The Good Samaritans
It was on the 27th of Shevat, in the year 4627 after the creation of the world (or Late January of 876 if you're a tourist) that the Abbasid caliph al-Muʿtazz, whose name ironically means "Strengthened by Allah", relented to the demands of the Highlanders, citing political concerns elsewhere and the fact that he was already fighting two incredibly expensive wars while trying his damnedest not to be murdered by his unruly vassals. Contrastively, it was a joyous day for the Highlanders, who quickly set about refitting the joint that their former landlord had left vacated them.
Four allotments were drawn up amongst the leaders of the rebellion — to Jesse the Shechemite, the shrewd leader of the negotiations with the caliph, the ancient lands of Manasseh and Issachar were given. From some perspectives yes — Jesse did secure himself the most productive demense and possession of the sanctuary of the True G*d of the Israelites (Mount Gerizim, in case you were wondering), but he graciously saved Jerusalem (which our southern yokel cousins once *mistakenly* believed to be the sanctuary of our G*d until the Romans set them up with "nice" new "homes" on the "border") for his good friend Hevel, as well as with all the baggage that naturally came with it.
Speaking of Hevel, he was the second to be given his allotment; to him, the ancient lands of Benjamin, Ephraim, Dan, and Gad were assigned, as well as Philistia north of Ashkelon. The assignment of Gad was just a formality — the Caliph naturally retained all the lands on the East Bank of the Jordan "for safekeeping".
The third to be given his allotment was Chaim, to whom the ancient lands of Zebulun, Asher, and Naphtali in Galilee were given. Most living in those lands had adopted the teachings of the Nazarene, and Chaim's tolerant disposition and indifference to heterodoxy would allow him to broker peace, or so the hopes went.
Finally, Tomer accepted his allotment, which consisted of the ancient tribal lands of Judah, Simeon, and Reuben, as well as the city of Gaza. His sympathetic nature towards the Faithful of Allah and his marital alliance to a Bedouin tribe on the East Bank made him, at least to all appearances, a fitting candidate to govern in those lands.
On the 27th of Adar (the following month, tourists), for the first time in a hundred generations plus forty years for good measure, King was anointed on the summit of Mount Gerizim, the Sanctuary of our very G*d and the Holiest Square Inch of the the Face of the Earth in the eyes of Israel's children (or at least the ones that the Romans didn't send off house-hunting). For the Holy Anointing Oil, we used the recipe from Exodus 30:22-25:
(22) Morover the LORD spoke unto Moses, saying:
(23) "Take thou also unto thee the chief spices,
of flowing myrrh five hundred shekels,
and of sweet cinnamon half so much,
even two hundred and fifty,
and of kaneh bosm two hundred and fifty,
(24) And of cassia five hundred, after the shekel of the sanctuary,
and of olive oil a hin.
(25) And thou shalt make it a holy anointing oil,
a perfume compounded after the art of the perfumer;
it shall be a holy anointing oil.
Like shekels grow on trees, right?
Anyway, the conditional independence was bittersweet to say the least. With the priviledge of governing some of Allah's faithful came a monthly insurance payment to avoid any "incidents" which might occur — it's a dangerous world when you border the Sunni G*ddamn Caliphate after all, innit? So, for each shekel collected in taxes, an even forty grains were owed the Caliph.
There are only one hundred and eight grains in a shekel. As you can imagine, prosperity is a pipe dream for the moment.
Hey, I'm trying something a little different. I don't have big plans for this one so it goes until I stop updating it.
