Savin, we've talked extensively about this sort of thing in another thread, but I do not know where I fit in, in the Realist-My Reality continuum, though I expect you would call me a "My Reality" player. I adjust, to the extent I feel it necessary, to win every game I play in, and do keep an eye on how that may effect my overall reputation, yet, except in a tournament environment, to me each game *is* a more or less independent event, since I do not play in forums which have rating systems. Some comments on your "My Reality" player class, from my personal perspective:
As far as grudges and taking things personally, it *is* only a game, and doing so, to my mind, tends to result in suboptimal play in future games. If someone wants to define purposefully playing in a suboptimal way as "stupid", I won't stop them. People who hold grudges can be annoying, but I feel more sorry for them than anything else. Besides, I know how they will play the next time I go up against them, if I do. Predictability, when it is someone else's, is something I can often take advantage of, even if it is predictable that they will not ally with me.
I know some people do hate playing particular countries, which seems a strange thing to me, but they can always play the other ones. Why, in any case, would anyone want to ban them?
I have been allied in one game, and simultaneously or in rapid succession someone's enemy/stabber/stab victim in another, on more than one occasion. For the most part, both parties have had a good laugh over it. But to win a game, sometimes (well, most of the time, in Dip) making enemies *in-game* cannot be avoided. One player I know has wiped the floor with me in each of the three games we have played, but that hasn't stopped me from being friendly with them. Both she and I realize that it could have gone the other way, but c'est la guerre. By the way, we are playing in another game together right now, and we're not fighting. Of course it is still early, she's Russia and I'm Italy, so things may change. LOL
I also agree that at times "public" diplomacy (small "d") can be very useful, for information, communications and as a propaganda tool, and how valuable disinformation can be. I have played pretty much all of my PBEM career in communities using one kind of public mail group/bulletin board or another.
I do try to avoid making out-game enemies and stay away from ad hominem attacks, but that is due as much to my own notions of civility as it is to any desire to improve my Dip reputation. Still, in any large group, some people will like each other, and others will not.