• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Sindai

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JRoch said:
I agree with the Gonzo. Ethiopa is larger than I thought! Is that them going the whole way up the Nile? Or is there a slightly different shade of brown there and, hence, 2 countries?
Looks like Ethoiopia's eaten Adal (their neighbor to the east at the start) and Nubia (their neighbor to the north). Pretty impressive.
 

Machiavellian

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Machiavellian sat there reading the newest update, a grin of most fiendish splendor upon his face as he seemed to enjoy every moment of the tale. Finally finishing he nodded his head up and down repeatedly.

"A most interesting set of new characters, Farquharson. I am also sorry for calling your Lion silly, CatKnight."

Wiggling his tail, he blinked in surprise upon discovering he had become a reptile. Despite this sudden metamorphisis, he did not let it faze him, opening his long toothy mouth to speak.

"As far as the game is concerned, I have to disagree with those who say you should boot out your ally. Rather, unless you can get Ethiopia as an ally, I would suggest keeping them and taking slow, small bites out of the very plump and overfed ethiopia. Also, perhaps making your ally your vassal might serve well."

Then with a final smile that displayed those many sharp and wicked teeth, Machiavellian turned to Catknight.

"Perhaps Simba should come over to the tana this evening for a formal, face to face apology."
 

Semi-Lobster

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So far this has been a funny and interesting AAR! It's so much fun watching players who are twice as good as you tell a great story, or in this case, a single story with many smaller stories :)
 

unmerged(27641)

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I'm scared, how did my Ethiopia sneak into your map? :rolleyes:

I diplo-annexed Nubia and annexed my Muslim neighbor, forget-it's-name; however, my Mobassa seems to have died in its attempt at tree taking, just in case anyone is wondering. :(

Wll best of luck to you, I'm finding this game is much easier then I would have thought, being surrounded by Sunnis and Shi'a, well best of luck to you defeating my little pet country. :D
 
Last edited:

CatKnight

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On the shores of northern Mombasa, Simba the lion, for that was indeed his name, looked over the apology from the Machiavellian crocodile. "This is very unusual, best beloved."

"What is, old chap?" asked the zebra, coming over. He still wore the monacle, and had added a little diamond studded, star shaped brooch to his repetoire.

"This letter, best beloved. It makes me uneasy."

The zebra stared over his shoulder at the writings. "Everything seems quite proper. He suggests a parley. I wonder if he has any tea?"

"Yes, but this crocodile has a bit of a reputation."

"Does he now?"

"He picks on the pelican, and he got into a fight with the hippopotamus. I wouldn't be surprised if he fought the hippo again even, best beloved."

"Unneighborly of him to be sure, though truly this is no concern of ours?"

"No, of course not, best beloved. I just don't think it would go well."

"I really must be allowed to protest ... to object."

The lion looked up curiously. "About me not going?"

"No, my good lion. I'm growing concerned about this 'best beloved' reference."

"Oh, I just heard some humans using it."

"Well, please desist." The zebra sniffed. "It is making me uncomfortable."
 

Farquharson

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Corruption: Glad to have you around! Er... as long as it isn't you who's been causing all those corruption events... :eek:

The Gonzo: So how long do you think it will take to get a CB against the Moggies? Good plan though... ;)

Sultan of Swing: Based on myself, actually! :eek:o

JRoch: Hey, I could take on the Moggies and Ethiopia - why not? :D Then the croc may not get his just desserts, but he'd land up with plenty of deserts...

Sindai: Yes, Ethiopia has been growing alarmingly fast - too fast, of course - bits of their empire start falling off pretty soon. :)

Machiavellian: Well, I tended to side with you regarding how to deal with the Moggies, but you'll have to await the next update to see what actually happened (not tonight I'm afraid). And I'm pleased to see you - er - making up with CatKnight... :D

Semi-Lobster: Well thankyou! I don't regard myself as a very good player I must admit, and I have to confess I've been playing this game on Fast mostly, including straight through wars, which I kind of enjoy but it does lead to a few gaffes. I usually don't mention them though. :eek:

MadMage: Interesting to hear of your continuing parallel exploits - you don't have a screenie to throw in by any chance? Anyway, I can see there's going to be a showdown with Ethiopia sooner or later, which won't be a picnic.

VPeric: Thanks! :D

CatKnight: That lion should back off - he's not even the same species for crying out loud! :p Your contribution as always adds that little something!

Troggle: Where are you? Just wanted to say - this isn't an update! :D
 

unmerged(15337)

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Farquharson said:
And the two of them fought and fought, and they thrashed and they splashed, and they groaned and they moaned, and they bit and they hit, and they jumped and they thumped, and Mwari the pelican poured all the fish from his beak and flew away in alarm to avoid getting crushed in the middle of that fearsome brawl.
This part could have been written by Kipling himself! It was great, perfectly "in character" for the Just So Stories.

Your inflation is starting to approach Tunisian levels. :eek: ;)

And you haven't yet tried to invade Zanzibar, have you?
 

unmerged(21523)

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A pair of migratory birds were now very late for the nesting grounds. The monsoon had finally blown through, but our intrepid duo were beset by more delays at every turn. It began when the Second Bird struck up a conversation with a jackal on the beach, the two debated endlessly about the prospects of the new football season in East Africa and whether Mogadishu's goal-keeper was really as good as he was cracked up to be. After exchanging bets on several pre-season games, the Second Bird took leave of the jackal and prepared to set off at long last for the nesting grounds with his travelling companion the First Bird. Just as they prepared their take off, they ran into Mwari the Pelican, who related his tale of woe at great length to our travellers. When Mwari finally departed the First Bird turned to the Second Bird with resignation and asked, "Should we bother trying to get to the nesting grounds?"

"We're too late for a decent spot and you know it." parried the Second Bird, who though a more adventurous fellow than the First Bird, was also in a bad mood over missed nesting opportunities.

"I suppose we'll just to hang around here for the season," the First Bird sighed.

"Well, look on the bright side," answered the stoic Second Bird, "You have to admit it's a pretty interesting place, and it's not impossible that that horrible storm diverted an eligible female or two off course."

"Wouldn't that be lucky," the First Bird said dreamily.
 

Zenek K.

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Farquharson, very good update, tale was great as well as your progress in the game. Don't slow down. :)

Meanwhile I have read zachary's interlude and it gave me an idea. So I wrote something ;)



Another two migratory birds were flying north over the land of Mombasa. They didn't look quite young and it was shown when they flapped their wings. They were eager for a nice place to rest for a while. Weariness was also heard in their voices while there were talking.
"We are not so young anymore, are we?" said the first one.
"Yup, and it seems that we're not flying as fast as always," answered the second bird.
"What do you mean?" asked the first bird, slightly curious.
"Well, few seasons ago we were able to cross over Mombasa lands in a couple of days," said the second bird heading for a beach, where he spotted several birds.
As they were landing, he concluded, "Now we need few weeks to do it..."
Mwari the Pelican interrupted the conversation with another birds and joined the discussion of the newcomers.
"Yes, Mombasa is growing north and south. It extends from this ocean to the great mountains. They were even plans to take over the dry lands up north," explained polite Pelican.
"So there is a possibility that next season our route will lead solely over Mombasa..." replied the second bird and all assembled smiled in disbelief.
 
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unmerged(19936)

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Farquharson said:
Troggle: Where are you? Just wanted to say - this isn't an update! :D
I was at my cottage for a few days, trying to settle my nerves from being incessantly teased by you :D

And to be mentioned in one of your response/phony update updates without having posted first is quite the honour. A dubious honour, but an honour nonetheless.
 

unmerged(23409)

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Troggle said:
I was at my cottage for a few days, trying to settle my nerves from being incessantly teased by you :D

And to be mentioned in one of your response/phony update updates without having posted first is quite the honour. A dubious honour, but an honour nonetheless.
Give in to the Dark Side! Let your Anger consume you!
 

Director

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What fun! A new update, a new war... not that there's anything wrong with that, of course! :p

Keep up the pace of expansion and you'll soon be big enough to diplo-vassalize and annex that delicious little island and its delectable Center of Trade. So much easier to buy your way in rather than fighting 31,000 screaming baboons... :D
 

unmerged(28944)

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What could be better than Kipling like tales married up to Farq's EU2 playing? Well besides pizza and beer? :rolleyes: Answer, nothing! :cool:
 

Corruption

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Farquharson said:
Corruption: Glad to have you around! Er... as long as it isn't you who's been causing all those corruption events... :eek:
Well...um...I...accidently... ;)
 

Farquharson

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jwolf: Glad you're enjoying the stories! I too was reminded of my Tunisia game, inevitably, so I checked quickly to see how it really compared. Well I've played to around 1534 and have 54% inflation, whereas with Tunisia at that time the figure was more like 95%. Not only that but at that stage I still had only three provinces (or rather I was back down to three...) No attempts on Zanzibar in this update, although I did start preparations.

zacharym87: Good luck with the eligible females, but I wouldn't put any bets on the Mogadishu football team at this stage. :D

Zenek B.: If all goes well, pretty soon these birds will be able to migrate without even leaving Mombasa! ;)

Troggle: Me, tease you? You've cut me to the quick! In any case, I'm glad you felt honoured. :D

The Gonzo: Hmm - that sounds like incitement to violence. Speaking of which, I could use some help from the Inflation BustAARs here - do they operate in East Africa at all?

Director: Diplomacy or the sword? That is the question. The trouble is, my relations with Kilwa are, understandably, around the -200 mark. That's a lot of bribery... :(

Draco Rexus: Thanks - glad you're enjoying it, but I hope you have your refreshments to hand for the next instalment...

Corruption: * sigh * OK, just don't let it happen again (for the next 300 years, right?) :D
 

Farquharson

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The Fifth Tale
The Cat who lived Upstairs

There was once a cat called Kimburu, Best Beloved, and he was a Somali, and he had exceptionally long hair and a prodigiously bushy tail. He lived in the wreckage of an old lobster pot, just upstairs from a comfortably apportioned fish crate. The fish crate belonged to a dog named Mbwa, who was not a Somali, and he did not have very long hair at all, and his tail was exceptionally short and stubby, but Kimburu the cat and Mbwa the dog got on very well and were the best of friends.

Kimburu the cat was a very kind and amiable creature, but there was just one fault that he had and that was his vanity. For he loved to strut up and down the harbour wall in front of the dhows and the fishing boats and show off his prodigiously long hair and his enormously bushy tail, and truly that cat was a sight to behold. And if ever anyone was heard to compliment him, and say such a thing as “Just look at that beautiful animal! His hair is so fine and long, and his tail is so thick and bushy!”, then Kimburu would just smile the tiniest of smiles, then he would sniff and say “I know.”



Here is a picture of Kimburu the cat standing on top of the harbour wall
You can see that his hair was very long and his tail was very bushy
and everyone who saw him up there thought he looked very grand​

Of course, Mbwa the dog did not really like to see his friend Kimburu strutting up and down the harbour wall like this, but he was a very patient creature, and he put the matter out of his mind. As for him, he also had just one fault and that was his terrible temper. It is true that he was patient, Best Beloved, but if ever his patience ran out - woe betide any creature that got on his bad side, for he could get into a terrible rage, and he had the most fearsome bark and an even more fearsome bite. But not many of his acquaintances ever saw him like that, and even fewer survived to tell the tale.

One day when Kimburu the cat had been out showing off on the harbour wall, and picking up titbits of fish from his admirers, and was just returning to his lobster pot for a well-earned afternoon nap, Mbwa the dog, who I have to say was not in a very good mood that day, remarked:

“My dear friend Kimburu, you do know, don’t you, that you are so terribly vain?”

“Ah!” replied Kimburu the cat, and unlike Mbwa he was in quite a good mood at that moment, “You think I walk up and down on the harbour wall because I am vain, but you are quite mistaken, Mbwa. You see, I am really only doing a favour to all those people working in the harbour, giving them the opportunity to look at such a beautiful creature as myself! Where would be the charity in staying here in my lobster pot all day?”

Now these words did not improve Mbwa’s mood in the slightest, of course, and he knew that if the conversation went on he might very well start to get quite annoyed, so all he said was “Hmph!” and he settled down in his fish crate to try to get some sleep.

But upstairs in the lobster pot Kimburu the cat, who was in an exceptionally good mood that day, was just warming to his subject.

“Oh, I know what it is!” he said. “I do believe you might be just a teensy weensy bit jealous, Mbwa, isn’t that the case? For it is plain for all to see that you have absolutely no good looks whatsoever, with all that short and scruffy hair all over you. It would be so nice if you looked as stunning as I do of course, but alas, that rare privilege has not been granted you.”

Now Mbwa really did not want to fall out with his friend Kimburu the cat, but he could not hold his tongue any longer.

“If you are so concerned for my good looks,” he said, “then why don’t you give me some of your wondrously long hair to put on, then I will assuredly be as beautiful as you are.”

“Ah well,” replied Kimburu, and he was truly in such a jovial mood that day, “I would do that, Mbwa, but I do not think it would work. You see, there is still that terribly ugly stumpy tail that you have. If only you had such a beautifully long and bushy tail as I have, then perhaps that would improve things of course. But alas, that rare privilege has not been granted you.”

And he sighed a contented sigh, and started to settle down to sleep. Now the patience of Mbwa was really starting to wear thin, for he was certainly in a foul mood that day, and he growled:

“Kimburu my friend, if you were really so worried about my looks, you would cut off half of your tail and give it to me, and then surely I would look just as beautiful as you do.”

Now Kimburu was getting drowsy, which is why he did not notice the growly voice that Mbwa had started to use, which he hardly ever used and certainly not to his friend Kimburu, and as he was drifting off to sleep he said lazily:

“Well I would do that, Mbwa, but I fear it would not work either. For at the end of the day, Mbwa, the truth of the matter is that you are just a big ugly dog, and I am a beautiful Somali cat, and there really is no way for us to do anything about it.”

Just then Kimburu the cat, who up until that moment had been in a most splendiferous mood that day, suddenly found his lobster pot being tipped over and Mbwa the dog, who was now quite in a rage, was snarling and snapping at him as he rolled out onto the ground. Then Kimburu suddenly realized that Mbwa’s voice had been growing gradually growlier, and that his patience, which although great was not limitless, had been growing gradually thinner, and he decided that it was time to run.

Now Kimburu the cat could certainly run, Best Beloved, and now he ran and he ran all the way down the street and right out of the town and through the fields and the palm groves, and into the dusty scrubland and out the other side and then he was running along in the desert. And all that way he was chased by Mbwa the dog, and he could certainly run as well, just as fast as Kimburu, and while he ran he snapped at Kimburu the cat, and every time he snapped he got a nice mouthful of Kimburu’s beautiful long hair.



Here is Mbwa the dog chasing Kimburu across the desert
Kimburu the cat is of course out of the picture to the left, just ahead of Mbwa
He is not so far ahead that he can avoid getting mouthfuls of his hair bitten off every few strides​

There never was such a chase as that one in all the land before or since, for Mbwa chased Kimburu across the desert all through the afternoon and into the evening, and by the time the sun was going down Kimburu had not one bit of his beautiful long hair left on him, and he was utterly exhausted. Just then he saw a foxhole under a sandbank and he dived into it and got stuck fast with his beautiful bushy tail hanging out. I do not need to tell you what happened next, for I am sure you will guess that Mbwa the dog caught up with him then, and he bit that beautiful bushy tail right off. Then he took some of the beautiful long hairs from it, and he tied it firmly onto his own tail.

Then Kimburu the cat, who had been such a beautiful cat in the morning, now cowered in that hole all bald and bare and scrawny-looking, and without the slightest trace of a tail, while Mbwa the dog turned round and headed back home. It was easy for him to find the way, for he just had to follow the trail of the mouthfuls of hair that he had bitten from Kimburu, and as he went he picked them up and tied them into a great bundle.

By morning he was back in the village, and before he went to sleep he sewed that bundle of hair into a magnificent coat for himself, and he put it on and lay down in his fish crate, curled up and fell fast asleep. As for Kimburu the cat, he managed to get himself out of the foxhole, and he found his way back to the village as well, though it took him rather longer as the trail of hair had all disappeared. Then he felt rather hungry, so he got up on the harbour wall and strutted up and down a few times hoping for some fish from his admirers. But of course everyone just laughed at that scrawny old cat with no tail, and threw rotten vegetables at him, so he climbed down to the harbour edge and peered over at his reflection in the water.

Oh my, how that cat howled when he saw what had become of himself and his wondrous looks. And from that day on he went away to live on the edge of the town and ate from the rubbish heap. And Kimburu the cat and Mbwa the dog have been mortal enemies ever since. And at night you can still hear Kimburu the cat meowling when he remembers just what a beautiful cat he once was.


Game notes: 1493 - 1520

The next twenty years featured almost continuous war for Mombasa, which certainly livened things up! In the hopes of perhaps having a go at Zanzibar (the 31000 baboons, remember?) I had just started building up the Mombasa Navy, but then in 1495 Ethiopia declared war again. This war went pretty well for Mombasa, mainly because the Yemeni Alliance (Yemen, Oman, Gujarat and the Timurids) joined in the fun in 1497. By 1498 I had captured Harerge and Ogaden, and Ethiopia had had enough and sensibly handed over their small Sunni colony in Ogaden for peace. Three years later Yemen took Afars from them for peace.

Of course now my empire contained a non-adjacent province. Time to annex the Moggies and join it up! This could have been done diplomatically, except that they sent me a diplomatic insult with a two year CB in 1501. I then noticed that their previously huge armies were now fairly paltry, so I cancelled the military access I’d just got from them, banned them from the alliance and declared war in August 1502. Well, if you want to become a Big White Blob you have to take a few black marks... Strangely my stab went down by 4 at this point instead of just the 2 I expected (RM + same religion). I’ve noticed occasionally the AI “forgets” CBs - was this a case in point? I decided to fight on anyway rather than reload.

Well things started badly, with the Moggies taking Ogaden and beating my proud navy back to port. However by February 1503 I had taken their capital Mogadiscio and moved on to Mudugh (do I really want a province with a name like that, I wondered). Things continued in this fashion until by September 1505 I controlled all three of their provinces and was busy retaking Ogaden. At this point they helpfully offered to hand over Mudugh (OK, I’ll take it) and Somalia, with 25 ducats thrown in. I quickly accepted. Just one problem - Ogaden, Mudugh and Somalia are still separated from the rest of my empire...

Then just two months later Ethiopia declared war yet again - and this one dragged on for nine long years! The fighting along the Ethiopian border raged back and forth, then in 1507 Kilwa unexpectedly declared war on me. This turned out to be a total non-event in itself - the baboons never appeared on the mainland - but they did create an alliance with Mogadishu in 1508, bringing them against me as well. If only I could get the Ethiopians out of my hair, this would be the perfect chance to capture and annex Mogadiscio province and join up the two parts of my empire.

In the middle of it all I got another corruption event, requiring another loan - bleagh! Various Sunni alliances had been urging me to join them since my break with the Moggies, but I’d held out. In 1512 I finally agreed to join the Yemeni Alliance - now just Yemen and Khorasan, plus me now. That took me into a war with distant Persia.

Finally in 1513 I managed to capture and annex Mogadishu - all that remained was to end the war with Ethiopia. The following year, in April 1514, the Yemeni Alliance declared war on Ethiopia, which was nice. This seemed to tip the balance, as Ethiopia finally agreed to hand over 50 ducats and end their nine-year-old war with me in September 1514. Khorasan had made peace with Persia the previous year, so that only left the war with Kilwa, which I must confess I’d completely forgotten about, until we signed a white peace in 1516. So there was peace at last in war-torn Mombasa.

Incidentally although stability was a problem for me throughout this war revolts were not - I got only two in nine years! I think I like 1.08 from that point of view. I don’t think I mentioned (in fact I didn’t notice myself for a while) that the Ethiopians had managed to convert Malindi to Orthodox in their short occupation, the blighters! Malindi was one of the two revolts, but since Ethiopia were currently sieging it, that one wasn’t actually a problem!

In 1520 I got another nice Gift to the State of 200 ducats and decided to pause for reflection on how to spend it. Here’s the 1520 map:


OK, so it’s not exactly blob-shaped, but it’s still quite big...​
 

Rythin

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Ethiopia is blob-shaped. Don't let them be better than you! :)
 

Machiavellian

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Rhythin is right, Ethiopia IS blob shaped. Could it be that Mombasa's true enemy is the great brown blob?!