The whole sequence of events was a comedy of errors, to be honest.
"I, the Sheikh of Jerusalem, stand up to the tyranny of the Ikhshidids! I rebel! Wait, who are you?"
"I, Alphonse Karling, am here with the Children's Crusade, come to return Jerusalem to Christendom!"
"Ah, there are too many children! I am defeated!"
"I declare myself King of Jerusalem!"
"Salaam, kid. I represent the Sultan of Antioch. Nice kingdom you got here. It would be a shame if something happened to it."
"You can't have it! The Lord is by my side!"
"Oh, no, you can keep your Christian kingdom. I simply welcome you and promise to keep you safe. For a fee."
Meanwhile, in Rome:
"The success of the Children's Crusade is a sign from God! Let us crusade for all the Holy Land! Wait, who are you?"
"Salaam, kid. I represent the Sultan of Antioch. Nice big gold cross you got there. We'll keep that in Antioch for security."
"Dare not you resist the power of The Lord!"
"Oh, no, have at it. Go ahead, fight the Ikhshidids."
"Very well. Wait, where are you taking that cross?"
Later...
"I hereby declare the entire Holy Land a part of Christendom! I award this land to..."
"I'm already King of Jerusalem."
"Um... Alphonse, King of Jerusalem! Wait, can i give the kingdom to someone who already had the kingdom?"
"I dunno, I'm just a kid."
"Wait, I'll make you King of Crusader Jerusalem, too, it'll be fine."
"Woohoo! Finally! Now I have the power to fight back against my Muslim suzerain!"
"Wait, you're a tributary to a Muslim?"
"Salaam, kids. I'm the Sultan of Antioch. Pony up."
"Jesus Christ, not that guy."
"I will reject your attempts to extort me! This ends here!"
"Extortion? No, it's hospitality. Me and my friends are going keep you safe and happy. Have you met my best friend? Wonderful little chap named Seljuk."
". . . I hate you."
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