The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds: The UNTOLD story

[Kurt_Steiner]

Here comes a short AAR (at least I hope so, as I do not pretend to tell nothing but a short tale) using the '44 scenario, which is going to explain the secret history (perhaps for good reasons) of one of the less-knwon units of the British Army: The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds.

Blame Tarantino for all of this

The following information has been finally released under the terms of the Official Secrets Act 1989 (chapter 6).


The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds: The UNTOLD story - UK AAR
Introduction, Houses of Parliament, 10 May 1944

The meeting had concluded. The War Cabinet was ended, but Winston Churchill was still furious. Something in his warriorlike spirit did not allow him to rest, and he was pacing, up and down, bitting his cigar while furiously thinking.

The Yanks had their Dirty Dozen under a Major Reisman -or what remained of them after the raid against a French Chateau, which had ended with several German Generals dead, according to Washington. Now, that ghost unit, which was ravaging the German rearguard in France and giving a hell of a time to the Nazis...

"Which was the name that the MI6 had given them...?" mussed the Prime Minister, while looking through the window. The Basterds, he remenbered, with half a smile. Aldo the Apache, he remembered, with a dark grin. Turning to his desk, Churchill felt another cold chill going through his spine as he reviewed the report about the last madness of Hitler, some kind of experiment which, it seemed, was undergoing the last stages prior to be ready to use, some kind of Wunderwaffe that, as far as Churchill could say, worried not only the MI6, but also the OSS.

"And if our American cousin is worried, it means bussiness". After a brief pause, he took a decision. Britain was going to have his own bastards.

After all, Churchill thought, with a half an smile, Britain knew a bit about bastards since William the Conqueror, 1066 and all that...

 

[unmerged(166917)]

Mmm poor nazis...
I'm suscribed!

 

[unmerged(142211)]

Mmm poor nazis...
I'm suscribed!

you mean natzees

 

[El Pip]

Kurt going crazy. Excellent.

 

[unmerged(166917)]

you mean natzees

Yup!
Will we see a British version of the "Bear Jew"?
Killing natzees with a cricket bat...nasty! :rofl:

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

Geh. Kommanndosache Chefsache.
Nur duch Offizier
KR Blitz

OB West IA
Okdo d. HGr. B. Ia​

Die Verteidigung dem "Gross Paris" Stellung ist von entscheidender militärischer Bedeutung.

The security of the city must be placed in the higher level possible, as our capacity to launch our future fight against the Allies depends on it.

OKW / WFSt / Op (H)
Nr. 772767/44

23. 6 . 1944.
11.00 Uhr.​

The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds: The UNTOLD story - UK AAR
Chapter one, May-en-Multien, France, May 29 1944

He was never late. Every evening he was there, with his old Mauser and his binoculars, as the inhabitants of May-en-Multien saw him to cross the center of the village on his wat to the small church of Our Lady, which dated from the 12th century and was placed on the high grounds over the Ourcq river, as the bells called for the Angelus.

He was a Feldwebel from the Luftwaffe, with some grey hair on his bulky head. Once he was inside of the building, he took his cap off and, with it on his hand, he began his ascension. The long old stair took him to the bell tower. There there was a table, a heather and a chair. Over the table laid a field map that a staff officer had given him, and a phone. The bell tower of the Church of our Lady was an observatory of the Luftwaffe.

With his binoculars he could keep an eye over the whole area. The German could see from the Marne to the great cathedral of Meaux, to the South, to the Middle Ages Walls of the La Festé-Milán castle., to the north.

The night was going to rise a few hours later. The Feldwebel would keep his watch over the area, peering inside the darkness that surroundered him. With the first light of the new day he will call to the regional Headquarters at Soissons and would day his report: "Nichts Neues".

The Germans knew that the Allies made their drops to the French Resistance with the full moon los aliados. There were still five days for the next one. The German Feldwebel was sure that nothing was to happen in that little corner of the Occupied France. Thus he thought he could sleep a bit that night of May 29th. However, he was wrong.

While he was asleep, in a small cornfield just three kilometres away from the church, two men and a woman form the French Resistance were preparing a dropping zone. A few minutes past eleven o'clock, they could heard the engines of a Lancaster bomber which was fliying very low over the Ourcq valley. Then they switched on their lights.

As soon as the pilot saw the triangle of light, he gave the order and the red light was switched off and the green one illuminated the men. Then they began to jump into the night.

As the canopy blossomed, the British commandos began to prepare for landing. Knees sligthly flexed, legs together, toes down to absorb the impact and ready to roll with the absorption.

Karaiskandar: Wise election

rule_them_all: I don't get the joke, methinks...

El Pip: Better me going nuts than old Winnie, don't you think?

Karaiskandar (2): The Bear Jew, in this case, will be something like the "Scot lad" About the cricket bat... how did you know it? Perhaps too obvious. Beating a nazi with an umbrella isn't the same, methinks. Or is it not? I'll have to try...

 

[TRP]

Awesome, subscribed.

-Laurence

 

[unmerged(166917)]

Karaiskandar (2): The Bear Jew, in this case, will be something like the "Scot lad"

Hmm the "Scot lad"...maybe a Claymore would be more appropriate? :rofl:

About the cricket bat... how did you know it? Perhaps too obvious....

Yeah, quite obvious indeed, but very funny nonetheless!

Beating a nazi with an umbrella isn't the same, methinks. Or is it not? I'll have to try...

Must be very very very painful...(poor umbrella)

 

[Ciryandor]

POKING and THRUSTING with the umbrella is however, a better proposition.

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds: The UNTOLD story - UK AAR
Chapter two, Abbacy of Our Merciful Lady of the Holy Suffering, Paris, June 1st 1944

The nine sisters of the order of Our Merciful Lady of the Holy Suffering were lost in their prays in the dark atmosphere of the chappel when somebody called at the door. Three strong calls could be heard, followed by a softer fourth call. Two of the nun rose and, after crossing themselves, they went out. For them, sister Jean and sister Marie, these sounds meant that an importar visitor had come.

For the last four years the Germans had looked endlessly for this abbey, placed in number 127 of De la Glacière street. Within his ancient walls the headquearters of Jade Amicol, the c-i-c of the Intelligence Service in the occupied France, directed the secret war against the Nazis. Until Jade Amicol ha been able to fool the GESTAPO. In 1943 he had met admiral Canaris in that same place. Canaris wanted to know from London what was needed for Germany to have peace with the Allies. Fifteen days later came the reply. Just two words: "Unconditional surrender".

Sister Jean opened a bit the door and saw the cheerful face of a yong man.

-My name is Alain, and I have something big and hard for you.

As Jean recognized the password, and after being sure that nobody had followed them, she open the door and the commandoes entered into the abbey. A few minutes later, Major Archibald Montague St. Barleigh met Jean Amicol.

After exchanging the usual pleasentries in this kind of situations, Archibald, or Archie, as his mates called him, began to talk.

-Sir, let me introduce you to my men. This his my second in command, Staff Sergeant Angus MacLeod,...

-I beg your pardon, but - Amicol asked- What's that thing your carrying in your back, Staff Sargeant MacLeod?

-A battleaxe, sir -the reply came out.

-A battleaxe you said?

-Yes sir. It is a tradition in my family, since my first Viking ancestors, to go to battle with a battleaxe, sir.

-Mon Dieu...

Clearly surprised, Amicol turned to the officer.

-Well, major, the reason why the MI6 sent your men... what's the matter with you, young man?

-Corporal? -Archie asked, half-surprised by the odd aspect of the man. He was a young soldier carrying a Bren light machine gun, who looked quite annoyed.

-Dunno, sir.. I not can help it... I feel something is going really bad here, sir. Them boys are here, but...

-Put yourself together, corporal. -Then, turning to Amicol, who began to look more annoyed than the corporal, Archie asked- Please, can you go on, sir?

Amicol obliged. It seemed that the Germans were working in a terrible weapon of mass distruction, a gas that would only kill depending on the genetic coda of the victim, and it would only affect those non-Aryan.

-But sir! -Archie exploded- that's nonsense! It's like trying to create a bullet that kill only the Hereford hooligans and not the ones from the Reds!

-Alarm! -then the corporal shouted, while opening fire with his Bren-. It's a trap!

All the commandos made use of their weapons. Bren light machine gun, Sten guns and Webley handguns made their work and the nuns began tofall, cut in half by the storm of fire, with the bowels and brains covering the walls. The last to fall, with his head broken in thirty two fragments cauasd by the terrible blow of McLeod's axe, was Amicol, who, dying, had time to say a few words:

-You... bastards... had... I... know... that... they... would... send... me ... the biggest... pack... of retarded... in the... British... army... I'll had... asked... them... to... send... me... a division... of Spaniards... Damned bastards...

And he died.

Archie, a bit furious, turned to the corporal and asked him:

-I suppose you had a good reason to shout that it was a trap...

-Yessa! There thou hast it! That there book! A Papist Bible in French? Since when the PApipst had bibles in French, uh?

-Being myself a proud Reformist, I cannot tell you much, but I guess that it's since 1550 and the Leuven Bible, my boy.

-...

-Yes... Well, never mind. Now, now. We have a bit of a trouble. We have to avoid that gas to be used and we have not the foggiest idea of where the heck are the laboratories where the Germans are developing it.

McLeod, who was cleaning his axe from religious and lay brains, mused:

-Well done, lad. Now it's when the real thing begins, isn't it, sir?

Meanwhile, the final countdown to Overlord was begun.

 

[Enewald]

Bah, you should really keep me informed when you start a new AAR. o
What about the CK AAR?

Where is the pro-German resistance movement?

 

[unmerged(166917)]

Awesome...didn't see the battleaxe coming...!

-My name is Alain, and I have something big and hard for you.

Mmmh quite an appropriate code for an Abbacy...:rofl:

 

[Asalto]

Wow, another AAR from Kurt Steiner. Start looks fine, let's see what will follow.

 

[unmerged(110977)]

I'm starting to wonder if you're in the same university as I'm in. Alain as I said before is my prof's teaching assistant, and my university just happens to have a building named after some Mr. McLeod...

 

[unmerged(138234)]

great start! looking forward to more battleaxe action *subscribe*

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds: The UNTOLD story - UK AAR
Chapter three, Café de la Paix, Paris, June 9 1944

The days which followed the massacre of the abbacy of Our Merciful Lady of the Holy Suffering saw the GESTAPO searching even the stones of the old building searching for anything that may give them a clue about it. But nothing came out of it. Then, when the Kirminalrat vom Paris was beginning to see a Red hand over it, an event in the distant Normandy changed the priorities of the III Reich.

June 6 saw the Allied landing at Normandy. The feared invasion of Europe had started. After some days of vicious fighting, the allies had secured a beach head and were working to expand it towards Caen, Carentan, Bayeux, St. Lo and Cherburg.

Life in Paris did not changed. It was a sunny morning, June 9th, when grefeiter Fritz Gottschalk came down the Champs Elysées with his 250 comrades from the 1st Sicherunnsregiment in the 1,386th day of occupation of the city by the Wehrmacht. The big avenue was almsot empty, as the inhabitants of the city hard leart to avoid that kind of painful humillation that begun on June 15th, 1940, the day when the blue, white and red flag had been replaced by the black, white and red of the III Reich.

Gottschalk marched making noise, as he and his mates went on with the goose step march. At the rue de Rivoli, at the place de la Concorde, in front of the Luxembourg palace and the Quai d'Orsay, the German soldiers kept their watch, barring the pass to the French citizens. Some other men kept their watch in front of the number 74th of avenue Foch and the number 9 of the rue de Saussaies, plus some other buildings, less colorful, but quite well known places, anyway. From those buildings only awful screams were able to escape, and only at night.

Sipping a coffe at the Café de la Paix, Archie and Staff Sargeant McLeod tried to decode the jungle of street signals that were coverting the center of the square.

Der Militärbefehlshaber im Frankreich.
General der Luftwaffe.
Haupverkehrsdirektion Paris
Zur Normandie Front.

The streets were empty. Hardly any vehicle could be seen, as they were a quiet few fortunate ones who had an ausweis to run. That morning, then, there was an air of emptiness in the streets of Paris.

Suddenly, the world of grefeiter Fritz Gottschalk became a brilliant and painful lighthning of white light. When the German soldiers came in front of a velo-taxi named Modern Times, an explosion broke the peace of the square. As the men from the Felgendarmerie barked their appearance in the battered area, Archie and McLeod paid their bill, took the newspapers and went out of the building, walking calmly away from the mad hell that they had caused.

It was time to know a bit about that darned laboratory...

Enewald: I'm lazy... About the CK AAR... which one? the interrupted one? the new one? The pro-German resistance movement is being chased by Aldo the Apache.

Karaiskandar: Amicol didn't either. About the code...

Asalto: Glad to know it looks fine!

gaiasabre11: Scaring coincidence...

NicLovin: Stay tunned...

 

[Enewald]

Don't tell me you're playing the yanks! :wacko:

The insane CK AAR I mean.

 

[XHR]

Hm nice screenie... here comes the obvious question: what graphics mod is this?

 

[unmerged(28944)]

I'm hooked... I mean, who wouldn't with a commando carrying a battleaxe into battle with him?

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

The OTHER not quite Glorious Basterds: The UNTOLD story - UK AAR
Chapter four, Notre Dame, Paris, June 21 1944

To the two men in the Horch car which went through the streets of Paris, the city looked as heaven on earth. General Walter Warlimont and his ADC, Major Helmuth Perponecher, tired, but in good spirits, looked in awe at the wonderful sight of Notre Dame, which hung over their heads. Warlimont had traveled to France to meet with Field Marshal Rommel and Vice Admiral Friedrich Ruge to discuss the situation in Normandy, as Cherbourg had been finally taken by the Allies on June 20th. The British were pressing to Argentan and the American had released their tanks towards Brest, and nothing, apparently, could slow their onslaught.

Unaware of Warlimont's car, Sonderführer Alfred Schlenker, from Berlin, was making his way to the military court where, since three years ago, hundreds of Frenchmen were sentenced to death. He worked as a translator there. He was thinking in his meeting with his kamerad, Eugen Hommens, with whom he would dinner after the sessions.

The aristocratic Oberst Hans Jay was returning from a night of pleasure a few steps behind Schlenker. He was also lost in deep thoughts, smiling at the memory of the young lady he had seduced that night in the cabaret "Shérézade". For him, war was just a pleasure. On the other side of the rue, a young and beautiful lady, Annabella Waldner, was on his way to his home, at Raphaël 26, in Passy. She was 24 years old and was the guest of the military governor of Paris, von Boimberg.

For all of them, life in Paris was a delight. They were not the only ones. Antoinnete Charbonier, the young daughter of a bussinessman who had lost his arm fighting against the Germans in Verdun in the First World War, nothing could be more awful that the idea of loosing her lover, Hauptmann Hans Werner, with whom had spent the night dancing at the "Monseigneur".

The peace of the calm morning was interrupted when a car erupted from a corner and, at full speed, rammed Warlimont's Horch. The car jerked violently to the right, and the General aas thrown out of the car by the sheer violence of it. Before Warlimont could react, two men appeared and gunned his car, spreading it with bullets and killing his chauffer and his aide. Then, still walking clamly towards the perplexed officer, they began to turn their guns against him when they caught a glimpse for mademoiselle Charbonier, who froze while crossing the street, and two soldiers, one of them an officer. Without a warning, the Sten guns barked at once.

The bullets crossed the street, tearing down a red path on Jay's uniform. Another bullet, ricocheting in a rocky corner, entered the eye of Schlenker's to make a real mess in his brain. The young lady remained standing for some seconds. Then, like a broken toy, she began to go down, slowly, like a magnificient fortress of the past going down under the towers of Notre Dame.

Warlimont, still under shock, did not react when his adc, who was trying to trying to get out of the car in his last dying breath, and was riddled with a storm of bullets against the Horch. He didn't even react when he saw a big bulky red-haired man waving a huge battleaxe against his head.

Then, lights when off.

As the bloodshed ended and the attackers went way, Annabella Walder remained sitting on the ground, reduced to a panicked source of sobs. On her check there was the graze of a bullet how had missed its target.

A few days later, as the GESTAPO was launching an all-out man hunt in Paris, Archie's bastards discovered that they had killed a general. Some days would past until they knew about some odd things going up and down at the cathedral of Notre Dame at night.


Enewald: Of course not. UK AAR, remember? The insace CK is now enjoying a bit of a rest until I recover my Middle Ages mood.

XHR: It's a Spanish mod called "Elite mod".

Draco Rexus: Just imagine the chat from two GESTAPO men:

-what'cha doing, Hermann?

-Huntin' traitor generals, Heinz. So many guilty people... And you?

-Hunting the Red-Haired Fox with an Axe...

-Poor you...

-Yeah...