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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

iain_a_wilson

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001-1.jpg


Index

Introduction - Where we meet the ruling classes
Part 1 - The bit where some people get new coats of arms and Vesimir's wife carks it
Part 2 - When some Dukes are appointed, some pagans are slaughtered and Fookison thinks it's a good idea to rebel
Part 3 - Kaisermuffin annoys lots of people and there is much warring
Part 4 - The war begins! Oh, and Enewald dies...
Part 5 - The one where everyone kisses and makes up and then falls out again (I think this could be a reoccuring theme).
Part 6 - More betrayal, disloyalty with some heathen burning on the side!
Part 7 - Dutchie decides that War is Fun!
Part 8 - Lots of dead Finns and a bishop throwing a hissy fit.
Part 9 - The bit where everybody gets owned by the Mongols and the Swedes.

Extra Stuff

Map of AARLand circa 1337 - courtesy of Kazmir
Map of the County of Isengard - courtesy of Vesimir
Family Tree of AARLand circa 1347

---​

A long time ago, in a...no...wait...that's a different AAR <-blatent plug

Picture the scene...

It's 1321 at we're looking at a cold, stony keep in the far north of what will one day become Russia. To heighten the dramatic tension it's raining and blowing a gale. Thunder rolls and lightning flashes. A full moon rises in the sky (or whatever it is that moons do) and off to the left of the castle a solitary wolf raises his muzzle sky and howls. His call carries across the valley (despite the thunder - for a wolf he has brilliant projection) and is answered by a dozen of his pack mates. Just for good measure, and because it's not noisy enough already, there are owls hooting in the trees.

Lots of them.

So to recap - dark and stormy night, lots of vocal nocturnal creatures, full moon...

Those are "dire portents" for those of you not skilled in soothsaying.

The castle itself is in darkness, save for one window from which light blazes forth. This is the Royal bedchamber and at the moment it's awash with women and abuzz with activity...

...no...not that sort of activity you filthy-minded wastrel! Honestly! This is not that sort of story! If that's what you're after there's a whole big wide internet to be a-searching...

Where were we?

That's right. Royal bedchamber, loads of women, lots of activity. The king's pacing pensively as the aforementioned busy women buzz round his wife like frantic worker bees. She's screaming like a banshee, which is probably due to the fact that she's given birth to twenty children in a row and shows no sign of stopping. A lady-in-waiting mops the queen's fevered brow, as she gets ready for another almighty push. She tenses, starts to push and...

...actually, who am I kidding?

Forget the stupid "I'm-trying-to-justify-this" back-story (that's the above for those of you with REALLY low standards) - basically the premise here is "Wouldn't it be fun to take a bunch of people from AAR Land, plumb them into CK and run a short AAR documenting their humorous antics". Oh, and it's all consensual before anyone thinks I'm just swiping people off the forums at random!

RULES

1) Everyone's part of the same dynasty - Van Der Aarlander. Yes, it's made up.
2) All characters start at 15 years old. This is to allow education to fire.
3) All characters stats and some traits were determined prior to the game after consultation with the individual forum members. Gosh - that's a grand way of saying, "Pick a couple of things you're good at and some things you suck at." Traits gained through education (things like "Brilliant strategist", "crafty merchant" etc) will not be assigned at the start (despite some of you asking for them!) and will be determined through education.
4) Everyone will start of as a county of the Kingdom of AARland. For those interested it's located just north of...er...the Golden Horde... Show's how often I've played the 1337 scenario... Hopefully they'll be good neighbours! What? Stop looking at me like that!
5) The Kingdom of AARLand will have elective law because that makes for interesting games.
6) All characters are siblings. Yes, that's ridiculous, but what did you expect?
7) I start as King. That's because I'm writing it.
8) Everything else will be determined (or ignored) as the AAR develops.

Current dramatis personae

Me
Allmyjames
Vesimir
Murmurandus
Johan
Eamond
KaiserMuffin
Enewald (deceased)
Loki100
4th Dimension
canonized
morningSIDEr
praxiteles
morrell8
Hannibal X
Bingo Brett
Kanil
Kazmir
Fookison
Uriah
Eron12
Cunobelinus54
Coz1
Raaritsgozilla
Treppe
Alekson
FlyingDuchie
JDMS
Drak Rlugia
Kadvael
The Shepherd
Threedog (deceased)
Snaake
Cecasander
Tuore
 
Last edited:

Enewald

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Can I be firstborn as a first commenter? :rofl:
 

4th Dimension

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All characters stats and some traits were determined prior to the game after consultation with the individual forum members. Gosh - that's a grand way of saying, "Pick a couple of things you're good at and some things you suck at." Traits gained through education (things like "Brilliant strategist", "crafty merchant" etc) will not be assigned at the start (despite some of you asking for them!) and will be determined through education.

UPS! Didn't know that. Since I don't play Ck, I simply went trough the list of traits, and chose those that I thought would be interesting (in my case hunchback, vengeful).
 

Bingo Brett

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To be 15 again... No wait, I had a ponytail, acne, braces, glasses, and a New Kids on the Block Poster in my bedroom. *shudder* :wacko::eek:
 

iain_a_wilson

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To be 15 again... No wait, I had a ponytail, acne, braces, glasses, and a New Kids on the Block Poster in my bedroom. *shudder* :wacko::eek:

..and lo! He became "Bingo Brett 'The New Kid on the Block'"...
 

coz1

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Well, obviously I will end up being Coz I, Emperor of all AARland, but we do need to go through some of the motions so it doesn't look too suspicious. ;)

Great to see this started, Iain. Should be fun to see how it goes. :)
 

AllmyJames

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So we're all going to be Emperors? Great! ;)

Do we get to choose how we're educated? Court/Monastery/Army?

Since we're all going to be Slaves to the Great Khan soon anyway, I think we'd be better off arguing about who gets to be Cheif Eunuch!
 

Raaritsgozilla

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Yusss lets roll!
 

diskoerekto

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I am of course "the flatulent".
 

morningSIDEr

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Excellent stuff, looking forward to seeing how this pans out!
 

Raaritsgozilla

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Nice!

Is there any chance I could get my pic to look the same as Kanil... I want a sweet mostache!

Also, its pretty obvious I should get a Ducal title... I mean look, my coat of arms is 3 arrows... one per county. Ergo, 3 counties needed, so a Ducal title :D

Not only that but I am awesome, and have a semi Scot name ;););)
 

canonized

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OOhhh I'm so excited XD . Do you think we could get a snapshot of where our provinces are in relation to each other and any developments if any on our particular parcels ?
 

Kanil

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I've no hair! :(

That's okay, though. I should get a Ducal title. Look at me, I'm awesome. My marshal is awesome and thus I'll slaughter all of AARLand's enemies. When I get a new coat of arms. My current one is pathetic. A deer. People hunt deers, and kill them. You can't expect my troops to look upon my awesome mighty crappy assed deer and feel inspired. So I need a Ducal title so I can get a new coat of arms. Yeah. Plus, I currently have to style myself as Count of Kazmir. I'm the count of another man. That's just wrong. I need a Ducal title to rectify that.

Bingo doesn't deserve a ducal title though. Look at his facial hair, and his head. He's dyeing his hair blond. That's strange. You don't want strange dukes, do you?

Lastly, Van Der Aarlander is brilliant.
 

JDMS

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This should be . . . interesting. :)