• Crusader Kings III Available Now!

    The realm rejoices as Paradox Interactive announces the launch of Crusader Kings III, the latest entry in the publisher’s grand strategy role-playing game franchise. Advisors may now jockey for positions of influence and adversaries should save their schemes for another day, because on this day Crusader Kings III can be purchased on Steam, the Paradox Store, and other major online retailers.


    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

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Maku the crazed blue-arsed Mandril wants you to kick Malindi out of your alliance and than squish them between you and Mogadishu! I mean really what else can you do? It'll take you another 50 years to be able to do anything at all about Kilwa. Your only other alternative is trying to save up enough cash to slowly convert your inland trading posts into colonies to raise income and troop support. Actually this might be a good plan since the Portugese (or anyone else for that matter) won't be able to burn them down then, but hey I'm just a crazed Mandril what would I know......
 

CatKnight

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The zebra looked up to the sky and frowned. "He's here."

"Who's here?" asked the lion lazily.

"That bloody bird. Well, I'm not taking the fall!"

"What fall!?"

"I was only the bookie."

"BOOKIE!??"

The zebra ignored him. "Hey, bird!" he called. "Your bet was actually with Maku the Mandril! He's over there plotting against the hyena!"
 

Director

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Look out, world - Farquharson is back and this time he's loose in Africa!

This is sort of a western-African version of the Jungle Book, isn't it? That's meant as a compliment; Kipling is one of my favorite authors. Witty writing... I had more than a couple of chuckles out of that last chapter. I admire your taking on a cause like Mombasa. Here's hoping the Europeans leave you alone.

The only game suggestion I can make is to war on your neighbors and extort money (and territory if you can get it) from them. As far as taking Zanzibar... once the AI builds troops they don't ever go away. Diplo-annexation may be your only hope.
 

Blackthorne

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Actually, IIRC, this is an actual story in Just So Stories, which is Kipling's book about Africa. Lots about "The Muddy Limpopo River". As for the AAR, this is really cool. East Africa is probably the weirdest place for this that I can think of.
 

Farquharson

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OK Troggle, post without update coming up! :p I've played twenty more years and I'm halfway through the next story (what else do you do on the Pentecost holiday?), but I thought I would reply to all these wonderful posts tonight.

The Gonzo: How I would love to take Zanzibar, but as others have so aptly pointed out, it's not going to happen soon... :(

TheBee: well, thanks for the vote of confidence. I hope my efforts to make Mombasa an interesting read are satisfactory!

Troggle: The trouble with moving north is that those countries are all my allies!

Zenek K.: You're right - in fact all Kilwa would have to do is ship half their army over to the mainland piecemeal during a truce and I'd be finished! But apparently the AI has difficulty with such a complex operation...

Machiavellian: Thanks! Highest praise indeed - the difficulty with writing such mini-stories is making the plot unpredictable! Oh, and yes, one Machiavellian Reptile now on the back-burner! :D

CatKnight: :rofl: This is great! The AAR with entertainments between the updates!

zacharym87: And there's more! In fact you started me off with the inspiration for the next story, although the birds ended up not being migratory ones.

Maku the Mandril: Some may say you sound like you're talking through the blue part, but there maybe wisdom in there somewhere... :D

Director: Ah, now, a Kipling fan has appeared. Suddenly the stakes are raised! :eek: Seriously though, I love Kipling too, and will read the Just So Stories to my kids at the slightest provocation. I tend to agree with you about Zanzibar. Like Genoa in my Provence game, what can't be won by war will just have to be won by... oh no! They don't have pizza in Mombasa! :eek:

Blackthorne: The style is from the Just So Stories (which are set in Africa as well as other far-flung parts of the world), but the story is original (well, that's one word to describe it... :D ) As for the setting, I know people traditionally only play obscure African countries in order to conquer the world by 1690 and suchlike - this AAR will break the mould!

Thanks to all for reading and posting! :)
 

Semi-Lobster

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This reminds me when I was little I used to read stories of Anansi the spider! :)
 

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Gosh, you AARs just keep getting better, Farquharson.

I'm a first-time poster on these boards, but I've been reading your AARs since halfway through your Provence one.

I'll be reading this AAR closely, espesialy because I'm playing an Ethiopinan game, so I may get some ideas from you.
 

unmerged(28992)

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May 11, 2004
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Maku the Mandrill's revenge!!! Ohh scary....

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Sorry about that I'm just trying to squeeze out a big 'nugget of wisdom' for you Farquharson :D Damn it I was just about to go home when I spied an update... only to be taunted with a non-update-update :) Nevermind I'm sure I can waste just as much time at work tonight floating around the forum
 

Zenek K.

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MadMage said:
Gosh, you AARs just keep getting better, Farquharson.

I'm a first-time poster on these boards, but I've been reading your AARs since halfway through your Provence one.
What's going on? Everyone seems to be stuck in the middle of Provence AAR :) I haven't completed it neither.
And welcome to the forum :)
 

unmerged(19936)

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Farquharson said:
OK Troggle, post without update coming up! :p I've played twenty more years and I'm halfway through the next story (what else do you do on the Pentecost holiday?), but I thought I would reply to all these wonderful posts tonight...
[lament] Why must you torment me so![/lament]

Farquharson said:
Troggle: The trouble with moving north is that those countries are all my allies!
You're just going to have to do something about that unfortunate situation :cool:

Farquharson said:
Thanks to all for reading and posting! :)
You're welcome.



P.S. Welcome to the boards, MadMage :)
 

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Here's another Kipling fan reporting in! The Just So stories have been favorites in my family since I was born, and probably before that. I encourage you to keep up the format, especially the "Best Beloved" phrases and all those nice things. You even got the style of the captions right. :)

Big White Mombasa Blob? Owning the entire dark continent? Number 1 in VP? :eek::eek::eek: Well, you set yourself a high standard, both for gameplay and storytelling. Now go to work. ;)

As for Zanzibar ... that's going to be difficult. No way you'll be able to diplovassalize Kilwa because the COT makes them look stronger than you. And you can't force vassalize if you can't conquer Zanzibar in the first place. Well, attacking the island stronghold will be difficult, but I think it can be done. The island is cavalry terrain, right? And Kilwa's force is sure to be all or almost all infantry. So you attack with, say, 15K cavalry and have another 7-8K in reserve. All you have to do is break the enemy's morale and their whole army will vanish. Try to time the landing so your troops arrive on the island just after the first of the month, so attrition won't hit right away. IMHO Zanzibar is important enough that it would be worth taking one or two loans just to get it. Besides, that's where you need to go to find out what the Machiavellian Crocodile has for dinner. ;)
 

Farquharson

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Semi-Lobster: Anansi the spider, eh? Hmm - well there's an idea... ;)

MadMage: Aha! Another lurker lured out! :p Welcome to the forum, and good luck with Ethiopia. As you'll see, I'm about to meet them myself...

Maku the Floating Mandril: Er... thanks. :eek:

Zenek K.: What do you mean you haven't finished the Provence AAR yet? Stay in after school and finish! :p

Troggle: It's my mean streak - but there is an update tonight. Unless I just decide to wait till tomorrow, for fun, you know? :D

The Gonzo: On second thoughts, let's just have the update tonight... :rolleyes:

jwolf: Well, thanks, I'm glad someone else can appreciate my efforts to the full! ;) Now, about those "dreams" - I never made any promises, remember! And thanks for the words of wisdom on Zanzibar. It may yet come to this kind of attack, so I will bear your advice in mind!

Now, should I post that update tonight or not...? :D
 

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LevePalestinaKrossaSionis men
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Farquharson said:
Semi-Lobster:
The Gonzo: On second thoughts, let's just have the update tonight... :rolleyes:

Now, should I post that update tonight or not...? :D
Excellent! It worked!

And we all know the Awnser...
 

Farquharson

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Game notes: 1435 - 1455

How do you expand when your only enemy has 31000 troops on an island and you have only two ships? Answer - make some other enemies! I got a nice diplomatic insult from Malindi in September 1435 and promptly banned them from my alliance - which now consisted of just Mombasa and Mogadishu. Then I started recruiting. I’d been saving for tax collectors so I had some cash. Malindi helpfully did the dirty work and declared war in December. They then formed an alliance with Kilwa and Adal (another coastal nation up past Mogadishu), but I took Kenya province and their trading post in Tana and they handed over Kenya for peace in 1439.

As soon as the truce ran out in 1444, Adal declared war on Mogadishu, so once again Mombasa and Mogadishu were lined up against Adal, Malindi and Kilwa. Malindi bought their way out the following year, but then in 1446 they and Kilwa dishonoured the alliance when Ethiopia attacked Adal. Malindi then rejoined the alliance, bringing them back into the war. I grabbed Tana, Ethiopia took their capital Malindi, and annexed them, leaving me with what I wanted - the trading post in Tana.

Then came trouble in May 1448 - a treacherous noble was arrested. Hanging him and seizing his assets gave me the worst consequences, but also a hundred ducats cash - what should I do?

The Third Tale
The Very Greedy Vulture

Once upon a time, in the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains, Best Beloved, there lived a vulture whose name was Tumbusi, and he was most certainly the wealthiest vulture in all of Africa. He kept all his money in a cave in a cliff at the top of a high peak in the very midst of the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains. Lots of people knew that Tumbusi the vulture was very wealthy, but no-one knew just how much money he had hidden away in the dark depths of his cave except his three brothers, whose names were Bakua, Chakua and Takua, but because their greedy brother never gave them anything, they didn’t like him very much.

But where did Tumbusi the vulture get all his ill-gotten gold, you must be wondering, Best Beloved, for I do not need to tell you that every penny of that gold was certainly ill-gotten. The answer is that he got it from the men who lived in the man village at the foot of the mountains. For Tumbusi the vulture would watch out from the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains, until he saw Simba the lion out a-hunting in the plains. And when he saw that Simba the lion was going to get himself a nice fat zebra or antelope or wildebeest, he flew as swift as the wind to the man village, and he told them exactly where Simba the lion was out a-hunting.



This is Simba the lion when he was out a-hunting in the plains.
He was watching very closely to choose his dinner so he did not notice that Tumbusi the vulture was flying
swift as the wind to the man village​

Then the men gave Tumbusi the vulture a fine payment of gold and then off they went, all of them together with their spears and their knives and their burning sticks, to find Simba the lion, and they waited until he had killed his prey. Then they all rushed at him and chased him away, and they took the fat zebra or antelope or wildebeest that he had killed so nicely, and they brought it back to their village and cooked the meat over a huge fire and had a great feast and drummed and danced until morning. And Simba the lion could only watch from the shadows and wonder how they always knew to come and chase him away just at the right moment.

One day Simba the lion had caught a nice tasty gazelle, and for once the men had not come, for Tumbusi the vulture was sitting in the dark depths of his cave and he was too busy counting his gold to notice that Simba was out a-hunting, and Simba had had a delicious meal and was just lying down for his after-dinner nap on a grassy mound nearby. Then who should come along but Tumbusi the vulture’s three brothers, Bakua, Chakua and Takua, for there was nothing those three liked better than the leftovers from one of Simba the lion’s delicious meals.

“Oh look,” said Bakua, “Simba the lion has been by and has caught himself a nice tasty gazelle!”

“And look,” continued Chakua, “he has so very kindly left some for us! He really is such a gentleman that Simba the lion!”

“And for once,” added Takua, who had the unfortunate habit of always saying too much, “our greedy brother Tumbusi has not been up to his usual tricks, telling those men where to come and chase that poor Simba away before he has had so much as the starter for his tasty meal.”

Now Simba the lion was lying on the grassy mound, quite hidden in the long grass, and he had his eyes closed, but he still had his ears open, and when he heard Takua’s words (and Takua was the one who always said more than was good for him) he opened first one eye and then the other, and he forgot all about his after-dinner nap. Instead he spoke up, very gently so as not to alarm those three brothers:

“Ahem!” he said, clearing his throat, and trying to make it sound polite and not too much like a deep and throaty growl. “Ahem, excuse me gentlemen, but I couldn’t help overhearing you as you prepared to tuck in to the leftovers of that delicious meal which I have just enjoyed.”

Bakua, Chakua and Takua, looked around them in fright, for they knew that deep and throaty growl, no matter how polite Simba the lion tried to make it sound. And they fluttered and leapt and then they saw Simba lying on his grassy mound.



This is a picture of Bakua, Chakua and Takua, Best Beloved.
They have just heard Simba the lion trying to sound as polite as possible,
and they are looking around to see where that deep and throaty voice is coming from
Bakua is sitting on top of the leftovers of Simba’s dinner, Chakua is on the left and Takua is in the middle​

“I do believe,” said Simba the lion, “that you have just let me in on the secret of why those oh-so-miserably-interfering men from the man village always seem to know just where to come when I have prepared myself a tasty meal and am about to settle down to enjoy it.”

“Do you see that?” whispered Bakua to his brother Takua. “Haven’t we always told you that you always say too much?”

But at that moment Simba the lion leapt from his grassy mound and he landed right on top of Takua, to the great alarm of his brothers, who nearly jumped out of their feathers. But Simba did not eat Takua right there and then, for he had just had a very delicious meal, and anyway it was not Takua he wanted but Tumbusi the traitor, who had been selling Simba’s meals to the man village.

“Now then,” said Simba the lion in his polite but very throaty growl, “I would very much like it if you two kind birds would be good enough to go and fetch this brother of yours. And I will wait here with this one, who I assure you will come to no harm as long as your are quick, for I know that you vultures can fly as swift as the wind if you wish to!”

Then Bakua and Chakua hopped and jumped and fluttered and off they flew into the air. And of course they could see that they were going to lose a brother whatever they did, and it didn’t take long for them to decide they would rather lose the one with the mountain of gold hidden away in a dark cave in the mountains, who never gave them anything, than lose the one who always said too much.

And so they flew up into the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains, and they came to Tumbusi’s cave and they shouted in:

“Quick, quick, Tumbusi! Simba the lion is out a-hunting in the plains!”



Here is a picture of the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains.
I think that Tumbusi’s cave was away in the distance, in the middle of that especially high and misty part.​

And Tumbusi, who really was a very greedy vulture, flew out of his cave with a great flapping of his wings, shouting “Where? Where?”, and his two brothers flew with him, swift as the wind back to the plains where Simba the lion was still sitting on Takua, who by this time was getting rather uncomfortable in this position.

“Oh dear,” said Tumbusi as they approached the place, circling gently in the breeze, “Look! I think we are too late. Simba the lion has already finished his meal.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” replied Chakua, “but I have no doubt he will have left some for us - let’s go and see.”

So they fluttered and flapped and tumbled down from the sky to land beside the leftovers of Simba’s delicious meal, and then Simba, who had been keeping ever so still and quiet in the long grass leapt out and landed on top of Tumbusi, and now it was him who was in an extremely uncomfortable position. Bakua, Chakua and Takua leapt away to a safe distance, and I don’t mind telling you, Best Beloved, that Takua was ever-so-much relieved to be out from underneath Simba.

“And now,” said Simba in his deep and throaty growl, and I’m afraid he didn’t sound at all polite this time, “Now we are going to decide what to do with a treacherous vulture who sells my meals to the man village. Do you have anything to say for yourself, Tumbusi, you very wicked vulture?”

There was a strange, muffled squawking noise from underneath Simba, and when the lion had adjusted his position slightly the noise was repeated, a little more clearly:

“S- so-.. sorry, Your Majesty!” stuttered Tumbusi, trembling from his beak to his tail feathers.

“I’m glad to hear it,” said Simba the lion, “but the punishment for such treachery is death.”

And without so much as batting an eyelid, that terrible lion broke Tumbusi’s neck and threw him aside in a lifeless heap. Bakua, Chakua and Takua were very shocked to see their brother come to such a miserable end, but they were not really sorry to see him go.

“Well,” said Bakua, a little nervously, “I think we’ll just be on our way, Bwana Simba, sir. We’re not really hungry any more, are we, lads?”

“Not me,” said Chakua, “and besides we have some urgent business up in the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains, don’t we lads?”

“If you’re talking about Tumbusi’s gold,” said Simba the lion in his deep and throaty growl, which had become ever so polite once again, “you needn’t trouble yourselves. The gold of course belongs to me, as payment for all those dinners the people of the man village stole from me, and my good friend Kapungu the eagle has already gone to recover it for me.”

“But... but...” stuttered Bakua, “how did you know about that gold?”

Then Bakua and Chakua slowly turned to look at Takua, who always said too much, but who seemed to have gone very quiet of late.

“I... I was just making polite conversation while we waited for you to come back,” squeaked Takua.

And those two brothers of that all-too-talkativeTakua’s then flew into a rage, and they fell upon him and gave him such a beating that he remembered it for the rest of his life, though he never ever learned to keep quiet when he should. And when Bakua and Chakua had finished beating Takua, all three of them flew to Tumbusi’s dark cave in the high and misty crags of the Nguru Mountains, and of course they found it quite empty.

Simba the lion found himself quite rich, but he also found himself with three angry vultures who hated him from that day on, and gave him no end of trouble. For many a time when Simba the lion went out a-hunting in the plains, those three brothers came and circled about, and they did it not so much because they wanted to tuck in to the leftovers of Simba’s dinner, but because they knew the men from the man village would see them, which they usually did. Then those oh-so-miserably-interfering men would come and chase Simba the lion away just as they had always done, and take his dinner and roast it over a huge fire and then they would drum and dance till morning. And Simba the lion would sit and watch from the shadows, and listen to his own empty stomach rumbling and grumbling inside him.


Game notes (continued)

Well, I couldn’t resist! I took the cash, which brought an immediate revolt in Tanga, and I was unable to recruit fast enough to save it from falling in October. The rebels then marched north and arrived in Mombasa just as another revolt took that province. I ended up having to recruit 1000 infantry at a time down in Lindi and bring them north, but by 1452 I had the two rebel provinces back - phew! But I think it had cost me more than 100 ducats to raise all those troops...

Meanwhile I was still at war with Kilwa and Adal, so my now respectably-sized army (7000 - don’t laugh!) joined the 2000 Mogadishu troops standing around in Rufiji, capturing the city for Mogadishu in 1453. Adal then ended the war at last in January 1455 by paying us 78 ducats. This put another 39 ducats in the Mombasa treasury, on top of the 75 ducats proceeds from a monopoly company in 1452. With tax collectors now in all my provinces - hey, I’m getting positively rich! :cool:



The White Blob in 1455​

VPs: 74 (#42 - would be a lot higher if I hadn’t been offered the chance of commissioning a Great Mosque in 1442 and lost 20 VPs by not doing so :mad: )
Monthly income: 4.3
Annual bonus: about 10
Inflation: 14.7%
Bad boy: 0.6 (ie, good boy, in fact!)
 
Last edited:

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LevePalestinaKrossaSionis men
Dec 13, 2003
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Lucky there with the Diplomatic Insult...
 

unmerged(19936)

Canadian Bacon
Sep 22, 2003
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www.homestarrunner.com
Greg45 said:
Wow! What a turn of events :) It seems that you had to sweat through that last part of the game, but you came out alright. One question. Aren't the Europeans trying to colonize all around you?
It's a little soon for that...

Can we see a map farther north, the Ethiopia/Adal area, or is it all whited out except for capitals? And for that matter, what exactly can you see?
 
May 30, 2004
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The exiled Sultan of Swing pushed his cart through the dry African bush. He stopped and looked up:

"What's this? A Farquharson AAR?"

*Deep in thought he tries to remember an ancient proverb*

"Farquharson + Swahili animal tales = Another Superb AAR. I'll have to stick around for this..."
 

CatKnight

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"And that of course is how I got my money," the lion told the zebra comfortably as they lounged on their eighty-foot yacht in the Indian Ocean. Actually, it was only eighty lion cub's feet - maybe, and 'yacht' was a pleasantry for 'rowboat', but it seemed to answer. It'd taken them off that miserable Zanzibar Island with its 31,000 screaming baboons. He sipped at his lime juice with the little umbrella in it.

"Quite right old chap." The zebra had taken to wearing a monacle since his lion friend became rich, and indeed his accent was new as well. Indeed, he was a changed zebra since he finally got his tea. "I must say it was upright of you to pay that bird on my behalf. I am in your debt, sir."

"Oh, don't worry 'bout it." The lion yawned. "After Malindi fell I didn't know how we were gonna get that mandril to pay. Best if we just take care of business now."

"Hear him!"

"You have to admit, the big white blob is getting impressive."

"Austria? I can't say I've noticed, old bean."

"Please don't call me that."

"As you wish."

"Anyway, I meant Mombasa."

"Indeed, though I see storm clouds on the horizon, I'm afraid."

"For them? Why now?"

"No, for us. Look!"

The lion looked over, and saw a monsoon :eek: :mad:

"In that, I heartily concur..." :rofl: