Hello!
The purpose of this thread as you might have guessed is to share with you all the single greatest mosaic ever made. I could have put this thing in a post on any number of threads, but it deserves its own. First of all some background:
The Legend of Romulus and Remus:
I'm sure you all know this tale, but here is a little refresher anyway:
Romulus and Remus were born in Alba Longa, one of the ancient Latin cities near the future site of Rome. Their mother, Rhea Silvia was a vestal virgin and the daughter of the former king, Numitor, who had been displaced by his brother Amulius. In some sources, Rhea Silvia conceived them when their father, the god Mars, visited her in a sacred grove dedicated to him.Through their mother, the twins were descended from Greek and Latin nobility.
Seeing them as a possible threat to his rule, King Amulius ordered them to be killed and they were abandoned on the bank of the river Tiber to die. They were saved by the god Tiberinus, Father of the River, and survived with the care of others, at the site of what would eventually become Rome. In the most well-known episode, the twins were suckled by a she-wolf, in a cave now known as the Lupercal. Eventually, they were adopted by Faustulus, a shepherd. They grew up tending flocks, unaware of their true identities. Eventually they would go on to found Rome... but that is another story.
Mosaics in Roman Britain:
While books could and have been filled with studies of mosaic manufacture in Roman Britain, it suffices to say there were two main schools: one based in Cirencester down in modern Gloucestershire, which produced many of the highest-quality mosaics found in Britain. The other was based in modern Yorkshire at Petuaria on the Humber, their mosaics were, to put it nicely, not quite as good - as you will now see.
[Mosaic depicting the she-wolf with Romulus and Remus]
Just look at his glorious work, this masterpiece of Romano-British art. This mosaic for the ages comes from Aldborough, known back then as Isurium Brigantium, the civitas of the Brigantes after they became Romanised. Yep, someone of status in the Brigantes paid for this and then evidently loved its derpy little face as much as me and didn't have it immediately ripped up and the makers flogged.
I mean just look at this face. From the horror-movie mouth to the cartoon-character-hit-with-a-pan nose and those wide, empty eyes. Look at it and tell me this isn't Moon-Moon's Roman ancestor.
Is it just me or does the base of this tree look a lot more like the bottom of an old-fashioned lamp post? Either these workmen predicted the future or they didn't know what a tree looks like.
While the lamppost/tree trunk can be overlooked, what in the name of all that is holy is this. That is quite clearly the back legs of a horse. Not a wolf. A HORSE. Did they start this mosaic as something else? Or did they really not have any idea what a wolf looks like and just make it up as they went along? Honestly, at this point I suspect the latter.
And finally we have the crowing glory of this glorious bastard. Romulus and Remus themselves, who rather than suckling at the wolfs none-existent teats have decided to do the only sensible thing run away from this unholy monstrosity as fast as their chubby little legs will carry them. Yep, this wolf spurred them to learn how to not just walk, but run, as babies.
I hope you will all agree with me that this is the single greatest mosaic ever to be made (Alexander at Issus, I'm sorry). To any devs that read this, please, please find a way for this glorious thing to be in the game - be it as an event, achievement or even a traumatic loading screen. It, and its makers, deserve it.
TL: DR
The purpose of this thread as you might have guessed is to share with you all the single greatest mosaic ever made. I could have put this thing in a post on any number of threads, but it deserves its own. First of all some background:
The Legend of Romulus and Remus:
I'm sure you all know this tale, but here is a little refresher anyway:
Romulus and Remus were born in Alba Longa, one of the ancient Latin cities near the future site of Rome. Their mother, Rhea Silvia was a vestal virgin and the daughter of the former king, Numitor, who had been displaced by his brother Amulius. In some sources, Rhea Silvia conceived them when their father, the god Mars, visited her in a sacred grove dedicated to him.Through their mother, the twins were descended from Greek and Latin nobility.
Seeing them as a possible threat to his rule, King Amulius ordered them to be killed and they were abandoned on the bank of the river Tiber to die. They were saved by the god Tiberinus, Father of the River, and survived with the care of others, at the site of what would eventually become Rome. In the most well-known episode, the twins were suckled by a she-wolf, in a cave now known as the Lupercal. Eventually, they were adopted by Faustulus, a shepherd. They grew up tending flocks, unaware of their true identities. Eventually they would go on to found Rome... but that is another story.
Mosaics in Roman Britain:
While books could and have been filled with studies of mosaic manufacture in Roman Britain, it suffices to say there were two main schools: one based in Cirencester down in modern Gloucestershire, which produced many of the highest-quality mosaics found in Britain. The other was based in modern Yorkshire at Petuaria on the Humber, their mosaics were, to put it nicely, not quite as good - as you will now see.
[Mosaic depicting the she-wolf with Romulus and Remus]
Just look at his glorious work, this masterpiece of Romano-British art. This mosaic for the ages comes from Aldborough, known back then as Isurium Brigantium, the civitas of the Brigantes after they became Romanised. Yep, someone of status in the Brigantes paid for this and then evidently loved its derpy little face as much as me and didn't have it immediately ripped up and the makers flogged.
I mean just look at this face. From the horror-movie mouth to the cartoon-character-hit-with-a-pan nose and those wide, empty eyes. Look at it and tell me this isn't Moon-Moon's Roman ancestor.
Is it just me or does the base of this tree look a lot more like the bottom of an old-fashioned lamp post? Either these workmen predicted the future or they didn't know what a tree looks like.
While the lamppost/tree trunk can be overlooked, what in the name of all that is holy is this. That is quite clearly the back legs of a horse. Not a wolf. A HORSE. Did they start this mosaic as something else? Or did they really not have any idea what a wolf looks like and just make it up as they went along? Honestly, at this point I suspect the latter.
And finally we have the crowing glory of this glorious bastard. Romulus and Remus themselves, who rather than suckling at the wolfs none-existent teats have decided to do the only sensible thing run away from this unholy monstrosity as fast as their chubby little legs will carry them. Yep, this wolf spurred them to learn how to not just walk, but run, as babies.
I hope you will all agree with me that this is the single greatest mosaic ever to be made (Alexander at Issus, I'm sorry). To any devs that read this, please, please find a way for this glorious thing to be in the game - be it as an event, achievement or even a traumatic loading screen. It, and its makers, deserve it.
TL: DR
!!!) is the commentary. I had a very manly giggle through the thread.
