Every time the shoebox gets full, I rubberband the whole bundle and walk to the bank. Unfortunately I haven't even filled it once yet. Too big a shoebox, I suppose.

I don't know if pink pixie girl will be there tonight or not, because I forgot to tell her it's my day off. I forget a lot of things, which means I repeat myself a lot to myself, and sometimes I know I'm repeating myself right away, and other times I don't remember until like a week later when I'm making peanut butter toast or something. And the times I don't remember at all I've repeated myself, well I've forgotten them, and no one else hears me, so in a way I'm not really repeating myself.

I should do the dishes, but fuck that. I've been non-stop listening to Akon songs other than the one I use for getting money so I have something to talk about with Pink Pixie girl if she does show up. And if I go over there, I mean. I have a firm no going to work on days off policy.

But one can only take so much of catchy beats and repetitive lyrics, so it's time to lumber my skinny-fat ass over to the computer and crank up CK 2.

This probably isn't a good idea given how many patches it's been, but I'm going to dare to forge ahead anyway.



Hmm. Worth investigating.



Candidate #1.



Candidate #2.

While I'm trying to decide who to go after, I receive terrible news.



:( Hot, blonde, blind MILF is dead. :( :( :(

Time to war out my grief!



Sorry, pal. You have the smallest army, so I'm going to force vassalize you first.



...Uh oh. War was going great until the defenders launched a successful sally, but no worries. I shall merely summon my small vassal's army, who will give me enough!



...Well, shit. That means I'm forced to call in the mercs. But while this happens...



An independence war breaks out against the new Swedish king, King Ugly Grayhair having died at 60 of depression from having to look at his own ugly face in the mirror every day.



What a crappy new king. Needless to say, Bjorn I loses the independence war, while we win the war against Candidate #1. Since we still have the mercs, we immediately go to war with Candidate #2 and force-vassalize him as well.

A look at post-independence Sweden:



As you can see, most of the continental territories, except for part of Lithuania, has been lost, and the only significant extra-Swedish territory is in Finland. I'm feeling rather frisky, so I decide to start a faction:



Yeah, I probably should have joined in the recently-successful independence war, but let's keep Crappy King Bjorn on his toes. I'll need to expand my territorial base if I hope to beat him solo, or with the puny ally who joins later, so I...



Why Lithuania and not Finland? Because I have plans to hit a certain someone else in Finland, first.

As the war is going on, a beautiful thing happens.



D'aww. Which means...



STEWARDING AND MAKING BABIES LIKE A BOSS!

Along with the beautiful thing, a very, very bad thing happens. :mad:



Assnugget Candidate #1 plans to do away with me, so I imprison him. That's a lot of money and some land I could get, but my vassals would be :( about it.



What's that? Y'all still be cool with me? OKAY! BYE-BYE, CANDIDATE #1! SO LONG FAT, FLESHY OLD ASS!

Even better?



Boom! Goes the Viking dynamite! But now I have to plot my next moves carefully, very carefully...

I'm hungry. I'm going to go eat something.
 

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SKotland?! Interesting.
 

Jestor

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Athalcor: Culturally-based spelling, I'm sure. One of the coolest features of TOG, IMO.

KaiserMuffin: Nope, although it did start at the flagship university in my native state. Nice satire there, by the way. Love how it displaces the 1960s on to the 960s.
 

Toadsmash

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Ahaha. That Onion article was priceless.

Also, fantastic update. Nice to see you back!
 

Stuyvesant

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But one can only take so much of catchy beats and repetitive lyrics, so it's time to lumber my skinny-fat ass over to the computer and crank up CK 2.

This probably isn't a good idea given how many patches it's been, but I'm going to dare to forge ahead anyway.
The Protagonist takes a bold gamble (playing on with a patched game! Gasp!) and it pays off handsomely! Look at Jarl Imbecile Gardener conquering and exiling his way to power! Perhaps this is foreshadowing for Hiro's next encounter with Pixie Girl? ;)
 

Jestor

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The Protagonist takes a bold gamble (playing on with a patched game! Gasp!) and it pays off handsomely! Look at Jarl Imbecile Gardener conquering and exiling his way to power! Perhaps this is foreshadowing for Hiro's next encounter with Pixie Girl? ;)
...Maybe. :D I've played a bit on so I need to go back and review my screenshots to remember what happened.

Updates will continue to be slow, about once every week or so. Being a full-time adjunct (4 classes) plus preparing to apply to PhD programs (including GRE studying and retake to get current scores) is taking up a ton of time.
 

Jestor

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Mmm, ramen. The godsend of the poor. Back to the game because I'm too absorbed in it to bother with PPG. And no, that isn't points per game, though I wouldn't mind scoring with.. never mind.

Good news to start off the session.



That'll keep 'em happy!



What's this? 216.8% of liege you say, because the King's involved in some massive war? You know what that means... TIME TO DEMAND INDEPENDENCE!



...And Bjorn gives up without a fight. WINNING!



How the world looks after FREEEEEEEEEDOM.

But we're also too far close to King Bjorn I. Time to pack up our bags and move.



Which means we can do this:



And this:



Call up the troops and hire the Pecheng Band, and the war is going swimmingly. This is fantastic! I'm taking names and kicking ass!



Shit. Breaking Bjorn is breaking bad and Bjorn is boss anyway.



Double damn. We have a rash of available men in the court.



Hey look, a scholarly theologian. But she's a woman. No position fill for us. :(

We betroth her to the Jarl of Estonia, who is vassal to the King of Denmark, but it's going to be a while yet. War is still going well, and I'm sure Bjorn will do just f...



...Well...that's awkward. Will he even produce children now? Or will he, you know, bugger the other men only?



A gay brilliant strategist? I seem to recall some dude name Alexander who fit that description.



Can I just say how great it is to be (petty) King again?



This is going to be a v.v. long engagement, but she's Chieftess under the King of Sweden, so hopefully that will give me another piece of land to steal.



*Two* Brilliant Strategists?! What can this mean?! (Other than that we have a new Marshal).



The war finally comes to an end in our favor.



Sweden is starting to break up.

Time for a smoke break to enjoy the victory and the schadenfreude.
 

Stuyvesant

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A gay brilliant strategist? I seem to recall some dude name Alexander who fit that description.
Well, yes, technically true, but even though that spells good fortune for the next few years, it would make the slightly longer-term future of your imperium look rather bleak. :)

Oh, and if Bjorn kills Sverker in a drunken rage some years down the line, you've really aced your Alexander analogy. ;)
 

Jestor

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Toadsmash: Whoops, sorry I missed your earlier feedback. That Onion article was indeed awesome, and great to have you back as a commentator. :)

Stuyvesant: Things are definitely getting interesting now... and it's funny you mention Sverker.
 

Jestor

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Back from smoking and time to check on how the King of Sweden is doing.



So Bjorn died and his underage son took over and is in a whole ton of wars. Good news for us, as that'll keep him out of our affairs while we have some of our power consolidation work to do.

Speaking of which, Sverker?



As the legitimate child of the Queen of Jorvik, he's also heir to the petty thrones of Jorvik and Norrland, and their attached counties, plus one of the Finnish counties. Where's Jorvik, for those not familiar with this setup?



That fractured mess of England, still dominated by the Scottish kings who maintain a strong presence in the Scandinavian isles (And I need to kick them out at some point).

But I, as Bjorn the Brilliant Gay Man, am not without my own inheritances.



The problem is, apparently if I inherit those lands from my brother, the counties pass out of my realm? I'm not sure I understand that, but hopefully that doesn't mean I'm back under Sweden's banner.

In any case, now that we've won the war started by Valedmar, it's time to...



...Change primary titles and make my ambition...



...Well damn. Pro Tip: The Kingdom you can go for is apparently tied to the county your capital is in, not your primary title.

Guess I'll have to change that.



And here's the problem of gavelkind. The territory you're left with is so small in most cases, that people like this can tell you to sod off. I'm hoping he declares war against me.

Happily, he does, and it's time to play every small army's favorite game.



AKA hire mercs.

The Chief of Riga and that small county whose name I can never remember sends me a letter demanding independence. I tell him to go to hell.



Not a smart move, buddy. Not when I have mercs hanging around, who I had to fund by ransoming prisoners, incidentally, and not when your own troops aren't full strength yet.

Especially not when the Chief of Memel surrenders a few days later, freeing me up to launch the brunt of my armies at you.



You can bet I revoked his title.

I start noticing other red armies on the map and I get scared, even though I didn't notice rebelling Riga calling anyone into the war. The answer to the fear arrives quickly:



Apparently by going independent, other wolves started circling and trying to claim the territory, so he comes crawling back. As you can see by the state of the armies here, and my own rapidly thinning purse, I was happy to take it.

I decide to take a huge, *huge* gamble and risk him fleeing to another court, by trying to righteously imprison him despite an only 50% chance of success.



Happily, it succeeds, and I'm free to take all his titles and that fat, fat load of cash. My vassals already hate me, so what's a little more hatred?

Having now consolidated my power in our Lithuanian possessions, I'm now free to:



Easily the best territory in the lands and the natural capital.

And now...



Time to game on.
 

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How many vassals to hate you you actually have :D?
 

Jestor

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How many vassals to hate you you actually have :D?
At the time of that post, 9. But hold on to your hats because I spent all night playing further cuz I got hooked, and things are about to get cray-cray.
 

Jestor

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Images will turn back on tomorrow. Stupid Photobucket.
 

Stuyvesant

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Images will turn back on tomorrow. Stupid Photobucket.
It's a bit of a surreal experience to try to follow the AAR when all the punchlines (the pictures) are missing. :) Still, I piece together that you did pretty well for yourself in that invisible update. I'll comment more once the pictures are back up, if I have anything more meaningful to say then.