• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

unmerged(27641)

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Apr 7, 2004
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Good job at completely destroying your relations with you only ally! :rolleyes:

But seriously, another wonderful tale made my day.

I must admit that my Ethiopa game doesn't draw my attention much anymore, but next time I play a few more years I'll take a snapshot.

BTW, is there anything special I need to do to post an image? Do have to use a third-party or will Pardox let me do it without? I notice you post your images at another website.
 

unmerged(24591)

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"......so that only left the war with Kilwa, which I must confess I’d completely forgotten about........."
That gave me a good laugh! :rofl:
 

Sindai

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MadMage said:
BTW, is there anything special I need to do to post an image? Do have to use a third-party or will Pardox let me do it without? I notice you post your images at another website.
You have to have a separate webhost that alows hotlinking.
 

unmerged(28944)

Would-be King of Dragons
May 10, 2004
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Great update.... and do I feel pity for the poor little kitty cat? In a word, not! ;)
So, which poor unsuspecting country is going to be targeted by The Other Big White Blob? Kilwa or Ethiopia?
 

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LevePalestinaKrossaSionis men
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Farquharson said:
The Gonzo: Hmm - that sounds like incitement to violence. Speaking of which, I could use some help from the Inflation BustAARs here - do they operate in East Africa at all?
Yes, it is incitment to violence, I think.

And I think they do work in East Africa, ask the Mountain Lion...
 

Farquharson

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Rythin: How dare Ethiopia be blobbier than Mombasa! I promise I will rectify the situation as soon as possible! :mad:

Corruption: But... but... all those baboons! :eek:

Machiavellian: Ethiopia - Zanzibar - now I can't decide...

Troggle: The whole of Africa? Hmmm. A scary notion, but it might just be do-able. And that would be blob-shaped, wouldn't it? :)

MadMage: Er - shouldn't that read "Good job at destroying your only ally"? :D But of course, I'm pals with the Ethiopian-hating Yemenis now!

JRoch: It comes of playing on Fast all the time! :eek:

Draco Rexus: Thanks! The idea of a fluffy kitty cat first suggested itself when I started referring to Mogadishu as "the Moggies", but when I discovered that there is in fact a breed of cat called "Somali", that clinched it! ;)

The Gonzo: Ok, I'll get them onto it just a soon as I can track down that lion...

Gaijin de Moscou: Glad you like the names. This is in fact about the easiest part. For those who don't happen to be fluent Swahili-speakers, they're mostly just the Swahili words for the animals.

Today, however, we're having a break from Kipling...
 

Farquharson

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Game notes: 1520 - 1546

With a lovely Gift to the State of 200 ducats I returned to the task of strengthening the Mombasa Navy to a level capable of mounting an invasion of Zanzibar. I’d been impressed at the performance of my all-cavalry armies against the Ethiopians and estimated that the 31000 defenders might just be dislodged by 12000 cavalry. Twelve galleys were therefore prepared, then my cavalry were increased to the required strength. In September 1522 all was ready, and with the cavalry already boarded on the ships I declared war (yup, once more without a CB I’m afraid...) It didn’t take long for my cavalry to get ashore, and then came the moment of truth...

The Charge of the Striped Brigade
(with sincere apologies to Alfred Lord Tennyson)



Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All on the beach of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, the Striped Brigade!
"Charge the baboons!" he said:
Onto the beach of Death
Rode the six hundred.

"Forward, the Striped Brigade!"
What creature was dismay'd?
Not tho' the zebras knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Their's not to make reply,
Their's not to reason why,
Their's but to do and die:
Onto the beach of Death
Rode the six hundred.



Baboons to right of them,
Baboons to left of them,
Baboons in front of them
Hooted and thunder’d;
Storm'd at with sand and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Brown shields with silver moons,
Flash'd as they crossed the dunes,
Stomping on those baboons,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged on the island’s shore
Right thro' the apes they tore;
Gibbon and mandrill
Reel'd from the zebras’ roar
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
They would return no more
Those brave six hundred.

Baboons to right of them,
Baboons to left of them,
Baboons behind them
Hooted and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with sand and shell,
While each striped hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Striped Brigade,
Noble six hundred.



(Please note: no animals were harmed in the making of this update.)​

Well, six hundred would not have done the job I fear, but happily twelve thousand managed it, leaving 50% of their number dead on the beaches. From then on it was just a question of time. The rest of the war was hampered by revolts in Lindi and Malindi, although the latter was a result of a “Conversion by the Sword” event, turning the province back to Sunni, so that was definitely worth the trouble. In January 1525 Zanzibar was finally captured and just over a year later, in March 1526, Rufiji fell and Kilwa were forced to hand over their big fat CoT. Hooray!

A few months later Yemen declared war on Ethiopia again, and I joined in, however my army was currently divided between quelling occasional revolts on Zanzibar and trying to recapture Lindi. By the time they could head north to join the fun the insolent Ethiopians had grabbed Ogaden. I was just preparing to wrest it back from them when the witless Yemenis made peace, paying 54 ducats in indemnities and handing Afars back to Ethiopia. Well at least it gave me the hope of grabbing (Sunni) Afars for myself at some point in the future.

Yemen declared war on the Ethiopians yet again in 1534, and this time things went much better. I captured Harerge in April 1535, and was making good progress against Arsi when the Yemenis once again made peace a little prematurely, in February 1536. At least this time they took 143 ducats from Ethiopia, to be shared between them, us, Egypt and Khorasan.

In 1536 I decided to tidy things up and annex Kilwa for good. No CB, as usual, but it had never stopped me before. The siege of Rufiji lasted eight months and in August 1537 I took control of the last remaining Swahili province, taking my BB score to around 22.

Meanwhile what was I doing with all that extra money I was raking in? Well, promoting tax collectors, establishing and expanding a colony in Galana province (copper-producing), rebuilding my trading post in Morogoro which a stray Kilwan army had managed to burn down, and investing in land tech, trade and infra. So by 1546 Mombasa looked like this:



Compare with the other Big White Blob at the same scale:

I have now have fifteen provinces, compared with Austria’s seventeen. I am #9 in the VP table with 413, while Austria are at #2 with 697. I am now seriously wondering if I can go for the whole of Africa by 1819 - there’s quite a way to go, but I like it as a goal to aim for at least.

Other items of interest - inflation is at 55%, manpower at 7, supportable army 16000, monthly income 18.1 and bad boy 19.8.
 
Last edited:

Rythin

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But look - you can't create blobbish blob in Africa unless you conquere every African province - if so, whole continent would be great white blob!
 

Zenek K.

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Feb 21, 2004
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You're so quick that I even wasn't able to comment your previous installment. :) And now you have posted another quality update.
As to the game: at last homeland of baboons has fallen, so now you have one direction: north-west. If you manage to do conquest anticlockwise, yuu could reach your southern provinces in a few (I should add 'hundred' :) ) years. But you've got to hurry. :D

Your AARs really consist of variety of styles. And all of them are amazing. I love this:
Please note: no animals were harmed in the making of this update.
:rofl:

EDIT: Venice is doing rather well, but I'm surprised to see Ottos in the middle of Germany! Are they going for HREmpreror title? ;)
 
Last edited:
May 30, 2004
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Farquharson said:
Er - shouldn't that read "Good job at destroying your only ally"? :D But of course, I'm pals with the Ethiopian-hating Yemenis now!
Maybe you should declare war on Yemen as well now that you've taken zanzibar and have only one(Ethiopia) mortal enemy? ;)
 

Lalalilo

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Super AAR. Keep up the good work. You must be some kind of rich person who doesn't have to work or study and lives thanks to stocks and bank percentages in order to make updates so damn fast ;) . Man speedy Gonzalez has nothing on you ;)
 

VPeric

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Oh no, Bosnia has Serbia!! Well, better them, then the Turks... :( Anyway, I think you'll need a conquistador, or do some map exchanging, as you're runninf out of enemies. :D
 

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LevePalestinaKrossaSionis men
Dec 13, 2003
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Great update! I can see a big war with Ethiopia over the horizon.
 

CatKnight

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The lion stared at the ocean gloomily. Already the waves lapping on the shore were receding somewhat - it was past the height of flood, and time was turning against them.

"Come on," he muttered to no one in particular, for this time he was alone except for some nearby migratory birds. He paced up and down the beach, ignoring the hot sand on the pads of his paws, and a crab that repeatedly snapped at him when he got too near. "Where are you?"

"GET THE BOAT READY!"

Simba looked up to see the zebra careening down the dune, chased by fifty baboons. He shook his head and trotted back to the boat, again dodging the petulant crab.

"Out of my way!" screamed the zebra, faux accent forgetten, even though no one was in front of him. One of the baboons stopped and threw a coconut at the zebra, but it flew wide.

The lion pushed the boat into the water so the bow began to drift with the tide, bobbing back and forth. "Do you need assistance?" he asked, for one of the baboons had decided if a coconut was good, a tree's worth of mangos was better.

"Shove off!"

"I beg your pardon?" Simba growled.

"The boat! Shove off the boat!"

"But you're not on yet!" He obeyed though, as now zebra was very close, and so were fifty enraged baboons.

The lion pushed the boat into the water and grappled with the sail. Meanwhile, the zebra leapt the last few yards over the water and boarded the boat with a sharp thump, clatter of hooves and several inches of water over the rim into the vessel.

The baboons howled and pelted them with mangoes until the two were out of range. Then the lion turned irritably.

"Now, why the devil did we go back to Zanzibar??"

"I left my wallet on the counter."
 

unmerged(19936)

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You might want to start considering vassalizing and diplo-annexing as opposed to declaring war without a CB then force annexing. It's a little easier on the ol' BB points. Just my humble advice.

And I can assure you that Tennyson is not currently rotating in his grave, you did an admirable job emulating him.
 

unmerged(21523)

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2 migratory birds, after spending the summer along the Danube estuary in Europe, were flying back to Africa for the winter when the First Bird said to the Second Bird, "That map of Europe sure is wierd."

"Hmm, oh yes.." answered the Second Bird absentmindedly, he was busy reading the sports page to catch up on the East African football league before flying over the area again, there were some bets that would need collecting from a jackal. "I was very surprised Bohemia resisted the Habsburg takeover attempt," said the Second Bird, now deciding to enter the conversation properly.

"You lost a big bet on that one, didn't you?" the First Bird inquired gingerly.

"Let's not talk about it," sighed the Second Bird. "At least Venice came through for me."

"How do you do it?" asked the First Bird with a shocked expression. "Italians in Iberia at 300-to-1, I'd never have taken that."

"I always bet on a few longshots," replied the Second Bird, "You never know what's going to happen."

Just then they were flying over Zanzibar when the 2 avians looked down on a most bizzare sight, 12,000 zebras and 31,000 baboons locked in the heat of battle.

"Like I said, you never know what's going to happen," quoted the Second Bird.