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Fun and hilarity from my new game - getting a Merchant Republic up and running in Connachta. Which is obviously taking a bit.

First off, in Africa...

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A Caliphate named "Pretender's" with no holdings anywhere, currently waging war against the Umayaads.

Meanwhile, in West Francia...

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A Waldensian revolt succeeded. He waged a Holy War for more territory and lost, but as of 778 he's still there and independent.
 
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The Karlings really screwed up. Some interesting points:

- Charlie got kicked out of power at some point and his second son was put up in place, leaving him a duke with a bit of land. The second son's nickname was 'the Black', but he died because his wife was a Slavic god-worshiper and hated him with a passion.

-Carloman ruled peacefully for a while and died of old age, at the age of fifty. His nickname was 'the Spider', and he's the one with the brilliant idea to set up shop in tribal Denmark, for whatever reason. He had one son that died of generic illness, so the titles went back to Charlie's branch of the family.

- Pepin got legitimatized at some point, and has a Quick son who isn't a hunchback. The other living adult son of Charlie has the Norse culture, which puts a rough timeframe as to when the Father Of Europe turned Viking.

The All-Father of Europe.
 
I don't know if it's that weird, but I've never seen such fertile guys with so many children around 46
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oh and he's got lover's pox too, making him more unattractive
 
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I have a few of them, all from my current Irish run (started from Charlemagne start):

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I always thought that this was a German epos, not a Greek one!


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I don't even know what to say about this one...


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No, I don't think so. I don't think so at all...


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I don't understand all the Regency hate! With a little bribe for your regent you can basically fight anybody and anything easily. I managed to make three childrens "the Great" by now, including one women at age 10. But the best of them is this little fella:

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Won a Crusade at age 4. Okay, most of the Crusade was fought by his dad, but still.
 
Maybe this isn't so strange but I love how the nickname lines up so well with the title:
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The Seducer of Man
 
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Where the hell are these troops going? This guy is fighting a defensive war. Against a rebellion.

And he's got 3300 troops between Novgorod and Moscow (can't remember what territory that is). And they're walking north...
 
Oh Karl, I expected a better showing out of you, man.

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Rebellions, Rebellions, and more Rebellions. As if Allmannia, Anjou, Franconia, and whatever Light Blue is down there, you went ahead and let the Lollards have Naoned.

The Lollards, Karl.

Yes, they're getting Holy Warred into oblivion by the Bretons and Anjou, but come on man. Bad enough that Waldenstan county has lasted long enough to infect its neighbor.

Defender of Christiandom, indeed.
 
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My religion map doesn't look quite as bad as yours... but I've got a pretty crazy Europe:

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First, Charlemagne's realm was split among his 3 daughters. Then his eldest, who inherited West Francia and Burgundy, died and these two kingdoms were given to two of her 3 Pictish daughters, so France and Burgundy are ruled by Pictish queens, while Middle Francia and Aquitaine are ruled by their Karling aunts.

France just lost a prepared invasion to Svipjod.

A revolt just started in Burgundy.

The revolt in Aquitaine has been going on for quite some time, and will probably win. The east part of Aquitaine is ripe for an independence revolt.

Middle Francia just won a revolt that started quite some time ago.


Meanwhile... look how big Ruthenia has grown... and look at Saxony over there...


Watch the chaos ensue as catholic moral authority plummets!
 
So in my game where I'm playing as the Viking Scandinavia on Ironman(!?) weird things happened. So Charles the Great inherited his brother, then Charles died at some point and all the kingdoms were divided. West Francia somehow became Sunni Muslim. Then it went to a Female count trough a small crusade. The female had a muslim heir. West Francia Muslim again. And then years later a Crusade for France and Teutonic Order gets West Francia. But the Muslims still live on! And I'm now so screwed.

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cardinal patriarch.png So I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but it did. A catholic cardinal who also happens to be the head of the orthodox faith. That's not even the weirdest of it.pope emperor.png This is his father, the first head of the Byzatine Theocracy, which was catholic. His son (the catholic patriarch) was the last to lead the theocracy of Byzantium thanks to my meddling by pressing my nephew's claim which turned the Byzantine Empire back into a gavelkind monarchy. So somehow, the ERE went catholic, became a theocracy, and the head of the Orthodox faith is a catholic cardinal.
 
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Where the hell are these troops going? This guy is fighting a defensive war. Against a rebellion.

And he's got 3300 troops between Novgorod and Moscow (can't remember what territory that is). And they're walking north...

As a follow-up, this guy ended up forming the empire of Carpathia. I don't think I've ever seen that form before (probably just not paying attention). Kind of amazing to think 3300 of his troops have been wandering aimlessly in the frozen north and their liege still manages to form an empire...

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Don't over exaggerate she isn't looking that bad
And hey we only see the portrait here
There is more to the woman then her Face ;).
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Much more, it seems :p
 
So after two cheating wives, my wife gives me a son, then she's pregnant, but my guy is so paranoid about it, he can't believe its his.

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She has a dwarf, and dies of 'natural causes', shocked it wasn't childbirth.. And the worst part? Entirely his. 100%. I've gone full Lannister.
 
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So after two cheating wives, my wife gives me a son, then she's pregnant, but my guy is so paranoid about it, he can't believe its his.

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She has a dwarf, and dies of 'natural causes', shocked it wasn't childbirth.. And the worst part? Entirely his. 100%. I've gone full Lannister.

I'd love to put gone full Lannister in a quote list. Is that alright?

Also if there's anything I've learned from the last week it's that the game goes crazy when it's broken.
 
I'd love to put gone full Lannister in a quote list. Is that alright?

Also if there's anything I've learned from the last week it's that the game goes crazy when it's broken.

Haha, that's fine. The funniest thing? The dwarf daughter is -amazing-, martial, cunning, cynical.. She -is- Tyrion. xD
 
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Haha, that's fine. The funniest thing? The dwarf daughter is -amazing-, martial, cunning, cynical.. She -is- Tyrion. xD

I honestly want to see that.

*Sigh. I knew I still had some...

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This is mostly strange to me. How did she get married to one of my then brothers (who was a count at that point, so he didn't go on some adventure and find her), in 2.0.4, with nothing to really credit her as far as I can see?

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Don't you hate it when Robin Hood shows up for your vassal and you never hear about it until he dies? Must have ran from elsewhere though (Might have been Dutch Marrakech.:sad:

(Course he was later arrested, for reasons I don't know)