- Nov 10, 2016
The Hosokawa Hootenanny
Hello! After reading many excellent AARs on this forum I decided to finally give it a shot. I used this Reddit thread to guide me along the way. It took a few restarts to get a good idea of how to conquer Japan that quickly, but eventually I figured it out and didn't mess up too much. I'm playing on Iron Man and just using a few cosmetic mods. I don't have much experience with formatting forum posts and whatnot, so it may be a little rugged to begin with.
Table of Contents:
1. The Hosokawa Hootenanny, you are here
2. Peace and Quiet
3. Maybe we should've stayed on the island
4. Everything's coming up Hosokawa
5. Speed 4
6. It's not much of a coup if the ruler isn't...couped
7. Enough talky-talky I wanna fight some Asians
8. A little coalition never hurt anyone
9. Where can I get one of those necklaces with the "t" on them
10. The one where everything goes great!
11. If you have to pee go now you won't miss anything
12. The one where everything goes terribly!
13. The sun sets
Without further ado, let's jump in!
Lord Hosokawa had a dream, a dream filled with beautiful women, delicious food, and overflowing cups of sake. And this suited him just fine for most of his reign, until a dream he had on November 11, 1444. In this dream, he was overthrowing the Shogun of Japan, and crowning himself ruler of a united Hosokawan Empire. Even in the middle of the dream he knew it to be one, he saw in disbelief as his humble territory expanded in size, crushing every other daimyo until finally taking down the Shogun himself. He also saw his people rise in rebellion, as he borrowed money from every possible source, to fund this impossible task. He woke up in a cold sweat, relieved that it had just been a dream…
But as he awoke, something seemed off. His army commanders were giving him reports of various battles against Usegi and Shiba, what were they talking about? Puzzled, the commanders reminded him that it was he that ordered these attacks in the first place, just the other night. Panicked, Katsumoto realized that it had not been a dream, something had caused him to forget almost all of the last 7 years (cough cough) of his life!
* I may have deleted the screenshots for this part, whoops
Lord Hosokawa quickly adapted to the situation, and realizing how economically invested his nation already was to this insane conquest, determined that the only outcomes to this grand plan were victory, or total annihilation. He sent envoys to Nanbu to arrange for their annexation into his lands. And reaffirmed himself as in control of his country once again (cough cough).
A year later, Katsumoto is feeling the weight of his decision constantly. The Shogun is sending messengers daily asking him to reconsider his decisions. Hosokawa knows that eventually the Shogun will tolerate his conquests no longer, and declare open war against him. He releases Takeda of their occupation, asking only money in return. This seems to stem the Shogun’s anger for now.
In fact, the Shogun seems more than willing to aid the daimyo with his rebellion problems!
It appears that the Shogun is more wise than was thought, and is actively trying to avoid confrontation with his daimyo.
The daimyo recognizes this brief moment of civility with the building of a fantastic garden in the Etchu (gesundheit) province.
Tragedy struck as his loyal wife passed away, who he apparently married during his foggy years. Lord Hosokawa pressed on.
Most of the other daimyos were now occupied, Katsumoto turned his gaze to Imagawa. Hsoskawa had vivid dreams of a mighty general leading Imagawa’s armies to victory, destroying Hosokawa. He was relieved to learn this general was just in his imagination, and the conquest of Imagawa went smoothly.
*I may have restarted this game a few times, don’t judge
The Shogun, in his eternal wisdom, still strives to prevent his island from falling to rebels, who are probably thinking something along the lines of “Seriously, dude, don’t you have bigger problems than us?” To which the Shogun replies “Nope.”
After finishing off the last few armies, and sieging the last few forts, Lord Hosokawa knew that it was time to turn against his master once and for all!
The first battle took place on the plains of Suruga, where the dismayed Shogun reluctantly faced his once-loyal subject. The Shogun’s troops outmatched the Daimyo's in discipline and tactics, but the dream of a united Japan pushed Hosokawa’s armies to victory.
The Shogun’s army fell apart, retreating to Awa, even while reports reached them of another rebellion taking place just to the west. Kyoto, the ancient capital, was under siege.
Hosokawa had to hurry, victory was in his grasp but so was defeat. His people were furious over this unprovoked conquest, demanding their independence once more.
It did not relieve the daimyo to learn this his heir was kind of a dick.
Eventually, however, the daimyo prevailed. The Shogun’s forces were scattered in the wind. All that was left was to take down any rebellions that rose up.
When he felt that the island was ready, Lord Hosokawa personally drove a 1000-folded Nippon steel katana into the gut of the Shogun, elevating himself to the position.
His territory now occupying more than just his ancestral homes, Shogun Hosokawa adopted the title Emperor of Japan. The island was now united, a once impossible dream had come to fruition in just 20 years!
Katsumoto breathed a sigh of relief, for the first time in 20 years, he was at peace.
The people are no longer marching against him, the island nation is ready to take on the world!
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