Repositioning, Part 2
Isfahan
“Hello, Alex,” Josh said, “It’s nice to see you again.”
Alex sighed. “Of
course they stick me with you. Why am I not surprised? Freaking Mozaffar wants me to suffer.”
“Look, I don’t know much about this Mozaffar or whoever,” Josh said, “But why don’t we spend the time to catch up, like good old friends?”
“We were
never friends!” Alex said. “You literally tried to kill me multiple times!”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Josh said, “But I’ve heard a few things through the grapevine. To borrow your words, I think I can safely say we’re the same now.”
Alex nodded. “I guess so.”
“What, you’re not even going to deny it?”
“Is there a point?” Alex sat down. “Fact is, a man is dead because of me, and I don’t regret it.”
If only I listened to Thea more, then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess.
“Well, that’s no fun,” Josh said, “I was looking forward to seeing you mope and whine and all that
scheiße.”
“Disappointed?” Alex said. “Only you’d be disappointed in not seeing someone else suffer. You monster.”
“You’re one to talk,” Josh said.
I guess I am. “So what next? You going to kill me?”
“I would, but I can’t,” Josh said.
“You…can’t?”
“Yes, I can’t,” Josh said.
Alex stared at him for several seconds, and then he started cackling. “Oh, this is just rich! I can’t believe it! You’ve got me right where you want to, while I’m at my lowest point, and for once you
can’t kill me? Man, my life is such a rollercoaster.”
“Believe me, if I could, I would.” Josh pointed to a chain wrapped around his leg and attached to the far wall. Alex calculated that at its full length, it would prevent Josh from reaching his side of the cell. “Even without this chain, they’ve pumped me full of inhibitor drugs. My strength and reflexes aren’t what they should be.”
“So you’re saying
I could take you on,” Alex said.
“Theoretically,” Josh said, “But I wouldn’t push your luck.”
“Hold on a second,” Alex said, “Your Panopticon. Can’t they control you through that, instead of using drugs?”
“I hear they plan on removing it soon,” Josh said, “Something about getting my experiences stored on it.”
The last Argeiphontes version I know could barely recover data. Something about brain waves and bioelectricity of an active implanted Panopticon interfering with and being passed along the wireless connection, obscuring the stuff we want. Looks like Mozaffar’s men can’t get much further than that, so they have to take it out. “They’re taking out your Panopticon?”
“Unfortunately,” Josh said, “A shame. I rather like it.”
“Well, good riddance,” Alex said, “Soon you’ll be back to being like the rest of us.”
“What, boring old sight and no computer helping you think?” Josh said. “No thanks. For years, these Panopticons made everything look like my old shooter games. Ammo count and HP bar in the corner, minimap at the top, enemies marked in red for my own convenience. It was glorious!”
“Is that how the Panopticon makes you see everything?” Alex said. “No wonder you’ve become such a monster. You just see everyone you killed as enemies in a game.”
Alex wasn’t the kind of person who believed video games caused real life violence. But the Panopticons came dangerously close to being a missing link, by changing perception into something organized like a game. The user would stop seeing others as equally human and start seeing them as NPCs or, even worse, mobs to kill. Everything those critics said about video games was now happening with Panopticons. Alex was 100% sure those critics would also fawn over the Panopticons as the future of warfare.
Another reason we have to put a stop to this dangerous technology.
“So what?” Josh said. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a game or real life. I see an enemy, I kill them. That’s my job as a soldier. It’s that simple.”
“Have you ever thought about how your victims feel?” Alex said. “The suffering they’ve gone through?”
“Actually, I have,” Josh said, “I’ve thought about it before, and you know what I found? I felt absolutely nothing. No pity or guilt or doubt. Nothing at all when the light leaves my victims’ eyes. Actually, the Panopticon’s signals
help me to feel something afterward. You know what that is?”
He leaned closer. “Euphoria. That dopamine rush I get every time I put a bullet right here—” He tapped his forehead between his eyes. “—It’s far more satisfying than any drug or other sensation you can think of. With the P’s, each taste of blood feels oh—so—GOOD!”
“Good thing they’re removing your Panopticon,” Alex said, “You’ll go back to feeling absolutely nothing.”
If he ever got out of this prison, he made a note to ask for Josh’s medical status. If the Panopticon had successfully made him feel something, there was a chance his lack of feeling was tied to a biological issue within his brain, not just psychological. If the Panopticon could induce the brain to create dopamine and make him feel euphoria, then perhaps it could do the same with other chemicals that regulated the emotions. Perhaps they could make him feel guilt. Although if it
was psychological, then there was little they could do.
“Sure, but I’ve got no problem with that,” Josh said, “Though that’s rich coming from you.”
“Don’t try to turn it around on me,” Alex said, “I at least feel things.”
“So how did you feel when you shot that guy?” Josh said. “Yes, I know the details. You shot a guy in cold blood because he ran over your precious wife. How did you feel when you realize what you did? Standing over his body, watching the blood pool around him, looking at the smoking gun in your hand, knowing your choice resulted in his death? Did you feel the rush, like I did? That feeling of relief and domination?”
“At first, I felt afraid,” Alex said, “Afraid he would kill Thea. That fear became anger, which became rage. My vision turned deep red. My hands moved on my own. It took all of my strength to aim for his leg. He fell to the ground, spasmed for several long seconds, and then fell still. I didn’t expect him to die. I wasn’t trying to kill him. But when I realized he was actually dead, I felt something.”
“What was it?”
“Relief,” Alex said, “Relief that he won’t threaten Thea again. And I told myself that if anybody else tried it, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again, if it means protecting Thea. I still felt horrible for taking his life. That man probably had a family who will never get to see him again. I guess one of us was bound to lose a family member that day. Perhaps that man was motivated by the same things I was. Perhaps he just wanted to protect his own family and thought we were a threat. I proved him right. I defended myself and Thea, but I became that threat he feared. He failed to protect his own loved ones. We may have been the same in many ways, but this is one of the ways we’re different, Josh. I think about all this, and you don’t.”
“Why bother yourself with such trivial
scheiße, when you can just do as I do and not care at all?” Josh said. “It’s much easier for your mind if you just purge yourself of these unnecessary feelings. What do you need with them anyways?”
“It’s what keeps me human,” Alex said, “Otherwise, I’d just be a machine. I refuse to be a heartless machine, like what Jerusalem twisted you into.”
“I’ve always been like this, Alex,” Josh said.
“I don’t think so,” Alex said, “I remember what you were like in middle school. There was a time before you were an emotionless killer. I remember you really liked to learn things. How you lit up when we studied history, despite what you said to me and Manfred. You had friends too. A clique of bullies, sure, but you all seemed to get along. How can you possibly say you were always what you are today?”
“Because that’s who I am, deep down,” Josh said, “A vulture in this cruel world where you either give or you take.”
“No, I think I know why,” Alex said, “You’re trying to justify your actions to yourself. You’ve always had doubts about the path you’ve taken, no matter what you say to me or yourself. Deep down, there’s a part of you that knows what you’re doing is wrong. You ignore it, or perhaps that part of your brain isn’t working properly, but it’s still there. So you try not to think about it at all. You pretend it doesn’t exist and tell yourself excuses to convince yourself you’re doing the right thing.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Because if you admit you’re wrong, then everything you’ve done for the last few years will have been for nothing. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. You’ve already spent years going down this path, so backing out would seem like a waste.”
“You know nothing about me,” Josh said, “You don’t know why I chose this path. And I
chose this path.”
Alex shook his head. “I’ve seen some of your memories through the Panopticon.”
“You did?” A brief look of alarm flashed across Josh’s face.
“Only a few snippets,” Alex said, “But enough to see what you were like before. Your mother always encouraged you to read history books. You took care of a dog. But your father pushed you down the path of the vulture and left you no other choice. You wanted to see your mother again so she could convince you to turn around, but he killed her, keeping you on your path. This was never your path to choose. You’ve been on a script most of your life, so of course it’s going to look scary when you run out of lines to read.”
“And you
aren’t on a script too?” Josh said. “Because let’s face it, this world runs on things far greater than any of us. We just get swept along by the currents.”
“That’s true,” Alex said, “One person alone isn’t enough to change things. But we can still try to find our own place, doing something we love and want to do. We can find other people we share common cause with and try to build something, in the hopes that we can ultimately redirect the currents to wherever we want.”
“But…” Josh’s voice wavered. “The vultures…they’ll just backstab you in the end.”
“That’s not true,” Alex said, “There are plenty of people out there like me who aren’t…backstabbing scumbags. We just want to live our lives in peace with those we care about.”
“And what if you can’t live in peace, because of people like me?” Josh asked. “I’ve helped plunge the world into war. I’ve helped kill millions, including your own parents.”
“If I can’t live in peace, I can at least try to put the pieces back together so that the next generation can,” Alex said, “And if I’m not available to do that, then someone else will. That’s how we’ve survived as a species. Humans, frankly, are weak creatures. Fearful and paranoid and physically frail. Helpless for the first few years of their life. We’re scared of the unknown other as a survival mechanism against predators, and we’re primed to fight back. That impulse, turned inward, becomes a drive for betterment through competition. But you forget there’s another aspect to our humanity. We’re weak and helpless, but we band together for protection. We help and teach each other what we know, synthesizing new ideas in the process. It’s that cooperation that drives the world forward, not just competition. So even if you think everybody is a competitor, you’re wrong. There’s plenty of people out there who are willing to lend a hand, if you ask.”
“Who would help me though, after all I’ve done?” Josh said.
“Is that a hint of remorse I hear?”
“Don’t get me wrong, this is just a hypothetical. But say I dedicate myself to…rehabilitation, as the Persians call it. Who would want to help someone whose hands have killed thousands and paved the way for the destruction of entire countries?”
“If you make an honest effort at redeeming yourself, people might give you another shot,” Alex said, “It’s never too late to walk a different path.”
“How can you say that to me?” Josh said. “You should hate me for everything I’ve done. I took your parents from you. I took your home, your country. I killed Oskar. I’ve committed unspeakable atrocities, things that can’t be taken back no matter how forgiving you can be. So why aren’t you hating me as much as you should? Why don’t you want me dead? As the victor of our final battle, you have every right to end things. So why won’t you?”
“Because Oskar wouldn’t have done it,” Alex said..
“…Oskar.”
Alex nodded. “It was so long ago, but I can still hear his words as though I just got out of his class five minutes ago. This is not what Oskar would want. A cycle of hatred begetting hatred, violence begetting more violence, people never truly understanding each other, it has to end at some point. We need to make amends, so the healing process can begin. It might take a long time, perhaps even years, but we won’t know until we try it. We can’t keep going on hating one another.”
Josh was silent for a while. Then he headed back to his end of the cell, his chain clinking behind him. “I think we’re done talking here.” He said nothing else.
“Just take some time to think about it,” Alex said, “I know I will be too.”
He heard no response.
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Edit: fixed some typos.
