I promised an update by the end of the month, and as the game will not be coming here in 15 minutes I shall have to make due with an introduction.
Bismarck had put all of his substantial wealth in to this scheme, and he prayed that it would work. His health was failing, and he would not likely live to see his 83rd birthday, not that it would matter with that idiot Wilhelm on the throne. His rule would bring the ruin of imperial Germany, he would.
That scientist, Plank, sure was taking a long time; Bismarck thought. “You are sure this device will be able to fix this mess the Kaiser has created?” asked Bismarck.
To this Planck replied “Of course it will! Now, just sit back and relax, and before you know it you will be in 1415, at the start of the great country of Brandenburg!”
“And this will be passed on to the succeeding kings, right?”
“Well, we can only hope,” said Planck, as he flipped on the machine.
Bismarck felt a great pain come in through the circlet on his head, getting all the way to his waist before he passed out.
When he awoke, he saw himself coming to a man on a great throne, and was appearing to be crowned. Bismarck was coming to this man awfully quickly, but according to what that quack Planck said, he would only be a spiritual entity and could only affect the world through manipulative control of a being; so Bismarck was not worried. His suspicions (or rather, lack of) proved to be founded, but when he got in the head he saw that there was very little in there. Bismarck continued to accelerate, and before he knew it, he had crashed into the very hard floor of the brain cavity of Elector Friedrich the first.
When he came to, he accessed the memory banks only to find out two startling things: he had been out cold for more than three years, and the elector of Brandenburg was attempting to drink his way through “One hundred bottles of beer on the wall”. By the time Bismarck had reached the place in his brain he needed to be to commandeer him, he had found out that the elector had passed out.
Earlier next morning, the elector was sober enough to get an aid and tell him, “I need the maps, as well as the budget”. The aide stared at him curiously. The elector said again “I need the maps, as well as the budget”.
The aide went outside, but Bismarck could still hear through the door: “He said to get the budget. It seems as if he actually wishes to start governing! Man, drinking his way through ‘One hundred bottles of beer on the wall’ can’t have been good for him.” A pause, “Wait, what do you mean all of the records in the palace were accidentally pissed on?” Another pause, “We will not be able to get accurate info until tomorrow! Well, there goes my life.”
The next day, a new aide came in holding a stack of papers.
Bismarck had the elector say “Well, spread them out!”
The aide replied “Well sir, unfortunately our first table manufacturer, Photobucket.com, has stopped giving out free desks for a while, so I have started a query as to were we can find a cheap photo storage site”
If this was the standard quality of aide, Bismarck thought, than the country will run out of able bodied men by the end of the year.
Observations:
USPS is slow.
