The Golden Horde In 40 Easy Steps
The figure glides across the street, the weight of the burden causing him to hunch as if he was an old peddler. He fumbles with a pair of copper and brass keys to push open the big oak door. Sadly, the effect is ruined when the door is caught on something and the figure is forced to slam his considerable weight against while cursing inventively.
Eventually, the door gives way and he spills into the darkened corridor beyond, reeking with the smell of unuse and that odor of lingering burst toast. Immediately, he sets into a routine shaped by hundreds of repartitions, sitting heavily on a pair of nearby steps and pulling off his shoes, which land unceremoniously (not to mention loudly) on the floor.
Grunting with the effort of hauling himself off the ground, he sets off up the shallow stair case and left into an unremarkable room. A low-lying bed dominates much of the room, along with a poorly lit desk in the far corner, liberally covered with paper. The figure proceeds to change, going from smart to a more casual, looser attire, he wastes no time with the chore and leaves quickly, only pausing to straighten some of the clothes.
His next leg of the trip takes him to the third story of the building, into a surprisingly spacious room. Again, another desk covets one corner, though this time it is without the reams of paper. The figure slips into the hard backed chair and switches on the computer.
Because I’m home, and home means Europa Universalis.
For an AAR, I have chosen the Golden Horde. Not a particularly taxing task, I’ll admit, but it serves to while the hours away before my studying time begins. Anyway, since I’m not that much of a writer (or, better yet, have no actual imagination what-so-ever), this won’t be in any clever form. I’ll leave that to the people with talent. This will be more along the lines of my short lived Swedish Summary AAR I did for EU1, hopefully this time, my brother won’t reformat the computer without telling me.
Sadly, what with exams coming up and everything, I’ll probably only be updating this sporadically, if it all. I’ve played some way into it, but I’m too busy (aww…) to do it often.
Why the Golden Horde? I like rebels and the Timurids have been done already
So, let me present, Golden Horde in 40 easy steps. At the time of writing, I’m still playing, so maybe I’ll give up, or ‘accidentally’ reformat my computer if things turn against me…
Day 1
Music: System of a Down (love them Armenians)
Drink: Egad man, its four o’clock in the evening!
Mood: Quietly eager.
TV Background: Newsround
A quick survey of the Golden Horde reveals the following:
I have 17 provinces under my command. 2 are Orthodox, this could prove to be a problem. The rest are Muslim and all have a revolt risk of at 1%. My massive, massive armies consist of 22,000 cavalry in Samara. This has to change.
For my domestics, I reveal:
Plut vs Arist: 9 (eep)
Decentralised vs Central: 0 (argh)
Narrow vs Innotive: 2 (so, so)
Free Trade vs Merchant: 8 (big deal, geddit?)
Defensive vs Offen: 6 (sounds good)
Naval vs Land: 6 (yeah? With 1 port and no navy. Good idea…)
Quan vs Qual: 2 (well, it gets awfully snowy, so this is good)
Free vs Serfs: 10 (suckers)
So I unpause the game and to my mixed delight, Tambow (one of my orthodox provinces) revolts. This pleases me no end as my 22,000 cavalry swoop in and crush the foolish rebels. My pleasure is short lived as 6 more provinces (including Tambow again) revolt within about 4 months.
Thankfully, with a stability increase in September of 1420, most of the muslim provinces quieten down. Tambow takes the chance to revolt again.
Our unknowing alliance with Qara Koyulu and the Mameluks bears fruit when a war with Ak Koyunlu and Dulkadir begins.
Well, I couldn’t find Dulkidar anywhere on the map (if anyone should wish to enlighten or confuse me, go ahead) so I guess its just the Sheep then.
Several months into the war, I seem to have found an interesting phenomenon: I can’t win. Regularly, armies four times smaller than mine thrash me into the ground, and this is with an increased change in Naval-land war. Despite this strange element of war, in August, the war heralds up Dareheston to our control (if not possession) and, along with an excellent minister, things are looking.
However, I settle for a 50 ducat peace, despite probably having spent at least twice that much to fight that war. Quite frankly, I believe that was the best deal I was going to get.
Once again, to herald in a stability increase, Tambow revolts again.
The next four years are pretty dull: I spent it praying that nobody drags me into another war as I’m busy chasing rebels around the country.
January 1, 1428, income: 52 ducats. Oh dear God. Most of my money goes on replacing troops killed by the rebels and I daren’t appoint bailiffs with my already criminal revolt risks.
In August however, I feel things have settled down enough to begin expanding the realm. Suzdal looks tempting, being a one province minor and all, but sadly, it’s protected by Lithunia who, frankly, scare the shit out of me. Worse yet, Suzdal turns out to be my vassal. So that’s a no go.
Sibir is my second choice. If I could find their capitol, dammit, sadly, with no capitol and come no declaration of war. So I’m stuck with my third choice: Nogai. Thus, I gather 40,000 troops (under Ulugh Mohammad) to the border, this is roughly half my army, and the rest of it is still chasing rebels.
By October 1429, after a few set-backs, this war is looking up, with Irgiz, Alga and Orsk under my control and Emba soon to follow.
Well, that’s it for today kids. Stay tuned for step 2.
The figure glides across the street, the weight of the burden causing him to hunch as if he was an old peddler. He fumbles with a pair of copper and brass keys to push open the big oak door. Sadly, the effect is ruined when the door is caught on something and the figure is forced to slam his considerable weight against while cursing inventively.
Eventually, the door gives way and he spills into the darkened corridor beyond, reeking with the smell of unuse and that odor of lingering burst toast. Immediately, he sets into a routine shaped by hundreds of repartitions, sitting heavily on a pair of nearby steps and pulling off his shoes, which land unceremoniously (not to mention loudly) on the floor.
Grunting with the effort of hauling himself off the ground, he sets off up the shallow stair case and left into an unremarkable room. A low-lying bed dominates much of the room, along with a poorly lit desk in the far corner, liberally covered with paper. The figure proceeds to change, going from smart to a more casual, looser attire, he wastes no time with the chore and leaves quickly, only pausing to straighten some of the clothes.
His next leg of the trip takes him to the third story of the building, into a surprisingly spacious room. Again, another desk covets one corner, though this time it is without the reams of paper. The figure slips into the hard backed chair and switches on the computer.
Because I’m home, and home means Europa Universalis.
For an AAR, I have chosen the Golden Horde. Not a particularly taxing task, I’ll admit, but it serves to while the hours away before my studying time begins. Anyway, since I’m not that much of a writer (or, better yet, have no actual imagination what-so-ever), this won’t be in any clever form. I’ll leave that to the people with talent. This will be more along the lines of my short lived Swedish Summary AAR I did for EU1, hopefully this time, my brother won’t reformat the computer without telling me.
Sadly, what with exams coming up and everything, I’ll probably only be updating this sporadically, if it all. I’ve played some way into it, but I’m too busy (aww…) to do it often.
Why the Golden Horde? I like rebels and the Timurids have been done already
So, let me present, Golden Horde in 40 easy steps. At the time of writing, I’m still playing, so maybe I’ll give up, or ‘accidentally’ reformat my computer if things turn against me…
Day 1
Music: System of a Down (love them Armenians)
Drink: Egad man, its four o’clock in the evening!
Mood: Quietly eager.
TV Background: Newsround
A quick survey of the Golden Horde reveals the following:
I have 17 provinces under my command. 2 are Orthodox, this could prove to be a problem. The rest are Muslim and all have a revolt risk of at 1%. My massive, massive armies consist of 22,000 cavalry in Samara. This has to change.
For my domestics, I reveal:
Plut vs Arist: 9 (eep)
Decentralised vs Central: 0 (argh)
Narrow vs Innotive: 2 (so, so)
Free Trade vs Merchant: 8 (big deal, geddit?)
Defensive vs Offen: 6 (sounds good)
Naval vs Land: 6 (yeah? With 1 port and no navy. Good idea…)
Quan vs Qual: 2 (well, it gets awfully snowy, so this is good)
Free vs Serfs: 10 (suckers)
So I unpause the game and to my mixed delight, Tambow (one of my orthodox provinces) revolts. This pleases me no end as my 22,000 cavalry swoop in and crush the foolish rebels. My pleasure is short lived as 6 more provinces (including Tambow again) revolt within about 4 months.
Thankfully, with a stability increase in September of 1420, most of the muslim provinces quieten down. Tambow takes the chance to revolt again.
Our unknowing alliance with Qara Koyulu and the Mameluks bears fruit when a war with Ak Koyunlu and Dulkadir begins.
Well, I couldn’t find Dulkidar anywhere on the map (if anyone should wish to enlighten or confuse me, go ahead) so I guess its just the Sheep then.
Several months into the war, I seem to have found an interesting phenomenon: I can’t win. Regularly, armies four times smaller than mine thrash me into the ground, and this is with an increased change in Naval-land war. Despite this strange element of war, in August, the war heralds up Dareheston to our control (if not possession) and, along with an excellent minister, things are looking.
However, I settle for a 50 ducat peace, despite probably having spent at least twice that much to fight that war. Quite frankly, I believe that was the best deal I was going to get.
Once again, to herald in a stability increase, Tambow revolts again.
The next four years are pretty dull: I spent it praying that nobody drags me into another war as I’m busy chasing rebels around the country.
January 1, 1428, income: 52 ducats. Oh dear God. Most of my money goes on replacing troops killed by the rebels and I daren’t appoint bailiffs with my already criminal revolt risks.
In August however, I feel things have settled down enough to begin expanding the realm. Suzdal looks tempting, being a one province minor and all, but sadly, it’s protected by Lithunia who, frankly, scare the shit out of me. Worse yet, Suzdal turns out to be my vassal. So that’s a no go.
Sibir is my second choice. If I could find their capitol, dammit, sadly, with no capitol and come no declaration of war. So I’m stuck with my third choice: Nogai. Thus, I gather 40,000 troops (under Ulugh Mohammad) to the border, this is roughly half my army, and the rest of it is still chasing rebels.
By October 1429, after a few set-backs, this war is looking up, with Irgiz, Alga and Orsk under my control and Emba soon to follow.
Well, that’s it for today kids. Stay tuned for step 2.
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