Chapter 2: Vérszerződés!
Part 1
I have never ceased to love [the Navy] and my enthusiasm for it has never faded. As Regent of Hungary, I was proud to wear my Admiral's uniform even after the Austro-Hungarian fleet had, to my undying grief, ceased to exist.
- Admiral Miklós Horthy,
Memoirs
January 1, 1939, 10:47
Royal Palace, Budapest
"That's it!" says Horthy, throwing his arms up excitedly. "If there's nothing else, the meeting's over! Thanks for coming, happy new year, and someone had better take these donuts, or I'll eat them all. I'm trying to watch my weight, you guys!"
Széll eyes the donuts briefly, but ultimately ignores them and stands up. "Sir, we need to talk about the Greeks."
Horthy turns to meet his gaze, the smile gone. "Are you gonna put a damper on my year already? I barely woke up an hour ago."
"We
need to re-assess the Greek situation."
Horthy sighs. "If you say so, Say-So. What's new?"
Széll sits and nods at Andorka, who stands in his stead. "We intercepted some new messages this morning. We thought they were planning a spring invasion, but it looks like they're changing plans to catch us off guard. The estimated date right now stands at February 15, and we are
not ready."
Pál Teleki frowns. "They've still not canceled the treaty. Are we sure our intelligence is accurate?"
Andorka tries not to be offended. "As sure as we can be, given our anemic levels of funding. And just look at them! Their armies are mobilized, lining our border and that of Bulgaria, and the Greek ambassador has been extremely cautious of late. I think he knows something."
"What he
knows," says Anna Kéthly, "is that we've become a war-mongering land-grabbing nation playing international politics like it's a game to see who can get the most area on a map by the end. And putting troops on the border seems like the only sensible thing to do, given what I just said. Any trained monkey would do that, and we shouldn't take it as a sign of aggression."
"If they see us as such a massive threat, then why wouldn't they attack while we're weak, our forces spread thin?" asks Széll. "They haven't been trying any diplomatic gambits, and I think we have to assume they're going to try
something to keep us from seeming like a threat. If it's not sitting down and talking, then that only leaves a military solution. Whether we feel that they're justified or not, it would be foolish to ignore the intelligence."
"It would also be foolish," says Vilmos, "to ignore the military realities. We have nine divisions--"
"And two planes!" interrupts Rákosi.
"... and two planes on the Greek front. There is one Bulgarian motorized division."
"And no planes!"
"... right. And no Bulgarian planes. Two of those divisions are garrisons, and they've been positioned on the border provinces that remain."
"The planes are in Tirane!"
Vilmos glares at his colleague. "Béla. I've got this under control, okay? Let's talk after the meeting, but for now, just let me do my thing, alright?"
Rákosi's head sinks and he nods sullenly.
"Thank you," says Vilmos. "Now, as my associate mentioned, the air groups are in Tirane, along with two cavalry quick-strike teams and two divisions of infantry to defend the city. We haven't deployed the cavalry to the front yet, in the interest of taking a purely defensive stance. But we may want to consider--"
"Wait," says Horthy.
So they wait.
"I think...." Horthy starts.
Several minutes pass.
"Whose turn is it?" asks Horthy.
Vilmos continues. "We may want to consider moving the cavalry to the front so we have the best chance of countering the Greek attack."
"Oh! I remember!" says Horthy. "Keep them there. With the boats."
"Sir?" asks Vilmos.
"Keep the cavalry in Tirane. It's for a plan! I have one."
"Will you share it?"
"Well, if you insist. Tirane has the boat place, right?"
"The naval base?"
"That one. So it has the boats, right?"
"The submarines? Yes, there are--"
"No, the real boats. For on top of the water and carrying things."
"The transports. The... yes, I think I know where you're going with this. But you can't just--"
"Uhm," Anna raises her hand. "What are you gentlemen talking about?"
"Well, dear," says Horthy, placing a hand on her shoulder, "We are talking about a way to defuse the Greek situation quickly, effectively, and almost bloodlessly."
"Almost? Can you be a little more specific?"
"But it's so much more funnnn this way!"
"Believe it or not, Mr. Horthy, running a government isn't about making the fun choices."
"You're telling
me. These stuffy fellows can't take a joke to save their lives! I was hoping you were different." Horthy sighs. "Okay, let me explain this as simply as I can. Say these donuts are the top-water boats in Tirane." Horthy grabs a couple donuts and places them in front of himself. "And then these donuts are the horses." He takes another two donuts and places them next to the original donuts. "And then, uh... this... uh... these papers here, these are Greece." He arranges some of the reports into a cohesive and vaguely Greece-shaped mass.
Snatching a pencil from Teleki next to him, he draws a couple of circles on the southeast side. "And this is Athens, and this is Salonika. So then
these donut pieces are the Greek guys." He breaks up one last donut into six pieces and arranges them along the top of the Greece-paper, representing the divisions lining the northern border. "And so instead of this..."--He grabs the horse-donuts and slides them towards the Greece-paper, miming difficulty in progressing past the donut-bit Greek soldiers--"we'll do this." He allows the cavalry-donuts to retreat back to the imaginary Tirane where the transport-donuts are, and then places them atop the transport-donuts. Occasionally making eye contact with Anna to make sure she understands, he slides both donut-stacks around the Greece-paper, parks one near the Salonika circle and one near the Athens circle, and then moves the cavalry-donuts off the transport-donuts and has them occupy the major cities of Greece-paper.
"And then," he concludes, "They'll give up!"
Anna's eyebrows are raised, but they can't decide whether to convey skepticism or admiration. Before she can either raise an objection or express approval, though, Vilmos speaks up.
"This
might work
if they've been dumb enough to leave their major cities undefended, and
if we can keep their assault from reaching Tirane long enough to capture and hold the targets, and
if their own navy is so incompetent as to be outmaneuvered by our transports."
Horthy glares. "Are
you the Chief of the Navy? Do
you have decades of naval experience? Have
you ever gone panther-hunting in the Indian jungles, or kangaroo-hunting in the Australian outback? Have
you ever eaten a dozen pancakes all at once just because some peasant dared you to?"
Vilmos tries unsuccessfully to prevent his eyes from rolling. "No, sir, I haven't. But--"
"Then we're agreed. Everyone get set up! And I've gotta go play some croquet." With that, the Regent starts to stride out of the meeting room.
Anna Kéthly frowns. "No," she says firmly. "You will sit down and explain exactly why Mr. Vilmos' concerns should be allayed. This sort of unregulated cowboy governance is what got us to this point in the first place, and so if you're honestly going to have us invade yet another country unprovoked, you'd better have a damn good explanation for why and how."
Horthy takes a deep breath and stares at Anna. "Alright, fine. But if I'm late for croquet, I will be
very upset."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take." She folds her arms and sits back.
"Széll," says Horthy, "What do we know about the defenses of the Greek coastal cities?"
Széll is a bit surprised to be addressed, but quickly composes himself. "During the initial test voyages of our submarine fleet, a trip was made around the Greek peninsula and up to the Dardanelles. Intelligence gained from that trip and the call to port we made in Athens indicate that the cities have been left with only a skeletal defense."
"Correct. And Teleki, what is the latest word on Soviet naval power in the region?"
Teleki thinks. "As I recall, they have a fleet assigned to patrol the Aegean Sea."
"Correct. Rákosi, how have your pilots in Tirane been training?"
"Uhm, they... they mostly practice ground strikes, sir! For accuracy and effectiveness against infantry."
"Once again, correct. So you
see, Mrs. Prime Minister, we needn't worry about holding back the assault, for our planes will assist the fortified border garrisons. We needn't worry about Greek naval superiority, for our new Soviet allies will ensure that they are suppressed. And we needn't worry that the cities are well-guarded, for we have recently determined that they are not. Is there anything else?"
Anna mulls for a moment. "I still don't see a compelling reason to attack at all."
"Then I suppose it's a good thing for all of Hungary that you don't need to. Now I
will be late to croquet; they've likely started without me, and I hold you personally responsible for any lost points I'll have suffered. Good
day, lady and gentlemen." Horthy strides away for real this time.
Andorka throws a surprised glance at Széll, who just shakes his head and smirks.
