CF,
Agreed on all points, and I think that's probably how it'll be apart from the Dago-Drake situation. If I'd been thinking clearly, I would've put the on opposite ends of the continent. My hope, though, is that they'll get serious-they are without question the most natural enemies in the setup as it's developed.
Another interesting point about our wars is that, although costly considering they were both real and fought early, neither of us demanded more than Sochi. I was certainly in a position to demand more, and you probably were too (I destroyed a fair portion of your armies, so I'm not sure what shape you were in but if I had to bet). That kind of limited warfare for one specific plot of territory can still be enjoyable without shifting the balance overmuch, and at least right now, my manpower/wealth advantages are balanced out by your significantly better morale and edge in leadership.
I hope that'll be the trend. Or, at least, that as we develop the major powers will fight for Standards rather than provinces the majority of the time. If York were to take a large number of provinces on the continent right now, that wouldn't do more than establish a new (in my mind, better) balance. If Byzantium did the same thing, taking five or six provinces from Milan in one go, that'd be a different story. Especially if there were two wars of that kind.
But I think everybody with the Standard program, so I suspect your advice will be followed.
I certainly don't intend to fight against Kazan constantly, and I imagine there are future circumstances in which our cooperation would be called for, just as there are circumstances (existing naturally right now, I believe) in which Milan and the Barbarians would be called upon to fight each other. And York and the Barbarians might have reason to ally, or the Emperor and the Barbarians, etc.