La douce France is ruled by a hardcase
Wait some more. (Gotta love Medias Res) The pope is one tough old bastard who just won’t die. Use a few shreds of Prestige and claim some minor titles. Then, suddenly without any warning, King Hoël kicks the bucket and becomes king Hole. (Bad pun) Herman is now King of France and a friggin’ minor! Two weeks later Young Herman resists his forced abdication and kills some dude in his court. Nothing much happens. I hold on to the personal demesne, even though the underage king can’t administrate them all. Two years later, nothing much has happened in between, some building and stuff. Hey, A Ruler is forced to abdicate event! Bye bye Spymaster! Six month later and A ruler is forced to abdicate event! Bye bye new spymaster. Ummm. Two Weeks later. Guess. It’s a pity Herman’s intrigue skill doesn’t rise because of this… Save and load, otherwise my court remains empty and I am down on courtiers. Interven in a vassal/liege conflict. That was fun! A crusade is called against Alexandria! Gee Whiz! I am 12 years old, what do you expect of lil’me?
More building. Intervene in another vassal liege thing. Let’s skip this. Herman is sixteen and becomes a fortune builder! Wheee!!! Now if his high martial brother turns out halfway decent, cool! Get married to some de jimenez girl with nice stats and a chance for little de Cornouialles to inherit Castile?Leon, if anything is left after the Sheikdom of Cordoba is finished with them.
Alexandria still hasn’t been conquered. This is good. I have been saving up for this! Ruler is forced to abdicate! There goes my marshal! Well, his brother may be ill and depressed, but he is bloody well going to lead the army! I go to Alexandria. The King of Fatimids is currently of fighting some Danish count. I don’t mind. I conquer Alexandria and various other places, all the way down to Nubia. I claim the title of King of Egypt. I go home. I use F12 to kill of a muslim in my court!
(this is the only cheat I allow myself, as I understand they were supposed to automatically convert to the religion of the court they join. If I am mistaken, I will stop doing it)
The ill, depressed marshal gets better! Hey, this is good. Ruler is forced to abdicate. Yet another spawned spymaster dies! The marshal looses his depression too! Groovy, 12 marshal skill! And he is of the family too! Come on little genes!
The adventure in Egypt has left my forces sadly depleted. Not to mention the treasury. I decide to hang back and relax for a couple of years. Aragon is about to fall to the Sheikdom of Niebla? I move in some troops, declare war. Then the King of England attacks the county of Vermandois. The duke of Champagne declares war on England, you get the drift. I am now at war with England. I have not a single claim on any English possession what so ever. Bummer. The war is long, bloody and unpleasant. I have ordered a grand mobilisation. Half my active troops, some 6000 men run around France protecting my domain. Some 5000 besiege various castles. I have another 5000 or so in reserve.I have too little Prestige too claim much, but I claim Arques. England’s nobles keep declaring war and then offer peace two days later, this happens the entire war through. I need help. The Pope dies. (The same one Hoël was waiting for…) I become papal controller. The new pope has 300+ piety and –19 prestige. He also has a very low intrigue skill. What’s his successor like? Q#$Q#$^&*!!! 265!! PRESTIGE!!! The pope dies, long live the pope! But I am discovered! Who cares, I still have plenty of piety and prestige. My reputation takes a hit. See above
The king of England gets excommunicated. Oh dear, I wonder what he did. I claim his entire demesne and his crown for less than I paid for Arques. God must love Herman. Ruler is force to abdicate. Didn’t you hear me? GOD LOVES HERMAN! The Pope says so! The pope calls for the peace of God. What? I give in. Heretic is a bad trait to have. Luckily Robert of England has no such compunctions. At least, we are still at war. I lose most of my army in France due to continous attacks. I raise my remaining vassals 5000 and go to war. My marshal dies! I name my brother marshal at age sixteen. The little so and so didn’t study and can barely hold a sword by the right end. A battle is fought. The marshal becomes valorous. He also catches something nasty from a camp follower. So far Herman only has daughters. And Alexander is the heir. Marry Alexander to a nice Byzantine girl in line for three, yes three, principalities! (I call that inbreeding!) She’s three years older, but who cares.
After capturing and recapturing Hampshire and Dorset for a while (several years) I finally take Robert’s last province and his demesne and Crown. My army has been just about decimated, my Egyptian provinces are in revolt, I have been paying through the nose to convert them. My reputation is very bad. My first born son has kicked the bucket, No children yet from Alexander. I feel a country cousin coming up… Hmmm. I am not yet thirty, plenty of time. I grant some titles and wait for the unrest to die down. Warwick declares war! Lancaster declares war! The newly created duchy of York declares war! What? You’re my mother! I make peace, without retaking a single title. I figure they will be back once my rep improves. I will post some screenshots, part three and the current date tonight. If anyone reads this before then: Any guesses as to the date?
Edit: Oh, and I took Urgell, the duchy of Spanish Marches and the title King of Aragon from the king of Aragon, leaving him nuthin'
