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loki100

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Christmas Eve 1140

The various McNab offspring are heading west from their huts and hovels to the south of the Clyde to an ever greater dump to the West. Even the local saint entered into the spirit of the place, leaving the title St Midden [1] for posterity.

The younger ones have been battered into submission. The older ones travel in dread. They know that the next 12 days and nights will be filled with the ramblings and recollections of the head of the family, the now blind, and never very bright, John McNab as he recounts his deeds and actions. That his importance in the great sweep of those times ranged from that of a dead louse to the status of a mouse just eaten by a cat was but a small barrier.

Fortunately for posterity, at least one of the family was either cursed with literacy or had an unusually good memory. Thus John McNab's view of a turbulent period has been rediscovered and is now available for the modern reader [2].



[1] – this maybe slightly mis-spelt
[2] – to ensure this is comprehensible, it has been translated from the original Scots but some words and phrases are left untranslated. Where possible, a rough meaning has been indicated in a footnote.

Gameplay note - this uses the Earl of Lothian, with his one province demesne. So there is no great master plan, just a desire to see how the events created by CK2 can be used to construct a narrative. I'll run it up to the 1130s with the narrator being by then too senile etc. Unless that is, it proves to be wildly successful :D

Table of Contents


1066-1068, in which the matter of producing an heir is much discussed
1068-1072, pregnancies, bears, boars and deep fried kebabs
1072-1076, in which Glasgow exports its lunatics to Edinburgh
1076-1080, in which being bone idle really works out well
1080-1084, in which the stress of livng rather gets to the Earl
1084-1086, in which sibling rivalries drive the earl to a well deserved end
1086-1090, in which Rab spends time with his mates
1090-1094, in which Rab tries to keep quiet
1094-1098, in which Patience has her virtue explored
1098-1102, in which various tactical options are explored
1102-1106, in which Rab is rather refined and literary
1106-1110, in which the perils of the demon drink are explored
1110-1114, a treatise on the problems of men wearing Alice Bands
1114-1118, in which the family that stays together ends up trying to kill each other and other friendly tales
1118-1122, in which acts of revenge and civil war are drawfed by an outraged turkey
1122-1126, in which Edinburgh is incorporated as a small suburb of Glasgow
1126-1130, in which Rab gets greedy
1130-1134, in which there is more than one Rab
1134-1138, in which Rab II starts slowly
1138-1140, in which John dies and Rab realises he needs to take things slowly
 
Last edited:

morningSIDEr

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St Midden
Nah, that looks correctly spelled to me.

One of my favourite writers, playing as a ruler in my neck of the woods (at least Lothian cannot become any worse than it currently is) in my favourite Paradox series, needless to say I am very much subscribed!
 

loki100

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All are assembled ... and we just make it into 1068

"oh those were the days ..."

"oh grandpa, look at this piece of mud, its drying slowly, ... isn't that exciting"

"... now where was I ... those were the days"

"look quicker he starts the quicker we can all get bladdered"


... and the tale begins



well the Earl, a fearsome man he was. Not as bad as the Lord Mayor, grasping git he was ... but we respected our elders in those days. Not that Donald liked the Earl, so I heard.



Now the big thing in those days was the question of the 'heir'

"whats an heir grandpa"

"shut up, let him get on with it so we get finished tonight"


and thats where the Earl had a problem, well he had a lot of problems, but see he was chaste (and incompetent not that he saw it that way)



and his planned bride was chaste and shy



"grandpa whats chaste"

but apparently very mean to passing kittens, and my what an appetite ... and we all had to pay for the food. I tell you these royal weddings are always over-hyped.

But see they were both into virtue,

"whats virtue"

"not something to worry about around here"


and she was overeating and pullings legs off kittens ... so the production of the 'heir' became a bit of a challenge. Off they toddled, she fell asleep from overeating, they were both too shy.

But well she got a bit broody after a while,

what with all these other weddings going on

Now the Hungarian one, whow, she livened up the place, not that she got on with her husband either



Anyway it seems as if Zila gave Constance some advice



so we were all given the day off and went to the pub to celebrate. Problem was some posh bloke came around demanding money



With her knocked up, he got bored



and then this scruffy bunch turned up – tell you their armour was a disgrace



and it was about then the furry boot boys got a bit antsy



"oh you can't tell that tale now ... not with the kids awake"
 

loki100

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My style of play exactly. I will follow this one for sure (as I followed all those great HOI3 AARs by you Loki)
well it was always great sport with CK1 to watch how the (actually unconnected) events could be twisted into a narrative, so my real goal here is to explore that. And of course there is great fun to be the sort of size where things are done to you rather than by you

Nah, that looks correctly spelled to me.

One of my favourite writers, playing as a ruler in my neck of the woods (at least Lothian cannot become any worse than it currently is) in my favourite Paradox series, needless to say I am very much subscribed!
Well your neck of the woods is in a different province ... but we shall see. On my grumpier days when I worked in the 'place to the west' I did think that St Midden should have been his title.
 

morningSIDEr

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Good stuf, I especially like the small snippets of conversation between those gathered round listening to McNab.

As they both dislike each other before wed, Mael and Constance's union seems a typical Scottish marriage. I had to laugh at the tax collector being assaulted in Clydesdale, as if Scots would ever act in such a fashion!
 

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Granted, two years is not a long stretch to judge things by, but it looks like Earl McNab has all the qualities of the Crovan clan, yet none of their drive. ;) I think this tale will be confined to whatever corner of Scotland it is set in right now for a long time to come. :)

Looks good and interesting - I wholly intend to actually play this game eventually, but so far I haven't progressed beyond the basic tutorials (in the demo) and progressing the start date from 1066 to 1285, simply to see how the Byzantine Empire changed...
 

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well it was always great sport with CK1 to watch how the (actually unconnected) events could be twisted into a narrative, so my real goal here is to explore that. And of course there is great fun to be the sort of size where things are done to you rather than by you
I told you this is my style of play. Zila Akos, the Hungarian girl is actually the daughter of the count I am playing right now :)
 

LordTempest

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Stupid grandchildren, clearly they must be the products of a traditional (or modern) Scottish education. :D
 

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A really enjoyable read.

I have to comment on one of the screen shots. In the hunt message that reads .. .. .. "I slew one great boar before he killed my horse and myself", I'm guessing it should actually read - "I slew one great boar myself before he killed my horse"? :D

I'll be following along.
 

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Good stuf, I especially like the small snippets of conversation between those gathered round listening to McNab.

As they both dislike each other before wed, Mael and Constance's union seems a typical Scottish marriage. I had to laugh at the tax collector being assaulted in Clydesdale, as if Scots would ever act in such a fashion!
exactly I mean the polis to this day are universally respected across greater Glasgow ... clearly utterly unrealistic to claim otherwise

Granted, two years is not a long stretch to judge things by, but it looks like Earl McNab has all the qualities of the Crovan clan, yet none of their drive. ;) I think this tale will be confined to whatever corner of Scotland it is set in right now for a long time to come. :)

Looks good and interesting - I wholly intend to actually play this game eventually, but so far I haven't progressed beyond the basic tutorials (in the demo) and progressing the start date from 1066 to 1285, simply to see how the Byzantine Empire changed...
I think our Earl has quite enough at home to keep him busy to be honest. I am trying to stir something up in Ayrshire, but it'll be a while afore anything happens

I told you this is my style of play. Zila Akos, the Hungarian girl is actually the daughter of the count I am playing right now :)
That is downright scary, but Zila does seem to be a girl of very definite views on life

Stupid grandchildren, clearly they must be the products of a traditional (or modern) Scottish education. :D
I think its fair to assume that like any large family get together over the christmas (this will run the traditional 12 days), most of them have heard it all before, and thats before the booze loosens tongues

Nice immersive framework <- the conversation that is!
so glad you like it

A really enjoyable read.

I have to comment on one of the screen shots. In the hunt message that reads .. .. .. "I slew one great boar before he killed my horse and myself", I'm guessing it should actually read - "I slew one great boar myself before he killed my horse"? :D

I'll be following along.
thank you - & yes you are right, well there is another killer boar (& I don't mean our 'hero' John) in the next update too ...
 

loki100

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In which everything is set fair, 1068-1072



Ok the weans [1] are asleep

in bed?

No, the chickens are in the beds ... the weans are outside

so tell us about the furry boot [2] boys

who

the furry boot boys

oh no one knows ...

right we're off to bed

don't you want to know how his second born came to be known as Rab?

You see the first one was ...



no we've heard it before and don't believe you

but but



look we've heard your tales of how you helped her overcome her shyness ....

well there is evidence, you know, he always was suspicious of the wee one



And then there was that special drink I gave him



Well at least let me tell you about the summer fairs, thats always good for a laugh

you see there was this punter with a big black book wandering up and down Sauchiehall street [3], getting in everyones way. I mean me and Rab were flogging some antiques we'd found [4] the day before and ...



then next year, we're setting up the deepfried veg stall and one of the frozen neeps hits his earlship on the head ... he seemed to find it funny



Mind you next year he had a right cob on[5] and when Rab accidently hit him with a deep fried haggis, that was it for Rab. Second I shouted 'be careful Rab', that was it, poor man was in chains and off to the dungeons


For some rather odd reason the Mayor rather took Rab's part in it all (I think its because it was the last haggis)


anyway after his falling out with David, he had this thing with another David.

You know, I just don't think he liked the name ... bit like he didn't like Rab ... no accounting for some folks

We are going to bed

Even without the tale of the failed kebab plot?



go on then

well him and the cook were going to make this huge kebab and when the Earl came to eat it, they'd stab him with it.

And

well some numpty [6] broke into the kitchen the night before looking for toothpicks and it was rather blunt when the moment came

thats it

what about the great bear hunt?



boar I meant



he was real powerful with his spear in those days .... which is when the twins were conceived come to think about it

we do not want to hear about the wolves, there are no wolves in Glasgow

well thats because



we don't believe you

see you in the morning


[1] – children
[2] – a reference to the Aberdeen accent, this AAR is rather parochial
[3] – a well known shopping emporium in Glasgow, infamous for the sheer tack it sells
[4] – 'found' of course should read: 'made'
[5] – sort of annoyed, already in a bad mood before anything actually happens
[6] – numpty – an idiot
 
Last edited:

Serek000

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This is great stuff. Constance is proving to be quite the fertile wife! She's certainly no sex pot, though - in my head I imagine both the Earl and his wife going through a "close your eyes and think of [Scotland]" routine every night.

Twins, though! That's something that must be new to CK2. It's a good addition.

At any rate, awesome AAR so far.
 

morningSIDEr

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Interesting to see Scotland's usually culinary delights, deep fried anything, nearly proving rather more lethal than usual!

For someone supposedly chaste Constance's sudden fertility is rather surprising, I don't blame Mael for becoming rather paranoid. Then again his prowess with a spear may explain everything.
 

Stuyvesant

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The jester sure has it in for you, eh? At least he's not involved with plots - he would succeed, whereas the other plot seems to exhibit all sorts of generalized incompetence (it got discovered by the Earl, after all - not exactly the brightest light in this universe).

All the children from such a chaste couple? I think Serek000 has it: they're both doing their duty, no matter how unpleasant it is. You have to admire such dedication.

With the boar event text ("I slew one great boar before he killed my horse and myself"), I think Paradox were aiming for something like "I slew one great boar before he managed to kill my horse and myself". But it is ambiguously phrased.
 

loki100

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This is great stuff. Constance is proving to be quite the fertile wife! She's certainly no sex pot, though - in my head I imagine both the Earl and his wife going through a "close your eyes and think of [Scotland]" routine every night.

Twins, though! That's something that must be new to CK2. It's a good addition.

At any rate, awesome AAR so far.
I've never seen twins before so it must be new. For a couple who are both not too keen on sex and don't really like each other ... they sure have quite a production line on the go. Not much to do in Glasgow as of a saturday night in those days?

Interesting to see Scotland's usually culinary delights, deep fried anything, nearly proving rather more lethal than usual!

For someone supposedly chaste Constance's sudden fertility is rather surprising, I don't blame Mael for becoming rather paranoid. Then again his prowess with a spear may explain everything.
It runs a bit in the family, as is briefly explored in the next post

The jester sure has it in for you, eh? At least he's not involved with plots - he would succeed, whereas the other plot seems to exhibit all sorts of generalized incompetence (it got discovered by the Earl, after all - not exactly the brightest light in this universe).

All the children from such a chaste couple? I think Serek000 has it: they're both doing their duty, no matter how unpleasant it is. You have to admire such dedication.

With the boar event text ("I slew one great boar before he killed my horse and myself"), I think Paradox were aiming for something like "I slew one great boar before he managed to kill my horse and myself". But it is ambiguously phrased.
Yes, Donald the marshall is certainly of the 'point me at them ... but don't ask me to think' school of military thought (if thought is too strong a word). That was indeed one inept plot.

Nah, I like the zombie boar returning from the death to kill off his attackers ... much more realistic
 

loki100

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1072-1076, a lucky escape and a lunatic is sent to Edinburgh

Tis Christmas day ... the kids are let back in only to find there were no presents, apart from, another morning listening to ....

Well gather round ... come closer thats right I'm cold and lonely, now where were we?


[1]

Well he had this friendly phase, well apart from his son and wife and that bunch over in Ayr



which of course made this all a bit of a mystery



Anyway this just added to his reputation as the big spearman among the other Earls



and he was invited to be big chums with Gospatrick:



he came back, seriously bevvied up, but in a right good mood ... well till he met Rab again.

There he was, out and about, greeting people. Rab had just got out the Bar-L [2] and was helping me on the deep fried apple stall. Just as his earlship passed, I shouted "Rab, pass us the batter" ... and he was battered and dragged off by the polis again



Oh that was the start of the great law and order thing ... what fun, well at least till Rab was caught on the staw [3]



then we were sent to boot camp, to learn us some discipline they said,

aye right ... we soon put an end to that idiocy



Then there was there was all that whinging when his brother in law refused to visit:



[oi, I'm busy at the moment, leave me out of this][4]

Though it was probably for the best, what with his relations with Constance and whatever

Then there was that thing down in Ayr

No, not while the children are listening

not even

No

oh tell us ...

No

ah well not important, just a wee stushie [5]



Oh grandfather what an interesting big map that is:



Anyway it was all overlooked, with the big wedding between the King and the mad woman



She looks normal

She wasn't

and was that your first time in Edinburgh grandfather?

yes we all went to make sure she arrived safely

why were the roads dangerous

no, more the Earl wanted to make sure she actually went



... or more to the point, to make sure that he didn't send her straight back




[1] – my rough idea is that each update sort of works as a theme around a particular trait of the Earl. I'm then sort of roleplaying the choices I make in a particular in-game session on those lines.
[2] – Barlinnie Jail on the outskirts of Glasgow – not a nice place
[3] – staw - to steal
[4] - which will only make sense if you also read my Ming AAR, but given the name I couldn't resist the cross reference
[5] – fight or argument
 

morningSIDEr

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Good stuff, liking the Ming reference. Thus Mael truly is greatly proficient in wielding a polearm, you'd think that such proficiency would rather scare Rab into no longer assaulting the poor Earl with food each summer at the fair! This marriage between Elspeth and Malcolm looks promising.
 

Stuyvesant

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More of a Ming/Burning Down the Houses hybrid cross-reference, but still appreciated. :)

It seems the Earl is successful in spreading his fame beyond his own demesne. Getting invited to parties, blackmailing nobles the next province over, fabricating claims, marrying the King to a lunatic... Why, I would almost think the Earl is actually quite the achiever (besides his obvious achievements when it comes to family enlargement)! And we're still only ten years into the game! The possibilities are endless! Although, to be fair, that can go both ways...